Hey everyone! Don't worry, I haven't abandoned this story! Sorry it has taken so long to get this up. Real life gets in the way sometimes, but I won't leave you hanging for that long again.

As always, thank you to everyone who continues to read this story

Meredith finished making dinner, while she listened to Derek making funny noises, and likely faces, at the kids to keep them entertained. Bailey even managed a giggle, even though he was hungry and feeling sick.

As soon as Zola had eaten her dinner, she fell asleep on the couch. Meredith felt a strange sense of relief since she had been worried about the question Zola had asked earlier. She didn't want Zola to think her question was being ignored, but at the same time Meredith really didn't want to have this discussion without Derek. She desperately wished she could just erase all of the pain from Zola's memories.

Once Zola was tucked in bed, Meredith returned to the living room to find Derek making clown faces at their son, who was in his playpen. After her stressful day, Meredith couldn't help but burst into laughter at the sight. There was her husband making faces, and her son pointing at the iPad, trying to figure out what was going on.

"This stays between you and me, Meredith" Derek said, as his wife picked up the iPad and the baby and headed toward the couch.

"Oh, don't forget about this little guy here. He could probably tell everyone tomorrow, if he wanted to. He's quite the genius"

"Well, we know where he gets that from" Derek said with a smirk.

"Do we now?" Meredith got Bailey situated to breastfeed, and he started to eat. "There you go, baby, that's better isn't it?"

"Oh yes, I definitely know where the genius genes came from"

"Maybe the genius should be the one juggling the dinner, fever and tantrums then." Meredith instantly regretted snapping at him. It wasn't his fault that she had had such a rough night. But, she needed to take it out on someone. Even just a little bit.

Derek's face fell, the conversation had taken quite a turn.

"I was just kidding, Mer. You know that"

"I know…I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. This is just a lot harder than I thought it would be"

Derek smiled, sympathetically. They both hated the situation they were in, but the only thing they could do was get through it. "I know. I'm sorry. Not all of your nights will be like this one"

"Do you promise?"

"Ummm…no, but I really, really think so" Derek knew that saying the word "promise" was dangerous—especially in this situation. He had no idea how the kids would be for the next three nights. If he promised, and things didn't improve, Meredith would not be happy.

Meredith laughed upon hearing this. He was careful to promise things to her, and this was definitely something that could not be promised. "I hope so too".

"So, what did you and Zo have for dinner?"

"Pasta, with the sauce you made. She wanted to help, so instead of boiling the water first, I was going to let her put the noodles in and then boil.."

"Wait….you did what?"

"I was going to put the pasta in and then boil the water"

Meredith could tell that Derek was holding in laughter. She wasn't sure what was so funny. She couldn't tell if he was making fun or her or not.

"What on earth is so funny?"

"Meredith…just don't tell anyone from Italy. They would probably murder us"

"What? Why?"

"That's not the way to make pasta"

Derek could tell that this joke was not going over very well. His wife was exhausted and had dealt with two upset children for most of the evening, without much help. And here he was making fun of her. He knew he had to start talking, fast, before she started ranting at him.

"I know, I know, you were letting Zola help you. It's a great idea, that way she can help and you still get pasta." Part of Derek wanted to ask how it had turned out, but he knew he was already in over his head.

Normally, Derek's comment would not have bothered Meredith. She would have laughed too, they often joked together about her limitations in the kitchen. But tonight, she felt like a terrible mother who couldn't do anything right. And he was not helping. She wanted to start ranting to him about how he should not be making fun of her when she was home by herself, but she decided to direct her emotions toward what had happened with Zola.

"Well, my idea was bad in more ways than one then. Zola accidentally poured the entire box of pasta into the pot, and it went everywhere once the pot was full. It's still all over the floor actually, I'm too tired to clean it up."

"Oh no, so that's how the tantrum started?"

"Yep." Meredith suppressed the urge to add a comment about Derek's bribing upsetting Zola. "But, that's not the end of it"

At that moment, Bailey finished eating. He hadn't eaten much, but since he wasn't feeling well, it was normal. When Bailey did not start crying, Meredith was relieved. At least she had done something right tonight. Meredith decided to keep the baby in her arms instead of taking him to his crib. She needed someone to snuggle because this conversation with Derek was going to be hard. Very hard. Part of her didn't want to tell him what Zola had said until he got home. But, he needed to know and quite frankly, she needed him to know. She couldn't deal with this by herself.

With tears rolling down her cheeks, Meredith began to explain her conversation with Zola to her husband.

Once Meredith had gotten all of Zola's words out, she brought her knees to her chest, snuggled Bailey further into her body, and cried. Derek was crying too. Neither of them knew what to say. It was too heartbreaking, to think that Zola remembered being away from them, multiple times. They had hoped her only memory would be the plane crash.

Derek felt like his heart had been torn. In this moment, he hated his new job. He hated that he was not there to hold Meredith in his arms, to tell her everything would be alright. He hated that she had to deal with this situation with Zola and a sick baby, by herself. There was very little he could do from D.C., but he did his best to comfort her with his words.

"Hey, it's all going to be fine. It is. This is one bad day."

"Derek, she remembers. She probably remembers all of it." Meredith was still crying, she had held too many emotions in during the day. They were all coming out now.

"I hate it too. But-listen, look at me okay?"

When Meredith looked up, he continued

"She is happy. Zola is happy, and we love her more than anything in the world. She knows that. When I come home, we'll sit down with her and talk this out. Okay?"

"Okay." If Meredith had the energy, she would have told Derek all of the ways it probably would not be okay. But she had no energy left, not tonight.

"How is Bailey? Is he still warm? He's asleep, so he must be feeling better"

"Yeah, he doesn't feel as warm as he did. I'll check the thermometer"

Bailey's temperature had indeed gone back to normal. A small victory in an evening that seemed like endless failures.

Derek insisted that Meredith get some sleep, now that Bailey seemed to be doing much better. Meredith knew that Derek was going to get very little sleep, because of the time difference. It was past midnight for him. But she knew that he didn't care about that.

After saying goodnight to her husband, Meredith brought Bailey into her bedroom and placed him in the bassinet. His Tylenol would wear off after four hours, and Meredith wanted him to be close to her. She set alarm to go off in the middle of the night so that she could give Bailey some more Tylenol before he started to feel sick again.

As she lay in her bed, Meredith thought about her precious little girl, and everything she had been through in life.

Zola had been through a lot in her three short years. At two months old, someone had dropped her off at the orphanage in Malawi, only for them to take care of the baby. No other words were spoken, though the orphanage workers suspected that Zola's parents had passed away, or were otherwise unable to take care of a baby.

Meredith and Derek had been told that the baby had cried continuously at the orphanage, clearly needing her mommy and daddy and unable to understand where she was. She only stopped crying when she was placed in the arms of her new daddy, at the age of six months. She had gone through three surgeries in her initial hospital stay, and then taken to an unfamiliar place, with someone she barely knew. Zola had not stopped crying that first night at home. Meredith had felt shattered that night—Derek had left her, he thought she was a bad mother, and here she was with their newly adopted daughter, and she could not get her to stop crying. Meredith had never felt like a worse mother than she did that night. Zola was scared, and nothing she did seemed to help.

When Zola finally began to get comfortable and trust her new family, she was taken away again, to her third "home" over the course of just one month. She was scared, she did not trust these new people. She just wanted her mommy and daddy.

To top off that difficult time, Zola's shunt malfunctioned, causing a bowel obstruction and seizures. She'd had another surgery, back in a strange place with people she didn't know. Her only comfort was her Auntie Cristina, and the voices of the two people who loved her more than anything—over the phone.

When she was finally returned home to her overjoyed parents, Zola had clung to one of her parents for an entire week before she could be separated from them without screaming. Meredith and Derek knew how important a secure attachment was for babies, and they knew that was something Zola had lacked, and something she, like all babies, craved. They gave her all the security and comfort they could, hoping they could make up for the months of insecurity their daughter had gone through.

While she and Derek were in the woods following the plane crash, of course Meredith was scared for her little girl. She knew she would be scared, as would any two year old, separated from her family. But she was also especially worried because Zola had been separated from the people who loved her and cared for her so many times in her short life. Meredith was scared that Zola would fear she'd been abandoned again-like she was when her biological parents died, like she was when the orphanage workers left the hospital without her, like she was when she was taken away to a foster home.

When they returned from the woods, Meredith and Derek had consulted child psychology specialists to make sure they did everything right to help Zola deal with what had happened. And it had gone well, Zola had adjusted quite well, all things considered.

Or so they thought.

Meredith checked the clock and saw that she'd been lying in bed for an hour. Soon, it would be time to give Bailey more Tylenol. She tried to bring Derek's words to the front of her mind, to help ease her worrying. She had to sleep tonight. Taking care of two small children alone was hard enough without sleep deprivation.

"She's happy. She knows we love her. Everything will be alright"