Part three: The Dream
The fever was taking hold. She could feel it building, burning. Her body was shivering from the heat of it. Snowflakes swam before her eyes. Graceful, bright little distractions that confused her: they always did when she fell ill. Part of her was still rational enough to realise this. Part of her knew exactly how and why they danced in the air. That part knew that this was her body's reaction to infection. Her powers were every bit part of her, and if her temperature rose, they'd do their best to help keep her cool; even if it meant appearing unbidden, even if it meant covering her bedroom in snow.
Heavens above she hated being ill.
But it wasn't so bad this time. She wasn't trying to hold it all back any more. She wasn't alone, shivering while her mother prayed and her father waited. She wasn't going to push her family away when they finally decided to come to her bedside, she wouldn't beg them not to touch her, not to hold her. Not that Anna would let her anyway.
"Hush..." her younger sibling whispered. "It's gonna be okay."
A freckled hand came across her face to replace the damp cloth on her forehead. No gloves, no mittens, gods Anna, was she trying to catch a cold too? Was she not feeling the effect of her powers upon the room? Elsa blearily gazed up at Anna's smiling face. The ginger plaits were completely free of snow, what snowflakes did try to land on her melted away before even making contact.
Of course: love thaws. As she fought the misery of her condition, Queen Elsa could only feel love for her sister who stayed by her side come rain or shine. She shouldn't be stuck inside, caring for an enchantress who couldn't keep a hold on her powers the minute some germ or virus actually got passed her defences. She tried to say as much, but all that left her dry throat was a hoarse mutter.
"I don't think I've ever seen you actually ill before." Anna chuckled. She pulled Elsa up towards a cup of water. Turquoise eyes briefly gazed around in wonder before focussing once more on her face. "Does it always snow like this? Here, drink."
Glad for the sweet beverage that helped cool her insides, the blonde finally managed to croak an answer.
"It's only been a couple of times..." A pause as she leaned back into her pillows, foggy mind trying to explain in words. "I think... I think it's how mama and papa found out. About my powers..."
It took Anna a moment to puzzle out. "When you were a baby?"
Elsa gave a small nod and then wished she hadn't. Her mind was swimming. How long was it going to take before that remedy started working? She tried to raise her right arm and then remembered why she was in this state to begin with.
"Owe. My arm hurts."
"Oh! Sorry." The princess shifted from her place upon the bed, giving Elsa's arm more room. The cast around it had originally been big and cumbersome, but after a few days of fighting it just to get dressed, Elsa had decided to make some alterations. The doctor hadn't been keen at first when he had found out, but once he got a good look at it, he'd marvelled at the efficiency and sturdiness of it. It certainly had helped having an icy cast full of holes moulded to the shape of her arm. However the effort and concentration required to fashion the stiffened bandages had taken its toll on the Queen's already reduced health.
"It's alright..." Elsa muttered, patting Anna's arm with her good hand. She felt so tired. The medication must be kicking in. Already she could see a reduction in the number of white dots floating around the room.
"Elsa..." There was a plea in Anna's voice, a tone of worry that Elsa couldn't fathom. The Queen glanced up at the Princess, waiting for her to elaborate, fighting the heaviness in her eyelids. The redhead must have seen this. "Never mind," she waved her hand, regaining some of her more usual cheerfulness. "It can wait."
With a sigh, Elsa made a mental note to find out whatever it was that was bothering her later. But for now... Sleep.
Once she had established that Elsa was well and truly asleep, Anna tiptoed out of her sister's room as carefully and quietly as she could.
Kristoff gazed out the window, his blond bangs barely concealing his worried frown. Down in the castle's courtyard he could see Sven and Olaf playing, the reindeer playfully chasing the snowman's flurry as Elsa's creation hopped over piles of autumn leaves. What trees he could see were now completely bare. It wouldn't be long before winter began to make itself felt in Arendelle, in fact...
Noticing a speck of white that he couldn't attribute to Olaf's flurry, the ice master turned his gaze skyward. Unmistakeably, more flecks were tumbling down from the heavens, grey clouds tumbling in above.
"The Queen..?" He wondered, not realising that he had spoken out loud.
"Ah..." A male voice said, startling the blond. "I did feel a frosty nip to the air this morning."
"Kai! Mother of all trolls, don't startle me like that." Gripping his chest, the younger man swept back his fringe as he gazed upon the manservant that had appeared behind him.
"I apologize." With a good humoured grin, Kai bowed. "You are awaiting her highness Princess Anna, I presume?"
Rolling his eyes at hearing someone as feisty as Anna referred to as highness, Kristoff nevertheless nodded.
"Yeah, she said she wanted to talk about her sister." His voice taking on a lower tone, he added, "She seemed worried."
Stepping next to him the better to glance at the ice falling from the sky, the balding manservant nodded in turn.
"Yes. It is understandable, after..."
"Yes." Kai didn't need to elaborate. Kristoff had been there, after all.
The two men stood in silence, the reindeer and snowman below having finally noticed the change in the weather long enough to gaze up and wave in their own way at their two observers. Timidly, Kristoff waved back, feeling courage from the warmth he felt in his heart at seeing his reindeer friend gaze up at him with those eyes that never lie. Anna needed him. Kristoff was going to be her rock.
"How is she?" He finally asked, not even looking at the manservant as he steeled himself for the possible answer. From what Anna had been saying this past couple of weeks, Elsa could be anything from fan-dabby-dozy to at death's door. Realising that his question could be confusing, he thought to add more. "Queen Elsa, I mean."
Clearly realising the likely nature of Kristoff's question, Kai did not beat about the bush.
"Her majesty's arm is healing well. The surgeon said that the break was clean and was impressed at how little swelling there had been. In another two weeks or so, the Queen should be ready for physical therapy." A pause, heavy as the manservant sighed. "Gerda and I are more worried about the fever her royal highness is now suffering from. She..."
Noticing Kai's hesitation, Kristoff turned to look at him questioningly. The older man was rubbing the bridge of his wide nose, eyes looking away. Recognising the tic as one he shared with the man, the outdoorsman remained silent, careful to keep his face neutral. If he was right, Kai was away to share some sensitive information. Finally the manservant relented, turning his face away as he spoke.
"Queen Elsa has never been very safe to be around while that ill."
Those words and the slump in Kai's shoulders sent a shiver down Kristoff's spine. Visions of Anna, hair white and face pale as she fought a frozen heart, plagued him. His face flushed as shame ate away at his gut. Anna wasn't the one who was bedridden. If untreated, he knew from past experience that a fever could be devastating. Fuzzy distant memories, of a family he couldn't quite recall, helped him picture Elsa, her cheeks flushed, her skin white and eyes hazy. His expression darkened and complexion paled as he felt lead in his stomach. These were emotions he hadn't revisited since he had been a young boy, a time before he could remember. He didn't want to. Tightening his fists, he forced himself to let go, to cleanse his mind of it all, and make a blank slate.
When finally he felt like himself again, Kai was looking at him curiously. Revisiting the last exchange in their conversation in his mind, Kristoff spoke plainly.
"That... must suck."
And he meant it.
Smiling warmly, Kai clapped the young man on the shoulder.
"Fortunately, her majesty isn't prone to falling ill." A near cheeky grin even graced the servant's features. "The cold never does bother her."
The ice master couldn't help but let loose a chuckle. With staff like Kai caring for them, no wonder Anna and Elsa both had hearts of gold. Thinking of which...
"Kristoff! Kai!" Waving at the pair, the red haired princess jogged down the corridor to the landing they were standing on, her plaits trailing behind her. As she scooted to a halt near them, Kristoff couldn't help but feel relieved at the distinct lack of white in his girlfriend's hair, selfish as it was. He greeted her with a quick hug, before stepping back and asking the obvious.
"I take it you wanted to speak to both of us, then?"
Anna gave a sharp nod.
"Yes. Kai, you're good with the horses. Kristoff, I trust your judgement." Her eyes added an unspoken, 'and I really need your support right now'. He wanted to kiss her. Instead he listened on. "Elsa's still recovering. She's a bit too out of it to talk to about this just now but..."
Crossing her arms before her, the princess royal of Arendelle looked at the two men with all her worry and concern etched upon her face.
"Do you think Elsa should ride on horseback again?"
"Why shouldn't she?" Kristoff blurted out, not even thinking about his answer. As he realised how abrupt he'd been, he scratched his head in embarrassment. "I mean so long as she wants to, you know..."
"Hmm..." Kai's response was more thoughtful. "She might not want to after a fall like that. If her majesty is ever to ride again, your highness, I would suggest that the sooner she gets on horse again, the better. The trauma and fear from that one experience alone... It has a tendency to grow over time. What confidence the Queen has with regards to riding could be difficult to rebuild."
"Which is why I am asking you this: do you think she should?" Putting the accent on the last word, making it clear that it wasn't just about her sister's wishes, made the two realise exactly what it was that Princess Anna was asking of them. "Is the risk worth it?"
Stunned, the manservant and ice harvester thought hard. Whatever answer they came up with, they knew that the young woman before them was going to take it to heart.
The snow was dancing.
The snow was dancing and she was laughing, chimes playing out a delightful tune. She twirled, her blonde hair, no longer braided for some bizarre reason, was flying around her face as the snow was flying around her. She didn't care for the oddness of it all, enjoying the magic of the moment, lost in the euphoria of music and joy. Little white fairies appeared, joining the flakes in their swirls, and that is when Elsa knew for certain that this was a dream. It was a nice dream; she hadn't enjoyed one so nice since her last riding lesson.
Watching the sprites flutter kept her dreaming self happily occupied for what seemed to be ages, their cute mannerisms and wild antics eliciting childish giggles from the Queen. Ah, yes, this was most definitely a fever dream. It would explain why the little white fairies were now riding floating ice dragons that pranced around, their lace-like wings fluttering in time with the crystalline chimes. She gazed around the circle of which she was the centre, a blanket of snow that sparkled with a rainbow of colours, its edges rising and falling like a tide. Her light blue nightdress echoed the colour of the sky, pale and full with diffused light.
It was only then that she noticed the silhouettes moving around outside the circle of snow and fae. The moved like shadows, barely perceptible, it was a show with the outline of horses, some big, some small, some even with long thin horns on their foreheads. There appeared to be two circles of them, going in opposite directions, shades overlapping one another as they cantered and trotted. They shimmered darkly, red, purples and black hues giving them a menacing air.
She felt a small chill in her breast, a hint of fear as she remembered falling off of Pet, Anna's horse, but she shook it off. There had been some bad dreams since the fall, despite her determination not to let the incident deter her. The later pain, the shock, and realisation that she could have suffered much, much worse than a broken arm and sore head; it had all been enough to feed the dark and scared part of her psyche. She wasn't going to let it affect the niceness of this dream now though. She wanted to be happy and Anna wanted her to be too. Queen Elsa of Arendelle, ever since the events following her coronation, was going to be master of her own destiny.
And if it meant taking control of her own dreams, then she would.
With a wave of her hands, her dream-arm being thankfully unrestrained and unhurt, she summoned her magic. Fingers gliding around her as she joined in the dance, she echoed the moves of the sprites and flakes, her palms rising and falling with the beat of miniature ice-wings. A clicking noise could now be heard as her magic started to form a shape, dancing in the circle with her, rising slowly from the ground. It wasn't until it reached her shoulder height that she started refining her magic, giving the shape definition. It glowed with an icy blue light, causing the shadowy nightmares around them to shrink back. Elsa smiled warmly as her creation began to take on solid form. By the time she had finished, fingers reaching up to the heavens as she swivelled into a crouch, a magnificent deer made of snow stood before her.
The menacing shades had completely vanished. The fairies and the miniature dragons had taken their leave. Even the dancing flakes of snow and chimes had stilled as warm blue eyes met soft golden ice ones. The reindeer she had created was exactly as she remembered the deer from the time of her fall. The only differences were in hue: where the original had been fawn, this one had a blue tinge to the snow that made its body. Where the reindeer had had black hooves, Elsa's had cerise ice ones. Even the antlers had the slight translucent sheen of frozen water, but it was so very clearly alive. As eyes full of curious joy and humour stared back at her, Elsa chuckled.
"Nice to meet you," she said. She stretched out her hand, fingers fluttering against the softness of the doe's cheek. "My name is Elsa."
In response, the reindeer of snow gently pushed forward, nuzzling past Elsa's hand till it pushed her down into the snow and had her muzzle pressed against her nose. The blonde held her breath. The deer waited a moment. Just as Elsa thought it was going to retreat, an icy tongue came out and licked her face. Surprised, she yelped, eyes closing only to reopen to a change of scenery. The doe was still there, inches away from her face, but now she was in her room, instead of some fairyland dreamscape. Her arm was back in a cast, but it seemed logical enough. She remembered having dreams with more brutal, less sensible scene changes in the past.
The doe, she was going to have to think of a name for it, was nudging her repeatedly now. Patting at its muzzle in an effort to rise from her mattress, Elsa muttered.
"Alright, alright, I'm getting up."
After gingerly sitting up and swinging her legs to the side of the bed, the young woman watched as the creation of snow hopped about near the door before coming back to her side.
"Laila?" She tried, before shaking her head. No, that wasn't a good name for the reindeer. Even her creation shook its antlers at the suggestion. A different thought came to mind, as Elsa remembered the classes during which she most envied her sister her lessons outside. "What about Neva?"
Seeing it reach out to lick her nose once more, Elsa put up her hand as an offering instead. Yes, Neva would do. At least like this the Latin classes wouldn't be entirely for nought, even if it was only to name a snow reindeer in a dream. She sighed.
Standing up, it wasn't long before Neva used her antlers to nudge Elsa towards her shoulders. It didn't take the Queen long to get the hint. After briefly opening the door to her room, she gingerly clambered on to the reindeer's soft, snowy back, held on as best she could to Neva's neck, and then let her loose.
Elsa might never ride on the back of Anna's horse again, but riding on a beautiful snowy reindeer in her dreams? Sure, this should be fun.
As could be expected, Kai would have no part in saying what he thought the Queen should or should not do. He had not become one of the royal family's most trusted and stalwart servants by second guessing every decision that needed to be made... Even if there were a few times that he might have wished he could have. He shook his head sadly as he glanced into the princess's anxious eyes.
"I'm sorry Princess Anna, but it is not my place to say." Bowing, he further added, a reassurance as to his loyalty, "even be it at your behest."
Whatever thoughts he may have had on the subject were well hidden behind his mask of professionalism. It was clear that the question troubled him though. He would probably have bid Anna farewell otherwise.
Kristoff, on the other hand, was struggling to put words to the emotions that the question had stirred in him. Should Elsa be allowed to ride again? What kind of question was that? Oh, he knew full well why Anna would ask that. After a thirteen year separation, why wouldn't she become overly protective of the sister she had just reconnected with? Kristoff himself knew how worried he felt whenever Anna and Elsa seemed to be arguing... Watching one's love interest turn into a frozen statue tended to do that. But he held back. He didn't let his anxiety interfere, preferring instead to trust in Anna, in Elsa, as he had always trusted in Sven when...
Thinking of his reindeer friend, the iceman had an epiphany. Taking his girlfriend's hand, he waited for her to turn and face him. Speaking gently, he led her and Kai gently to the stairs leading down to the courtyard.
"I think we need to consult Sven on this."
It was all he needed to say really. The spark of hope in Anna's teal blue eyes, the small hesitant squeeze she gave his hand... it helped him to not mind so much that his usually talkative princess was keeping a tight hold on her tongue in anticipation. Grabbing a cloak from near the door leading to the courtyard, he let her wrap it around her shoulders before going outside. His own fur-fleece kept him warm enough, and Kai easily found a servant-appropriate coat nearby. As they stepped outside, he was glad to find that despite the snow falling from the sky and slowly taking hold on the ground, it wasn't as cold as he feared it might be.
"Hey Sven, come here!" Kristoff called out. For a short moment he feared that his friend might not comply without the sweet bait of a nice carrot, his current game with Olaf appearing to be thoroughly engrossing. He needn't have, and it was with a warm chuckle that he greeted the reindeer's quick embrace. "Good boy!"
After giving his lifelong companion a good scratch behind the ear and antlers, he turned to face Anna. With a sweeping gesture, he gave her his invitation.
"Ask away."
It was easy to ignore Kai's presence, the servant having effortlessly stepped back to allow Princess Anna full reign of the conversation. For this Kristoff was glad. It was hard enough interpreting his pal's thoughts without having to worry about other people judging him for his Sven-voice.
"Hmm..." Hesitantly, Anna stepped forward, eyes focussed on Sven's large brown ones. It took her a few stuttering moments to get going, the oddness of talking to a reindeer about a matter so dear to her heart clearly having its effect on her. Then she had a deep breath, composed herself, and asked, her face now showing the warmth of a trusting friend asking another for advice. "Sven, do you think it is safe for Elsa to ride again?"
"I don't see why not!" Kristoff translated as the reindeer rolled its eyes and grinned, large nostrils flickering.
"But..." Anna began, her fear and worry suddenly pooling forth as questions without answers. Her eyes grew teary. Kristoff had a hard time keeping his focus on Sven's reaction. "What if she falls again? What if she gets hurt worse? How could I... How could I let the Queen of Arendelle, my sister, take such a risk again?" In a whisper she added, "what if it's my fault? I... I don't want her hurt. I... I can't..."
With a groan, Anna cupped her face in her hands, freckled cheeks disappearing beneath her ginger fringe.
"I never should have asked her to ride in the first place."
"Nonsense!" Kristoff replied, momentarily forgetting to put on his reindeer voice, but glad to find his feelings echoed in Sven's stomp of his feet and alert, no nonsense stance. Resuming his role of interpreter, he continued on. "You shouldn't regret asking your sister to try out something you enjoy. Besides, riding's quite alright if you don't put on the pounds..."
Catching the playful glance from his friend and the words that just spilt forth from his mouth, the blonde man let out an insulted "Hey!"
The embarrassing blush on his cheeks lessened slightly as he heard Anna hold back a small giggle. Why was it that Sven was always better at talking than he was? With a resigned smile, he once again followed the reindeer's lead.
"Asking Elsa to not ride alongside you, it would be like refusing to share a carrot..."
"Or not letting her build a snowman with you!" A small voice piped in.
Startled by Olaf's impromptu addition to the conversation, the silly humans that they were not noticing him waddling over towards them to see why Sven had abandoned their game, Kristoff had to be nudged before the reindeer could go on.
"Riding's like building a new relationship, a friendship if you will." Leaning heavily on Kristoff's shoulder, Sven happily ruffled his human friend's hair. "It takes a lot of trust and courage."
"You got that right, buddy!" Kristoff finally quipped in his own voice, ruffling the fur on Sven's forehead in turn. He grinned at Anna, his own feelings suddenly finding words thanks to his friend's wisdom. "Besides, isn't that what you want to help Elsa build up more of? I don't think you could have suggested anything better, eh Sven?"
The reindeer's cheerful bray was sufficient reply. The two stood before the Princess, awaiting her reaction. Kristoff let years of having trolls for company keep his self-consciousness at bay. It was brimming with confidence that he let Anna take in his reply.
It occurred to Anna, as she lifted her eyes from behind her fingers, that this was probably one of the very rare moments where Kristoff had looked so princely. She had always known him to be a good man, ever since he'd refrained from making a comment at her insensitive reaction to his ice-business in the mid of a freak blizzard. The fact that he had proven it ten times over within mere days of that first meeting didn't hurt either. Yet now, as he stood there, his head held high and arms held confidently across his torso... She was reminded of her father's more kingly moments, when the few guests she had seen him greet had bowed with difference for more than just his rank. She was reminded of Elsa, as she thawed the fjord, arms held high in majesty. She was reminded of how she had never felt her chest flutter quite so in the company of monstrous prince who now seemed so common, so worthless. His words had hit the mark, and Anna loved him all the more for it.
"I..." Wiping tears from her reddened cheeks, the Princess gave Sven and Kristoff a small smile. She felt so silly and grateful. "Thank you. Both of you... You too, Olaf." She chuckled as the live person of snow barrelled into her legs with the warmest equivalent of a hug a walking flurry could give. How could she let fear affect her perception of her sister so, after all they'd been through?
"I guess it was a stupid question after all." Curtseying to the manservant who'd watched the conversation with the glimmer of a smile rising in his eyes, she offered him her apologies. "I'm sorry for putting you in such an awkward position Kai. I do hope you'll continue helping us out in future riding lessons."
"Your highness," with a mere bow, Kai acknowledged his Princess's kindness. The warmth of the smile he gave her after was full of pride and affection.
It was only then that the group gathered in the courtyard heard the female voice calling out. It took a moment for them to realise that it was Gerda's. The chief housemaid seemed to be calling out to royalty, your majesties following one another. Puzzled, Anna led the communal movement of looking towards the nearest entrance to the castle proper, the door they had left open in coming out to the snowy courtyard. A blur of white and blue appeared; clicking stomps thundering passed them as quickly as it had appeared. Gerda's voice grew louder, worry and concern making themselves felt in her tone.
The group was already staring at the apparition as it dashed to the arch leading to the castle's main gate. It took a moment longer for them to register what it was that they had seen. Olaf was the only one who seemed to take it in his stride, twig arm raised as he wished the person who'd just passed them a nice ride.
"With all due reverence, your highness... It seems that her majesty has decided not to wait for the next lesson."
Startled out of her stupor by Kai's remark, Anna's brain processed the vision of her sister, hair wild and loose, riding a deer of snow and ice in her nightwear, at lightning speed. With steely resolve and great urgency, she turned upon her boyfriend who was having a hard time holding on to an alert reindeer of less frosty constitution.
"Kristoff, we need to go after her!"
To be continued...
Author's note: Write Elsa suffering from fever. Wake up next morning with "fever spot" (cold sore). Thanks, Karma!
Sorry for the long wait, this chapter took two attempts to get right, my first draft having gone wildly off-topic. Many thanks to my sister, Foxy-the-sly for her, as always, much appreciated input and betaing. Thank you for reading!