Doors Without Knobs

The world was spinning and Natsuki couldn't make heads or tails of where she was. She was sitting in a leather chair surrounded by books, a study from the looks of it. Everything around her looked ancient; books turning to dust on their shelves, wooden bookcases covered in cobwebs, even the chair she sat in was cracked and weathered. This may have been someone's study years ago but time had reduced it to a museum piece. When her vision finally settled down she noticed that she was not alone, a brown-haired, red-eyed man was sitting in another chair directly opposite her and was looking at her expectantly. "Hello. You must be Ms. Kruger. My daughter has told me so much about you."

"Your daughter?" Natsuki had no idea where she was or who she was talking to but as she looked at the man she noticed he looked familiar. He looked very similar to the woman in the house, Shizuru. "You mean Shizuru?"

"Yes." He smiled at her and she immediately recognized the resemblance. He was definitely her father, but she had told her he was dead. Was she lying? "No, she wasn't lying to you. I am dead and you're dreaming this talk." Oh no, am I dead too? "No, like I said you're just dreaming."

"Why are you here?"

He smiled gently at her. "I'm here to help you." He sat forward and steepled his hands, nearly resting his chin on the tips of his fingers. "What do you want, Natsuki?"

The question caught Natsuki off guard. Here, of all places, she hadn't expected to be asked what she wanted. There was only one thing she could think of that she wanted right now. "I want out of this place."

His smile didn't fade, if anything it grew in intensity as if she had amused him somehow. "Are you sure that's what you want? Well if that's all you want then you'll have to heal the land." Heal the land? What the hell does he mean? I'm not a farmer. "It's nothing like that, Ms. Kruger."

"Then what is it like? Be more specific."

A nearby grandfather clock rang out and his smile faded. "I'm sorry, but we're out of time. Remember, heal the land." The man stood and walked out of the room.

"Wait." She called after him but as soon as the door closed the lights went out and she was surrounded by darkness.

-ROSE-

Natsuki sat up in the bed she had been lying in, going from deep sleep to fully awake in a matter of seconds. She was disoriented and her head hurt from the dream she remembered so vividly. Heal the land? What did he mean by that? She rubbed her temples to ease the pain and it was starting to work when the door opened and she looked over to see Shizuru walking through and into the room. She didn't say anything, she just sat down on the chair that was still sitting by the bed with her head down.

They sat in silence for some time, neither knowing what to say. Finally it was Shizuru who broke it. "Do you feel alright?"

Natsuki didn't respond. She was still trying to piece everything together and didn't know where to start. Her being trapped in this house, the fog and the black soil and the strange dream were spinning around her head. What did he mean? How am I supposed to heal the land? While she laid in that bed and tried to puzzle it out, Shizuru sat beside the bed quietly with her eyes closed. "Ms. Kruger?"

"You can't leave either, can you?" Natsuki didn't look at Shizuru when she spoke, things were still tense between them. "You're stuck here, just like I am." Shizuru looked up and their eyes met. In them she saw the loneliness that Shizuru had lived with and she knew that she was right. She's as much a prisoner here as I am.

"I'm very sorry I brought you into this, Ms. Kruger." Shizuru sheepishly looked away. "I only thought to save your life but now I've gone and endangered it further. I'm so sorry."

Natsuki reached out and gently touched her shoulder. A calming gesture that seemed to have the desired effect. "It's okay. I don't blame you." A look passed through Shizuru's eyes, relief. She had been worried that Natsuki would lash out at her, would attack her if she thought it would get her out of the manor. To hear that she forgave her was more than she could have hoped for. She wanted Natsuki and her to be friends.

Natsuki threw her legs over the side of the bed and sat up, gritting her teeth against the pain in her stomach. She bore it and stood up, stretching her arms and back that were aching from atrophy. Natsuki was scantily clad in a white cotton slip that Shizuru had been kind enough to let her wear. It wasn't sheer but Shizuru could see enough that a blush slowly crept up her neck and to her cheeks. Natsuki stretched her toned, lithe body and Shizuru had to look away, turning her gaze to anything in the room other than the alluring woman before her. Her voice was unsure when she spoke, so very unlike her. "Would you care to have breakfast with me, since you're up and about."

Natsuki shrugged. "Sure, just let me get dressed."

Shizuru kindly offered her a dress to wear, a simple, green silk affair that brought out the color of her eyes, and she changed into it enjoying the feeling of the fabric. Shizuru had gone down to start cooking already leaving Natsuki to find her way down to the kitchen. Outside of the room she had been sleeping in she found a hallway with stairs at one end that led down to a foyer. From there she headed right through a dining room before she found herself in the kitchen where Shizuru was putting the finishing touches on their breakfast, griddle cakes with syrup and blueberries.

As soon as she caught sight of Natsuki, Shizuru shooed her out to the dining room where Natsuki sat down in an elegant chair and waited for Shizuru to bring out their breakfast. When she did it was with the flair of a skilled hostess. When Natsuki caught the smell of the cakes with the fresh blueberries she abandoned all pretenses and dove in. By the time Shizuru got around the table to sit across from her she had already finished half of her plate.

Shizuru fixed her with a weak smile, but a smile nonetheless. "You must have been hungry."

Natsuki looked up from the plate. "These are amazing, Shizuru."

Shizuru looked away, the smile on her face grew yet still seemed to be set in a face of sadness. "You're too kind, Ms. Kruger." They ate together quietly, a comfortable silence that neither of them lamented. "It occurs to me, Ms. Kruger, that I don't know anything about you. Tell me about yourself."

Natsuki shrugged and sat back in her chair. "What do you want to know?"

"Something, anything. How about your family?"

"There's not much to talk about there. My father died in the war, though I didn't see him much before that, and my mom..." Natsuki's face grew pensive and sad. "I guess I'll never see her again."

"Why was your father never around? Did something happen to him?"

Natsuki sighed, she didn't really want to talk about it but Shizuru had answered all of her questions so it would have been rude of her to say nothing. She grit her teeth and dredged the memories up again. "My father was a drunk and a womanizer. When my mother found out she was furious, she kicked him out and the next time I saw him he was wearing Confederate colors in his coffin." Natsuki closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself. "At first mom was sad but after a while she got over him."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up a bad memory."

Natsuki shook her head. "Don't worry about it. It's nothing." She had to admit, talking about it with Shizuru somehow made her feel better about the whole thing. She had kept it buried for so long that speaking of it felt like a small weight had been lifted from her, not a large enough weight to counter the fact that she was stuck in a mysterious manor with an even more mysterious woman but it lightened her somewhat.

"Would you care to take a walk with me around the manor? I would be happy to show you around."

Natsuki couldn't think of a reason not to, after realizing that Shizuru was a prisoner in this place as well she held no animosity towards her and it would make sense to find out as much about their prison as she could. "Sure."

There was no more conversation for the rest of breakfast. After they were finished eating, Shizuru cleared the table, taking the dishes back to the kitchen with her, leaving Natsuki alone in the dining room. As Natsuki lay back in her chair, feeling more comfortable with a full stomach, she heard a sound that sent chills down her spine. A low growl coming from right behind her. She froze, paralyzed by fear at the mysterious sound and by the feeling of dread that now filled her every pore.

She heard a sniffing sound and concluded that whatever it was was now trying to catch her scent. She could feel it, a cold feeling just over her right shoulder. The growling and sniffling sound filled her ears driving her mad. She wanted to run, to knock the chair back and run screaming into the manor and an unknown and uncertain doom. She wanted to face it, to let it tear her limb from limb and end this madness.

The door to the kitchen opened and the feeling passed, the madness fled and Natsuki was left sitting in the chair still shivering from the memory of the cold feeling. "Are you alright, Ms. Kruger?"

She shook it off and stood a little shakily. Shizuru was looking at her with a worried look as she crossed the room. Natsuki regained her composure and stood. "I'm fine." She was still shaken from her encounter but she brushed it off and followed Shizuru out of the room. Shizuru led her into the foyer with it's immaculate staircases that spiraled up into the second floor, a gorgeous chandelier hung from the ceiling and halfway down to the floor. Shizuru led her down the other first floor hallway into the east wing.

"This is the East Wing, where the servants and workers were quartered. Back when this was a farm this was the busiest place in the house and I always came down here to help with the children." Shizuru stopped at one of the doors. "This is where the children slept." She opened the door and Natsuki saw, what must have once been, a cute children's room complete with colored wallpaper and several beds but time had worn most of it away. Now the room smelled of rot and the only color left on the walls was grey. "I remember one in particular. Her name was Isabel and we used to stay up late at night and talk."

"What would you talk about?"

"She talked a lot about boys. She was fourteen and that's where her mind was." Shizuru looked wistfully into the room. "She left with her family when my father started having money troubles. He couldn't afford to pay them anymore."

"Before the manor became..."

Shizuru closed the door. "Moving on." Shizuru led Natsuki back out into the foyer. "Of course the dining room and kitchen are in the west wing." Shizuru led Natsuki up the stairs and to the second floor. The second floor was arranged into a single hallway stretching from the east to the west wing. The room she had slept in was close to the staircase. "This is my room." Shizuru walked passed the door, directly across the hall from where Natsuki was staying. The last door at the end of the hallway had no doorknob. Shizuru ignored it and turned away.

"What is that room?"

Natsuki pointed towards the door with no knob. Shizuru looked back at it, her eyes narrowed and she shook her head. "It's nothing. Don't ask about that."

Suspicious. Shizuru led Natsuki down to the first floor and behind the stairs to a small hallway that led to a back door. Natsuki expected the door to be locked, just like the front door, but the door responded to Shizuru's touch and slid open. Natsuki stepped out into a courtyard surrounded by stone walls. Beyond the walls stirred the black fog that she had found her way through to get to the manor. She wondered if she could scale the walls to leave but filed the idea away under 'Suicidal' and 'Depressing'.

"This is the garden." The area inside the courtyard was set up very much like a garden; a gravel path wound it's way around the area in a long figure 8, fountains and statuary were situated around the area and two benches sat on either end of the figure 8. Unfortunately, just like the area around the manor, the soil was pitch black and felt like walking on rocks. Everything was bleak and grey, nothing now lived in the garden. "At least it used to be a garden."

Natsuki strode out into the garden, the black soil crunching beneath her feet as she walked. The garden held a deep sadness, like a black well endless in it's depth, but something else lingered beneath it, a diamond in the rough. She picked her way through the bleak garden until something caught her eye. A spot of color in the ash grey of the gardens. She approached the far wall where she first spotted the color and found something that amazed her, so much so that she forgot how to breathe for a moment and merely stared at it.

From out of the black soil grew a single, red rose.

The rose stooddefiant, alone save for the dirt that can't possibly sustain it. It is red, the same shade as Shizuru's eyes and Natsuki was entranced by the sight of it. She didn't notice Shizuru walk up, didn't notice her place a hand on her shoulder, didn't hear her say her name. This one defiant flower, she felt it's importance but couldn't say why.

"That's the last rose." Shizuru's voice was low as if she was lamenting the fate of this defiant warrior. "This garden used to be full of roses, one for every color of the rainbow. I used to love coming here but now everything feels different, like the life has been sucked away from this place."

Heal the land...

"I don't understand." A bewildered look crossed Shizuru's face. "I don't understand what I'm supposed to do. Heal the land? I don't get it." Her fists were balled, her arms taut, her lips pursed. She couldn't wrap her mind around what was happening and she was getting frustrated. Shizuru noticed this and put her arms around her. This had the effect of calming Natsuki, who relaxed into her hold.

Neither spoke immediately. Instead they both relished the simplicity of the embrace; Natsuki pushed the thoughts of her dream from her mind and focused on the warmth that enveloped her, Shizuru enjoyed the company of the first person she had seen in years. She ran a hand through Natsuki's dark hair, noticing the tinges of blue in it, admiring the length of it and realizing that it needed to be washed. Natsuki closed her eyes, her breathing evened and she realized it was because of Shizuru. Being in Shizuru's arms felt right.

"You need a bath."

"Hmm?" Natsuki tried to run a hand through her hair but couldn't get it through the knots. "Maybe you're right."

"I'd be happy to draw one for you." Shizuru looked sheepish. "I could even brush your hair if you like."

"That sounds lovely."

Natsuki's eyes stayed with the last rose, even when Shizuru walked away, even when she came back for her and tugged at her arm. Something about that flower seemed important to her and she resolved to learn more about it. What the hell, I've got the time.

Shizuru led Natsuki back through the garden and into the house proper. Natsuki followed her up to Shizuru's room where she left her. "I'll come get you when your bath is ready. Until then you can look for something to change into."

Shizuru walked out leaving Natsuki alone in her bedroom. Natsuki looked around her and marveled at her belongings; her bed was a magnificent four-poster complete with hanging curtains and luxurious silk sheets, every piece of furniture was made of a dark and elegant mahogany from the dresser and vanity to the armoire and bedside table, inside the armoire were several elegant dresses and inside the drawers of the dresser was more elegant clothing and above all she noticed the elegant oil painting of Shizuru that hung above her bed. The painting was set in a simple wooden frame and was of a young Shizuru, she sat in an armchair with her legs folders and her arms clasped in her lap, her gorgeous chestnut hair fell down her shoulders, she wore a frilly red dress that brought out the color of her burgundy eyes which were looking straight at the painter. If she hadn't known any better, she could swear they were looking at her.

Natsuki sat down on Shizuru's bed and felt the material in her hand. She loved the texture and wondered just how it would feel to sleep in that bed. She marveled at how quiet the room was, being on the second floor and furthest from the outer walls hardly any of sound penetrated to the room. Her ears rang slightly as she fell back onto the bed, suddenly tired.

"Natsuki?"

Shizuru walked in and found Natsuki lying on her bed. Natsuki shot up as soon as she heard her name. She hopped off the bed and stood stock still. "I wasn't doing anything."

Shizuru gave her an amused expression. "Did you find something to wear, yet?"

"Oh, I haven't looked yet."

Shizuru's eyes studied Natsuki, sizing her up. "Hmm? I'll bet..." Shizuru walked to her dresser and dug through the drawers until she produced an elegant, white nightgown of silk. "You're not much smaller than me, this should fit you." She held it up to Natsuki, measuring it with her eyes. Natsuki felt the fabric and it brought a smile to her face. "Come, the bath is hot but it won't stay that way."

Natsuki followed Shizuru down the hallway and to the door just before the last, the door with no knob at the end of the hallway. The door drew her attention, a dark energy seemed to flow from out of it and the hallway felt physically colder as she neared it. There was something wrong with that door and Natsuki knew it. She shook it off and followed Shizuru into what turned out to be a bathroom; shelves lined the walls filled with linens and soaps, lovely curtains framed the only window which showed a bleak view of the dead garden and the black fog beyond and a bronze bathtub that took up the better part of the room. It was easily big enough for two people to fit in and was currently full of hot water.

Shizuru handed Natsuki a towel and the nightgown. "If you need anything I'll be in my room." Shizuru closed the door behind her as she walked out and left Natsuki alone in the room. She stripped out of her clothes and slid into the bathtub, sighing when the hot water made contact with her flesh. She lay down and closed her eyes. The tub truly was exquisite.

She found a bar of soap nearby and lathered up until she felt clean then she turned to her hair. She ran the hot water through her long hair, running her fingers through it to clean the grime away. She had found her hair to be such a nuisance while she was enlisted but feeling it now, clean and smooth as satin, it brought a smile to her face.

After getting clean she stayed in the bathtub and for a few precious moments was able to forget the eeriness of her surroundings. She relaxed in the tub until the water turned cold, nearly a half an hour, then she stood and toweled herself off. When she slipped into the nightgown it felt to her like being wrapped in a cloud.

Shizuru's reaction to seeing her in it made her feel even better. "Oh, that looks amazing on you. I knew it would." A smile creased Natsuki's face. Shizuru took her hand and nearly drug her to a seat in front of her vanity. She lifted an old comb from the vanity and started brushing out Natsuki's long hair. She ran the brush in long strokes that occassionally pulled at Natsuki's scalp in a way that made her wince but she bore it. "You have beautiful hair."

"Thanks."

She continued her brush strokes until she counted one hundred off in her head, then moved on to the next area of her hair. It took her ten minutes but after she was done Natsuki noticed the difference in the volume and sheen of her hair. The way it settled on her shoulders felt amazing to her and she had never felt more like a woman. "You look beautiful."

She felt beautiful. "My mom used to do my hair like that. She hated that I hid my hair but it always got in my way when I was working. I would tie it up to help work the fields and when I got back into the house she would scold me about it. She thought I was too much of a tomboy. About once a week she would brush out my hair, I guess she was trying to remind me that I'm a woman."

"So I remind you of your mother?"

"She never made me feel like a woman," through the mirror Natsuki was able to look Shizuru in the eyes, "not like you do."

Their eyes met through the mirror and Natsuki could see a tear starting to form on the edge of Shizuru's eye. She blinked it away but Natsuki had caught it. Natsuki closed her eyes, Shizuru wrapped her arms around Natsuki's neck. There was no tension between them. Natsuki was surprised at how easy everything was, how easily she opened up to the other woman, how easy it was for her to trust her. "You don't hate me for trapping you here?"

Natsuki took Shizuru's hand that now rested on her shoulder. "I can't hate you for saving my life."

A moment passed before either of them looked away. Shizuru was the first to step away from the vanity. "It's getting late. I'll get started on dinner." Shizuru left the room and Natsuki looked at herself in the mirror. It was quite a dramatic transformation, less than a week ago she had been wearing a confederate uniform sitting in a dirty camp and now she was wearing a silk nightgown sitting in front of a vanity in a cursed manor. I can't stay here. I need to find a way out.

She knew it had something to do with that room. She stood from the vanity and peeked her head out into the hallway. It was empty, Shizuru had gone down into the kitchen to cook dinner. She walked down the hallway towards the end. She stopped in front of the door made of heavy wood with absolutely no opening to mar it's surface, as if the door had never had a knob. She stood in place and watched it for a moment, feeling a strange energy coming off of it. It reminded her of being in the black fog. She slowly, tentatively reached her hand out towards the door. As it neared she heard a whisper in her mind that gradually grew louder until she couldn't hear anything else.

Her hand was now centimeters from the door. She could nearly feel the smooth texture of the wood. Her ears were full and her head started pounding. Before she could touch it, however, a force knocked her bodily backwards. Her back hit the wall opposite the door and nearly knocked the wind out of her. She fell to a sitting position against the wall, the whispering stopped but her head was spinning. She could swear she heard a low growl standing over her, and she caught a glimpse of white fur before it disappeared.

What was that, and what the hell is going on?

-Author's Note-

Thank you for being patient. This story is important to me and I want it to be well thought out. Thank you for pointing out my mistakes in the last chapter, I have since gone back and rectified them. Also, thanks to a personal friend for the hand drawn cover of this novel which you should all give a look to. I hope to write a piece as haunting as that image.