A Kid's Mythbusters
By Snazzo
Chapter Three
"Purple Flurp will make you burp!
It's so Fluptastic it'll make you spastic!
If you want a sugar high, Flurp's the one to buy!
So kids, tell your Mom, MORE FLURP PLEASE!"
"We're back!" Libby said. "As you can see, we've found a very tall and famous skyscraper. The U.S. Bank Tower in downtown Los Angeles." The camera pulled back to reveal, sure enough, a very tall skyscraper. "You may recognize this building as the one the aliens destroyed in Independence Day."
"Oh man," Sheen said, "That's my favorite movie!"
"No it's not Sheen," Libby said gently. "Ultralord is your favorite movie."
"Oh yeah," Sheen said. "Almost forgot! Well anyway, they sure rebuilt this tower fast after that explosion! That building was totally totaled!"
"Totally," Carl agreed.
"It was a special effect, you dork!" Cindy complained. "Now get serious! We're performing live before a studio audience!"
"Well, everyone," Libby said. "We are 73 floors up, so with no further ado, here we go."
Goddard stepped up to the edge of the roof. Cindy, Sheen, and Libby all held their makeshift cats out over the edge. Carl got ready to jump. "Three! Two! One! BONZAI!!"
Goddard, Carl, and the three cats plummeted to the ground.
"Let's go see the results!" Jimmy said.
One quick elevator ride later the gang exited the lobby and looked about on the street. "Jimmy! Jimmy! Look!" Sheen pointed. "My cat DID land on its feet. Sure is flat though." Sheen's cat was flat as a pancake, with a great deal of splintered wood all about it.
"Goddard, did you land on your feet?" Jimmy asked. Goddard stood on the pavement, his tongue hanging out. He nodded and meowed. "Goddard, cats hardly ever have their tongue hanging out," Jimmy said. Goddard slurped his tongue in and meowed again.
"I don't know if Misses Biggles landed on her feet or not!" Libby said angrily. "All I can find is this!" In her hand was the head of a Hello Kitten doll, its glasses broken in half, hanging from each ear.
"I can fix that," Jimmy said hastily.
"And I can't tell if my cat landed on its feet or not!" Cindy exclaimed. "All I can tell is that there's schnitzengruber all over the place!" Cindy wiped a tear from her eye. "Alas poor Schnitzen! She gave her life for science."
"Fear not, Cindy!" Jimmy said. "I had the high speed cameras watching the falls, so we could definitely see what happened."
"Uh, guys," Sheen said, "I think we're missing a Mythbuster!"
"Oh no!" Libby cried. "Carl!!"
"Alas poor Carl," Cindy said, wiping a tear from her eye. "He gave his life for science."
"Guys, please," Jimmy said. "Would I ever risk my best friend's life?"
"YES!" Libby, Cindy, and Sheen answered immediately.
"Well, okay, a few times," Jimmy admitted. "But it was all good clean fun, and we all had a jolly good laugh. But come, let us look yonder."
On the far right was a Carl-shaped hole, with steam rising out of it. "Carl?" Jimmy yelled down. "Are you okay down there?"
"Rogerooni," Carl's voice came back.
"Now for an even more important question," Jimmy said. "Did you land on your feet?"
"Yes I landed on my feet!" Carl said. "But I also landed on this guy's head that was waiting for the subway. If I hadn't knocked him out cold, I think he'd be a tad upset."
"You're in the subway Carl?" Sheen asked.
"Oh, no. The subway is about three floors up. I'm in the sewers. Boy, it stinks!"
"Goddard! Retrieval mode!" Goddard flew down the hole and came back up with Carl. Arms with sponges and driers came out of Goddard's back and cleaned Carl up.
"Carl?!" Libby asked. "How on earth did you survive that fall? The U.S. Bank Tower is A LOT taller than the Acme building back in Retroville. Remember, when Calamitious tossed us off that? Are you wearing Jimmy's AntiGrav shoes?"
"No!" Jimmy answered. "But he IS wearing my patented Neutronic Impact Absorbing Super Sole Shoe Inserts. Now let's look at those high speed cameras. Goddard?"
Goddard's chest lifted up and they saw the street. Slowly Misses Biggles, Schnitzel, Carl, Sheen's cat, and Goddard came into view. Each one of them landed clearly on their feet. Misses Biggles bounced back up into the air, coming apart in several pieces in fluff. Schnitzel continued to flatten downwards then exploded, splattering schnitzengruber all over the place. One junk came slowly twirling over and over and splotted up on the camera lens. Sheen's cat just went flat like a pancake. Carl landed on his feet and continued down into the earth, kicking asphalt up into the air. Goddard landed on his feet, but momentum continued to squash him down so his eyes bugged out then he sprang back up and shook himself out.
"Hee-hee," Sheen laughed, "That's no explosion but it is pretty cool!"
"And there you have it," Libby said, "Falling cats DO land on their feet."
"Myth CONFIRMED," Jimmy said.
"So what's next, Jimmy?" Cindy asked.
"Explosions!" Sheen said, jumping up and down with enthusiasm.
"Soon, Sheen," Jimmy said. "First let's try getting to the moon with a Diet Coke and Mentos powered moonship."
"Aw, Jimmy," Sheen hung his head. "We've been to the moon. It's yesterday's news. Brobot lives there."
The gang all shuddered a moment.
"You may have seen the beautiful and talented Kari Byron, of the real Mythbusters do the very first Diet Coke and Mentos demonstration," Libby said. A video came up of Kari looking quite intelligent and quite daring in a lab coat, a red bra, and not a whole lot more. She dropped a Mentos mint into a bottle of Diet Coke and it immediately shot a jet of Coke high into the air. Kari laughed.
"Remember, kids, don't try this at home," Jimmy said. "Or at least do it outside."
"Yeah," Sheen agreed. "I did it in the cafeteria that one day, dropping a whole roll of Mentos into the machine." Sheen smiled at the memory.
"Yes, we all remember that Sheen," Libby said. "It's a pity we don't have video of that disaster."
"My shoes were destroyed!" Cindy complained. "I had to go buy some new ones."
"Cindy, you love buying new shoes," Libby said with a smile.
"This is true," Cindy agreed.
"Anyway, then there's a famous video on YouTube of a very elaborate show of Diet Coke and Mentos," Libby continued. The video showed two men hurrying about, dropping Mentos left and right as swinging bottles of Diet Coke spouted cola in great arcs and swaying jets, looking very much like the fountains in front of Bellagio in Las Vegas. "Check it out on YouTube," Libby added. "THEN Jamie and Adam tried to see how high they could get a bottle of Diet Coke to shoot." Another video showed of Jamie and Adam outside the workshop. Cola shot nearly to the roof. "So Jimmy, how are we going to do this? If a bottle can only get up maybe two stories, the moon I think is a lot farther off."
"Indeed it is, my dear Libby," Jimmy said. "The moon is about 380,000 miles away, or 154,280,000 stories away."
"That's a lot of stories," Carl observed.
"Indeed it is, my dear Carl," Jimmy said.
"Jimmy," Carl whispered, "You seem to be, you know, kinda talking weird."
"I'm acting, Carl," Jimmy whispered back. "I did such a lousy job on Macbeth in Space that I downloaded all the Best Actor films into Vox and watched them at super speed. I feel much more actorish now."
"Neutron," Cindy groaned "I think you're much more nerdish now. And I don't even think actorish is a word!"
"So how is this going to work then?" Libby asked again.
"Here's the plan," Jimmy said, unfolding his blueprints. "Now let's get to work."
One short sped up video sequence later (done to the tune of Benny Hill) the gang all stood around a small contraption of some sort.
"What did we just build, Jimmy?" Carl asked.
"It looks like a small contraption of some sort," Sheen said.
"He's your boyfriend, Libby," Cindy pointed out.
"This, ladies and gentlemen … and Cindy … is the Neutronic Diet Coke/Mentos Propulsion System Rocket Jet 4000!" Jimmy announced proudly.
In front of them stood a small contraption made of four metal garbage cans banded together, a lawn chair on its back on top of them, and four great legs coming out of each corner, holding the cans about three feet off the ground. Beneath the garbage cans large plastic funnels pointed down at the ground.
"Within these garbage cans sits the Diet Coke," Jimmy explained. "Just about here," Jimmy pointed at the top of a can, "is an entire roll of Mentos in each can. When I push this button the Mentos will drop into the Diet Coke, starting the reaction. The button will also open the valves at the bottom of these funnels. Rather than spouting UP into the air, the Coke will shoot DOWN at the ground. Every action equals an opposite reaction. So the rocket will lift off the ground, and next stop the moon."
"I don't know Jimmy," Cindy said. "I helped you with the ship, and looked over your plans. I just don't think we'll have enough thrust to get to the moon, or even out of earth's orbit."
"Yeah, Jim, especially with me sitting up there," Carl said. He patted his stomach. "I've got my own airbags but they do add some weight."
"Relax, guys, there is one final step."
Thanks to video the gang was suddenly in the desert outside of Vegas with their rocket. The lawn chair was taken off the top though.
"Viva Las Vegas!" Sheen sang, swinging his hips about.
"Sheen!" Cindy said menacingly. Sheen fell silent.
"Here we go," Jimmy said. He pulled out his Shrink Ray, hit SUPER SIZE and the rocket grew into the sky, so they were standing in its shadow. "That should do it! The rocket is now three times the size of the Saturn V rocket that took man to the moon. The Mentos weigh approximately 4500 pounds, and there's close to 675,000 gallons of Diet Coke in there. Houston, we are go for launch."
"But first a word from our sponsor," Libby said.
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As always, comments and reviews welcome, and thanks bunches for reading!