Here it is!

Just to remember that i don't own Glee.

December 2013, One Month Ago.

As soon as she steps inside her bedroom she drops her purse on her bed and releases her breathe. She is tired; this year has been definitely a heavy year. Of course it had nothing to do with her college's obligations. It's been a while now, but it still hurts. She is pushing all of them away, except for Puck maybe, it would be impossible to do that to him, because the whole Beth thing, besides Puck is far away now, and they only share a couple of messages, nothing else, but the rest of them? Yeah, she's been avoiding them, especially her.

Quinn is home, for winter break. Frannie and her husband are going to celebrate the Christmas with Judy and her. She should be happy about this, but not even this can take her from her state of mind.

She looks around her room and sighs audibly. Yes, she is exhausted and that's why she changes her clothes, throws herself on her bed, and falls asleep right away.

She just wakes up the next day. She gets out of bed and after she cleans herself up she goes downstairs.

Leaning on the kitchen's door frame she watches her sister and her mother talking. What makes her smile; it is something she's learned, to appreciate the small moments. You can never know… She shakes her head as she pushes those thoughts away to greet her family.

"Morning guys."

"Morning sweetie."

Judy gets close and kisses her cheek. It would be a strange scene years ago, but apparently Judy came back to her senses and has decided to be a real mother after she almost lost her daughter in that car accident.

"Morning sis." Quinn says to her sister.

"Morning sis. So, what do you want to eat? Let me guess? Bacon?"

Quinn smiles and nods, and she notices pleased that she is happy to have her family together.

It is just after Christmas and after Frannie left that Judy brings the subject up.

"Honey?"

"Yes?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure what's the matter?" Quinn puts her lap top away as her mother sits on her bed.

"I couldn't help but notice that you have yet to visit your friends. I mean, you guys were inseparable." Judy smiles at her daughter.

The blonde girl bites down on her bottom lip. "Well…" She sighs. "They're not here actually."

That is actually true.

"Santana, Kurt and well Rachel are in New York. Puck didn't come home; he is Jewish so he really doesn't celebrate Christmas."

Judy nods.

"I don't know about the rest."

"That's my point sweetie, this is not normal. I've noticed that you are not as close to them as you used to be."

"It's not like that mom." Quinn exhales heavily.

"I know what this is about Quinn. I know you well enough. I know you don't like it, but sometimes we need to open up ourselves, it's painful I know. But-"

"Mom…"

"I just have one question and I promise I won't bother you again."

Quinn nods and waits her mother's question.

"Were you still in love with him?"

This is it, she can't take it anymore. The guilt is eating at her. She needs to be honest with her mother, but doing that can only mean one thing: coming out. She starts crying, like really crying and Judy wastes no time, she gets closer and embraces her daughter.

"It's all right. I'm here."

Quinn shakes her head

"You won't be."

"What?" Judy pulls away.

"I need to tell you something. Something that I know will change everything between us."

"Quinnie."

"No, I wasn't in love with Finn. I mean I loved him so much that I would do anything for him." She sobs."But he was just my friend. But no, I didn't love him like that, not even when we were dating."

"I figured that out as you know you, Noah and Beth…" Judy trails off and Quinn smiles weakly. "But then you got back together with him again. why?"

"For stupid reasons."

"Is that why you're like this? Are you feeling guilty or something? Because you weren't honest with him? Honey you were just a teenager, you…"

"It's not that."

"What is it then?"

Her heart is speeding so fast that she is sure it will jump out of her mouth any second. She wasn't planning to come out any time before graduation. Quinn is not completely certain that her mother will kick her out or something, but she knows for sure that it will be difficult for Judy to accept the concept.

Is she gay? If someone had asked that question before she had sex with Santana, she wouldn't know how to answer; all she knew was that she was madly in love and that the person was a girl. Now though? It makes sense, but she just doesn't want to put a label on her sexuality yet. She knows she like girls, of course and above all things, and despite having been in denial for much of her high school career, she was and still is in love with Rachel Berry.

The Rachel Berry, the same one who almost married Finn Hudson. Finn the guy she dated, the guy she cheated on, the guy who broke up with her at a funeral, the guy she hated because he had Rachel, but he was also the guy that made it impossible for her to hate him as he was the most sweet and decent guy she met and now he is the guy that is dead.

"Remember my accident?" Judy takes a deep breath and nods. "At first I wasn't going to the wedding. I could not agree with that. Rachel was just too young and I knew she was doing that because she was scared. She was afraid of not achieving her goals or her dreams. But I knew she would get there, no matter how or when. I just wanted her to see that. I told her that, we argued about it a lot. Kurt was the only one who agreed with me."

Keeping tight lipped, she runs her fingers through her hair as her eyes are filled with unshed tears.

"I didn't want her to marry him." She shakes her head. "I truly believed that it was a terrible decision. But that wasn't the only reason."

Quinn sighs because Judy didn't get it yet, but of course there's something about Rachel being the center of this conversation that put her mother in alert.

They were talking about Finn right? Sure, the girl was his fiancé, or was at least. Does Quinn hate the girl for that? Is that what this is all about? It couldn't be that, Quinn said herself she never loved the boy. Maybe her daughter is feeling guilty because she was against the marriage and now that he is gone, she wishes she could have been more supportive, yes that must be it. Judy thinks as she smiles to comfort her daughter.

"Deep down and though I…" Quinn stops as the urge to cry is stronger than her. "And though I-" She tries to continue as the tears run down her face. "Though I knew it would never have happened. I wanted her to choose me."

"It's-" Judy is about to say something to comfort her daughter when she realizes what Quinn just said. "You what?"

Silence.

"Yeah… you heard right mom. I'm in love with Rachel."

"Oh…" Judy eyes widen.

"I can't stop thinking about that if it wasn't my car accident they'd married, and it was my fault. When I woke up, I got happy..." She cries hard."Because they didn't get married. I can't stop thinking about all the times I wished they broke up, that I wished she loved me the way she loved him! I didn't want him to-" By now she is crying and sobbing wildly.

"Stop!" Judy says firmly as she recovers from the initial shock. "Stop right there, it was not your fault okay? The accident, his death, none of this was your fault!"

Quinn wipes her tears and stares at her mother.

"Now, I believe we have something to discuss." The older woman says more calmly. "You said you're in love with Rachel… Are you sure?"

"I was going to the wedding mom to be there for her. That's how much I love her."

"Oh God… I can't…" The woman puts her hand on her forehead and rubs it slightly, she is still dazed. "Are you gay?"

This time it was Quinn who gets dazed. The blonde girl takes a deep breath as to prepare herself. She is pondering her options.

"I'm not going to kick you out."

With that, Quinn breathes a sigh of relief.

"Before Santana and I… uh… Anyway, I would say that all I knew was that I loved Rachel."

"What about you and Santana?" Judy asks naïvely and Quinn's eyes go wide.

"We…uh… we…" Quinn tries out. Realization hits the older Fabray. Santana is the gay friend, the gay friend who dated Brittany, the other gay friend. She is gay. Quinn is gay…

"Oh my God! Okay… yeah…" The woman stands up and starts pacing on the room. "This makes everything more real, I guess."

"Not necessarily, with S, I was actually just experimenting."

"Too much information honey."

"Oh shit. Yeah, sorry. I meant that I thought I had got over Rachel and I needed to see if it was just her or if…"

"And…"

"I liked it." She drops her eyes. "But it doesn't matter anyway; I'm still in love with her." Judy nods.

"I'm going to need some help." The blonde woman informs thoughtful.

"What for?" Quinn frowns.

"Well, I'm planning to be a good mother here Quinn. I have no idea how to handle this. You'll have to understand that this is very new and difficult to me. But I'm going to be there for you, as I should have been when you got pregnant. I want to..."

Before she can finish Quinn throws herself into her mother's arms. She hugs her mother as tighter as she manages, and Judy does the same, tears running down on both their faces.

"Thank you! I love you mom."

"I love you too Quinnie."

Back At Yale…

"It was my hint." Kurt says smiling.

They are on the floor leaning their backs on Quinn's bed. Shoulder to shoulder. Emptying a carton of ice cream as Quinn was telling everything that happened between her and her mother a month ago.

"What?"

"My dad said he met Judy one of these days. I believe he said, quote 'I didn't even know she knew that much about Rachel' unquote, so that was my hint."

"How that was your hint?"

"I remembered when I met Blaine. I couldn't stop talking about him." He eats more ice cream as Quinn watches him waiting for his explanation. "My dad told me one day. Kurt, son, I love you but please, I'm tired of you talking about this Blaine boy. I feel like I know everything about him." He giggles and places the carton on his side on the floor.

"Oh…" She smiles. "Yeah, I kind of gave my mom the whole Rachel Berry biography, probably too much detailed."

"But that actually made me wonder. What really made me figure everything out was David."

"David?"

"Karofsky."

She frowns slightly, trying to figure out what Karofsky has to do with her situation.

"By the way, sorry about that day, remember when he tried you know… I said you didn't know what pain was. It was stupid of me, it just that sometimes I look at you and all I see is this girl, the perfect blonde princess. You're so much more than that Quinn…" He sighs.

"I guess God agreed with you as you know… my car accident." She says playfully. He shivers all over his body.

"Don't joke with that. I was wrong, you went through I lot of pain. I thought I was in the place to judge you because I was the one who really suffered, I was arrogant to think that having a baby and giving her away was a walk in the park for you, that being kicked out of your own home wasn't a fucking big deal!" He cries out. "I might have suffered because I'm gay, but I have a perfect dad who cares about me and supports me and accepts me and loves me the way I am." He shakes his head rather angrily. "I'm so sorry Quinn. I love you, I couldn't lose you." He puts his arms around her and she rests her head on his shoulder.

"I love you too Kurt."

They remain silent for a while.

"What about David?" She asks.

"David used to bully me, remember?" She nods. "He kissed me." She pulls away and stares at him. "We were arguing." He continues. "When out of nowhere he forcefully kissed me. I was in shock for a moment." He sighs remembering that day. "Then he started threatening me and the rest you know."

"You left us."

"It's a way to see it." He says playfully. "I got closer to Rachel at that time. She knew something was going on with me. Do you think she could relate with what I was going through?" He arches an eyebrow and stares at her suggestively.

"What do you mean?"

"That you were to Rachel what David was to me."

"I… yeah I was a bitch to her I know but…" Kurt stares fiercely at her. "I bullied her, I know. But it was different."

"How so?"

"She tried... She… Rachel chased Finn when I was dating him!" She says upset, frowning slightly.

"Oh yeah right. You wanted her to chase you."

"I'm serious Kurt."

"So am I. Rachel was stronger than me. I just ran away. She always believed in..." He freezes. Of all the things that crossed his mind that fateful day, one of them was why Rachel wanted Quinn to be there so badly. The blonde never made a point of hiding her discontent over that wedding (and now he knows why), but what about Rachel? Why was it so important Quinn's presence? Sure, they were friends, but still…

Maybe there is a difference between their relationship and his relationship with David, does Rachel has feelings for Quinn? Like something more than just a platonic love?

"What?"

"Hm?"

"You were saying…"

"You." He smiles. "She always believed in you."

"I know. And she never gave up on us. She has been always there for me. And that's why I decided to go to the wedding. I needed to be there for her too."

"She needs you now."

"It's different."

"It's not. You're her friend and she needed you. You weren't there. But you can make amends, I'm sure she will welcome you with open arms, she is Rachel Berry after all." He says with affection.

"The problem is that I will always want more."

"That's not a problem. She is single, you're single. You're single right?"

She giggles amused.

"Yes I am." But then something hits her and she starts crying again.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asks concerned.

"I didn't date anyone after him, since we broke up junior year. I just made out with Puck and hooked up with Santana and I went out on casual dates but…"

"Come here." He hugs her again. "If I remember well, there was a certain professor…" he smiles. "Santana told me."

"I wouldn't call that dating though."

"Bygones my dear."

"About Rachel being single, I don't know if you know it but she is a girl and I'm a girl and that's just not how the world works."

"I would say so. I mean you're totally right. But you know what? had you told me you were in love with Mercedes I would tap your backs and say, yep never gonna happen as Mercedes is as gay as I am straight. But…" He trails off playfully.

"What?" She asks eagerly.

"Eager, much?"

"Kurt do you miss HBIC Quinn?"

"Okay get it, straight to the point. It's different with Rachel."

"Why so?"

"Rachel wouldn't be opposite to the idea of dating a girl as you so pointed out. Come on, how many times that girl has done something extremely gay?"

"Like what?" Quinn asks curious and he smirks.

Flashback:

"Why are you staring at her legs?" He says as Rachel gasps on her seat, startled.

"My Barbra! You scared the shit out of me! And what are you talking about?"

"Quinn, you were staring at her legs. Are you trying to conjure a spell or something? Oh my God! Do you want her to break her legs? I mean literally?"

"Don't be ridiculous why would I want to break such beautiful legs? I mean have you seen her thighs?" She says as she licks her lips.

"Yeah sure, why would I notice Quinn Fabray's thighs… wait a minute." He narrows his eyes at her. "Why would YOU notice it?"

"Kurt, is perfectly normal for us females to appreciate the others females' bodies."

"Okay. I'll have to google it later."

He turns to Mercedes, forgetting about what just happened.

Now:

Now he remembered it, and he is not a dumb sixteen years old boy anymore and yeah right Rachel, it's perfect normal to stare at another girl's legs. Drooling though is another story.

"Like stare at your legs in those sinful skirts you used to wear when you were a cheerio. Oh God! Sophomore Rachel was so gay!" He shakes his head amused.

"But, this doesn't mean… and… what about… what does it has to do with me?"

"I can't tell you much more."

"What? Oh no! You can, and you will!"

"Would you like me to expose you like that? Would you like me to go back to New York now and just say everything, and tell Rachel how you feel about her?"

She shrugs.

"But… what does it mean?"

"Never mind…"

"What can you say that is so personal? It's not like she has feelings for me or something…"

He smirks and turns his attention to the ice cream again.

"Kurt? Does Rachel? But she always loved him." She frowns thoughtful.

"Yes." He nods.

"You're playing with my feelings here Kurt."

"All I want you to do Fabray is to come with me to New York to visit the friends you've been neglected and stop hiding. Stop hiding who you truly are, I'm not asking you to join the gay parade or something, just be yourself and please stop punishing yourself."

"I don't know if I can see Rachel right now. This is not just about my guilty." He huffs petulantly. "I know it was silly." She waves holds her hand up. "But I'm working on it, I mean since mom and I talked. I'm a lot better. It's just that I don't know if I can't handle seeing her sad and being completely impassive, you know what I mean. I'm afraid I won't be capable of hiding my feelings for her."

"That's good. Don't hide it anymore. You shouldn't have hidden it in the first place, regardless of Finn and..."

"Kurt… it's not that easy. This is the kind of thing that changes everything." She cuts him off.

"Rachel is okay now, I promise you. Anyway...Okay, following your line of reasoning, you say how you feel." She nods and he goes on. "Then she breaks things with you, like she stops being your friend or something?" He arches his eyebrows. "Does that sound like something Rachel would do?" She shakes her head bashful. "Come with me Quinn. It's Friday."

He pouts playfully.

"You can always say you went to New York for shopping." A smirk spreads across his face. "When in reality all you wanted was to make sure nobody was going to see your woman's boobs."

She blushes profusely.

"Kurt! Santana has been a terrible influence over you. I can tell."

"Speaking of Santana... She and Rachel are hanging out a lot lately; you know for experience that Santana can be very persuasive, and she broke up with Dani. You know… if I'm slightly right, I don't think Rachel would be opposite to a little bit of experimenting as you so named it." He teases her.

"I'm going to pack." Quinn stands up quickly and Kurt giggles amused and happy, he is relieved that he managed to fix things, or at least to start fixing things, now he just need to get in New York in time or Rachel will kill him.

don't be shy i wanto to know what you're thinking :)

so what do you guys think? does Rachel's heart still belongs to Finn?

next Rachel! finally!