A Kid's Mythbusters
By Snazzo
Chapter Seven. Finale.
* * * *
"Texas is both clean and warm!
And many towns are above the norm!
But if you want the place that's best
Come on down and be our guest!
Come on over to our town!
Yes, come visit Retroville, Texas. The number one tourist destination in America. This message brought to you by the Retroville Tourism Center."
* * * *
The Twinkie Monster roared as it entered the southern end of the Las Vegas Strip. It knocked over the "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas" sign. It bit the head off the sphinx in front of Luxor, then picked it's massive teeth with the obelisk. Feeling reckless, it then hurled the used toothpick-obelisk across the city like a spear. It impaled itself into the Venetian, sending steel and concrete down to splash in the canals.
Tourist gaped at the creature.
"Wow! These free Vegas shows are fantastic!" a lady wearing sandals, sun tan lotion on her nose, sunglasses, and an Elvis T-shirt said to her overweight husband.
"Yes indeedy," he agreed. "This one isn't even in the guide. It must be for that new Twinkie Resort and Casino they're building."
The Twinkie Monster ran it's slithery tongue over the golden lion in front of the MGM Grand, covering it with creamy slime.
The Gang were hiding nearby outside the Bellagio. "We just cleaned that too!" Cindy groaned.
The Monster than engulfed the lion with one of it's heads and ate it whole. It let out a tremendous belch that knocked the towers over at Excalibur.
"Jimmy!" Libby yelled. "We've got to do something!"
"There's nothing we can do!" Jimmy cried. "We've already shown that Twinkies are indestructible! The elements, the weather, advanced weapons, water pressure, fire, even an atomic explosion. Nothing can stop it!" Jimmy put his head in his hands. "I've doomed us all!"
"Bummer," Sheen said. "Hey, this place has a great buffet. Who's hungry?"
"Hungry?" Carl gasped. "Sheen! You're a genius!"
"I am?" Sheen asked.
"Jimmy!" Carl shook Jimmy by the shoulders. "There is one thing that has constantly destroyed Twinkies!"
"Huh?" Jimmy looked confused. "No there isn't Carl. The Twinkie has stood up to everything we've thrown at it."
"Everything," Carl said "Everything except my stomach."
"Carl!" Jimmy shouted with joy. "You're a genius!!"
The Twinkie Monster continued up the east side of the Strip. He gobbled up the Planet Hollywood globe. He chewed up the Eifel Tower outside of the Paris Resort, and ate the Arc de Triumph for afters. Feeling thirsty, he crossed the Strip to the Bellagio lake and drank it down with one slurp. Still thirsty he turned his sights to New York, New York. He walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, collapsing it to pieces as he crossed; knocking down the Chrysler Building with one if it's tails. It then stopped at the small pool out front with the NYC fire boats and drank that water too. It's hungry gaze then fell on the Statue of Liberty out front. It tore the statue off it's pedestal and opened it's mouth wide.
"PUT THE LADY DOWN!" came a booming voice. There stood Carl, the crash test dummy, towering forty stories tall. The gang stood in his shadow, Jimmy holding the Shrink Ray. The Twinkie Monster howled with fury to no avail. Carl picked it up in his mighty hand and bit off a large head. "Still delicious and nutritious Jim!" Carl reported. Carl then ate the other head and started to work on the arms, legs, tails, and noses. Last of all he stuffed the body into his freckled cheeks. He munched and swallowed, licking the creamy filling off his fingers. "Yum! But Jimmy, I'm really really parched now."
"Lake Meade is that way!" Jimmy pointed. "Right behind Hoover Dam! Don't drink it all though."
"Back in a bit Jim!" Carl walked away.
"And there you have it," Libby said, though she was covered in bits of yellow cake and creamy filling, as were the rest of the gang, as was much of Las Vegas. "Myth confirmed, well for the most part. You CAN build a Lego Brick atomic bomb. But don't, the Federal government frowns on such behavior, and it's a waste of perfectly fun Lego Bricks. And except for Carl's mighty incisors and vast amounts of corrosive stomach acid, Twinkies are completely indestructible."
Corky Shimatzu approached the Mythbusters. "That was a SUPER CRAZY show kids!" he said.
"Thanks Corky!" Jimmy said. "I'm glad all turned out okay in the end."
"Not only did the audience watching at home love it," Corky said, "But all the people here on the Strip did too!"
For indeed, the crowds were applauding, and dispersing, heading back into what remained of the resorts to the slot machines and buffets.
"Sorry we caused so much damage, Corky," Cindy sad sadly. "I guess you're going to cancel us."
"No, small child," Corky said. "We'll have another episode one day. It's up to our readers and viewers to write in new myths they want to see the Kid's Mythbusters tackle!"
"But what about the damage?" Cindy persisted.
"This is Vegas, Baby!" Corky said, flashing his dazzling teeth. "They can afford it! Besides, it will make a great commercial!"
* * * *
"Vegas is both clean and warm,
It's shows are always 'bove the norm!
Erupting volcanoes every night!
Pirate babes that dance and fight!
Roller coasters do loop to loops!
White tigers jump through flaming hoops!
Topless girls with feathered hats!
Magic men with big white cats!
So much to eat! So much to and see!
Especially our new Giant Monster Twinkie!"
See Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada! What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!
* * * *
The End
* * * *
Snazzo does not own Las Vegas, Jimmy Neutron, Twinkies, Lego Bricks, or any products or places mentioned in this fanfic. Though he is fond of them all, obviously.
Thank you for reading. Comments and reviews very welcome. I am serious about doing another story with the Kid's Mythbusters. If you have a Myth, preferably a silly one, post it here or send it to me and I'll work on it. No promises though.
"I wish you a Merry Christmas. I wish you a Merry Christmas. I wish you a Merry Christmas.
"And see you next year!"
* * * *
Final Comments: Although this story is exceeding silly, there is just a wee bit of science in it.
-The skyscraper mentioned for the cat test is real, and I'm pretty sure about its height and floors. (But don't quote me on it.) Please don't go throw any cats off skyscrapers though, cats are cute and cuddly and that kind of behavior is frowned upon by most people.
-The Marianas Trench is real as well, the deepest spot in the ocean. I am unsure of its pressure though. Its dark and cold, and I think only two tiny crafts have made it to the bottom. They both were probably robotic. They DID however see life at that depth though, I think.
- The Twinkie tests are in fact based upon "The Twinkie Project," various studies of the Twinkies durability done by college guys with some time on their hands. Search for the Twinkie Project if you want to find out more.