I don't own glee.
As she blinks her eyelids, trying to open them fully, the sunlight disturbing her vision, she can feel a pair of big brown eyes watching her attentively. She should know that Rachel was going to wake up first.
She finally opens her eyes completely only to discover that the sunlight isn't that bright at all, not if comparing it to Rachel's mega watt smile.
"Good morning." Rachel says quietly like the lowest sound could disturb the other girl. Yes, she was staring and watching the blonde sleeping, so peaceful and of course, so beautiful.
"That depends." Quinn says with a husky voice, huskier than normal, Rachel notices as she bites down on her bottom lip, an action that doesn't go unnoticed by Quinn.
"What's time is it?" She asks, averting her eyes way from Rachel's lips.
"It's not that early."
"Rachel…" She presses her head on the pillow, muffing her voice and making the brunette giggle.
"Eight in the morning."
"Do you have to go somewhere?" Quinn turns to Rachel again.
"Not really."
"Amazing...So, we can go back to sleep then. It's Saturday."
"I'm not going back to sleep. I have a guest; she is a very classy girl. I need to prepare a decent breakfast, you know. I want her to come back more often." Rachel smiles happily.
"Any chances of bacon?"
Rachel grimaces and taps her forehead.
" You do like it…But I'm afraid we don't, I'm vegetarian, Kurt doesn't really like it and Santana is always on a diet."
"Yeah, she is pretty skinny."
"That's what I said, I mean I was surprised she ate that cheeseburger yesterday." She says relieved, Santana eating habits has been a motivation to Kurt and the Latina to argue with each other. "But I can go and buy it for you. I won't be long." She rushes to get out of the bed but Quinn stops her holding her by the waist.
"Rachel it's okay. You don't have to. I was just kidding."
"Oh." She nods. "Okay." Then she looks at where Quinn is holding her. "I...I'll go…Make your breakfast."
"Yeah… sure…" She pulls her hand away rather quickly. Rachel smiles at her and leaves to the bathroom.
Remember when you were able to be around her without making a fool of yourself? I miss those days…
"Yeah, cause insulting her was so much better." She whispers to the empty room huffing and crashing her head against the pillow.
She should know that being in the city and hanging out with the gang was something she needed. Puck was right after all, she didn't need some stupid guy to feel loved and cared for. She has her friends who loves and accepts her the way she is. When she said to Kurt that Finn was the last guy she dated, she wasn't lying per say, it's just that her romance with Biff was so brief and strange that she doesn't even count it. Truth to be told, the guy was a douche. Thank God for her baby daddy, because if there's someone who can see through her this someone would be Noah Puckerman. So, yes, Puck knows about Rachel, she opened up her heart to him and he was very adamant as to convince her that she should get rid of Biff.
" Now is like all the time I walk inside they're singing! All the time!"
Santana complains mockingly opening her arms dramatically as Quinn laughs loosely. As Santana pulls her from her thoughts. Quinn can see that she was actually just kidding and as she pays attention to her friend she notices how she was in fact in a really good mood. The blonde knows that mood very well.
"Oh please. As if you don't like it." Kurt says rolling his eyes.
Quinn gets closer to Rachel and says into her ear.
"Brittany called her right?"
"Yep." Rachel nods with a big smile on her face.
"What are you two whispering in there?" Santana narrows her eyes at them.
"Nothing Santana." Rachel brushes her off.
"So, what are we going to do this weekend?" Kurt asks.
"Quinn is in town, we need to something memorable." Rachel says with conviction. Quinn couldn't help but think it so cute.
"No singing in a karaoke bar. That's boring and lame. Let's get drunk and wasted." Santana turns to Quinn."I wanna see what Fabray is going do this time. Last time I saw her drunk it was pretty epic." She smirks. "Wasn't it Q?"
"I wouldn't say epic." Quinn disdain playfully. "No... Nothing remarkable."
"Oh bitch pleeease." Santana crosses her arms petulantly.
"What are you guys talking about?" Rachel asks confused and Kurt glares at Santana.
"Nothing." Quinn says right away.
"So what's it going it to be then?" Rachel asks excitedly.
But everything that's good has to have an end apparently. Soon it's time for Quinn to return to New Haven.
They had fun. They went out to dance and she really made up for the lost time. It was good to see everyone, at least those in the city. It would have been nice to see Brittany too, but the girl was out of town for a couple of days and she did promise that she is going to try and visit more often.
"So…" Kurt trails off playfully as they walk through the crowd.
"Thank you Kurt." Quinn says honestly.
"What for?"
"For being there for me." She smiles tearfully.
"That's what friends are for." He takes her hand and pulls her closer. "Come here." He kisses her temple. "Don't be a stranger again, okay?"
"Okay and about that other thing I…"
"Hey, it's okay. One step at time." He smirks. "Uh… I can tell she is losing her mind already. I mean, because you're leaving."
They smile at each other and then Quinn turns to where Santana and Rachel were arguing over some stupid thing as always, around them all the madness of the New York central station. The blonde rolls her eyes and gets close. Both brunette stop their debate and turn towards their friend.
"Don't disappear okay? It was actually cool to have you around." She hits her fist on Quinn's shoulder and then she walks toward Kurt.
"Oh and you better do something about that thing or I'll certainly do something about it for you." She says as she walks away.
"Yeah, Brittany will love to know about that." Quinn says with venom.
"Brittany loves experimenting new things." She teases.
"You…" Kurt shakes his head amused.
"Rach! Kurt and I are going to buy some magazines over there." Santana informs the other brunette as she drags Kurt with her.
"Why are we friends with her?" Rachel says with her big smile. "I mean, I had the chance of get rid of her months ago..." She sighs not a little bit upset.
"Why didn't you do it?" Quinn says with faux seriousness.
"It's kind of weird. I have a confession." She whispers playfully.
"Hm?"
"I kind of like her." Rachel smiles as she shakes her head.
Quinn gulps apprehensively; feeling like all her hopes of happiness just left her.
"Since when?" She asks sadly.
"I don't know; we were like family right? We still are… I think that's how it is with siblings, I don't have one but I think that's how it would be. The fights will always be there but also the love too, so…"
She nods smiling and Quinn breathes a sigh of relief.
"Yeah… that's how it is."
"Oh yeah! You have a sister. I would love to meet her someday."
"Really?" Quinn smiles shyly.
"Why wouldn't I. Is she pretty like you?"
"She is prettier actually."
Rachel laughs.
"I doubt that Quinn." The blonde girl sighs content; she has always loved her name coming from Rachel's lips. She looks at her cell phone screen to check the time.
"I guess I have to…"
"Yes sure. Let's go." Rachel says as she takes Quinn's suitcase.
"You don't have to.."
"But I want to, let's go or you will lose your train."
"Where are those two?" Quinn asks as she looks around.
"Come on, they know where your platform at."
Moments later, it is time for her to get on the train and there was no sign of Kurt and Santana, and of course she knows exactly what they are doing. She doesn't know what she is going to do with the added alone time with Rachel.
"It was really nice to see you again Rachel."
"It was amazing to have you here Quinn."
"Okay, that's ridiculous." She shakes her head. "We can't pretend I wasn't a jerk. I'm sorry. Really. I know what he..."
"It's okay." Rachel says, the first traces of tears starting to appear on her eyes.
"No it's not." Quinn says adamant. "Oh God…" She takes a deep breath as she fights the tears. "I loved him Rachel; I can't imagine what it was like for you."
Because, I would die if it was you instead…
Quinn thinks sadly. Why can't she just say it?
"Just promise you won't go anywhere." Rachel says in a small voice, so vulnerable and sweet.
She locks her eyes onto hazel ones, waiting, though Quinn is unsure on what to say. She couldn't know that one day, two years ago, she put Rachel through the same pain, even if it was for a few hours (the longest of her life) until the doctors gave them all the most amazing news of Rachel's life.
"I'm going to visit you. If that's okay." Rachel tugs her hair behind her ear.
"Of course."
"This…" She gestures between them. "It was too hard for us to get here, to become friends. I'm not ready to let go. I don't want to let go of you." She wipes her tears.
"I never wanted to let go of you… I…"
"I know… The ticket was for both of us. But you came here last year. You used it."
"I did…" She blushes slightly, remembering what Kurt said to her about Rachel's "boobs".
"Well I didn't."
I actually did, but…
"You were going through all that pain Rachel; it wasn't fair of me to say that."
That is true.
"Yeah… but I had the chance before and I just let everything else in the way."
"I should've answered your emails."
Rachel giggles amused.
"Are we going to argue over who is the most relapse friend?"
"Oh no, there's no arguing. I win. My reputation as a bitch provides me an advantage."
"I can't argue with that." Rachel smiles happily this time.
"No you can't." She looks around nervously. "I guess it's time to say good bye right?"
"Yeah…"
Rachel bites her bottom lip for a moment, a mischievous smile forming on her lips. She could easily lean forward and hug Quinn, she's done it before, but something just occurred to her, Quinn never hugged her. What? No, she does not have a lack of memory right now, she knows that they already hugged each other and she is very aware that Quinn reciprocated all those times, but she was the one initiating the hugs. Now she thinks is time for them to cross a boundary.
She drops her eyes and fidgets with her hands. She is not a very patient person. What if Quinn doesn't hug her? She can't let that happen. She is almost giving up and going for the hug herself when she feels Quinn sliding her hand on her arm, the blonde pulls her a little unsure and Rachel can understand why, she was expecting that Rachel was going to hug her. It has been always this way right?
After the first step was crossed the whole thing progresses more naturally. Rachel lets herself being pulled into Quinn's arms and when she wraps her arms around the small of the blonde's back the taller girl relaxes into the embrace. As they hug each other fully now Quinn exhales heavily, breathing in the sense of Rachel's hair. The hug goes on, a little bit longer than usual as neither of them want to let go of the other.
"I have to go." Quinn says sadly.
"Okay…" She sighs and pulls away.
"Bye."
"See you soon."
"Yes you will."
She was already getting on the train when she spots Kurt and Santana walking toward Rachel. She smiles and waves at them. They both do the same and she can even see Santana shaking her head disapprovingly. She shrugs and gets inside.
"So, let's go?" Kurt asks tenderly.
"Sure." Rachel says listlessly.
This state of mind persists the rest of the day. Like right now, they are eating and talking casually, and sure, once and while she participates, nodding and laughing, but she is somehow not herself in the moment. She's usually over aware and animate and laughing with all her heart. Now she is just there with her friends, absentmindedly.
She misses Quinn. She smiles at this thought. Is it silly? The girl just left them, it's not like she didn't know this was going to happen. Quinn has a life, she has her college obligations. Suddenly something caught her attention, her marked and written - and full of golden stars to mark the important dates- calendar on the fridge (she is a very controlled person.).
"Fuck!" Kurt and Santana gasp and they immediately turn to her. "What kind of friends are we? How could I have forgotten?!"
"What?" Kurt asks concerned.
"February first! Next Saturday!" She raises her arms. "Golden star!" She points to the calendar.
Santana taps her head. "Fuck!" She remembered.
"What? Can you guys tell me what's going on?"
"Quinn's birthday!" Rachel shouts. "Oh my god it's Quinn's birthday! It's her Birthday! We have… We have to do something."
"She didn't mention anything…" Kurt says confused.
"Duh… do you know her at all?" Rachel says petulantly.
"Yeah, that's how Fabray is. I bet she told her mother she is fine and she doesn't want any celebrations." Santana explains.
"Maybe." He pouts.
"Yeah, but she is going to turn twenty years old we need to celebrate." She smiles. "Quinn is going to be twenty years old!"
"So?" Santana says as if it isn't a big deal.
"Nothing." Rachel shrugs shyly."I know!" She shouts again.
"What is it this time?" The other brunette says annoyed.
"A surprise party!" She turns to Santana with her maniac look, the one she has when she is determinate. "I need you."
"Why?" Santana rolls her eyes.
"It's your job to make sure she will be here Saturday night. But make sure you bring her without letting her know about the party. You can't fail."
"Okay. That will be easy." She smirks.
"What about me?" Kurt asks pouting.
"You will help to prepare a fabulous surprise party. Starting with the invitations!"
It is an ordinary Wednesday night; the party's preparation is almost complete, she's been working on it since the Sunday Quinn left; Rachel gets inside their loft and finds Kurt, Blaine, Santana and Dani arguing about something. She says hello to all of them and says she is going to take a shower.
"Sure honey! The dinner is almost ready!" Kurt informs her lively.
After all the steps of her night routine she goes and joins their friends.
"Did you guys see Sam new pictures?" She asks as she gets close.
"Yeah. They're amazing." Blaine says rather excitedly, making Kurt clear his throat playfully. "What?" he shrugs. "They are."
"You're too much obsessed with Sam lately." Dani teases.
"Well, I care about my friends." Rachel says casually.
"Yeah, okay… You totally want him Rachel." The blonde states playfully.
"I totally don't."
"Why not he is cute?"
"I don't know. Sam has always been a friend and I don't know if he is even interested."
"So you'd go for it if he is?"
"Did he say something to you?" Rachel frowns part confused on where all this conversation came from and part curious too.
"No, I'm just saying…"
"Well, I'm not interested." She says with finality. "What were you guys arguing before?"
"Who has the best gaydar." Blaine answers her and she can't help but roll her eyes.
"Me, obviously." Santana states with certainty.
"Sweetie you thought Quinn was straight, before you and her… you know." She says and Rachel eyes pop open.
"What?" She asks eagerly.
"Nothing!" Kurt and Santana say at the same time.
"Oh." Dani shrugs, realizing that she said too much and that what happened between Santana and Quinn is probably a secret.
"Nothing. I have a great gaydar. But I think, I was wrong."
Rachel turns to Santana.
"What happened?"
"Nothing. As Dani said, she thought Quinn was gay. That's it… But her gaydar sucks." Santana mocks and for a brief moment she shares a meaningful look with Kurt.
"What happened?" Rachel repeats her question between greeted teeth.
"What you mean?" Santana asks unsure.
"Dani said before you and her… so, I'm curious…" She tries to keep calm. "What happened?"
"Look, it's none of your business okay? When Quinn opens up to you so we can talk till then I'm sorry but yeah, it's none of your business."
Rachel nods. "Okay."
She remains silent the whole dinner, her thoughts making impossible for her to concentrate in anything other than: before you and her…
After she ate she leaves them and goes to her bedroom.
She takes her cell phone and makes the call she was eager to do.
"Rachel?"
"Yes."
"Hello!"
Rachel giggles as she hears the excitement in the other girl's voice.
"Is everything all right?"
"Yes sure B. Uh… listen, I have a question and I need you to be completely honest with me."
"Sure…" Brittany answers calmly.
"What happened between Santana and Quinn?"
"What you mean? It's something wrong? Is it something I don't know? Did they fight again?"
"No, they're all right. It's something that happened a while ago… Something gay related I think."
"Oh…" Brittany purrs on the phone. "You know, I'd get super jealous if it wasn't super hot." She giggles. "I was with Sam so…"
By now Rachel is not even breathing anymore or so it seems.
"Brittany you'll have to be more specific. What exactly happened?"
"Sex? They totally fucked."
"Oh."
She closes her eyes rather fiercely. She is not going to cry, why would she cry? It's none of her business, right? But why does she feel like her world just turned upside down?
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you asking?"
"Nothing, just curious."
"Oh crap…"
"What?"
"I shouldn't have said that."
"Why not?"
"You know Quinn Rachel; she doesn't like to be exposed. I don't think she wanted you to know otherwise she would've told you."
"I know. But I needed to know B."
"You asked Santana right?"
"I did."
"And you're jealous right?"
"I don't want to be. It's so confusing. I'm her friend. We're nothing more than friends and still I want to go there in the living room and punch Santana's face till she is bleeding."
"Wow! Wait you can't do that! That would not be cool." She says worried, no one beats her Santana.
"I can… in my mind at least. It's not pretty I have to say."
"I can imagine, but hey no violence; please Rachel."
"It's hard B, she always do that. She took Finn's virginity and then the whole Funny girl thing and now this? She slept with Quinn?" She cries out. "She fucking slept with Quinn!"
She raises her voice, by now she doesn't even care that they might hear.
"She didn't do that to get to you. They were both drunk and you were with Finn."
"What?"
"It was at Mr. Shue's wedding"
"Oh…"
"Yeah, you can't be mad at her."
"Rationally I know I can't B. But I'm furious and I… I can't even see her face right now…" She says irritated when suddenly something hits her. "Wait, how did you know I was jealous?"
"You were always trying to get her attention, like a puppy Rachel, since sophomore year. You like her, really like her."
"How do you? I didn't know…"
"Sometimes it's hard to figure out I guess." Brittany says tenderly.
"But I always loved Finn."
"Maybe, but maybe you just never gave it a chance."
"Maybe… Oh God I need air. I've gotta go B. I'm so confused."
"Okay. But remember, no violence. I'm here if you need me."
"I'll try and same here."
"Bye Rachel."
"Bye Brittany."
She takes a deep breath, trying to calm down.
You have no right to be mad at her. They can do whatever they want it's none of your business. She says to herself, but it's useless.
Wow! I really need some air.
Rachel walks out of her bedroom; her three best friends are still awake, Dani left moments ago; she has no intention of speaking to anyone right now, but apparently she is not that lucky.
"Rachel, are you okay?" Kurt asks concerned.
"I am. I just need some air."
"Are you going outside? Are you crazy? It's cold and it's dangerous." Santana says serious and Rachel ignores her. "What are you doing?"
Rachel keeps walking.
"Rachel." Santana takes her arm and stops her.
"Let go of me."
"What? Look if this is about..."
"Let go of me!" Rachel says angrily and Santana look into her eyes.
"You know, don't you?"
"What do I know Santana?" She says bitterly.
"You called Britt?!"
"How do you..."
"You involved Britt on this! You're fucking idiot! I said… ugh!"
Rachel averts her eyes and starts walking toward the door as if nothing happened.
"You're not going outside, you're crazy?" Santana holds her firmly.
"Santana I'm warning you, let me go."
"Why are you so pissed anyway?" Santana inquires.
"Santana." Kurt adverts her this time.
"No I want to know. We fuck each other. So what?"
Rachel releases her arm harshly.
"Fuck you!"
"Guys what's going on here?" Blaine asks confused.
"Why are you so pissed?"
"I'm not pissed with anything!" She shouts, then she rubs her forehead."I just need some air; I'm not feeling very well."
She braces herself for what is going to come, but she needs to do this. Her methods are a little bit different than Kurt's.
"No you're pissed, is it because I didn't tell you that I fucked Fabray? Did you want the details? Like how it was like? Or how many times I made her come? Or if I made her scream like a little bitch?"
She really didn't want to do that again, but it was stronger than her. Before Santana could do anything, Rachel's hand hits her cheek once again.
It was harder than the one after the Funny girl occurrence, Santana notices as she rubs her cheek.
"What the hell! Why did you do that?"
"You disrespected her!" She looks around searching for support.
"Santana was just being Santana Rachel." Kurt decides to play along even though he doesn't approve Santana's methods, but she already started and he wanted it to end as fast as possible.
"What?! You can't be serious Kurt." Rachel says incredulous.
"I didn't say I approve, I'm just saying for you to calm down, there's no need to use violence."
"I still want to know why you slapped me." Santana provokes.
"Because I fucking love her!"
Rachel says rather loud, and as soon as the words leave her lips, she gets as shocked as the rest of them.
"I knew it." Kurt smiles widely.
A new couple forming? Quinn and Rachel none the less? That's the gossip of the year. There's just one thing he might be forgetting, regarding Quinn and Rachel nothing is ever that simple.
How was it? was Rachel too much? Too slow? too fast? you're welcome to say anything.