Sorry for the wait. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter it was strange to write it cause I wasn't sure how to do it, this fic took a different path that I had planned it to go. It was supposed to be about Finn's death and how Quinn was going to deal with it and her guilty because of her feelings for Rachel. But then I liked the dynamic between Kurt, Santana and Rachel. And I decided to explore Rachel's feelings too rather than make it a one side thing. Nothing against who does it, but I really think I'm not capable of writing a fic where Quinn loves Rachel but Rachel doesn't love her back and vice-versa.
So, no guilty Quinn for now. She is not going to restrain herself as I imagined at first. I think when Rachel declares herself to you, you can't say no, even if you think you don't 'deserve' to be with her, especially if you're Quinn Fabray :)
I don't own Glee.
"Are you going to ignore me forever?"
Silence.
"Seriously Rachel? You do know you have no right to be mad at me right?"
More silence.
"You know what? Whatever, I don't care!" Santana says contemptuously and goes back to her dinner. "Your loss."
"Okay, at the risk of you getting mad at me as well, I have to say something Rachel…" Kurt takes a deep breath. "Santana has a point, you can't be mad at her and I know she didn't do it with the purpose of provoking you." He looks at Santana. "Not this time." He adds joking." Rachel please talk to me. You haven't said anything since you said you love her."
Rachel finally opens her mouth. "There's nothing to tell." She sighs.
She drops her eyes and stares at the food in front of her. She knows she shouldn't be mad at Santana, but it's like part of her knows she will never have Quinn, thus she can help, but wish it was her in Santana's place. She honestly doesn't know if she should open her heart to Quinn. It might end up being a huge mistake. Her feelings for Quinn, has been something she learned to repress awhile ago. The blonde had became one of her best friends, and by the end of senior year, she was very content with this scenario. She had Finn, she was going to New York and Quinn was going to be just a few hours away from her.
However, she just confessed out loud, that she loved the girl, and she can't pretend everything is to remain the same. She can't pretend that she just didn't say that her once obscure, messy and confused feelings toward Quinn are actually sheer unconditional love.
And when Rachel Berry loves, she does it to the fullest. That's why to her, Finn is going to be the perfect guy forever.
"You said you loved Quinn." Kurt says carefully. "Of course there is something to tell."
"I shouldn't have said that."
"Why not?" He frowns worriedly.
"Because it's not true, I mean... I didn't know what I was talking about." She fidgets with her food.
Santana lets out a grunt, clearly upset.
"So, you're saying you don't love her?" Kurt asks.
"No, I love her, she's my friend, and that's exactly my point. I said I love her because I do, but it's just friendly love." Rachel says lamely.
"That's bullshit!" Santana exclaims irritated.
"I wasn't talking to you." Rachel replies stubbornly.
"Friendly love? That's why you slapped me?"
"I slapped you, because you were being a bitch."
"Yeah of course." Santana says crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. She is clearly annoyed by now.
"Rachel, you meant it when you said you loved her. Don't shut me out, please talk to me."
"What can I say Kurt? I really don't know what to do…"
"Tell her of course." He says as if it is obvious and Rachel laughs amused.
"Tell Quinn Fabray, that I love her?"
He nods happily.
"The Quinn Fabray?"
"Yes…" He looks at Santana, confused. "Do we know another one?"
"Then what, she would never come back, because I would have made her feel uncomfortable." She smiles sadly.
"What are you talking about Berry?"
"She might still be straight, she could have been just…" She says shyly as she tugs her hair behind her ear.
"Experimenting?" Santana adds.
Rachel remains silent. She just remembered that she has been ignoring Santana since Wednesday night. She had no intention of stopping now.
"That's what she told me." Santana continues.
"She was drunk." Rachel says bitterly, forgetting again about the silent treatment.
"You're saying she only had sex with me, because she was drunk?"
"Obviously." Rachel says viciously.
"Hahaha." Santana mocks. "You know what? I did believe that was the case, until the second time…" She looks straight into Rachel's eyes. "Oh Yeah there was definitely a round 2."
She is Santana Lopez, and she wouldn't be herself, if she passed up the chance of being a bitch. Although she had good intentions this time, or so she thinks. Well, she wants to help her friends to get together, that's a good thing right?
"If I wasn't so sure, that little miss perfect blonde princess wasn't that straight to begin with, when she went down on me that night… I had a closure. Quinn is definitely one talented girl."
"I hate you." Rachel growls a little at Santana, as she looks at her with fire in her eyes.
"The thought of Quinn going down on me makes you jealous doesn't it?" Santana says matter of fact as she watches Rachel's face contorting into a look of pure rage.
"Santana…" Kurt interjects.
"You're lying." Rachel says in a low tone.
"No." She shakes her head. "My sexy times? Trust me, this is something I'd never lie about."
"That's enough! Damn! Do you have to be this bitch all the time?" Kurt raises his voice at Santana, and she just rolls her eyes petulantly and looks at Rachel again.
"Are you picturing it?" She teases one last time."I wouldn't blame you if you were. It was some pretty hot action, once you think about it, and by the way, let's talk about the fact that you're in love with..." She narrows her eyes. "A girl?"
"What about it?" Rachel gets confused.
"It means you're gay Berry, gayberry. Haha...I wish I could get back in time to high five myself…" She laughs at her own joke.
"She was going to marry Finn, Santana."
"So, he could be her beard and excuse as to why she never would have had to admit her feelings for Quinn."
"Santana!"
"Okay, fine then she is at least bi-sexual." She raises her hands. They both look at Rachel waiting for her to speak.
"It doesn't matter okay!" She turns to Santana. "She was just drunk, and at the end of the night, she is going to go back to someone like him!"
"Like who?" Kurt asks surprised and curious.
"That Yale guy."
"What Yale guy?" Santana is the one asking this time.
Rachel sighs soundly.
"I went to visit her. Months ago." She says sorrowful.
As she has her friends complete captivated, Rachel tells them all about her brief visit to New Haven. She tells them that she saw Quinn kissing a guy and ran away as fast as she could but that she didn't even know why she did it in the first place.
"The same reason why you're mad at me."
"No…" She shakes her head sadly. "I ran away because I felt… like… I felt so out of place, like it was high school all over again and she was that Quinn."
"But Rachel…" Kurt tries out as Rachel stands up.
"I want to be alone." She lowers her voice to a soft and unobtrusive tone. "Please?"
"What about tomorrow?" He asks.
"We're still keeping the plan." She turns to Santana."You still have to bring her here."
She goes to her makeshift bedroom leaving Kurt and Santana with their own thoughts.
Quinn gets out of the taxi, after she handled the money to the driver in a rush. She enters the building and runs up the stairs. She is in a good shape, she is not a cheerio anymore, but she manages to do her exercises routines even with all her college's obligations. Her heart racing in her chest has nothing to do with the running. It's because of Santana's phone call. She thought everything was alright, Rachel seemed to be okay.
Quinn finally gets on their loft's door where Santana is waiting for her, a little bit over dressed taking into consideration the urgent situation they are in.
"Where is she? What's going on?"
"She is inside."
"Where's Kurt?" She gets close to the door.
"Just calm down Q, you will see." She smirks.
"What?" Quinn gets confused with Santana's demeanor.
Santana knocks on the door and after a moment it slides open. She takes Quinn's hand and guides her inside. The blonde gets even more confused as she walks in and sees that the loft's lights are off.
"Uh, San why are the lights off?"
"Surprise!" They all say in unison as Kurt turns on the living room light.
"Wha... Guys! I can't…" With the biggest smile plastered on her face, the one she only shows in rare moments. The one Rachel absolutely loves, she analyzes her friends' home and sees that the place is full; she recognizes many faces and notices some new ones too. Probably Rachel, Kurt and Santana's friends, but she only has eyes for one person at the moment.
Rachel walks toward her, somehow there's something different about the way she is looking at Quinn, but at the same time it's not different at all. The blonde girl has no time to decide if there's something different or not as Rachel hugs her tight.
"Happy birthday." Rachel says into Quinn's ear and squeezes her tenderly. The blonde girl melts and her knees begin to get weak and threatening to let her down.
"I can't believe you guys." Quinn says happily and all of sudden is pulled into a very familiar arms.
"Happy birthday Quinn!"
"B!" She screams excitedly as another pair of arms embraces her after Brittany releases her. "Blaine! Hi!"
"Happy birthday!" Blaine says tenderly.
"Okay enough." Kurt pulls them apart playfully."Hi! Happy birthday!" He hugs her tight.
"Thank you! I mean… I didn't know."
"Well, it was actually Rachel's idea." He says suggestively.
"Uh… they helped." Rachel informs as she blushes a little.
"I loved it." Quinn says as she caresses Rachel's long hair tugging it behind the brunette's ear.
"That's good. Can we..."
"Excuse me… White chocolate passing. Hey Lady Q!"
"Sam!" Sam pulls her into him and lifts her in the air playfully.
"Happy birthday. So, older women… hot." He puts her down.
"Shut up you fool. Hey girl, happy B day." Mercedes says playfully.
"Hey cedes." Quinn hugs her friend.
"Hey Q."
"Hi Artie." She leans and kisses his cheek.
"Happy birthday girl." Artie says, smiling at his friend.
"Guys! Music please!" Brittany shouts.
"I'm going to put it on my bedroom." Rachel takes Quinn's suitcase.
"Okay."
"I'll be right back." Rachel smiles reassuringly.
"Hey Q. Sorry about that. Rachel said I needed to make sure you'd come and I couldn't tell that we were going to make a surprise party so…" Santana gets close.
"I should be pissed at you. But it's okay, I guess... She's okay so…"
"What were you planning to do? I mean I did try the 'hey Quinn come over let's celebrate you birthday party together' and you refused? Why?"
"Nothing."
"Really?"
"You know how I feel or how I used to feel about my birthdays."
"I know, but… I thought that maybe it could be different now?"
"Mom called me in the morning, to check if I had received my gift. She gave me a book."She nods happily and then smiles from ear to ear. "A book San!"
"Uh… that's good I guess?" Santana asks unsure.
"Are you kidding me? That's perfect. She actually thought about it, she remembered that I said that I'd rather have a book than jewelry for a gift." She frowns. "They always gave me jewelry. I hated all."
"This is past now." Santana says and caresses Quinn arms.
"I know and I really loved this." She gestures her head to the loft, where everyone is excited as Brittany and the others put the music on.
"Yeah, just because it was the hobbit's idea."
"Hobbit?" Quinn arches her brow. "Did you guys fight again?"
"Sort of…"
"Why?"
"Because, Santana has this habit of wanting things that are supposed to be mine."
"Haha, I won't even say how stupid that sounded. It's Quinn's birthday party and I want her to have fun."
"Are you saying that I don't want her to have fun?" Rachel raises her voice a little.
"Guys what was it this time?" Quinn asks patiently.
"Hey, hey stop you two." Kurt approaches them."Santana go join Britt and the others. Rachel go help Quinn change."
"Change?" she asks surprised.
"You'll see." He winks at her.
The dress on Rachel's bed is the first thing Quinn notices as they walk in Rachel's makeshift bedroom.
"It's a gift." Rachel says as she sees Quinn's look of curiosity.
"You didn't..."
"No." She shakes her head giggling."Kurt. He has contacts. But I chose it."
"It's beautiful." She takes the green dress (of course Rachel would choose a green one) analyzing it closely. "And so very me. A little bit bolder. I mean look at this neckline." She smiles foolishly.
Rachel laughs amused.
"Yeah, but it's your birthday, and I think you're going to look beautiful in it."
"Let's see." She says eagerly. "You guys didn't have to do all this, really…" She smiles at Rachel. "I'm going to…"
"Wait."
"What?" Quinn looks at her friend eyes shining with curiosity.
"I didn't buy the dress… but I… I bought you something." Rachel bites down on her bottom lip eagerly. She goes toward her dressing table and takes a box.
"Wha... Rach…"
"It's just something simple."
She hands the box to Quinn. The blonde unwraps the gift and gasps when she sees the fancy box. How funny, she thinks, in the past she would get extremely annoyed to be receiving yet more jewelry, but now she is just thrilled. She opens the box and smile from ear to ear as she sees the bracelet inside.
"Can I?" Rachel asks shyly.
"Sure." Quinn answers, smile still in place. Rachel takes the box and then the bracelet. "Rachel, you really shouldn't… it's too much."
"It's not I promise. Which wrist do you want me to put it?"
"The left."
"Of course." She nods. "That's a flower." Rachel holds the charm attached to the bracelet.
A gardenia…
She omits this information. She is a coward she knows it. It wasn't exactly a simple gift. Rachel put a lot effort on it, she wanted a bracelet, that was not too complicated, but the charm was the hardest part, she had to have it made. How she managed to do it in one week? She didn't. That's the point, she has the bracelet in her possession for awhile now, and in fact she should have given it to Quinn two years ago.
Flashback:
"Can I ask you why a gardenia?" The sympathetic old lady asks with a smile on her face.
"I… It's… I don't know, I like this flower."
"Oh… I thought it had something to do with the fact that gardenias mean 'secret love'. Did you know that?"
"It's just a gift." Rachel smiles embarrassed. "It's to a friend."
"Is she pretty?"
Rachel opens her mouth widely.
"Well, it's a bracelet and although I don't mind at all if you're giving it to a boy, and it's none of my business too." She says mockingly. "I think you're giving it to a girl, am I right?"
"Yeah sure… of course… it's a bracelet." She giggles nervously.
"Just tell her. Don't let it be a secret forever."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Rachel frowns confused.
"I remember that I was petrified with the thought of finally admitting my feelings to my partner. Of course it was a little bit different back then; I could never take her as my date to our prom for example." She smiles at Rachel. "But it was amazing when we were finally honest with ourselves and our feelings."
"Oh no…" Rachel shakes her head. "It's not like that. I mean she is just a friend."
The woman nods knowingly.
"She is recovering from an accident and I…"
"It's okay honey. You don't have to explain. I was being nosy." She smiles reassuringly.
"Sure…"
Now:
Obviously, she chickened; she never had the courage to give it to the girl. Until now.
"It's beautiful. Really, thank you." Quinn leans and kisses Rachel's cheek.
She is just so happy she can't stop smiling; yes she hated it when her parents presented her with some fancy jewelry because it had no meaning. Rachel's gift however doesn't seem at all like those, it seems something so special and yet so very simple.
"You're welcome."
"Okay, I'm going to put my dress. I'm feeling very spoiled right now."
"You deserve it."
"I don't, but I'm not complaining." She giggles. "To the dress now!"
"Oh yeah right. I'll turn around."
"You don't have to… I mean I used to get changed in front of lots of girls." She giggles.
Rachel frowns. What's it with all this jealousy anyway? Can't she control herself anymore?
"Sorry. You're probably going to be uncomfortable."
"No. it's not that. Go ahead. I'll help you with the dress."
Not a good idea Rachel…
She shakes her head.
"Anyway, yeah I guess, I'll…" She finally decides to turn around as Quinn takes off her jacket and shoes.
"Can you help me with this zipper? I like this dress, but this shit always gets stuck." She says as she tries to reach the zipper of her dress.
"Sure." Rachel turns around and gets close to Quinn. She positions herself behind the blonde and takes a deep breath. After two attempts she finally manages to put it down. With shaking hands and eyes glazed on the exposed skin in front of her she gulps nervously.
"Thanks." Quinn turns around. She is not an idiot, she knows something is disturbing Rachel. Maybe it was the fight with Santana or Rachel is uncomfortable with her undressing in front of her, but then she remembers that Rachel is in the theater world, she will have to get used to it. However, when she looks into Rachel's now dark eyes she notices something else. What leads her to think about what Kurt said about Rachel and staring.
She pulls her dress down slowly and yeah, Rachel is staring. In fact she almost loses her composure and lets out a moan right then, when she sees the other girl licking her lips as her hypnotized brown eyes rake every piece of skin that Quinn is expositing in a very leisure pace.
Her dress is on her waist when Rachel recovers her senses and looks away.
"I want to touch up you…" She opens her mouth widely. What did she just say? "Do you want to touch up? I mean… uh… do you want to borrow my make up?" She says as she puts some distance between them.
"I don't know." Quinn bites her lips trying to hide her smile, dress completely off now.
"Do you think I need it?" Remember she is Quinn Fabray expert in teasing?
"Not really…" Rachel says huskier than she intended. "I mean, you decide." She turns around before she sees too much as Quinn starts taking off her bra.
"Can you help me here?" The blonde asks as she puts the other dress up her torso.
"Sure." Rachel turns around once again and is presented with Quinn's back as the blonde girl is still putting on the straps of the dress. She exhales heavily and gets close. "It's really beautiful." She is aware that she is doing the whole thing too slowly, and that the hand that was holding Quinn's waist seconds ago is now dangerously placed on the blonde's ribs.
"I'm going to trust you with that." Quinn says playfully and turns around.
"Yeah."
Neckline, cleavage, marvelous skin... Yes, she is ogling Quinn's breasts. It's not her fault.
Look at that! Oh my Barbra… Were they always this beautiful? I need nipples. I want to see nipples…
"Uh Rachel? My eyes are up here." She points to her eyes and Rachel blushes profusely.
"I was just admiring…"
Your breasts… also can I see your nipples? What? What the hell is wrong with me! Am I a guy now?
"You were just admiring?"
"No!" She shakes her head terrified. "I'm not a gay!"
Quinn frowns immediately.
"Really Rachel? I would've never thought that you'd be such closed minded person." She fixes her dress and goes toward Rachel's dressing table.
"No... No…" She laughs nervously. "Guy. I wanted to say guy. I'm not a guy." This three times is for emphasis, it has nothing to do with the manhands ocurrence, right? "Although I wasn't looking uh…" She giggles forcedly again. "I was just checking if the dress fitted… and yeah… It's perfect."
"Okay, I'm going to put on some make up."
"Let me help you."
"No. I can do it." She says sharply. Rachel nods dejected.
"I'll go back to the party then." She says and walks back into the living room.
As soon as Rachel is out of sight, Quinn lets out a growl. Moments ago everything was going so well.
"Hey, easy there." Kurt approaches her in the kitchen.
"What?"
"The alcohol Rachel."
She rolls her eyes and empties the red solo cup in her hand.
"I'm just having fun."
"Alcoholic coma it's not my definition of fun."
"You're overreacting." She retorts and walks toward the improvised dance floor in the middle of the living room. Kurt watches as she approaches the unholy trinity to join them on their dance. He presses his index and thumb fingers on his nose. He smells trouble as he knows Santana is also drunk.
"Hey baby let's dance!" Blaine calls him out; he shakes his worries away, at least for now. It's a party after all.
"Hey guys we should play spin the bottle!" Sam shouts enthusiastically.
"Nope, spin the bottle is no fun without my baby daddy." Quinn giggles tipsy.
"Why?" Rachel frowns annoyed.
"Duh… he is the master in doing inappropriate remarks." The blonde answers playfully.
"Totally." Brittany nods. "The first time he saw San and I kissing was when we played it in that party," She turns to Santana. "Remember?" Santana nods. "He asked to join."
"Oh okay." Rachel shrugs.
"Oh damn it! That's how I was planning to kiss you Q." Sam says disappointed.
"You're not going to kiss her." Rachel says upset and pushes him away.
"Yeah, no kissing." Quinn giggles.
"Okay." He raises his hand in surrender.
"I'm going to get more beer. Who wants it?"
"I'm going to help you." Rachel offers.
Avoiding the mass of young people that is dancing and yelling joyfully and clearly under the influence of alcohol, they walk together toward the boozes in the kitchen.
"What are you doing?" She says roughly as soon as they are in the kitchen.
"Taking some beer?" He says confused.
"Quinn! With Quinn!" She clarifies irritated.
"What do you mean?"
"You think you can hit on her like that. Just like that?"
"Well, she is single."
"No you can't!" She says rather loudly.
"Hey… calm down. It's nothing serious Rachel. We're just having fun. We're friends. Did you think I was really… you know trying something?"
"Look at her Sam. Why wouldn't you?"
"Yeah I know." He stares at the blonde dancing on the floor with Santana, Brittany and Mercedes.
"Which one you're staring at?" She says and smiles, less angry now.
"All of them." He nods pathetically, looking at the unholy trinity and Mercedes. He lowers his voice. "But don't worry… I'm all about cedes now." He says childlike.
"Okay. But stay away from Quinn."
"Because she is yours?"
Rachel gasps and spills the beer that was in her mouth.
"What?!" She wipes her mouth.
"I respected your relationship with my bro Rach, but you were always kind of… How can I say it?" He thinks for a moment. "Gay for Fabray? And I missed the whole sophomore year saga. The legend says, that's where it all started."
She narrows her eyes at him.
"Who told you that?"
"Nobody…" He rubs the back of his neck.
"Santana." She says and he nods guiltily. "What else?"
"What you mean?"
"Sam…"
"She said she wanted me to hit on Quinn." He draws his lips into his mouth apprehensively.
Sensing that something was going on, Santana glances at them, she says something in Brittany's ear and walks toward the pair.
"Okay, I know it was a stupid idea." She says as soon as she gets close.
"Yeah." Rachel says upset.
"You were ignoring me and I was… ugh! Rachel you know I'm a bitch, I can't help it!" She starts crying.
"There we go. My emotional drunk." Rachel gets close and hugs her. "You're a bitch."
"Okay, I'll leave ya girls." Sam states playfully.
"I know, why does people like you and Brittany love me is beyond me."
"Who said that I loved you?"
"Oh Please." She rolls her eyes.
"You guys made up I see." Kurt approaches them. Santana looks at Rachel with hopeful eyes.
"Well, that depends, are you planning to win a Tony before me?"
"Are you serious?" Santana mocks her, but then she thinks better than to tease Rachel now."Okay. No, I'm not." She lifts her hands in surrender.
Rachel gets satisfied, serves herself and takes another shot.
"Okay enough."
"Geez Kurt don't be such an ass. It's just a shot."
"No, this is your forth. I counted."
"So? It's a party. You're being boring."
"And you're drunk." He sighs. "Rachel what's going on?"
"What?" She asks upset.
"Talk to me." He begs sweetly.
"I won't talk about my delusional love for her at a party Kurt. Her party!"
"Again with this shit? Just go get her already!" Santana says annoyed.
"I can't!" She shouts.
"Why?" Santana asks curious. Rachel laughs loosely. "No." Santana crosses her arms."I want to know…"
"Because it's Quinn." She explains as it is the most obvious thing in the world.
"And?"
"She doesn't want this." She gestures to herself. "I'm clumsy and she always thought of me as annoying, obnoxious, and annoying did I already say that she used to think I was annoying?" She says almost yelling now trying to overdo the music.
"Yeah." Kurt and Santana say at the same time.
"That's why she never really liked Finn. We are not really her type."
"And what's her type?" Kurt asks amused with Rachel's level of insecurity. He thought she was over this; or apparently it's just Quinn bringing it back.
"Guys like Sam, or… or Puckerman … or…" She grimaces. "That Yale guy... I… and let's say she is into girls… I'm pretty sure I'd never be her type, she wants something like…"
"What?" Kurt inquires her.
"This." She gestures to Santana this time.
"Okay Berry either you don't know Quinn or you're really very blind." Santana states calmly.
"What are you talking about?"
"Nothing, let's dance girls, this is a party." Kurt interjects.
"But…" Santana complains.
"We already interfered too much. Let them be." He says only for her to hear.
"Rach!" Quinn shouts animatedly. "What you're doing? Come over here!"
"Okay!" Rachel fills a cup with beer and goes toward the blonde girl.
"Why don't you want to interfere?" Santana questions the fashionable boy.
"Because it's not up to us."
"You went to New Haven."
"That's different; I didn't want her to punish herself or to isolate herself from us. I wanted her to open up. But I can't force anything, even if it sucks to see Rachel this way. I guess we'll have to wait and be there when they need us."
"Fine." She huffs and goes back to her dancing.
Moments later and Rachel is shouting excitedly.
"Guys! Guys!" She tries out, but it's completely ignored, so she stops the music. "Do I have your attention now?" She says sarcastically and nods pleased when she sees she has her friends' full attention now. "So, I think now it's time… It's cake time! Kurt!" She calls out the boy and he comes out of the kitchen with a cake.
"There's a cake?" Quinn asks surprised.
"Of course there's a cake. It's your birthday!" Rachel embraces her tenderly.
After they sing the happy birthday song, Quinn prepares to blow out the candles.
"Make a wish!" Rachel says excitedly as she is also taking lots of pictures.
"Careful Q, it might come true." Santana teases her.
Quinn blows out the twenty candles on the cake, and yeah, she kind of wishes Rachel could maybe reciprocate her feelings just a little bit.
It is very late in the night when they finally drop the dancing. But not the music…
The piano is there, isn't it?
So, to Santana's complete disliking, after everybody is gone, remaining only the closest friends (yeah, the glee club friends), they start singing songs with Blaine playing the piano. Although she stops complaining when Brittany starts singing, especially because she thinks there's nothing sexier than Brittany dancing.
The blonde starts singing as Blaine follows on the piano.
Do I imagine it, or do I see your stare?
Is there still longing there?
Oh I hate myself, and I feel crazy
Such a classic tale
Current girlfriend, ex girlfriend
I'm trying to be cool
Am I being paranoid, am I seeing things?
Am I just insecure?
I want to believe
It's just you and me
Sometimes it feels like there's three
of us in here, baby...
So yeah, Brittany is not completely happy with her and Santana's current situation. She is not completely okay with Santana and Dani being friends and she is definitively not okay with her and Santana not being officially back yet. She just can't wait to move to the city. Damn college!
So I, wait for you to call
And I try to act natural
Have you been thinking 'bout her or about me?
And while I wait
I put on my perfume
Yeah I want it all over you
I gotta mark my territory
I'll never tell, tell on myself
but I hope she smells my perfume
I'll never tell, tell on myself
but I hope she smells my perfume
I hide it well, hope you can't tell
but I hope she smells my perfume
I hide it well, hope you can't tell
but I hope she smells my perfume
Dani didn't go to the party for obvious reasons. Brittany has no real problems with the girl, she is not a hate person, but they didn't get along very well.
I wanna fill the room
When she's in it with you
Please don't forget me
Do I imagine it, or catch these moments
I know you got history
But I'm your girlfriend
Now I'm your girlfriend
trying to be cool
I hope I'm paranoid
That I'm just seeing things
That I'm just insecure
I want to believe
It's just you and me
Sometimes it feels like there's three
of us in here, baby
.
So I, wait for you to call
And I try to act natural
Have you been thinking 'bout her or about me?
And while I wait
I put on my perfume
Yeah I want it all over you
I gotta mark my territory
"Are you kidding right? Baby I'm all yours..." Santana says drunkenly.
I'll never tell, tell on myself
but I hope she smells my perfume
I'll never tell, tell on myself
but I hope she smells my perfume
I hide it well, hope you can't tell
but I hope she smells my perfume
I hide it well, hope you can't tell
but I hope she smells my perfume
The song barely ended and Santana is jumping into the blonde arms and kissing the hell out of her as they all cheer loudly.
Sam and Mercedes are the last to leave and even though Blaine lives with them too he is going to stay with Kurt tonight. Rachel takes them to the door to say good bye as Quinn watches her from the couch. When Rachel turns around she sees the blonde smiling from ear to ear and tapping the spot beside her as an invitation to the brunette. Rachel obliges. When she is settled, Quinn places one hand on the brunette's thigh and kisses her cheek.
"Thank you." She says sweetly.
"You're welcome." Rachel giggles. "Bed?"
"Yes!" Quinn says excitedly and drunkenly.
"I'm going to bed. Good night to you all." Kurt says, taking Blaine's hand and dragging him toward his room.
"Britts?" Santana shakes Brittany's shoulders. "Let's go to bed baby."
"Oh no… I want to dance more." She says sleepy. They all giggle, except Santana, she is melting. She holds Brittany hips and pulls her up.
"Baby, help me. Come on… don't you want to go to bed with me?" The blonde smiles with her eyes still closed.
"Okay." She wraps her arms around Santana's shoulder and they go to Santana's makeshift bedroom.
Rachel gets up and takes Quinn's hand. The blonde smiles and follows Rachel right away, which isn't a wise decision due the amount of alcohol on her system. She ends up stumbling on her own feet and falling into the floor.
"Oh my God! Quinn! Are you alright?"
"What was that?!" Kurt shouts from his bedroom.
"Quinn just fell…" Rachel says worriedly.
"I'm okay!" Quinn shouts playfully and then starts laughing.
"I can see that…" Rachel smiles as well. "Come on let me help you." Rachel holds Quinn's hand and tries to put her up but she fails miserably as she falls back hitting her ass on the floor. They look at each other for a moment, apparently enjoying their situation more than they should. What wouldn't happen if they were sober.
"And who is going to help you now?" Quinn asks playfully.
They both start laughing hard.
"Okay, wait ..." Rachel gets on her knees and using Quinn's shoulders as support she manages to stand up. She then pulls the blonde up, and they go to Rachel's bedroom.
"Oh! A bed!" Quinn throws herself on the bed playfully.
"You can't sleep with this dress."
"Why not?" She says with a muffed voice, head against the mattress.
"Because… Quinn..."
"What?"
"Come on…" Rachel climbs up the bed and get on her knees, trying to focus on Quinn's upper part. "I'm going to tickle you."
"Oh no! Don't even think about it." She rolls over.
"So take off the dress."
"If you want it so much, take it off yourself." She arches her brow seductively.
Was it an invitation? It was probably not, the alcohol is making her stupid. That must be it, Rachel thinks, because staring at Quinn's lips unceremoniously like she is doing now is the stupidest thing ever. But apparently the alcohol made her bold and fearless too, what other reason to explain what she is about to do.
"Rachel?" Quinn says with a barely there voice, her eyes focused on Rachel lips as they are getting closer and closer to hers.
"I…" When she is really close Rachel leans into Quinn faster and presses their lips together in a rush.
At first Quinn is taken aback but feeling Rachel lips for the first time is something so powerful that she immediately let herself dive into the kiss. Speaking of kissing Rachel for the first time… Wow! She can't even describe what it feels like; although she wishes they had done it sober. Is Rachel only doing it because she is drunk?
Damn! The kiss… Rachel is such a good kisser, she can't really think straight, she forgets about rational things and just focuses on those talented lips. It makes sense, Rachel is talented… So…
Stop it Fabray! Focus!
You're kissing Rachel! Oh my God! I'm kissing Rachel! Oh wow… oh God… oh fucking good…
Quinn lets out a moan as Rachel is massaging her tongue and drawing it across her lips into the warmth of Rachel's mouth to gently suck. As much as she is enjoying the whole thing something in the back of her mind tells her there is something wrong, especially when Rachel starts running her hand up Quinn's thigh and sliding the dress as she does so. Reluctantly, she releases her mouth and breaks the kiss.
"Rachel…"
Rachel doesn't stop the kiss she moves to Quinn's neck, sucking it slightly. Never stopping her hands ministrations.
"Rachel…" Quinn tries again.
But Rachel has just one thought on her intoxicated mind. She is going to have Quinn, even if only for one night. Santana had her, why can't she? Santana doesn't love Quinn the way Rachel loves her. All she wants is one night. Just one night.
"Rachel what are you doing?"
"I want you." She whispers.
"What?"
She pulls away and stares into Quinn's hazel eyes. They are not so hazel right now she notices. So she presses their lips together and moans as Quinn deepens the kiss, cupping Rachel's neck and pulling the brunette more into her. Rachel pulls away again and stares intensely at the other girl. She straddles the blonde completely and then captures the blonde's lips one more time. Never stopping the kiss she tries to reach the zipper of Quinn's dress, what is a hard task as Quinn is lying on her back.
"Rachel… I don't think this is…"
Rachel shuts her, kissing her passionately.
"They're going to hear us." Quinn blushes a little.
"So we'll have to be quiet." Rachel giggles and before she get back to kissing she takes off her shirt. Quinn licks her lips as her eyes rake Rachel's torso, but as her eyes focus on those four letters inked on Rachel's skin, she gets back to her senses.
"I don't…" Before she can protest Rachel leans and presses their lips together. "Rachel… I don't think… wait…" She pushes Rachel's shoulders and Rachel eyes open widely. "I don't want us to... I can't do this. I mean it's you. I can't just..."
"You can't have sex with me?" Rachel gets up and leaves the bed. "Why would you right?" She says it in a barely there voice.
"Rachel… We're drunk…" She sits up.
"You were drunk with Santana."
"What?!" Quinn shouts shocked, eyes wide open. "You're not Santana!"
"Yeah I'm aware." She says dejected. "You're not drunk enough to do it with me though."
"This is what this is about?" She runs her fingers through her hair. "You wanted to have drunk sex with me? Because that's what I do right?" She stands up roughly. "Just give her alcohol and she'll open her legs." She raises her hands furious.
"It worked for Puck and Santana." Rachel says bitterly.
As soon as it left her mouth she regrets she said those words. So what that she is feeling dejected and like shit. She had no right to throw that into Quinn.
"What?" Quinn asks, tears streaming down her face. Not because of what Rachel said, that was true, but because it was Rachel saying it, because she is devastated by the thought of Rachel only wanting her as a booty call or whatever. Maybe she just wanted a little bit of experimenting after all, she thinks about how sadly ironic this situation is.
"Nothing… I'm sorry…"
Rachel sobers up a little as she realized what she just said. But it is too late. Quinn looks around and wipes her tears. She takes her suitcase and starts walking away from Rachel.
"What are you doing?" The brunette asks terrified.
"I'm leaving."
"No you can't Quinn!"
Quinn ignores her.
"Wait, please, it's late... I'm sorry... I'm an idiot I know... Please stop." She starts crying as she keeps begging. "I'll sleep on the couch... Please, don't go."
"Stop right there Q?" Santana invades Rachel's bedroom. She looks at Rachel disapprovingly. "Berry is drunk, don't take her too seriously okay?" She says tenderly. "You can sleep with me and Britts."
"Santana is right Quinn." Kurt appears too. "And I told her she was drinking too much." He looks at Rachel, but differently from Santana he has sympathy in his eyes.
"You guys heard everything right?" Quinn asks sadly.
"It doesn't matter." He gets closer to the blonde. "We are a family remember?"
"Come on." Santana takes her hand and takes her to her bedroom.
Rachel throws herself on her bed and curls herself into a ball.
"Let's take these clothes off you." Kurt says caring.
"I ruined everything."
"You can apologize tomorrow. Now you have to sleep, and so do I…"
She nods weakly and then starts changing, when she finishes she throws herself into her bed and cries herself to sleep.
To top everything, she dreams about Finn. It is like he is trying to say something to her.
"Finn…"
She whines and fidgets in her bed.
"Finn…"
There he is, down the aisle, standing in his suit, lopsided smile in place. She tries to walk toward him, but she can't move. She screams his name, but it's useless as he seems farther and farther away. The door closes and she is outside, she hits her fist on the door harder and harder.
"Finn!" Her whimper is a little louder now. She closes her eyes and there's no door anymore. She is in a hospital and in front of her lying in a bed is Quinn.
"You did everything wrong." He says.
"I didn't want it Finn. I wanted to be in love with you and just you." The nurse gets concerned. Something is wrong. "What's wrong?" Rachel asks worriedly.
"You hurt her." He answers.
"I know…"
In her complete state of sleepiness Rachel couldn't have noticed two pairs of hazel eyes watching her attentively. Some time in the middle of the night, Quinn woke up with the sound of Rachel's voice. She stood up and went to see if the girl was okay. She isn't surprise to discover that Rachel still dreams about the boy. She thinks Rachel will probably never stop.
The sun rises.
She isn't running away, she just needs some time to herself, to be alone. She knows she can't really get mad at Rachel, they were both drunk. They just need time and space.
She writes a note and leaves.
Rachel hears the door and wakes up startled, she stands up quickly. Too quickly, she has to sit again to make the room stop spinning. She then invades Santana's room and sees Quinn is not there. She goes to the living room and panics.
She runs to the door and goes outside, no longer after and she gets back freezing. She didn't manage to catch Quinn.
"Kurt!" She shouts. A few seconds later the boy is up.
"What?" He asks concerned.
"Quinn? She is gone." She says worriedly.
"Did you see in the bathroom?"
"She is not there."
"What happened?" Santana appears in the living room.
"Quinn is not here." Kurt tells her.
"What's gotten into you by the way? What was that last night?" Santana asks upset.
"I don't know." She yells angry and pissed with herself. "I'm going to call her."
"Guys?" Blaine calls out. "Look." He points to the fridge. Kurt gets close and takes the note Quinn left to them.
Hi guys, I wanted to say thank you for the party. It was really great. I'm fine, really. No need to worry about me. I'm going back to New Haven, I just remembered that I have a lot of things to do. See you all really soon! Thanks again!
- Quinn.
"I need aspirin and some clothes." Rachel says eagerly.
"Why?"
"My head is killing me."
"No, the clothes." Kurt clarifies.
"I'm going after her. I can't let her go like this. Hurry guys!" She goes toward her bedroom.
"She might be in New Haven right now." Kurt ponders.
"No, she just left I heard the door. That's why I woke up!" she screams from her bedroom.
Few minutes later she bursts out of the room with some jeans and a random t-shirt. She puts on her couch and takes the glass Blaine is offering to her. She swallows the pills and ties her hair in a ponytail.
"Wish me luck." She says apprehensively.
"You're going to need." Kurt gestures to her outfit. Rachel rolls her eyes and walks toward the door.
"She is actually looking good." Santana checks her out. "Should dress like that more often Berry." Santana teases.
"What's up?" Brittany appears in the living room rubbing her eyes.
"Quinn left and Rachel is going after her." Santana explains shortly.
"Oh." She pouts.
Rachel opens the door and leaves.
She finds Quinn at the same platform they were a week ago. She breathes a sigh of relief when she sees the girl. Quinn has a cup of coffee on her hand and a sad expression on her face. It doesn't take too long for her to notice the brunette walking toward her.
She has to suppress a smile as she checks Rachel's outfit. Cutier than ever, she thinks and sighs sadly.
"Quinn."
"Rachel, I know why you're here I just…"
"I know you're upset. I was an idiot I know. I just… please don't go now. We need to talk."
"I'm not upset."
"You're leaving."
"Well, I can't stay forever." She smiles weakly as Rachel nibbles her lip nervously. "We were drunk Rachel. Let's forget about that okay?"
"I disrespected you."
"You didn't, you didn't force me to do anything okay?"
"Quinn…" She gulps. "I'm sorry I…"
"Rachel…"
Should she say the truth? She thinks about the lady in that jewelry store and about what she said about not letting it be a secret forever.
"I love you." She finally says.
"You don't have..." Quinn stops mid sentence. "What?"
"I was scared. I just found out I have this feelings for you, and I freaked out. I thought you might never feel the same way about me and then… Santana, I found out about you and Santana and I was so freaking jealous. Yes, it was because I had feelings for you, but it was also because I envied her. Because she had what I was never going to have. I know... I know... It's stupid. But I just want you to know that I love you... I do..."
She drops her eyes to the floor. Then she lifts her head and locks her eyes onto Quinn's.
"I love you."
Is she dreaming? Quinn starts thinking about last night and how everything seemed wrong, despite being good, because apparently they were both doing something neither one of them really wanted. Rachel didn't want to be just a one night stand and Quinn didn't want to have Rachel like that, all because they weren't honest with each other; and alcohol of course.
"You don't have to say anything, but I just wanted you to know that if you ever think that you might maybe give me a chance then…"
"I love you too." Quinn says as a smile starts appearing on her face. "I love you so much Rachel." She repeats happily.
Rachel stood there shell shocked, with her mouth open widely and eyes in a frenzy. The blonde shakes her head amused.
"I always have. I honestly don't know how you didn't notice it."
"I would never… Why you didn't say..."
"Finn?"
"Oh…" Rachel nods.
"I'm sorry I've been distant. Even though Puck and mom tried to convince me that I should tell you how I felt, I just couldn't. I was haunted by the thought that, I was going to be your second best. That if you ever allowed me the chance to be with you; I'd be taking his place."
"What? You wouldn't…"
"I went to a guilt trip after… You know… It was my fault Rachel. You didn't marry him because of me."
"How can you say that?" Rachel gets close and pulls the blonde into her. "Don't ever say that again. You were hurt; it was awful and quite frankly the worst day of my life." She hugs the blonde tight.
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize. I'm the one that needs to apologize here. I was a jerk last night."
Quinn pulls away.
"I'm scared Rachel."
"Of what?"
"I know I want you,"
Rachel starts laughing.
"What?"
"I can't believe you can possibly want me." She shakes her head.
"I do. I want you so bad, but…" She sighs. "I know you loved him too. I know it'll be hard for you to start a new relationship. I don't mind being your second best. I just… I don't want you to regret anything."
Rachel smiles. Second best?
"Take the train."
"Hm?" Quinn gets confused.
"I love you." She kisses Quinn's cheek. "Take that train. I'm going to prove something to you, but for now I want you to take that train, you have your grades to take care. If I remember well, you want to be top of your class Quinn Fabray."
"I…" Quinn nods smiling. "Okay."
When Quinn is about to enter in the train Rachel calls her out.
"Quinn?"
"Yeah?"
"It's a gardenia."
"What?"
"The flower."
"What flower?"
"The charm on the bracelet I gave to you. It's a gardenia."
She smirks pleased as she notices the look of confusion on the blonde girl's face.
Quinn gets inside, soon after the train leaves to New Haven and Rachel goes back to her apartment to think of ways to prove to Quinn that the blonde girl is not her second best.
Almost together right? Which means that unfortunately this fic is almost over, and by the way I have a proposition, I rated this fic as T and I want to leave it this way so I was thinking that maybe I can write a sequel (with one chapter only) rated M with their "First time" ( I have plans for that, Rated M plans…).
What do you guys think?
The song:
Perfume (Song by Britney Spears)