I promise, really promise that the next chapter will be posted this weekend. It'll be the last one before the epilogue.
Kurt is trying to make breakfast with Blaine's help as an attempt to placate his anxiety, Santana is staring at the door and Brittany is chewing on her nails frenetically.
So, in the moment she puts her feet inside the loft, Rachel is bombarded by four intensive eyes.
"So?" Kurt is the first to talk.
"What?" Rachel asks as she gets inside nonchalantly.
"Spit it out Rachel!" Santana says impatiently.
"Yeah, Rach we want to know. Is everything okay? Where's Quinn?" Brittany asks worried.
"Quinn is on her way to New Haven." Rachel informs them calmly.
"Oh." Brittany pouts as they all seem to get disappointed.
Rachel tilts her head to the side with a small smile on the corner of her lips.
"I have a question…" She trails off.
"Sure." Kurt nods patiently.
"How many of you knew that Quinn loved me? And for how long have you known?"
They all start talking at the same time.
"I didn't know for sure I just suspected. I had a confirmation when I went to New Haven last week." Kurt says showing disappointment on his voice.
"I know since forever." Brittany says beaming.
"I also suspected especially after we had sex, but I just found out after Kurt and herself told me." Santana says rather calm.
"I didn't know." Blaine is completely confused.
"Wait!" Kurt shouts. "How do you know she loves you?"
"Yeah…" Santana frowns waiting for Rachel's explanation.
Rachel allows herself to smile fully now.
"Well…" She trails off playfully. "She told me herself."
"Yay!" Brittany shouts happily.
"Your bitch, I'm dying here! Why didn't you tell us right away?" Kurt complains.
"You guys should've seen your faces." She giggles carefree and happy.
"Come on, details. What happened? And why she is on her way to New Haven by the way?" The fashionable boy asks eager.
"Because I asked her to."
"Wait." Santana holds a hand up. "Why did you do that? Did you dump her? Cause I swear-"
"No Santana I didn't dump her. Why would I do that?"
"So spit it out then!" Kurt demands.
"I said I love her." Rachel says as a wide smile spreads on her face.
"And?" Brittany is the one asking now.
"She said she loves me too, but then she started talking about how she felt after Finn… you know, that she got guilty."
"Yeah I know. That's why I went to New Haven."
"Why didn't you tell me Kurt?"
"I couldn't Rachel." He shrugs.
"It's okay." She nods to reassure him. "Anyway she said something…" She frowns thoughtful. "She said she is going to be my second best, but that she is okay with this. That's why I said to her to go back to New Haven."
"What, why?" Kurt asks truly curious.
"Yeah, why?" Blaine repeats his fiancé.
"You guys don't get it right?" She stares at them and lets out a sigh.
"I kind of do, but I think it'll be better if you explain to them." Brittany informs calmly and content, yes she kind of knows her friend pretty well. Quinn might look over confident sometimes but regarding her love life she is very insecure.
Telling Rachel that she is okay and that she is going to be second best is her way of saying that she needs Rachel to tell her that she is not Rachel's second best.
Rachel smiles at the blue eyed girl.
"Quinn is not my second best, because she was never a choice. I chose Finn." She says pensive.
They stare at her confusion all over their faces, except for Brittany that once again is the only one that understood what Rachel wanted to say.
Rachel looks at them and smiles tenderly as she starts musing. A tear streams down her face as she nibbles her lip, tearful, desolated and broken-hearted.
After his death, their relationship became some kind of immaculate assertion: Finn was her future. Sure, she used to think this way too, but now she knows that their paths as lovers had parted after their break up at the train station almost two years ago.
She realized it after the last time she slept with him, Finn and her were going to be friends for life, but he was not going to be the dream husband she fantasized so many times in high school.
She knew it for sure after she found out she was not pregnant and got relieved, but of course with the sorrow and the mourning even that was a reason for more tears as she kept thinking about the fact that she could have brought a little Finn Hudson to the world.
After he was gone she started to question everything and suddenly the only certain thing about her life was that Finn was going to be her husband someday, she even told Mr. Shuester about their plans.
Eventually she went on with her life, and even though she still feels the pain now and then, she came to see things more clearly as time has passed. Rationally thinking her wedding plans were very naïve when she thinks about it now.
But oh God! How she misses the boy.
My big and silly boy…
She thinks as she lifts her hands to her face and wipes the waterfall of tears that is streaming on her cheeks.
"Hey…" Kurt drops the spoon he was holding and hurries to her side caressing her arm. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. It's just that…" She sniffs her nose. "I was remembering him." She forces a smile as Brittany gets close to her too and embraces her shoulder. "I'm okay now." She reassures her friends. "As I was saying I chose Finn, I always saw him as the perfect one, he was charming and a good guy and very talented too." She smiles. "My perfect mate, but… with Quinn is… it's complicated it just happened."
"Okay, let's cheer up!" Kurt claps his hands. "You guys finally opened your hearts to each other. So, I want details." He beams. "Did you guys kiss?"
"Uh… Not exactly." Rachel informs, pressing her lips in a thin line.
"What you mean?" Santana asks intrigued.
"I told her I was going to prove to her that she is not my second best and that's why I said to her to go back to New Haven. Look, I screwed up last night okay. I want next time we kiss to be perfect as it should have been." She sighs in love. "Anyway, I need to think of ways to prove to her how much I love her."
"And how are you going to do that?"
Blaine asks excitedly, probably thinking about serenades, Santana thinks as she rolls her eyes at the boy.
"I…" She tugs her hair behind her ear. "I don't know actually."
"We'll think of something." Kurt says happily.
"Okay, now feed me. I'm hungry." Rachel demands playfully.
She is having a coffee break in a very charming café that she loves located inside the campus when she receives a text from Rachel. She stops her reading and checks the message.
Rachel: Sorry to ask, but are you out to your mother? Or did I get it wrong?
She giggles and starts typing her answer.
Quinn: Yes I came out to her
Rachel: Really? And she was ok with it?
Quinn: Surprisingly, yes, I mean she didn't kick me out of the house :-)
Rachel: Haha
Quinn: But why are you asking me this?
Rachel: My dads, I was thinking about how they'll react
Quinn: What you mean? I'm sure they're going to be supportive
Rachel: It's not that, it's complicated…
Quinn: I'm gonna call you now
Before Rachel could answer Quinn calls her.
"Hi." Rachel says serenely.
"Hi."
"Where are you? Am I interrupting something?"
"No, that's why I called. I'm just having coffee… I'm on a break, just relaxing and reading a book… no big deal."
"Oh. Sorry to bother you then."
"You are not, so, your dads…" Quinn brings up the subject before Rachel could avoid it.
"Mm, yeah my dads."
"Why do you think it's complicated?"
"It's not because they won't accept it." She giggles."It wouldn't make any sense."
"Yeah…"
"I tell everything to my dads… but I wasn't completely honest about certain things." She sighs."They'll be fine I guess, but… I don't know…"
"What things you weren't completely honest?"
"Well, mostly my feelings for you."
Hearing that makes a big smile appear on Quinn's face.
"This has been a big confusion to me, but I never opened myself to them."
"They love you Rachel, it's going to be okay."
"I know." she gets silent for a moment. "Do you know what I just found out?"
"What?"
"I love your voice."
Quinn lets out a laugh, blushing slightly as she looks around.
"You just found out?"
"I mean I'm referring to your phone voice, because I already was crazy about your voice."
"Really?" Quinn says huskily.
"Oh yes this one." She says smoothly. "Although I do love your baby voice too."
"Baby voice? I don't have baby voice."
"Yes you do." Rachel giggles. "It's pitched, but I don't hear it for some time I mean you're not sixteen anymore." She pauses musing something over. "I'll have to annoy you."
"And why is that?"
"Well, it used to get really high when we were arguing with each other."
"Rachel!" Quinn cries out making her voice higher than normal and she can't contain her laugh.
"See? Like that…" Rachel giggles carefree.
"Silly…"
"Okay, I'll hang out before you get tired of me."
"It didn't happen in high school I'm sure it won't happen now."
"I don't want to push my lucky."
"Okay."
"Bye Quinn."
The blonde sighs chewing her lips nervously. She wants to give herself to Rachel wholeheartedly, but she still is getting used to the fact that Rachel has feelings for her too. Truth is that she still is thrilled with her birthday's night and the morning after events. Even though it was not as she had fantasized, she only can describe it as a dream coming true. She kissed Rachel after all.
"Bye." She says shyly as something occurs to her. "Rach?"
"Yeah?"
"Why didn't you kiss me? I mean at the train station. Not that I'm complaining, I'm really happy that you love me…" She stutters and goes on with her ramble. "I mean you love me right? I… I-I don't want to push you or anything…"
"Quinn…" Rachel interrupts the blonde.
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
Quinn shrugs and sinks into her chair, feeling a little of glee, exhilaration and relish.
"I didn't kiss you because I want the next time we kiss to be perfect as it should've been; no alcohol involved and no goodbye as well." She pauses. "Although I have to say, wow!" She adds playfully. "You kiss wonderfully. You're just perfect."
"I was drunk."
"I can't wait to kiss you when you're sober then."
"I like this plan." Quinn says happily.
"Good. Text me when you get in your dorm?"
"Okay and hey…"
"Hm?"
"I love you too."
She hangs up her phone smiling from ear to ear. Everything is perfect. She is happy and life's good.
Late in the night when she is about to get ready to bed she decides to get on line for while. She knows she won't find Rachel on Facebook as the brunette still doesn't have an account.
She smiles at Brittany's status saying that she is missing Santana and can't wait to be back to the city. She sees some pictures from her birthday and stops in one she took with Rachel, she already saw the picture, but now it has a new comment.
Puck: Hot
She adds a comment too.
Quinn: Idiot
Puck: Why? I was just saying you look hot.
Quinn: Yeah right…
He calls her on the chat and they talk a little as he is eager to know all the details about her birthday. She told everything to him a few days ago and now he is more anxious than her to find out what Rachel is planning.
Puck: I still can't believe you just didn't go for it and kissed her!
Quinn: I know! I was insecure I guess and besides she told me she wants it to be special
Puck: Boo! Anyway… your loss, Rachel's a great kisser bet she is even better now
Quinn: She is…
Quinn: Hey! What you mean Rachel is a great kisser?
Puck: You can't complain you weren't into her back then
Quinn: I've been always into her somehow puck
Puck: Yeah but, you were playing house with Finn so we figured we could have some fun I mean until Rachel decided she just wanted Finn
Puck: Fuck! I'm so stupid! So sorry
Quinn: It's ok…
Quinn: I know I'll never replace Finn…
Puck: You don't have to Quinn, she loves you. She said so herself, and everything else is in the past.
Puck: Ok?
Quinn: Ok…
Quinn: I have to go. I have classes in the morning
Puck: Ok
They say good bye, on line chats fashion and when she is about to leave Santana sends a message.
Santana: Now that you're out I think I can ask you something
Quinn: What?
Santana: Check this out
Quinn: Haha you've always sent me lesbian porn videos San me being straight or gay…
Santana: It's not porn I swear…
Quinn: Ok
She checks out and as soon as the video starts and she hears those characteristics moans she asks herself why she still believes Santana and yes it's porn...yet again.
Quinn: Haha
Santana: What?
Santana: Oh! Sorry Q wrong link…
Quinn: Yeah right… you know what I just realized?
Santana: You're frigid?
Quinn: Hahaha
Quinn: Seriously though, I never really believed you, but I always opened those links you sent me. I thought I was curious, sure I was, but you know, it was something else too…
Santana: Gay!
Santana: But it really was the wrong link, I wanted you to see this one
Quinn checks out, and now it's not porn, not completely anyway. She checks out the picture of the naked woman on her screen and she might be getting a little turned on.
Quinn: Hot
Santana: Gay
She rolls her eyes amused.
Quinn: What's with the pic?
Santana: Brittany thinks she is hot, but I think she is ok no big deal. I'd rather my woman anyway…
Quinn: This "woman" is Brittany you're talking about right?
She teases her friend.
Santana: Of course! who else?
Quinn: I don't know… you have so many women
Santana: haha
Santana: Hey, showed to Rachel now and she thinks she is no big deal too…
Quinn: you showed it to Rachel?!
Santana: Yeah, why?
Quinn: Nothing…
She huffs.
Santana: Jealous?
Quinn: not that…
Santana: Already told Rachel you're jealous ;)
She curses under her breath. What has she done to deserve such friends? Although she really can't imagine her life without Santana and Brittany.
Quinn: anyway, I have to go… I'll wake up very soon tomorrow.
Santana: Nerd
They say good bye and she shuts down her lap top. She leans her head on her pillow and falls asleep, happy and peacefully.
"Look at you… all happy and carefree…"
"What?"
She sits in a rush. She looks around and notices with a frown in her forehead that she is in not in her dorm and not even in her old bedroom.
"Comfortable?"
She looks at where the voice is coming from and gasps; he is standing close to the window, hands on the wall and eyes glazing somewhere outside.
"This used to be my spot you know?" He turns around and faces her.
"I…"
She scans the room. She's seen it before… but where? Something to do with Myspace…Of course, Rachel's bedroom!
"Looks like you're very comfortable in there. It took you what? A few months? A few months and you're already taking my girl."
"It's not like that… Finn I can…"
"Rachel is my girl Quinn," He cuts her off. "She'll always be my girl, there's nothing you can do to change that. You're just going to be her second best."
"No! She loves me… she said to me… she loves…"
"I thought you were my friend." He shakes his head disapprovingly. "You've always wanted us apart. You weren't happy to see us together. You always wanted me out of your way. Congratulations Quinn, I'm out of your way…"
"No… I didn't want it… Finn… Please believe me…"
She wakes up covered in sweat.
Nauseous and overwhelmed she sits up and wraps her arms around her legs, leaning her head on her knees. Is still dark outside, but she knows she won't be able to fall asleep again, besides her alarm will go off in an hour or so. She cries, images of the boy invading her mind.
"You're just going to be her second best."
As much as she knows that she shouldn't be like this. That she shouldn't feel guilty, she can't help this feeling. She knows that that wasn't Finn but just her subconscious bringing up what is going through her mind, but it still hurts.
She can only hope that she will manage to get through it, because she really wants Rachel. She's always wanted Rachel.
"Something is wrong, I can tell…"
She paces in the living room.
"Rachel, we'll figure something out, just don't-"
"She is not answering my calls Kurt. And whenever I text her she just sends a short reply. There's something wrong." She cuts him off.
"I'll talk to her okay? I'll try to find out if something's up…" Kurt reassures her.
"You don't have too."
Santana joins them in the living room her phone on her ear.
"So did you find it? Okay great. Now come on up." She hangs up her phone, turns to Rachel and stares at the other brunette for a moment. "I know what's going on."
"You do?" Kurt frowns.
"She told you some..." Rachel is interrupted by a loud bang on the door.
"Something like that." Santana smirks as she goes toward the door and opens it.
"Hello there!"
"Puck!"
Kurt and Rachel shout at the same time as both run at the boy who has a very pretty blonde in his arms.
"Oh my God!"
Rachel beams at the girl.
"Beth! How do you… where's Shelby?"
"Well, I came to visit my baby girl and I sort of asked her if I could bring baby Beth to see her sister." He smiles at his daughter as he fixes the straps of the bag he is carrying with all the supplies for the little girl, including her favorite teddy bear. "It's just for a few hours though."
"Hi Beth…" Rachel smiles her big smile at the girl. "Come to me." She opens her arms. "Do you want to come with your sister?"
The blonde girl stares at her for a moment and then decides she wants to give the silly girl who looks so much like her mom a try.
Once she is in Rachel's arms Beth keeps staring curiously at the brunette.
"I think she is curious as to why I am so alike her mom." Rachel smiles as they all get back to the living room. "You are very alike to someone yourself lady. She is very pretty you know…" Rachel kisses Beth's cheeks.
"Pretty." The blonde girl says. "You pretty."
"Aw… Thanks."
"A piano!" She points to where the piano is a big smile on her face. "I want play."
"Shelby is teaching you right I can see." Rachel smiles prideful and puts the girl on the floor. She holds her tiny hand and they walk toward the piano.
"Well, nice to see you too Rach."
"Shut up and come here." She demands and when Puck gets close they hug each other. "But tell me what are you doing here?"
"As I said I came to see Beth but also her stubborn mother." They all get curious. "The blonde one." He clarifies.
"Why?"
Rachel asks and he looks at Santana as the Latina nods her head supportive.
"A couple of months ago she started dating a douche guy she met at Yale. The guy is Russel Fabray in progress." He shakes his head upset and Rachel has a flashback of the day she went to see Quinn. "Anyway, she introduced him to me a little short after Finn… you know… needless to say it ended up pretty bad. I confronted her and we argued but then she finally opened herself to me. She told me about her feelings for you, and that she was only dating him as an attempt to forget about you and to try and be normal." He sighs. "I know, but don't judge my baby mama, you guys have no idea what it was like for her to grow up in that family."
Rachel nods knowingly.
"But she said her mother is okay."
"Oh yes sure, Judy is completely okay, but she was scared of coming out. My point is that I am here in a mission. After everything Quinn started feeling guilty about her feelings for you, that's why she wanted to forget about you. She thought it was her fault because she shouldn't have wished to be in his place."
"I told she shouldn't feel this way, it wasn't her fault." Kurt states.
"Of course it wasn't and it doesn't make any sense." Rachel says frustrated.
"Listen," Santana interjects. "I can understand her. I'm not proud of it, but I can't count the times I imagined all sort of bad things happening to Artie and even Sam when they were dating Brittany."
Rachel nibbles her lip a pensive look on her face as Beth plays random accords. She then looks at the girl and smiles.
"I just had an idea to the whole prove my love to her plan. And you'll help me Noah."
"Sure thing."
"How is she?" Quinn asks her visitor, her arm wrapped around his arm as they walk around the campus. It's almost Spring but it's still pretty cold.
"Beautiful. Every day she is more like you." He pushes her with his shoulder. "So, this is Yale after all." She nods. "Where are the hot chicks?"
"Well there's one right here by your side."
"Where?" He pretends to look around and she beats him.
"Kidding, you know I think you're hot."
"Yeah, but my heart belongs to someone else."
"Precisely." He nods. "Which leads us to the reason why I am here, besides Beth of course."
"You didn't want to see me?" She pouts.
"I only care about my daughter you know that." He teases. "Anyway, don't change the subject." He says serious. "What are you doing Quinn?"
"What do you mean?"
"Rachel, you're avoiding her again. You promised it was just a nightmare and that you were going to handle it. Well, I don't think you are."
"Puck… I… I didn't do it on purpose. I just… I don't know."
He stops walking and places his hands on her shoulders tenderly.
"Listen up. He's gone. There's nothing we can't do about it. We loved him and I know he loved us, but we have to move on. Yes, he loved Rachel and I'm sure that all he wants wherever he is now is her happiness. And Rachel loves you Quinn, I know. I wouldn't give you away to just anybody and I saw in her eyes. She loves you. You won't be betraying him; you will be honest with yourself. You love her. You can't change that."
"Thanks." She says as tears stream down her face.
"What for?"
"For coming."
He hugs her tight.
"I made a promise to the big guy. That's Finn by the way."
She giggles into his arms.
"I won't be that douche anymore. I'm no longer that douche Quinn. And I know you'll be there for me when I need too."
"Yes I will." She sighs.
"Now stop being an idiot, and go get your girl."
She smiles at him genuinely and he wipes her tears.
After Puck leaves her she immediately calls Rachel.
"Quinn?"
"Yeah it's me…"
"I'm sorry-"
"It's not-"
They speak at the same time.
"Noah came over." Rachel starts talking again.
"I know. He was here, he just left."
"Quinn why didn't you open up to me?"
"I was…" She sighs. "I'm sorry I shut you out."
"I was going there, but Noah said he could handle it, that you'd listen to him. I confess I got a little jealous…"
"Really?"
"Yes…"
"You don't have too. We're just friends I guarantee you."
"I'm still jealous though. I miss you."
"I miss you too. You could just maybe come over?" She says playfully. "You know you don't have to do anything Rachel. I love you."
"I do. I do because I love you and I don't want you to doubt that. You are…" She sighs. "You are so worthy to me Quinn, you are beautiful on the inside and of course you're stunning and gorgeous, but what I like the most about you is that you have the most beautiful and expressive eyes I've ever seen. When I look into them I can see you."
"I want to kiss you so much right now."
"Me too. I mean, I want to kiss you. Not myself that would be kind of difficult…"
Quinn giggles happily.
"Anyway… uh…"
"You're so cute."
Quinn says loving and reverently.
"You're making me blush."
"I didn't think that was possible." She says teasingly.
They talk some more and Quinn reassures Rachel that she won't shut her out again. But eventually they have to hang out to go back to their responsibilities.
"We're here!"
"Hi Dads!"
Rachel shouts happily as she embraces her two dads.
"Hey Mrs Berrys!" Kurt welcomes the two men. "Please take a sit." He turns to Rachel. "We're going to give you guys some privacy, but we'll be back."
"Oh God…" Leroy places a hand on his chest. "It's that serious?"
"Leroy don't be a drama queen…" Hiram rolls his eyes.
"As you one to say…"
Kurt takes Santana's hand. "Let's go."
"Why?" She asks annoyed and he glares at her. "Fine." She raises her hand up.
"Bye guys."
"Bye Kurt, Bye Santana." Leroy and Hiram say at the same time.
The two leave. Rachel sits on the armchair and her dads sit on the couch.
"So," She rubs her thighs. "We need to talk. And I didn't want to do it on the phone."
"Okay."
Hiram says nodding his head as Leroy mimics his motions. She runs her fingers on her hair pondering how she will start the conversation.
"You're not wearing the bracelet." Leroy points out.
"What bracelet?" She asks confused.
"You didn't receive it? Hiram you said you sent it."
"I sent it Leroy. Just as Rachel told me."
"Oh that…" Rachel smiles. "It wasn't for me… it was a gift, a gift to a very especial girl." She says suggestively. "It was to Quinn, to her birthday."
"Oh Quinn." Hiram smiles. "How is she?"
"Dreamy as ever." Rachel says without thinking.
"Rachel Berry!" Hiram reprimands her. "Are you reusing gifts? I know you're in New York and you have yours expenditures, but you could have asked us money."
Rachel looks at him, mouth wide open. For a moment there she thought he had figured out.
"I bought it for her." She informs them calmly.
"Now you don't have to fool your dads pumpkin that bracelet was in your room, safely inside your closet." Hiram winks at her playfully.
"We know you bought it years ago. We used to pay your credit card remember? So, what's the matter? Why this mystery, what do you want to say to us that you needed us to come here? What's so important?"
"Calm down Leroy. Just breath honey." Hiram squeezes his husband arm and then turns to Rachel. "So?"
She nibbles her lip.
"I really bought it to her."
"Quinn?" Hiram asks and she nods. "We got it. But what do you want to tell us?"
"Remember when she had the accident?"
Both men nod as they remember that day.
"I wanted to give it to her back then."
"Oh." Hiram nods though he is a little confused.
"Oh, what stopped you?" Leroy is not that confused.
"Fear…" Rachel glances at Leroy as he is thoughtful she can almost hear his mind trying to figure out the whole thing.
"Is that a flower on the bracelet? The charm?" He asks.
"Fear? But why?" Hiram asks clueless.
"Yes, a gardenia…" She answers, eyes on her hand, suddenly her nails become very interesting.
"Well, it makes sense. I mean that whole day makes sense to me now." Leroy says exhaling heavily.
"What you're talking about?" Hiram faces his husband. Leroy doesn't answer; he looks at Rachel waiting for her.
Rachel takes a deep breath and finally says what she should have said to them years ago.
"I'm in love with Quinn."
I thought it would be important to have this chapter as a bridge as Quinn was certainly not going back to New York right away as she has her college. But next chapter will contain all the resolutions.
You might want to leave a review so i can know if I'm getting it right.