JJ woke up to the sound of a loud crash coming from another room. She screwed her eyes for a second, not even wanting to look over to Spencer's pen, knowing he wouldn't be there. She glanced over and sure enough, not only was Spencer not in the damn pen, the stupid thing was knocked over! Soon enough she heard faint grunt and stiffled cries and she jumped from bed and dashed from the room to the source of the commotion. The kitchen.
When JJ saw her kitchen she thought she was going to have a conipition. A chair had been dragged over to the counter, many of the cabinets were left wide open, there was fallen food items everywhere and worst of all, there were coffee grounds spilled EVERYWHERE. Sitting on a counter in the middle of it was none other then a two year old Spencer Reid, whe had an empty coffee contianer on his head and was struggling to get it off.
"Spence... what the hell did you DO!?" JJ shrieked, rushing over to help him with the container. He tried to wiggle away from her. "Hold still!" JJ yanked the container off his head.
Spencer looked up at her, his big eyes filled with tears of frustration. He was covered in coffee grounds. He had coffee grounds in his hair, which was much longer now. His hair was nearly to his shoulders and all of it had coffee grounds tangled into it. There was coffee grounds in his clothing, rubbing against his soft, gentle skin. He has not happy.
"I wanted some cowwee!" He whimpered up at her before recongize his speech error. "Coffee." He said again, slowly this time.
"SPENCE! You know you can't have coffee yet! How did you even manage to- You know what? Nevermind." JJ pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. "I have to get you into a bath." She picked him up and he immediantly started to struggle.
"NO!" Spencer shrieked and JJ shushed him.
"Look, Spence, I know you don't like it but your a kid. You can bathe yourself now but I have to watch you."
"WHA'!" Reid squeaked with wide eyes.
"I have to Spence, your my responsibility." JJ said and Spencer stopped struggling and pouted instead.
"I ha'e you." Spencer scowled.
"You love me." JJ smiled and carried him over to the bathroom. She sat him down and started a bath. "I'm going to get you some clothes. Don't go anywhere. I MEAN IT, SPENCE."
As soon as JJ left Spencer started to work at the buttons on his oncie. He couldn't argue with her on this one, he needed a bath. Spencer found that he was unable to unsnap the buttons on his oncie to get it off. This frustrated him and his two year old body responsed with tears. He was whining and trying the get himself undressed with tears in his eyes when JJ came back.
"Awww... are you having trouble, Spence?" JJ sat the clothes aside and knelt down by Spencer and helped him with getting the oncie off.
"Don' talk ta me like dat!" Spencer fumed, standing up.
"Sorry, Spence, your just so cute and small." JJ frowned and ran a hand through his hair. "You need a hair cut."
"JJ!" Spencer whined, swatting at her hand.
"Okay, okay, Sourpuss." JJ said before going and turning the water off and pointing at the tub. "Get the diaper off and climb in." Spencer nodded and did as he was told.
JJ got out a towel and layed it over the toliet. She sat down and watched Spencer. At first Spencer was very uncomfortable with being watched but between the warm water and scrubbing himself down he calmed down. By the time Reid had finished getting the grounds out of his hair the water was starting starting to resemble very thin, soapy coffee. Spencer looked up at JJ.
"I'm bathin' in cowfee. Is dis a dweam, JJ?" Spencer asked and JJ laughed before picking the child up and placing him on towel and rapping him in it.
"Very funny, Spence." JJ started to drain the water before looking at Spencer as he tried to dry himself. "I have to go clean up that mess you made, can you get dressed on your own?" Spencer nodded and JJ left.
After he was well dried Spencer got dressed. He was dressed in in a pair of pull ups, buttonless shorts and a shirt that said 'I'm a genius.' He itched at his shoulder and pants line. These clothes were REALLY itchy...
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JJ heard the pitter patter of feet and turned towards the sound, expecting a nice fully dressed Spencer. That was not what she found.
"Spence, why are you wearing only a towel?" JJ sighed as she laid eyes on Spencer.
"Dose clothes wer' itchy!" Spencer whined and looked at her with big eyes.
"Spence, you have to wear them."
"No!" Spence ran off, dropping the towel behind him.
"SPENCER!"
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Garcia walked up the JJ's house, a toystore bag in hand. She had stumbled upon something for Spencer and HAD to get it to him. She heard shouting from within the house. It wasn't crazy fight shouting, but it was curious. She opened the door, knowing it wasn't locked. She was greated with a bizzare, but rather entertianing sight.
JJ was chasing a now stark naked two year old Reid. She was shouting at him about 'You have to wear them!' and 'Stopping running!' as she chased him. Reid sometimes knocked something over in a attempt to slow JJ down. From the appearance of the living room he had done this a few times. Before Garcia knew which way was up she had a small, naked two year old barreling at her.
"Hewp, Garcia, JJ has gowne crawzy!" Spencer said, hiding behind her legs.
"Spencer, you have to wear clothes!" JJ huffed.
"No, I don't wan' to!" Spencer whined at her before trying to use reason. "Dose clothes are itchy. My skin has been agitated by dose cowfee gwounds. I could get a wash."
"Spence, don't try to logic me. You won't get a rash and you know it. You have to wear clothes."
"Come on, JJ, let him be naked." Garcia snickered.
"Garcia, please don't incourage him." JJ said before grabbing Spence and lifting him off the ground.
"No!" Spencer screeched, kicking and flailing out his tiny feet out.
"Hey, hey, calm down. Maybe I could help?" Garcia said in an attempt to keep the peace.
"How?"
"Weeellllll," Garcia started to rumage around in the bag she was carrying with her. She pulled out an outfit. "Maybe he could try this on? I saw it and a couldn't resist."
"Okay." Spencer grabbed the clothes before squirming from JJ's arms and running into the bathroom.
"So... how is your morning?" Garcia giggled at JJ, who rubbed her face with both hands.
"Spencer is being a pain. I know he doesn't mean anything by it but..."
"I understand, let me help you clean up." Garcia walked into the living room and started picking up knocked over objects before laying eyes on the kitchen. "What the hell HAPPENED?"
"Spencer wanted coffee." JJ huffed and grabbed the broom to continue to sweep up coffee grounds.
"Awwww." Garcia giggled.
"It's not funny!" JJ said, but a smile was on her face.
"We knew this wasn't going to be easy, JJ." Garcia tilted her head at the other blonde woman. "Plus, you know what they say about the terrible twos."
"Yeah, I know. Henry was like a tiny terrorist and given our line of work, I would know." JJ rolled her eyes.
"I'm sowwy I made a big mess JJ." A soft vioce rang out. They turned and saw Spencer, standing, now dressed in the outfit Garcia got him, looking guilty and shuffling his feet slightly. "I don' know wha' came ovew me."
"I know, Spence, you didn't mean anything by it." JJ said. "Your adult brain has needs your body doesn't know how to deal with and your body has desires and emotions your adult brain can't handle."
"Dis sucks!" Spencer pouted.
"Yes, it does." JJ nodded. "But how about we use some nicer words? We talked about this, Spence."
"What does 'sucks' mean?" Henry's vioce came and they turned their heads to look at him. "I hear kids on the school bus say it but my teacher says we aren't allowed to say that. She's says it's not a good word."
"It, uh, nevermind that. What do you want for breakfast?" JJ smiled at him, hoping to change the subject.
"Ummmm... Waffles!" Henry grinned.
"Waffles it is! Now go sit down, and I'll put some waffles in the toaster as soon as I'm done cleaning." JJ said and Henry nodded and trotted off to the dining table. "You see what I mean?" JJ looked at Reid and pionted at Henry.
"Yes m'am." Spencer said before trotting off after Henry and sitting next to him.
"So your two now?" Henry asked Reid.
"Mhm." Spencer nodded.
"You wanna play with Legos later? Mommy got me the big kind that little kids that are under like eight years old can play with. Mommy says I can't have the little ones yet because I could choke on 'em." Henry said, swinging his feet back and forth.
"Suwe." Reid nodded and smiled.
"We could build a tower!"
"Yeah!" Spencer grinned, unsure why this prospect seemed so exciting.
"It'll be so much fun. After that we can play with cars!"
"You two having fun over here?" Garcia questioned, walking over to the two small children.
"Mhm, me and Uncle Spencer are gonna play a bunch today." Henry grinned at Garcia.
"Sounds awesome! How many kids can say they played with their two year old godfather?"
"I don't think any can but me!" Henry laughed.
"Interesting life we lead." JJ grinned, carrying over two plates of already cut up waffles over and sitting infront of the two children.
"Waffles!" The two proclaimed before digging in.
"Little Genius needs a hair cut." Garcia observed as the two younger people ate.
"Yeah, he does."
"Can I do it?"
"W-what!?" Spencer gawked at Garcia with wide eyes.
"Come on, Mini Junior G-Man." Garcia grinned.
"Either she does it or I do, Spence and we both know why Will or a barber cuts Henry's hair."
"Fine. Garcia can do it." Spencer huffed and ate a piece of waffle.
"Oh yay! I will make you look fabulious, Baby Einstien!"
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"My haiw." Spencer whined, running a hand through his now short locks.
"Oh shush, you look ah-mazing!" Garcia grinned, patting the tots head.
"I like my hair long." He pouted.
"I know you do, Sweetie Heart, but you looked like a little girl with yout hair that long." Garcia laughed when Spencer pouted in response.
"Is it done?" JJ asked walking in, Henry in tow.
"Mhm." Garcia nodded.
"She chopped it all off." Spencer pouted.
"Spence you have had your hair short before!"
"Yeah, like thwee times but den I let it gwow out!" Spencer continued to pout.
` "Well I think it looks cool!" Henry grinned.
"You do?"
"Yeah!"
"Otay den." Spencer said before nodding. "You wan' to go pway now?"
"Yeah!" And with that the two little boys ran off.
"They are adorable." Garcia giggled.
"Try living with them. Another day like this and I going to have to ground Reid intill he is nine."
##################################################################################
"Mommy." Henry whispered, pulling on his mothers shirt.
"What is it Henry? Why are you whispering?" JJ asked, looking down at her son.
"Uncle Spence fell asleep while we was playing trucks." Henry whispered and JJ smiled and shook her head.
"Okay, Sweet heart." JJ smiled and went to retrieve Reid. Sure enough, Spencer was passed out on the floor of Henry's room with toy cars and trucks around him. "Awwwwhhh." JJ cooed before gently picking Spencer up and taking him to her room and laying him in bed. She knew there was no piont of keeping in the pen anymore, he would just escape. She was just glad Will was away on a trip with some of his old cops buddies.
It was been a long day. After the mess was cleaned up, Spencer behaved relitively well. There was a few fights over the color cordination of the blocks in the tower that Henry and him had built but everything was otherwise fine. She just hope tomorrow would over all go as smoothly as this afternoon had. This wasn't going to be as easy as they thought.
AUTHORS NOTE:
Sorry if this sucks! I really want to write a humor story, but I'm better at drama :P I'm really trying here! So if anyone has any humor tips, I'm all ears. I don't however need to be told to spellcheck. I don't have it so I'm doing the best I can spelling wise. R&R! :D