Act of Remembrance

Chapter 2

For the next hour Steve typed like a man possessed only stopping briefly a couple of times to pour himself a cup of coffee. On one occasion when he had poured his fourth cup he had glanced up and caught Mike's eye and only then did he put his head around the door frame to ask if Mike would like a cup. When Mike declined his offer graciously he had forced a smile and returned to his desk to resume his arduous task. As soon as he had finished typing the last letter on his report though tiredness begin to creep up on him and the excess caffeine was only making him more edgy. Brushing both hands through his hair he leaned back in his chair and stretched his back to ease his aching muscles. Then he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand to try to ease out those stiff muscles as well. He was glad the first report was finished but frowned as he remembered that he had still a second one to complete. But before he could turn his thoughts to the task at hand the dark cloud descended on him again and staring at the top drawer in his desk for a few moments, he leaned over and opened it slowly. He rummaged for a few seconds before his hand finally found the picture he was looking for. As he stared sadly at the picture a lump formed in his throat and tears threatened to appear. The phone call he had received two days earlier had dredged up some bad memories and while he had been grateful to the caller for the information he had received it had brought the guilt and upset of the past back to the forefront of his mind where it had remained and continued to torture him. Not that he had ever truly forgotten what had happened a year ago but he had managed to lock it away inside and carry on but now it was back to haunt him. He was slightly annoyed that no-one else had remembered. That no-one other than him and the caller seemed to care. Well he cared and despite his best efforts to try to not let his feelings get in the way of his work it was really getting to him more than he cared to admit.

Mike had observed Steve closely and noticed his tired stretches. The amount of coffee his young partner was consuming bothered him too. Knowing Steve as well as he did, he knew that the only time Steve ever consumed that much coffee was when he was desperately trying to keep himself awake! He decided there and then that the young man needed a good night's sleep and stood up to go out and insist on driving Steve home but he stopped abruptly where he stood when he noticed that Steve was staring at something very intently. Mike did not like the faraway and forlorn look in Steve's eye and yet from his office he couldn't see what Steve was looking at. Wondering if he should interrupt Steve or not Mike finally decided that he had to get to the bottom of whatever was upsetting his young partner and so he headed out of his office under the pretence of pouring himself a cup of coffee.

Out of the corner of his eye Steve saw Mike approaching and quickly buried the picture back in the drawer and closed it swiftly. Then he opened up his notebook and began reading the notes he had taken at the second crime scene ready to type them into his report. The action was not lost on Mike who became even more curious now about what had held Steve's attention so closely. Mike could see that Steve was purposefully avoiding eye contact with him and decided that it was time to try to talk to him again. Having poured his coffee Mike headed straight over to Steve's desk and sat on the corner of it drinking from his cup and observing Steve closely.

Steve had hoped that Mike would retreat back into his office with his coffee but cursed his luck when he saw Mike heading straight over to him instead. Knowing how perceptive Mike was Steve was anxious that Mike would sense the upset that the picture had evoked and quickly grabbed some paper off his desk and spun quickly around to his typewriter with his back to Mike and proceeded to place the paper in it ready for typing. Mike smiled at Steve's diversionary tactics. He knew Steve better than he knew himself and knew that he was trying to act normally so as not to alert Mike to what was really going on inside his head. Sometimes he wished that Steve would open up more about things that bothered him instead of always bottling them up inside and trying to deal with things on his own." You're not getting off that easy this time buddy boy "Mike thought to himself.

"How are those reports coming along buddy boy ?" Mike asked studying his young partner closely.

Hoping that his voice would not betray the emotions he felt Steve cleared his throat and spoke as normally as he could.

"I have the first one done and I'm just starting the second one now. You know I can finish up here if you want to head home Mike ?" Steve asked as he could almost feel Mike's piercing blue eyes burning a hole in his back.

"No. It's alright buddy boy. I think I'll stick around a bit longer. But thanks for the offer anyway!"

Steve heard the determination in Mike's voice and knew then that Mike was going to try to talk to him again about what was bothering him and he stopped typing and sighed and feeling the tension in his neck return he reached his hand up again and proceeded to knead his aching muscles.

"Your neck sore? Here let me take a look." Mike asked and before Steve had a chance to protest Mike had stood up and standing behind him proceeded to massage Steve's shoulders and neck.

"It's ok Mike." Steve said grabbing Mike's hand to stop him. But Mike merely removed Steve's hand and continued his ministrations.

"It's most certainly not ok Steve. You're wound tighter than a two dollar watch buddy boy. Your neck muscles are tied up in knots!"

After a few minutes Mike's strong hands had eased out the painfully tight muscles in his shoulders and neck and feeling Steve's tension ease a little Mike stopped his ministrations and seizing his opportunity Mike patted the young man's shoulder and spoke softly.

"Are you ready to tell me yet what's chewing on you buddy boy? Must be something pretty big to cause muscle knots like this. Huh?"

Steve had anticipated the question and knew he wasn't ready to share with Mike what was on his mind just yet so instead he half-glanced over his shoulder at his mentor and friend and answered as convincingly as he could.

"I'm just tired that's all Mike. It's nothing to worry about."

Then seeing a disappointed look cross Mike's face and feeling guilty for not confiding in his partner he tried to lighten the mood and added.

"My neck is feeling a lot better though. You know if you ever quit your day job you might just consider that as a career choice!"

Mike smiled at Steve's comment but deep down he was slightly disappointed that Steve hadn't felt able to tell him what was bugging him. Seeing the tiredness etched on his partners face and feeling deflated at the evenings turn of events Mike patted Steve on the shoulder once more and spoke.

"Very funny wise guy! Come on! Let's call it a day. It's almost two am . You look done in and I feel about the same. Let's go home and try to catch up on some sleep. What do you say?"

"I've only just started the second report Mike! I'd rather stay and get it finished if it's ok with you?" Steve protested turning back towards the typewriter.

Snatching up Steve's notebook in one fluid movement Mike insisted again.

"NO! It's not ok with me. The report can wait until tomorrow buddy boy! You're going to go home and rest now! Is that clear?" Mike reiterated leaving Steve in no doubt that home was where he was heading whether he liked it or not! Then he quickly added. "And I'll drive this time. You did your fair share of the driving earlier. Get your jacket."

Steve realized that Mike was annoyed with him and knew that there was no point in arguing so grabbing his jacket he stood up and addressed Mike.

"Ok Mike. I just need to go and get the wet clothes out of my locker. Do you want me to get yours for you too?"

Realizing from Steve's subdued demeanor that he had come across a bit too harsh Mike softened his tone and replied.

"Yes please. ... Thanks buddy boy!" and reaching into his pocket he retrieved his locker key and handed it to Steve and watched as his young partner left the bullpen somewhat heavy-hearted.

Mike was annoyed with himself for making Steve feel worse. It just really irked him when Steve was behaving so stubbornly. Then suddenly he realized he was still standing right beside Steve's desk drawer. Looking at it and realizing that it would take Steve at least ten minutes to make it down to the locker room and retrieve the items from both lockers and return Mike was sorely tempted to find out what his young protegé had been staring at. It might help him figure out what was causing Steve's angst. Placing his hand on the handle of the drawer Mike started to open it slowly but then stopped himself and closed it again swiftly.

Knowing he would be betraying his partner's trust by rifling through his desk drawer Mike was cross with himself for even thinking of it! "What were you thinking!" Mike scolded himself. "The boy will tell you what's wrong when he's good and ready!" and marching into his office he got his coat and hat.

Then much to his dismay he remembered that the car keys were buried somewhere under the strewn paperwork on his desk. He had fallen behind over the last few days in sorting the various phone messages, letters and files that had built up around him and vowed to sort it first thing tomorrow. As he pushed the assorted paperwork aside and found the keys little did Mike know that one of the phone messages buried on his desk held the answer to Steve's current melancholy. The phone message taken down by Bill Tanner two days ago and placed on Mike's desk in his absence lay hidden among the chaotic pile on Mike's desk, unread and unnoticed.