13.
After scoping out the refreshments, Tifa rounded on their trio of young hosts. "What do you mean, there's no bar?!??"
Yazuu regarded the brash young woman with elegant disdain. "Mother didn't think it was proper."
Tifa blushed furiously, her hands balling into fists. "A girl can be a bartender and still be a lady, dammit! Who is she to judge what's proper? I make a good living, and I'm not a hooker!"
Loz, Kadaj, Yazuu, and Cloud exchanged mildly concerned looks.
"Um, Tifa," Cloud ventured valiantly, "what are you talking about?"
Tifa glanced around as though just noticing the remnants and her own puzzled escort. "What did I say?"
"You said you're not a hooker," Loz replied helpfully.
"Damn right I'm not!" Tifa snarled. "Just because I wear a leather corset – are you looking for a fight, buddy? Because you just found one!"
Loz backed up a step.
Tifa bounded toward him, fists at the ready. "Come on, bring it, you pussy!"
"And I think that's why there's no bar," Cloud observed mildly as he picked Tifa up and slung her over his shoulder, still kicking. "Excuse us, I think someone needs a time-out."
"Loz is scared of girls!" Kadaj chanted in a sing-song voice as Cloud carried the rabid terrorist-cum-barkeep out of earshot.
"I am not!" Loz countered vehemently.
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Boys, please," Yazuu hissed as he stepped between the two. "This is hardly the time or place."
"But he said –"
Yazuu smiled. "Loz, I know you're manly. That should be enough for your pride, hm? You can fight with her later, preferably in some ruins or other place that can be wrecked to your hearts' content. Tonight, we must be civilized."
Kadaj tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Yazuu? This dog just whizzed on your foot."
Yazuu took a deep breath, then graced the big orange furball with a murderous glare. "If you weren't one of Mother's favorites, I swear I'd…"
The chow sat down and proceeded to wash its privates.
Before Yazuu could decide upon a proper course of action, Kadaj let out a soft cry and staggered back.
Loz darted to his side, all animosity forgotten. "What's wrong?"
Kadaj gripped his arms as though borrowing his elder brother's strength. "It's Mother! She's here!"
A/N: According to articles I found while learning all I could about Ms. Martha in a month, she has four chows, two French bulldogs, a cadre of Himalayan cats, some miniature donkeys, Friesian horses, chicks, ducks… I suspect it was Paw Paw who piddled on Yazuu's foot: of the bunch he seems rather possessive.