14.

Rufus Shinra made the rounds, greeting those few who didn't get out of his way in time. He let Tseng wheel him about, though it did make him feel a bit like an unwelcome dessert tray. Odd feeling, that, he mused, as dessert trays were almost universally good company.

"Found it." Tseng breathed the words over the microphone clipped to his right lower molar; his lips didn't move.

"Tseng," Rufus whispered, "I'm right here. You don't have to use the sub-audio."

"Habit, sir."

"Right…" Rufus studied the target, his eyes narrowing. "Can you get these people out of the way? Without shooting any of them," he added quickly as Tseng's right hand darted into his jacket.

"I'm on it, boss!" Reno said with a happy grin. He hurried up to the table and accosted the party-goers who were calmly loitering in hopes something interesting would happen. "Hey, good to see ya! The boss here would like to talk with you folks about rebuilding Shinra!"

"Gotta go."

"I gave at the office."

"Oh, it's time for my medicine…"

Rufus looked up at the redhead with something akin to admiration in his eyes. "Reno, I hate to say it, but I'm impressed!"

Reno shrugged. "It's a gift."

"Okay, Turks," Rufus stated in a stage whisper, "cover me."

Rude glanced toward the spare tablecloth. "It's certainly more festive than the blanket, but I'm not sure it will fit."

Elena poked the bald man in the ribs, then half-drew her pistol.

"Oh. Right."

With the Turks on guard and looking the other way, Rufus edged closer to the table. He raised the black box as Jenova had told him to do; the alien-infused tea within sloshed ominously. He opened the box. The smell was deafening.

Then, with steady hands, he held the box over the massive punch bowl and poured.

As the eldritch mixtures combined, the thick green potion began to roil and smoke. A vague stench of scorched lime sherbet filled the air.

In the huge cage by the kitchen, three canaries fell to the bottom and did not stir.

Rufus held his breath, waiting for some sign that Jenova was pleased, and waiting for the fumes to dissipate to safe levels.

::Damn, that tingles!::

"I'm done now," Rufus hissed, tossing the box into the recycle bin. "You're on your own."

::Now…have some punch?::

"Fuck you!" Rufus backed up his chair, then addressed the Turks. "Okay, you four. You're my last Turks, the last and the best." He glanced at Elena. "Well, the last, anyway. Under no circumstances are you to drink that punch!"

Rude stepped in behind the wheelchair and began pushing Rufus back to the main room. Elena flanked them, not quite sure whether she had been dissed or not.

Behind them, a slap rang out.

"Ouch! What did you do that for, yo?"

"You were about to stick your finger in the punch," Tseng replied coolly. "Bad idea."

"But –"

"No means no, even for you."

"Aw, man!"

"Don't 'aw, man' me! If I catch you within ten feet of that bowl, I'll tell Rude you've been putting Enzyte in his coffee."

Reno paled. "You wouldn't!"

Tseng shrugged. "Don't tempt fate."

Defeated, Reno let Tseng escort him out of the buffet room.

Behind them, the punch began to glow.