Act 2 Scene 7 怪盗キッド [Kaitou Kiddo] 'Kaitou KID'
Kaitou KID snickered to himself as he skipped up the street back to his house. He'd managed to outsmart the foureyed brat and Hakuba. Foureyes hadn't even appeared at his escape route. Had he left partway through? Meh, it didn't matter. He'd made a flawless escape, and managed to not get beaten up by crazed martial arts girls, a soccer ball lodged in his back, or fallen from any great heights. Humming a cheerful tune, he threw open the front door and tossed his black baseball cap onto the hat wrack, knowing it had hit its mark without needing to see it. His jacket popped open, and his doves burst forth with a flurry of feather, beaks, and claws. He hung his jacket up with a flourish of his wrist, bowing to an imaginary audience. He flicked off his shoes and reached for his slippers, and heard the lock on the door clicking into place. That didn't make sense, that lock wasn't automatic.
"Mom?" he asked turning around. The lights switched on.
Wrong. Before him was the half-pint, foureyed, demon child, Conan Edogawa, and he was smiling.
He took a few breaths to calm down and re-secure his pokerface. "Who are you, and what are you doing in my house, little boy?" He crouched before the foureyed demon, smiling a hopefully disarming smile. "Are you lost?"
"Nope!" the demon chirped. "I found Kaitou KID!"
His blood ran cold.
"Why do you think that?"
Conan pulled out his cell phone. "Because I loaned Kaitou KID my cellphone, and he didn't turn it off. The GPS showed that it'd spent a whole night here, before being dropped off at the Mouri Detective Agency. Then I did a little research, and found this was the Kuroba residence. As it happens, Touichi Kuroba had been a famous magician who died ten years ago – right when the thefts stopped. Then, eight years later, they began again, when his son had gotten old enough to continue them."
"That's pretty weak evidence if you ask me. It's just a coincidence."
"But it lines up so nicely with other things I know about Kaitou KID! He told me he's a big fan of Touichi Kuroba, that his mother is the Phantom Lady, who also has a suspiciously familiar disguise technique, that I've seen two other students of Touichi Kuroba use. First would be Yukiko Kudou, and the second would be Sharon Vineyard. Yukiko Kudou's husband, Yuusaku Kudou, also was the one to give the KID part of the nickname to Kaitou KID, and based his best-selling novel series The Night Baron off of his friend. I happen to be a relative of the Kudous, so I was able to confirm my suspicions – Touichi Kuroba was the original Kaitou KID, and his son, Kaito Kuroba, has taken up the role for the past two and a half years." Conan beckoned. "Ran, hold him down."
Something struck him in the back. It made his legs go limp for a moment and knocked him to the floor. He twisted around to see what it was. A strong pair of hands grabbed his wrist and shoulder and slammed him back to the floor, hard. Flickering lights swam before his eyes. He tried to release a streamer into his attacker's face with his spare hand, but a knee came down on his back, and his other wrist was grabbed. He was caught. It was physically impossible to get free without doing some major damage to a few joints.
"He's really flexible," Ran said from above. "See how far I can twist before there's resistance?"
"Come on, Ran, don't break him. He'll be no use to us then." He cupped his hand and whispered into Kaito's ear, "You shouldn't struggle… Kaitou KID recently stripped her girlfriend naked and locked her in the bathroom. She's still a little mad, if you haven't noticed."
He stopped struggling. He was done for. At least he hadn't been caught by Aoko's dad; that would have been beyond humiliating.
Conan's little hands darted around, disarming his tricks, toys, and traps, one after another. With a triumphant cry, he pulled out the glittering prize Kaitou KID had just snatched.
He moaned. "Alright, I'm done fighting you; you win. What do you want to blackmail me into doing this time?" His captor released him, dropping him to the floor.
"You blackmailed him into helping you before?" asked a pompous British voice from where he couldn't see. Crap. Double crap. Saguru Hakuba was in on this?
"It saved someone's life. Also, it meant I knew exactly where to find him, if I ever needed to."
"So," he said, shakily pulling himself into a sitting position. "Will there be people with guns, explosives, or both, like last time? By the way, you still owe me for that. Letting that Sera girl beat up on me nullified letting me escape."
Hakuba walked behind him and grabbed one arm, and Ran grabbed the other. They picked him up and dragged him into the kitchen. "I knew it was you," Hakuba said, sighing. "Leave it to you to get caught by an 8 year old."
They dropped him on a chair at the kitchen table, then drew up chairs themselves.
"So, what are you going to do with me?" he mumbled.
"We have something much more important to do than catch you," Ran said. Her hand was still on his shoulder, just in case he tried to run.
Conan's face barely peeked over the edge of the table. "We're going to take down the international crime syndicate that you helped me face on the train."
"Do I have to?" he whined.
"We know your identity, and we have solid proof. If you don't help us, we'll turn you in. Also, you'll be indirectly responsible for the deaths of a lot of people and the continued deadly operations of said international crime syndicate," Hakuba said, arms crossed in front of him. "I know you're not a bad person, and I know you're dumb enough to face whoever keeps using you for target practice during your heists without backup. Name whatever conditions you have, and we'll consider them trade for your services."
"Don't tell Aoko," he said immediately. "And I want full immunity. And, you guys help me take down the people who use me as target practice during my heists. And, you reinvestigate my father's murder."
"Your father was murdered?" Conan asked, looking perplexed. "The records indicated an accident during a performance."
"No. It was murder." Kaito clenched his fists. "I heard the confession from the lips of the men who did it, right before they tried to kill me. I've been trying to get you guys to catch them at the heists, but you're so freaking incompetent-"
"That's not fair!" snapped Hakuba. "How were we supposed to know these people would be showing up? How were we supposed to know they'd killed your father? We're detectives, not psychics! If you'd have come to us sooner, maybe we could have-"
"Let the world know that my dad was Kaitou KID? That'd be painting a gigantic bull's eye on me, my mom, and everyone we know. No way can I be responsible for that!" Kaito yelled, trying to stand up. Ran roughly planted him back into his chair.
"Boys, knock it off! We have more important things to talk about!" Ran glared and raised her fist, daring the next person to start shouting. They clammed up.
"Now," Ran said in a quiet, calm voice. "Conan, explain what you need Kaito Kuroba to do for us."
"Yes ma'am!" He pulled out a folded piece of paper with a list of names and phone numbers. "We need you to help these people get into disguises, so they can flee before the sting goes down. They'll be on the syndicate's hit list. This column is the agents and officers that will be taking their places. The rest are people who just need to be made unrecognizable. The preparations for this are going to take at a couple weeks, so we need to be working closely with you."
Kaito scanned the names. Agent Jodie Starling - FBI, Officer Miwako Satou… "Do they know who I am?"
Conan shook his head. "They'll only know you as Kaito Kuroba, costume design and stage makeup expert who has a knack for building convincing disguises. They'll have no idea that you're Kaitou KID, as long as you don't tell them."
"So how will you arrange immunity for me?"
"We'll tell them afterwards," Ran said. "My mom is an excellent lawyer, and she can arrange it for you."
He glanced at the list, noting the name "Eri Kisaki" in the people who would be replaced. "Kogorou Mouri" was on it too. "Mouri, why are your parents on the list?"
Conan and Ran exchanged glances. "Everyone who has a connection to Shinichi Kudou or Conan Edogawa is going to be on their hit list," Conan said. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "One of their agents has been getting really close to us. He's likely figured out that I'm the brains behind 'Sleeping Kogorou', and he'll probably figure out with a little clever digging that I'm in contact with Shinichi Kudou – who the syndicate supposedly killed two years ago. He also knows I was involved in the capture and detainment of their operative Kir by the FBI last year. In three weeks, Shinichi Kudou will be dead; they'll know that he's been alive this whole time, and the race will be on to plug all of the leaks created by him."
"But your names aren't on the list…" he flipped the page over to see if there was a backside, but it was empty.
"I can't ask a child to take my place," Conan said grimly. "I'll go into hiding beforehand. There's no safer place for me."
"And I can take care of myself," said Ran. "Do you want another demonstration?"
"No, no, that's fine!" an idea that probably shouldn't have found its way onto his lips, but did anyways, popped into his head. "By the way, which one is your girlfriend? Sera or Sonoko?"
A fist in his gut was her response. "Sonoko," she said sweetly.
Kaito whimpered. "She does seem to like karate-freaks." Doubled over and clutching his stomach, he took a sideways glance at Hakuba. "So, your connections to Interpol are the reason they brought you in?"
Hakuba nodded. "They approached me at the heist, and asked for my help. I didn't like the idea of including you, but they said their usual disguise expert would be in Osaka, helping them protect a particularly important escapee from the organization."
"Also," Conan interjected, "You're really good at manipulating people, especially in groups. We need help with the planning of this sting, to make sure we can take down as much as possible of the organization at once."
For once, this situation sounded reasonable. "So, I'll get full immunity if they figure out who I am; Aoko never finds out who I am; and you help me take down my father's murders; in exchange for helping you plan a massive sting operation on a dangerous international crime syndicate and disguising their would-be victims. Is that the deal?"
They all nodded.
"I'll put it in writing," said Hakuba, pulling out a pad of paper and an expensive pen.
"Okay then. I'm in." Ran let go of Kaito's shoulder. Conan called Heiji Hattori, and the five of them started planning.
When Mrs. Kuroba came home, a little drunk but very happy, she found her son, his classmate, and two people she'd never met deep in sketches and papers, planning something. It was 3AM. She made the strange kids go to bed in the guest room, sent the classmate home, and chased Kaito up to his room.
"Mom," he said, with the first truly happy smile she'd seen since he'd learned of his father's murder. "I think we're finally going to be able to catch Dad's killers. It's going to be all over soon."
"Good job dear," she said, a drunken smile over her face. "Be sure to tell me that again in the morning. Mommy had a little too much fun with her coworkers at the theatre tonight." She closed the door to his bedroom, and wandered back to her own. She closed the door and soaked her pillow with tears.
Author's Note
Have you ever noticed that the ways that laughs are written have very different connotations? For example, "hihihi" is a sneaky laugh, while "hohoho" is a deep laugh – usually attributed to Santa Claus. In Japanese, there are also a bunch of laughs with connotations too.
We'll start with laughing etiquette. In Japanese culture, the polite way to laugh is with your hand over your mouth, so that people don't see into your mouth, kinda like how you're supposed to chew with your mouth closed. Laughing with your mouth uncovered is called 「馬鹿笑い」 [bakawarai] "horse laughing" or "stupid laughing." This is the reason in the Detective Conan manga and anime, Mouri Kogorou is always depicted laughing with his mouth open and his tongue hanging out. It's written "hahaha."
The polite laugh is "hohoho" with one's mouth covered. It's high-pitched, especially when women do it. When it's exaggerated in pitch, to eardrum-busting heights, it's stuck-up and the preferred laugh of bratty, rich girls. You'll see Sonoko using this laugh occasionally.
An attempted covered up laugh, like a snicker, is "fufufu." Another is "hihihi" or "kikiki." The laugh that you see Kaitou KID using often is "kikiki," which has an extra mischievous connotation because it similar to the sound monkeys make in Japanese, "ukikiki."
また来週！ (See you next week!)
dreamingfifi