The only disclaimer I really need is that the magical world is J.K.'s and half of the theory is my sister's. Ok, Enjoy! : )

The Santa Claus Theory

In honor of the Christmas holiday I thought I would finally pen the truth about Santa Claus. You know, the man in the red suit that we only see once a year. What does he do the rest of the year anyway? Never mind, that's another story, back to my story.

Does Santa Claus exist?

Of course he does! How else do you suppose the presents get into your stockings and under your tree?!

So, you say, if Santa is real how does he do it? You know the whole flying around the world in one night. Flying reindeer? Yeah right! Well, that's where my story comes in.

So, here it goes, The Santa Claus Theory:

How does he do it all in one night? Well . . . Santa is a wizard. He has acquired a a timeturner which he uses repeatedly on Christmas Eve.

Flying reindeer? Well of course not! Everyone knows reindeer can't fly! Come on how gullible are you? Okay, okay, I'll explain. They aren't reindeer that pull his sleigh. They're thestrals of course. Thestrals, which we all learned about in the OOTP, can fly.

The elves. Now, I know your all wondering about the elves. Do they get paid? What about health care? Benefit packages? and How many days off a year? Nada. Zip Zero. Wanna know why, because they're house elves. And believe you, me, Santa has a lot of house elves, more than Hogwarts twice over! Those poor elves! Oh but don't pity them. They're perfectly happy making toys all year 'round just so Santa can get all the credit. They're not bitter at all. Okay . . . maybe just a little.

Next topic:

The bag. How on earth does he fit millions and billions of toys into one bag. One! Easy. Now you all remember Hermione's bag in the 7th book. Oooh! It can fit all sorts of stuff, and then of course he does a lightening charm on it.

Fireplaces. How on earth does the man get down the chimneys?! Well, for one night out of the year every single fireplace in the world is connected to the Floo network. Just imagine how much he spends on Floo powder! And if you don't have a chimney he simply does Alohomora and then a freezing charm on any alarms.

Well, that is the truth about Santa Claus. I know suprising isn't it? Well, I hope you enjoyed it. Uh-oh better go! Santa doesn't allow us elves to use the computer. But I had to tell someone the truth!

Help!!!

Author's Note: So what did you think? Plz tell me in a review. I will reply to all reviews. This is my first story. Should I keep writing. I mainly focus on James/Lily and am in fact working on one right now. Keep an eye out for it. Thanx.