A/N: OK SO IM SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG IM A TERRIBLE PERSON.
It's actually not my fault really, my computer gave me the "blue screen of death" so I had to reset my computer and I lost EVERYTHING I wrote for this story and all my other fanfictions. But I rewrote this from scratch in-between school, work, and other stories. So here it is.
I also had so much trouble remembering who I killed. I didn't remember killing Bruce or Clint so I got halfway through this chapter before I realized. I had to substitute Johnny for Clint for comic relief and Sam taking care of Tony instead of Bruce
This chapter was inspired by the song 'Turn Your Face' by Little Mix.
The sun was shining brightly, the hot, sticky air beating down on the three figures running around the playground.
"Daddy! Daddy, watch this!"
Tony turned his head and watched the swing go higher and higher, knowing his son was going to jump off once again.
"Pete, be careful," Steve said for the hundredth time.
When he was finally high enough he swung off, pushing his arms behind him and making a "pshhhhhhh" sound. When he landed, he ran toward Tony, a huge smile lighting up his face.
"Daddy, did you see that? I was flying! I was flying like Iron Man!"
"Yeah, you were-"
"I wish I could be like you and Papa, Daddy, I wish I could be a superhero and fly through the sky with you and Uncle Thor and Uncle Johnny and fight bad guys, just like you!"
Tony smiled and shot a look at a smirking Steve.
"Maybe one day, kiddo. Maybe"
The buzzing alarm jerked Tony awake, hitting the table next to him and knocking over and shattering something on it. He looked around dazed before his dream came back to him.
"I wish I could be like you and Papa, Daddy."
He buried his face in his hands, feeling wetness from his eyes and took a shuddering breath.
"I was flying! I was flying like Iron Man!"
Looking up and looking around he realized he was in Steve and his bedroom, a room he hadn't been in since Steve walked out on him.
"Fuck you, Captain. I hope you go to hell."
"If that's what it takes."
He glanced down at his wedding ring on his finger. He didn't know why he still wore it but he just couldn't take it off. He knew from Logan that Steve didn't wear his anymore, but Natasha had assured him that Steve still wore it on a necklace around his neck. But no, it wasn't where it should ne.
"Jarvis… how did I-"
"Mr. Wilson found you unconscious in your lab with high levels of alcohol in your blood, sir. He asked Mr. Odinson to take you somewhere more comfortable."
Oh. Sam would. Made sense. Also explained the hangover, but those were frequent nowadays anyway. Especially with Steve not around to stop it, and Logan there to endorse it.
He looked around once more and decided to take a shower to clear his head. Plus, last he remembered he had been in that lab for two weeks straight. Kinda gross. Or a lot. He didn't care.
He put his foot down and stood slowly.
"Ow! What the fuck…"
He looked down and saw the glass and upside down frame on the floor. Ignoring what was undoubtedly glass in his foot- really he'd had much worse -he reached down to pick up the frame. He regretted it immediately.
It was a picture of the day they had brought Peter home from the hospital. A 27 year old woman and her husband had put him up for adoption because their line of work was too dangerous for having children. Mary and Richard had thought he and Steve were perfect for their baby boy. They stayed in touch, but died in an unexpected plane crash six years later.
The Picture showed Peter in Steve and Tony's arms, surrounded by all the Avengers. Bruce had taken the picture because he was afraid he would break Peter if he went near him. It was the happiest day of Tony's life, and it showed. Steve and his faces were glowing.
The longer Tony looked at the picture the more his hands shook. He closed his eyes and let out a choked sob.
"I wish I could be a superhero and fly through the sky with you…."
Tony fell back on the bed, shaking with silent sobs, clutching the broken frame to his chest, cutting himself with more broken glass.
Fucking shower would have to wait.
"Peter?!"
"No sign of Ultron from anywhere over the world, Cap. We have SHIELD searching all attack accounts, all cameras, scanning computers, on the lookout the unique radiation Ultron gave off. Honestly though, no one knows what they're looking for, we need Pym-"
"We don't have Pym, Johnny…"
"Uhh… hi Pops. Fancy seeing you around here," Peter smiled up guiltily at his father.
Steve simply stared back in shock at the red and blue clad teen on his knees in front of him, shield and Spider-Man mask hanging limply from his hand.
"So… what brings you to this neck of the woods?"
"On a side note, Natasha, Jessica, and Brian have successfully taken down the HYDRA organization hiding in Germany working under Ultron. Honestly, why they chose Germany is beyond me, that's like the first place I'd look-"
"Get to the point, Johnny…"
"Peter… are you serious? Are you fucking kidding me right now?"
Peter blanched. "You cursed… I'm screwed."
"You.. you're Spider-Man?! What, do you have some kind of death wish?! Do you want to be killed!?" Steve's face was purple in anger.
"No! No, not at all… at least… I don't plan on dying, but hey, shit happens-"
"SHIT HAPPENS? We're talking about your fucking life and all you have to say is 'SHIT HAPPENS!?"
"And as you can see, Sam, me, and Logan are back from tour mission in Africa to take down the AIM base building an arsenal from an unknown material source-"
"I've checked with T'Challa, Cap, it's not any metal that he recognizes and has no similarities to Vibranium, so we believe that AIM was not building for Ultron. I'll see if Stark can analyze it and find similar properties to other known materials used by AIM or HYDRA, maybe ask Thor if it's from another realm…."
"Look, I'm not going to say I'm sorry, alright? I'm doing what I feel like I have to do! You and Dad raised me to be strong and to take care of myself and to always help others who need help. Well I'm helping, Pops, let me help-"
"No," Steve looked to Peter, his face now pale and his eyes shining. "No, not you. I can't risk losing you."
Suddenly, Peter stood, angry. "How do you think I felt then!? Sitting at home five times a week with nothing but another Avenger as a babysitter, waiting for my parents to come home when I know that every time they leave, there is a chance they might not ever come back. Getting called to the Principal's office to be told that Uncle Clint or Aunt Natasha or Aunt Pepper or Uncle Sam was picking me up and taking me to the hospital because one of you was hurt? Well I'm done doing that!" Tears leaked from Peter's eyes. "I'm tired of not being able to protect the people I love, and if I couldn't protect Uncle Ben when I was just normal before, how would I ever have a chance of protecting you, or Dad, or Gwen, or Aunt May, or anyone else if all I do is sit by and do nothing!?"
"Pete…"
"I made a promise, Pop. I made a promise to Uncle Ben. I got bit by that damn radioactive spider, and now I have power. Power that comes with responsibilities, the main one being to protect my family. And that is exactly what I will use this power to do, whether you want me to or not. You can't stop me."
Steve took a step forward, grabbing his son by the shoulders. "Not like this, Pete. Please not like this… I can't lose you.
"I can't lose anyone else either."
He pulled Pete down until they were both kneeling, holding each other closely. "I don't want you to die."
Peter pulled back a little and smiled. "Funny thing is… I'm not all too worried about that. Because I know that you and Dad will always be there to save me."
"...and Sam is having Logan's twin half wolf, half falcon babies, and I have a unicorn horn growing out my ass."
Steve jerked hearing that last sentence, memory fading to the back of his consciousness. "What?"
"Did you not hear any of that report, Rogers?" Johnny looked put out.
"Uh…"
"What's the last thing you remember?"
Steve's face scrunched up in thought. "Something about asking Thor about metal from another realm?"
Johnny nearly face palmed. "Are you fucking serious? That was like thirty minutes ago! And I actually prepared for this meeting, Cap, which is precious hours of my research-"
"Ahem."
"- Janet's perfectly good research and PowerPoint outline, wasted!"
Steve leaned forward, rubbing his eyes and sighing heavily. Johnny sagged slightly; looking at Cap with his shoulders down he suddenly looked fifty years older and the weight of the world was placed upon him.
He slumped, defeated. "Right, well, I have to get back to Baxter for Sue and Franklin. Sam, Buck, you catch him up… I'm going to go. Umm.. yeah. Dismissed."
Steve leaned back and nodded at everyone who passes with a nod or a "See ya, Steve" or "See ya, Cap." Once the room was cleared Bucky approached him and he stood.
"Hey, Buck," Steve grumbled, looking defeated.
"Hey, pal," Bucky looked uncomfortable. "Look… I wish I would be here, I do, but Fury wants me and Natasha to leave on assignment in an hour to chase some Ten Rings leads in Asia… make sure they don't join Ultron's cause anytime soon. I should go pack," he looked uncertain. "Unless you'd rather I stay here to fill you in..?"
Steve chuckled humorlessly. "Hell hath no fury like an angry Fury. Go ahead, Sam will fill me in. I'll be fine."
Bucky stared him down. "You were thinking about him again, weren't you? About that night? While you were zoning out?"
Steve stiffened and put on a tight, emotionless face. "No. I'm fine, Sam can fill me in. Go ahead. I'll be fine."
"If you're sure," Bucky took one last long look at Steve before leaving. Steve watched him go.
"Well, I'm no Bucky Barnes, but I'm always here to talk to you, Cap. Whenever you need, come find me. We'll work it out," a voice from behind him called.
"Sam, you PTSD Counseling is showing," Steve grinned lopsidedly.
"It's the truth," Sam paused for a minute, looking at Steve as if he could read his mind. "Well, I wasn't paying attention to half of what flame-brain was saying but I'll tell you what I know you want to hear. No sign of Ultron, HYDRA is with him, AIM base in Africa not so much."
"Damn," Steve suddenly banged his fist down on the metal table, leaving a dent. Sam didn't even flinch. "I was so sure AIM was with him. His last spot was in Africa, I was hoping they could lead us to him…. Then what the hell was that arsenal for?"
Sam shrugged. "I don't know, but I told everyone I'd ask Tony to look at the metal. T'Challa didn't recognize it so it's not Vibranium. I don't know what it is."
If Steve flinched at Tony's name Sam didn't mention it.
"How is he?" Steve's voice was barely above a whisper. Sam had to strain to hear him.
"He's… decent. He's working hard in his lab on… something. Jarvis said he'd been down there for about two weeks living on Dumm-E's smoothies and protein bars. He was passed out drunk on a table when I found him last night. Woke up sometime around one o'clock today. Everyone's gone looking for Ultron all the time no one has time to go down there and force him to bed—"
"Ultron is important," Steve said suddenly, and sternly. "Tony's a grown man and should be able to take care of himself." Steve suddenly looked guilty. "I had hoped kicking him off the team would push him to quit drinking but…"
The next five minutes were a tense, awkward, deafening silence.
"So how have you been?" Sam asked, turning a critical eye on his friend. "Really? None of this 'I'm fine' or 'I'll be okay' bullshit."
Steve sighed again, putting his arms on the table and lowering his head. "Horrible. But I can't tell anyone, can I? They all already know that, I'm not going to sit there and make them listen to my complaints. Can't get drunk, can take medication, can't do drugs, so I have to just deal with it. And it sucks."
There was silence for a minute before someone broke it. "Why are you doing this to yourself, Steve?" Sam asked quietly. "It's been almost a year since it happened. Don't you think if he was alive…?"
"No," Steve's voice was deep and commanding; his Captain America voice. "I refuse to believe he's dead until I see a body in front of my own eyes. I just… I need proof. Last time this happened the man turned up alive. Granted, it was 70 years later, but I'm not taking chances this time. I'm going to find my son."
Sam leaned forward and grabbed Steve's shaking hands. "Look. I know you care about your son, I get it. But it's been a year. Maybe it's finally time to just-"
"Pardon the interruption, Sir, but I have a message for Commander Rogers from James Howlett." Sam cursed Logan's timing in his mind.
"Let him through, Jarvis."
"Can he hear me? Is this thing on? I hate technology... Cap? Cap! Suit up and fast. We found him. Some Japanese battleship off the coast of Japan saw him flying toward Nagasaki. We need to get going. We're going after Ultron."