Okay, I know it's been over a year since I've updated... but I'm back now. and 2BG season 3 is on now so I figured now was a good time to get back into it! Sorry it took so long, but you know, life things do get in the way every now and then. Hopefully I'll be able to update this once every couple of weeks, I've got a few more chapters left to do. and thanks for all the kind messages and reviews! keep reviewing and let me know what you all think, or what you'd like more of and such :) yay maxoline! p.s there's probably a fair few mistakes in this, haven't been able to properly edit but hopefully it's not too bad!
Max slowly opened her eyes, adjusting to the brightness of her apartment. She tried to sit up but was overcome with a slight dizzy spell, only then remembering about the couple of joints she had not that long ago, and falling asleep shortly afterwards.
Closing her eyes again was interrupted when she heard the apartment door open. She averted her gaze from the ceiling towards the door to see Caroline walking in and throwing her bags onto the table.
"Max? You okay?" Max only smiled, her eyes still adjusting to the light, and now that of Caroline's shiny blonde mass of hair. She watched as Caroline pointed to the table, then turning back to look at Max pointedly.
"Have you been smoking again?" At this, Max let out a soft laugh, wondering how Blondie wasn't used to her in this state of mind by now.
Being high wasn't just something fun for Max to do anymore, it was just so much…. easier; simpler than dealing with the shit of her life – day by day, the same old stuff… wake up, go to work, avoid Caroline, come home, work, sleep…wait, avoid Caroline? Why would I… oh shit.
She had completely forgotten about what had happened earlier, being the reason she smoked two joints as soon as she got home in the first place.
As the memories dawned through her mind, she felt it play out on her face that Caroline hadn't taken her eyes off of since pointing out the still smoking joints on the table.
Max closed her eyes, shutting them tightly to keep the memories at bay. Why? Why did that shit have to happen, now I have to deal with Caroline no doubt asking about it, going on about it, why cant she just forget about it? It shouldn't have happened, but it did, and now it's all fucked up again…
"Max?" Caroline's voice was little more than a whisper, and pierced through Max's heart in a way she was not used to, nor did she like in any way.
Opening her eyes, she avoided Caroline's staring, waiting.
"Yeah Blondie, I'm fine. Still a little buzzed. Think I'm gonna go sleep it off…" As Max went to sit up, and all but run to her room, Caroline quickly sat down next to her.
Max was only all too aware of how Caroline's hand had lingered a few seconds too long over her knee, before slightly shaking her head and bringing her hand back.
"Look, Max…" here it comes, she's gonna get all emotional and crap again… "I think…. I think we really need to talk about all of this…"
Max heard the utter most fear in Caroline's voice, and silently praised her for not bursting out into tears right then and there. Before Caroline could push any further, Max interjected.
"No, Caroline. I know we…. I know we probably should talk about it, but I don't do that. You know that. I don't have stupid feelings, or emotions, okay? One of the first things I ever told you was that I'm dead inside, and trust me, that has not changed." Max let out the breath she was holding, and allowed herself to look into Caroline's eyes, knowing that she didn't believe a single word of what Max had just said.
Her disbelieving look faltered slightly, only to be replaced suddenly with shining eyes and a wide smile. I know a faker when I see it.
"Sure, Max. Whatever you want. I'm gonna make some coffee, you want any?" Max allowed herself to smile, whether it was fake or not, she wasn't too sure, but she did know that she was thankful to Caroline for not pushing the whole feelings talk.
"Nah, I'm good. Think I'm just gonna go to bed for a bit, sleep off whatever is going on in my brain." Max stood up and quickly walked to her room, not looking back in case Caroline started "talking" again.
She lay down on her bed and relaxed into the pillows, letting the dizziness of her still buzzed mind feel better. Max knew she should talk it all over with Caroline, but what she said was partly true; she can't talk about this.
The other times she had tried to either ended up in Caroline getting hurt or them getting far too close only for them to get hurt again anyway.
It was easier to just try and forget it all, whether it was healthy or not was not the main issue. Max closed her eyes as she heard Caroline's footsteps get closer to her door, assuming she was going to enter without knocking as she always did… then the footsteps stopped, and instead started walking over to their front door.
Max heard it open and close again, and continued listening until Caroline's footsteps faded away. Well that was weird.
What felt like a few minutes later, Max opened her eyes and looked over at her clock. Two hours had passed, and she was only now hearing Caroline unlocking the door and walking back to Max's room. God, again? Leave me alone already.
Caroline walked into Max's room, two bags in hand and sat down at the end of the bed, making Max sit up. "What now, Blondie? I told you I don't want to talk about this crap."
Caroline giggled, making Max narrow her eyes. "No Max, I know. And I'm not here to talk. I'm here to make you get stupidly drunk with me!"
Max wasn't expecting that, but pondered the idea as she watched Caroline take out one bottle of vodka and one bottle of raspberry.
"While I applaud the effort of you wanting to get me drunk" Max began, "Did you really have to get such a girly drink? What's wrong with a few beers?"
Caroline only smirked at that, to which she swiftly replied, "You can't do shots with beer!" Her smile widened as she then took out two shot glasses from the bags, one with a black M on the front and the other with a pink C.
She handed the M shot glass to Max, which she reluctantly took. "Shots? Well, drunk is fun and all. But… maybe not the best idea, I mean… you know-"
Max was interrupted with Caroline shaking her head dismissively, with that look of understanding she got on the rare occasion. It made her jaw tighten slightly.
"No, no, no Max, not… that. This is for us to have fun, to forget about whatever we want to, and just get drunk!" Max thought for a moment - she figured it could be fun, since when is drinking ever not fun?
But on the other hand, being drunk usually meant less control, and with Caroline there… oh screw it. "Fine" Max finally said. "Let's do it. Shall we do shots first?"
Caroline smiled her perfect Caroline smile, took Max's hand and led her back out to the kitchen.
"So Blondie, you wanna be my bartender for this evening?" Caroline giggled and batted her eyelashes as she reached for the shot glasses out of the bag, looking up at Max sitting by the kitchen bench.
"I'd love to, little lady!" Max couldn't help but laugh. Watching Caroline fumble around while opening the bottles was too much.
It relaxed her actually, knowing she could still feel lighthearted and silly with her best friend, regardless of all the emotional baggage they both now had.
Before Max could ponder any longer on these thoughts, Caroline was pushing the shot glass towards her, gazing at her with a sparkle in her eyes.
"Okay, let's drink to… um…" Max could only laugh at this, before piping in with "Cupcake hoes for life?!" Caroline smirked, raised her shot glass and clinked to a loud "cheers!" with Max, and both the girls took their shot.
"Woo!" Caroline shrieked, throwing her head back. As soon as Max got over the slight burn in her throat she started laughing hysterically at Caroline, "Oh man, I forgot you do the crazy orgasm face when you do shots!"
Five shots, four drinks and a couple of hours later, the girls found themselves laying outside side by side on the grass, staring up at the stars.
Max was feeling extremely dizzy and light headed, but at least there was no stress to be worried about while she was this intoxicated.
Turning her head to face Caroline, she saw that she already had her head turned to face her, her eyes seemingly plastered on her. Max couldn't help but smirk, letting her gaze linger a little too long, but thinking nothing of it.
"What are you staring at, Blondie?" Max noticed the slight twinkle in Caroline's eyes as she said "Blondie". "Oh nothing, Max…" Caroline sighed through her smirk.
"You know…" Uh oh. Max knew what was coming now, and even in her drunken haze she knew she wouldn't be able to handle discussing this right now.
Bringing her hand up swiftly to Caroline's mouth, she covered it from any other words that might spill out. "No, Caroline. We're not…we're not talking about this shit now, you promised!"
Caroline's eyes widened, staring up at Max with those trademark puppy dog eyes. "Oh please Blondie, that look ain't gonna work on me. I am far too drunk and far too not in the mood to care… or whatever…"
Feeling Caroline laugh, Max pulled her hand away, thankful that the girl had stopped speaking. "Oh fine Max… you want another drink then? It's getting kinda cold out here."
Max thought for a moment, wondering if another drink would make her even more less prone to thinking properly. She thought to herself it was quite an achievement she had told Caroline to stop speaking when she had, usually when she was drunk she let whatever happen.
"I'm not sure about more alcohol… I'm still pretty damn buzzed. And I kinda feel like I'm gonna puke, which means you're definitely almost gonna puke. And I really don't want to deal with that mess right now."
Caroline nodded and agreed, getting up slowly and holding her hand out to Max. "Why thank you m'lady" She said, taking Caroline's hand and letting herself be lifted up.
Both girls still extremely drunk, stumbling was bound to happen, and as soon as Max was on her feet she realised how warm Caroline's hand was and immediately let her mind wander.
This caused her to trip over her own feet and fall onto Caroline, right on the ground where they just were. Only this time, their hands were clasped together, and Max was on top of Caroline. Drunk. Uh oh again.
Max stared down into Caroline's eyes, getting lost in them, seeing the same expression on Caroline's face that surely mirrored her own.
"Max, I…" In the split second before deciding what to do, a million things went through Max's mind. Although, the only one that seemed to stand out was that she didn't have her hand free to hold it over Caroline's mouth to stop her talking, so the next best thing in her drunken state of mind seemed to be replacing her hand with her lips.
She dipped her head as Caroline brought hers up, locking their lips together and immediately feeling the warmth of them spread through her body, down to the pit of her stomach and through her arms, giving her goose bumps everywhere.
Her lips tasted like raspberry and vodka, her tongue the same with a hint of something that Max could only describe as being Caroline. Her tongue? When did that happen?
Max, snap out of it! She all but yelped as she pulled herself away from Caroline's lips, feeling immediately empty as they parted. Jumping up and not even looking down, Max called out "Joint?", and stumbled back into the apartment, fumbling her way through to her room and started to roll exactly what she needed to calm herself down.
Getting drunk was definitely not a good idea tonight. Hearing footsteps, Max quickly finished rolling and jumped off her bed, planning to meet Caroline in the kitchen so as to not give her time to get into her room where they would no doubt have to "talk" about what had just happened.
But instead, Max found Caroline hopping into her bright pink bed, laying down and seemingly about to fall asleep. Max felt her chest tighten, and realised she was feeling… guilty?
Max never felt guilty. Stupid alcohol. Knowing this could only end badly, but even more sure of how horrible she would feel if she left this unattended, Max walked over to the foot of Caroline's bed and stood for a few seconds, regaining her balance.
"Blondie? You're not passing out on me already are you?" Max tried to chuckle a little, but there seemed to be a lump in her throat that she just couldn't coax away.
"Yeah" Caroline whispered. "Time to sleep. Night Max." Her voice was monotone, clearly hiding the pain she felt, and that unspoken pain shot right through Max, rendering her speechless for a second.
"No, Caroline I made- I made us a joint, come on get up and let's go smoke it and look at the stars again and make fun of how small they are." She watched as Caroline slowly sat up, staring at Max with slightly bloodshot and welled up eyes.
Crying? Oh God, please no, please fucking no. Max instinctively walked around to the side of Caroline's bed and sad down, staring at her but unsure of what to say.
Anything she said would no doubt piss her off even more, and she had a right to be. Max did what she did best, again, and ran. But she was here now.
"I know Max." What? Know what? "Uh know what?" Caroline looked puzzled, before saying "I know that you're here now. I know." Max must have spoken her thoughts out loud unknowingly, internally reprimanding herself for being so stupid but then also thankful that she hadn't said anything worse.
"Yeah… well… light up?" Max held the joint to her lips, waiting for Caroline to give in. She would eventually, but Max wanted her to sooner rather than later.
"Come on C-line… you must've known alcohol and us would've made something… something happen. Let's take the edge off?" Max swore she saw a small tear escape from Caroline's eye, but the next second she had grabbed the joint and started lighting it up.
"Fine" she started, "but can we stay inside? It's so cold outside I think I might freeze to death." Max smiled, laughing to her before choking out "Frozen barbie!" This caused them both to burst into a fit of laughter, both remembering back to when it was first said.
A little while later, both girls were comfortably laying on Caroline's bed, staring up at the ceiling, no longer feeling dizzy from alcohol but instead feeling a nice warm buzz, thanks to the substance they had just smoked.
"No stars up there Max, but that stain sure looks pretty gross." Max barely heard Caroline, turning towards her. She let her eyes take in her shiny blonde hair, her golden sparkling eyes, beautiful raspberry tasting lips, long delicious neck… stop.
"Stop what Max?" Max panicked, why did she have to let words slip out when she didn't mean to? It was becoming quite a problem.
"Nothing. Never mind. I think I've had enough for tonight. Time to sleep?" Caroline turned her head to face Max, a slightly bewildered expression on her face.
"Are you okay Max? You look like you're about to cry…" Max panicked yet again at this, she didn't cry, especially not in front of anyone, and especially if that someone was Caroline.
She closed her eyes for a second, trying to make sense of her thoughts. She didn't feel sad, but she felt something… emptiness? Awesome. The great depression strikes again.
"I'm fine" is all Max managed to say in response. "Just tired." She went to sit up, but was stopped as Caroline's hand fell flat on her shoulder, softly pushing her back down.
"No Max, don't. Can't you just… stay with me tonight? I mean, I mean just – just sleep? I feel weird…" The tone in her voice sent something completely different through Max's mind and body, and she couldn't in a million years think of how to describe it.
Smiling, she looked back to Caroline. "Sure, Blondie. Come on, come here…" Max knew the way Caroline slept best, and that was her holding Max around the waist cuddled up to her neck, as Max instinctively wrapped her arm around her shoulders to hold her close.
"Thanks Max. Goodnight."
"Night Blondie."
"Love you…" Caroline murmured, which made Max heart both sink and soar at the same time.
"Love you too, Caroline…" she pressed a soft kiss on the top of her blonde head, knowing she would yet again have to deal with it all the next day, and yet again she didn't seem to care.
It happened. She would deal with it... eventually.