Elena's POV

I find it harder and harder to understand the world with every passing day. Before, I really wanted to, now I think that after last night that's impossible and I should simply give in to what I want to do. Maybe I want to be a writer, maybe I want to be an outsider or maybe I want to be truly loved, to find a friend with whom I can share everything around me, maybe I wish I could fall in love if that is even possible. I'm not sure what I want, I am not going to lie about this, even since last night things are upside down. I couldn't even steal one hour of sleep, it was hard to let go of all those thoughts in my head, even though I was beyond tired. It felt as if I was exploring a whole new different side of me, of every single thing in my room even, in the smallest stuff in our house-things I never noticed before. And I was confused, more importantly-I was scared. Scared that up until now I was so blind to all surrounding me. It seemed as if I was sleeping somehow, partly participating in a place I wasn't sure I even want to be in. It scared me…how indifferent I was.

So now it was time to start changing things. I wasn't a big believer in new starts or whatever people liked to call these stuff, but I surely wanted to do something. It's been on my mind since last night and that should be the first step to something new, something different.

So when I walked outside our house and started slowly figuring out where the Salvatore's live I felt excited, although the uncertainty that often tripped me in the communication with other people was still present inside me-those things, they don't just disappear for a day or two, I needed time. But that was fine, time didn't matter now, it was just important that I get there, that I move a bit from my awful current state of existence, if of course, anyone could call it like this.

I knocked on the door, still feeling a little out of place. The front porch was a mess, there were shoes everywhere, and somehow the whole place seemed old, but not those houses on our side of town where old meant wealthy, more like that kind of old which is on the verge of falling apart, but is still somehow hanging there. The house wasn't big, nor was the yard-there was some sadness to it all.

A man in his twenties opened the door to me, he wore a big black shirt and dark jeans, which matched his hair. His cold blue eyes pierced me and confusion flashed through his face, before he could actually get himself together and try to smile. I admit-he looked very attractive.

"How can I help you?" he was the first to talk, it seemed like I have lost all my words in matter of seconds. I wondered if he knew who I was.

"I'm sorry…I am looking for Stefan. Is he here?"

"My brother just went outside. " oh, so I was right when I initially thought that this was Damon Salvatore. I remember Caroline talking about him being very attractive, but too old for her. Seems like listening to her finally paid back. "You'll probably find him at the basketball court a few blocks from here." he added politely, which wasn't at all what I expected. I've heard he's a douche.

"He went to the court?" I asked confused. He wasn't supposed to be even getting out of bed today, my father told him he should be resting and he was..outside? Instead of responding to me right away, I noticed him simply staring me from top to bottom, obviously trying to figure out, where I seemed familiar from. Then he stopped his gaze on my wrist, which was a little bruised form the guy who caught me last night. I felt even more uncomfortable then I already was while he seemed more and more confused. "Thanks then. I'll go find him." I turned around, now hurrying to get out of here since I didn't like being interrogated and Damon seemed like he's about to just do so. He closed the door behind me slowly, probably still asking himself what was this about. I wasn't sure I myself had an answer to his question. I wondered how he let his brother out like this, did he knew nothing about what was going on? About what happened? Is this why he was so confused?

It took me a while to remember where exactly this court was. I haven't been in this part of town in such a long time that it seemed like a completely unknown area that I had some difficulties exploring. Eventually I found it and as soon as I was able to distinguish the sound of the basket ball jumping around I realized I was a little afraid to face him right now. It took me a few minutes to come back to my senses and as I shook my head I came closer.

He was shooting with one hand-his healthy one, the other was on his side where the broken rib was, he obviously had difficulties running, which is why he was aiming from a definite place, trying to make a point. I stopped and took some time to observe him. He patiently went to get the ball every time that it slipped his grip, he leaned down slowly and took it up in his hand with the help of his legs. Sometimes he stopped a little and stared at the hoop, just trying to figure out where it should be best to make the strike from. He appeared tired, there was sweat coming down his forehead, his white shabby t-shirt was half wet. For the first time I noticed how messed his hair really was-he had a laid back appearance, he obviously wasn't shaving his beard every day cause now it was stubble, his clothes were dirty, there was a pack of cigarettes coming out his back pocket. As a whole, I made the conclusion that even if I wanted to notice him more in school, I probably wouldn't even pay the slightest attention to him. He stopped for a moment and brushed the sweat from his forehead-he looked awful and the more I approached him the more I realized his face was pale.

"Stefan?" I said that silently, but he managed to actually hear me-there wasn't a single person around us, it was quite peaceful actually. Now I was starting to understand why he likes coming here. Or at least I guessed that he likes-I didn't know anything about him at all. And I wanted to change that, because I managed to see through him-he was a good person, who has shut himself out from the whole wide world and who didn't care about anything at all-and I found that incredibly sad.

He turned towards me surprised, but he didn't furrow his eyebrows as he usually did when our looks met. I could've sworn that I was the last person he expected to see here.

"Elena? What are you doing here?"

"I think I could ask you the same thing." I responded now quite confidently. "Are you okay? You don't seem well."

"I'm fine" he answered without a trace of smile on his face, but that wasn't because he was angry at me or something like that, I think he just had to deal with too many things inside. "Are you okay? You look like you need some sleep."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a lot on my mind." I tried to assure him with a smile on my face. Surprisingly he didn't frown this time, instead he came closer, still with the ball under his healthy hand.

"I have the feeling that you want to talk?" he asks, though I'm sure he knows he's right. I nod slightly and bow my head down as if I am ashamed, for what-I don't even know. "Then can we sit, because I'm still a bit" he looked for the right word "shaken, I guess."

"Yeah, sure." we headed towards the bench and he slowly sat down, once he finally did, a relieved gasp escaped his mouth, as if he has waited for quite some time to rest. I didn't understand why he was here in the first place. He should just be at home.

"Look, Stefan, I just.." I started and suddenly found a shortage of words. Somehow whatever I wanted to tell him couldn't be expressed with words that good, maybe I needed to do it with actions. But then again I didn't know this boy, so what could I do for him. "I wanted to thank you for what you did last night."

"That's all right. I just did what was right" he responded and gave me a reassuring smile. Somehow he seemed confused to me, as if he didn't want me to say whatever I needed to say, it seemed as if I was making him uncomfortable, but then again he was too polite to just cut me off, or that's what I thought at least. "I did what anyone would do in this situation."

"That's not true." I was suddenly up to opposing him.

"I didn't do anything heroic, Elena. I just helped a girl out. I don't think I deserve the credit you're giving me." he said now seriously "I'm just glad that you're all fine."

"But you are not." I pointed out

"You think too much, Elena." he said knowingly "It's over. Get back to your life and forget this ever happened. Go out with your friends, have some fun, escape the reality."

"You have no idea how long I've been doing this. " he didn't respond, not because he seemed confused, but because he didn't want to believe me. He simply thought I was too spoiled and didn't appreciate what I had. Or at least..that's what I believed he thinks of me. "Is there anything I could do for you?" I asked after a few minutes of complete silence. He was staring somewhere before him, piercing his eyes in the horizon. It seemed as if he wasn't here with me at all.

"I didn't do it, because I wanted something back, Elena." he responded silently.

"I know. But still, I wish I could find a way to thank you."

"Your father patched me up last night, I think that is enough." he gave me a wide smile

"That was nothing." I tried to reassure him. My father helps so many people and I'm pretty sure Stefan is one of the few who really appreciate it.

"He's the best doctor in this town. It's sure as hell a something." he insisted. "Really, Elena." he gave me a big sincere smile. I noticed how ruffled his hair was as if he hadn't brushed it in more than a week. His face was tired, but not only that kind of tired cause from hard work or the loss of physical energy, but also that kind of tired caused from deep sadness. There was something different about Stefan-he seemed like he didn't belong much to this world, as if his thoughts were leading him to a whole different place. He seemed sadly wise as if he has seen many dark stuff who have changed him and I wondered what was it that really crushed him. I dared to ask myself if it could be love, but I surely wasn't up to actually questioning him about it. I was pretty sure he wouldn't tell as well.

"So" I started, trying to change the subject since I've noticed that we've stayed in silence for quite some time and he was now looking up at the sky, again wondering about something "Why did you came here so early on a Saturday morning?"

He wasn't startled by my question and he didn't cut me off, but he gave me a weird look, which was hard for me to understand. It seemed as if he was asking himself how on earth was it possible that I cared about him.

"I just..I like coming here" he obviously wondered before speaking out loud his thoughts "It gives me peace, you know?"

"Yeah, I know" I answered and felt like the stupidest person on earth. I found it hard to express my thoughts with him so close next to me. He made me nervous, but a different kind of nervous, which somehow I found enjoyable "I feel like this in the library."

"Why am I not surprised?" he said without trying to sound funny "How did you find me anyway?" he suddenly remembered that I was the one to come to him

"I went by your house and your brother told me you must be here." he nodded with a light smile as if he wasn't surprised to hear his brother being involved in this at all.

"Why were you so eager to find me anyway?" his question came out of the blue and made me forget. He saw my confusion so he just continued answering his own question-I'm not a boy who girls would notice or talk to, even if they've helped them.

"Well I'm not just any girl" I said now seriously since I felt that with his words he was just trying to make me ordinary and simple-minded as the rest of the cheerleading squad whose only purpose in life was to roll in bed with yet another football player.

"I know you're not" he said defensively "I was just wondering here"

"What is there to wonder about? I am not just some of those girls you see in school who live for the gossip and the secret kissing with another boys in the bathroom."

"Elena" he said now seriously and looked up "I know you're not." he said it sincerely, as if he completely means it and in this moment, I swear I believed him. Only now did I notice how green his eyes were and how full of honesty they were. He was an honest man-I realized. Damn, he was an honest man and he made sure he never forgets that.

I nodded and we remained in silence for a few minutes. I felt this weight inside me, I wanted to share with someone everything that was going on these past few days, I needed someone's encouragement that I was indeed doing the right thing or more like-that I should do the right thing and just live like I want. But then again-why did I need someone to tell me that? What would that change since I've realized it already? Sometimes words have greater meaning than we want them to, but sometimes they are just words lost in the nothingness around us, words which won't make us do anything at all, but who break boundaries, friendships, relationships. Actions matter most and he sure as hell made me realize that last night-his deeds have saved my life and that was the only thing that made sense last night.

"Well thank you for understanding that." I finally said and stood up, ready to go my own way. He was a good boy. He surely didn't need anyone like me in his life. I understood he has his own demons, stuff that make him wonder a lot about probably everything that was surrounding him and a girl like me, who doesn't know what she sees around her and what she wants from life shouldn't be a part of his life. I really wish I could do something for him, but he seemed bend on making me believe that it was all fine and what he did wasn't that big for him anyway. It was significant for me, but it wasn't for him and that made me envy his selflessness and courage. I wish I was more like him-to just act without expectation. He seemed so surprised to see me here today, which made me realize how good his heart must be since he didn't expect absolutely nothing in return. As he noticed that I was about to leave he stood up as well and I managed to read disappointment in his eyes, though just for a moment, which made me doubt my observations.

"Wait, I'm going home as well" he said and leaned down to get his ball from the ground. I saw he has a hard time kneeling so I decided to help him, though when I leaned as well our heads bumped and we both laughed out loud. He let me help him and I handed it over only so he could put it under his arm. I felt myself blushing just from this small interaction we just had, but I tried to hide it from him while rubbing my head on the place we've collided, hoping that he wouldn't pay me any attention.

We started walking slowly, without talking at all in the beginning, he seemed deep in his thoughts again and I decided not to interrupt him. I really wished he wasn't so lonely, I wish there was a good girl out there for him, or at least a good friend. Then again I realized I'm thinking this and wishing all those stuff for him only because I don't have them as well and I knew how he felt. We were loners in a noisy world-it was hard for us to go through the path life was offering us without questioning our own logic sometimes.

"I'm sorry if I said something wrong earlier" he finally let out when we approached his house "I honestly think you're a smart girl and I shouldn't have judged you since I don't know you."

"It's fine, Stefan, you didn't say anything wrong." I reassured him with a light smile and he tried to respond me with the same though I could still see the regret in his eyes.

"Have a nice weekend and stay away from trouble" he added as he was just about to take the turn leading do the street where his house was

"I promise, I'll try' I laughed nervously and observed him as he turned his back to me. Before he could get too far away I yelled after him "Stefan!" he turned surprised with a confused look. "I'll see you in school." I said now slowly and silently, but I know he heard me because he smiled again, for the numerous time today, which made me realize how good this makes him look

"See you, Elena" he added and we both turned our backs to each other as if we were two little shameful kids, shy to talk to one another, blushing every time they see the other's eyes or joyful smile.

I've never felt more innocent in my life.

Stefan's POV

I didn't go straight home. I needed some time to think about her. I couldn't figure out why she has come today, she told me how grateful she was last night. I was surprised that someone actually cared that much for me helping them. I walked slowly around the neighborhood and the more I thought the more I realized how I don't know this girl at all and how wrong I was to judge her and believe she's just one of those stupid cheerleaders like Caroline Forbes who don't give a damn about anything else, but who to sleep with next.

She seemed very confused, though. As if she was about to make some big decision and suddenly change everything in her life, as if she was on the path for something new. And that was honestly so nice it made me want to just tell her how good it was, but I was afraid, I was a coward. I couldn't speak out loud and maybe that was for the better-she needed to deal with whatever she was going to do right now on her own, figure her life and I couldn't be more happy, that is, if I was right. I might have not been reading the signs right after all, I might not be right about her. I doubted myself a little, but I remembered her eagerness to help me last night after she saw my cut and how persistent she was. If she was an indifferent girl she would've never brought me to her father, she would've never come to see me today. It was hard for me to understand exactly what was going on with her. It's true-she was a girl and they are always confusing us boys, but she was also a person, a human being just like me, who went through life and carried her own weight inside her and I should always be understanding towards that. You never know what a person is going through, we all have our demons, which we wish we could get rid of no matter how persistent they are. The fact that she was rich, that her family was well-known and that her friend was the most popular girl in school meant nothing. She was above all a person, I once again realized, and she seemed like a lonely person. She seemed like misunderstood person.

And yet again I wasn't the right one to help her, because God knew how screwed up I was and how nothing in my life was right. I was rocking like a boat in a rough sea and every time the wind blew a little harder I could just turn upside down and drown in the nothingness that is our life. I felt her sadness, I felt her genuine beauty and because of that I knew I should stay as far away as I could from her. I don't know why, but when we were together, even for such a short time I felt like she could understand me. The way she looked at me when I took some time to answer her-not with pressure or expectance, but just with understanding. Even the silence wasn't filled with that nervous weight that you are supposed to say something when I was with her, on the contrary-it seemed like silence brought us more closely and gave us time to understand each other better.

That didn't matter though, the only thing I could feel towards her was hope. Hope that she'll find someone or something to make her feel complete, to help her with whatever she wanted to do from now on, to find the guidance she needed for the ability to accomplish her dreams. I was surely a fucked up person. She didn't need me anywhere around her.

I finally approached our house since I was getting tired from walking so much. I was hoping Damon wouldn't be home, because I wasn't up to talking with him. I had so much on my mind since last night that I just wanted to lie down and forget about everything that has happened. But I didn't have any luck with that. Once I entered the kitchen I found him on the table, drinking beer and watching a football game. He gave me a wide smile though I was able to read the concern in his eyes. He was still worried about me and I hated that. I didn't need anyone to feel like that for me since I was perfectly fine.

"Hello, brother" he said joyfully, with the intentions to cheer me up with his enthusiasm for which I wasn't up to right now. I just dropped the ball and went by the fridge to get myself something to drink since I was drying from thirst. There wasn't almost anything there though-the milk was too old and we were out of orange juice. I knew Damon might have just drank it all. I honestly wasn't up for judging him though-orange juice is better than bourbon. Since I couldn't find anything I just went by the table and got the beer bottle right under his nose. I drank the better half of it at once and I noticed his confused look on me. "Why are you so grumpy?" he said after I finally gave him his bottle back "Are you in pain?" he asked with concern.

"I'm all fine, brother." I responded barely audible. I felt like the world was spinning all around me, but that wasn't from the beer. I couldn't sleep at all last night and now I was finding it hard to concentrate and stay in one place. I regretted going to the court and trying to play at all right now so I just sat next to him on the table and stared at the screen.

'You look pale." he concluded.

"Fine" I said cutting him off.

"Fine?" he asked surprised "What the hell do you mean fine?" he was confused, couldn't understand my behavior, honestly, I couldn't as well.

"It means you gotta stop worrying, Damon. You're getting worse than mother."

"I'm never gonna stop worrying, Stefan." he stated seriously and I knew he was looking at me, waiting for a response, trying to figure out why was I so annoyed. I thought he would start bugging me about Elena, since he was the one to open the door and explain where I was, but he obviously didn't find this important now. I ran my fingers through my hair and stretched my hand to his bottle again, but this time he was fast and snapped it right out of my fingers.

"Oh, come on." I protested. "You can drink all day long, but I can't have a few sips?" he didn't laugh or smile as he would usually do in this situation, instead he turned off the TV and looked at me seriously.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" he asked

"What's going on with what exactly?" I was playing dumb. I wasn't up for serious conversations right now. I knew he wanted to truth about what happened, but I wasn't about to start explaining everything to him right now. Not when I was feeling like crap.

"With you, brother" he continued with his serious voice, but I just looked down and put my hands on my head again, trying to find a way out of here "What is wrong? I am asking you seriously, Stefan. I can't understand you and I want to help you, can't you see that."

"There's nothing going on with me" I spilled out tiredly

"Oh really?" he said unbelievably "Right, brother. There's absolutely nothing going on? You're a mess, Stefan, just look around yourself! You came home after midnight with broken ribs and smashed face after god knows what you did and you're not even willing to talk to me about it!"

"Damon" I started apologetically, but he interrupted me

"Is it about this girl?" he finally decided to include her in the conversation so I guess I might have been right when I thought Elena would be a subject of our conversation today.

"It's not about a girl at all." I cut him off "I just helped somebody that is." I was starting to get nervous "And if you can't get that, I don't know what else I could tell you so you would believe me."

He let a sigh out and took a sip from his beer, obviously trying to think of what he should say next. I knew my brother-he was a good and selfless person who would do anything to protect me, which is why he was acting like this. And I really do love him for being the brother he was, but I didn't want to talk to anyone right now.

"Just talk to me, brother" he pleaded "I am trying to help you here."

"Damon" I stood up abruptly, but still with my hands on the table, supporting my whole body since I found it hard to breath with the bandage on my right side and I easily staggered "I know." I confessed and he looked at me with worry, this time a different kind of worry though. The one that a person feels when the other knows something they are not supposed to. "I heard you and mother last night." I continued.

"Stefan" he tried to interrupt me, but this time I wasn't eager to hear anything else.

" She's right you know" I said and looked away since I could feel the warm tears in my eyes "You have to let her send me to uncle."

"I am not just letting you give up like this" he suddenly raised his voice.

"Listen to me" I said seriously, trying to make him understand "It's better this way. There's nothing left for me here. You better start accepting it, Damon-I am not something you can just fix. I'll keep getting into trouble and I'll keep causing mother headaches and she doesn't deserve this. She's too tired and there's too much weight on her shoulders. It's better if I leave."

"No" he opposed me "If you leave you'll just keep ruining yourself, only this time the place will be different. And I'm not letting you do this. I won't allow it." he said stubbornly

"Let it be, Damon. It's what I want as well " I said sadly and our stares finally met I saw how hurt he was. But I was hurt as well. There was so much pain inside me that it kept me up awake at night. He was drowning his demons with alcohol, but there wasn't anything I could drown mine with. So I just had to live with them no matter how painful that was. We stared at each other for quite some time until I finally turned my back towards him and slowly went to my room. I didn't hear him turn the TV on, I guessed he might still be thinking and processing what I've told him. He definitely didn't expect me to have heard them last night. It came out of nowhere to him, but mostly I think he couldn't accept that I was just giving up and agreeing to what mother was saying. I suppose that surprised him most. I loved my brother, I honestly loved him, but he had to start fixing his own life as well.

And I wasn't supposed to prevent him from doing this just because I was a lost teenage boy. He deserved a good life, my brother. He was a good man.

A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I had some awful exams and it was hard for me to find time for this story since it's more complicated and I need to spend more time thinking on it. Hope you enjoy. I would appreciate you sharing your thoughts on it.