I spent the next day hidden out in Lissa's room with her, despite my house arrest. Natalie was out and about with friends, but Lissa didn't feel like socializing with anyone.
The only times we ventured out of her room were for lunch and the feeders. Technically, I was supposed to be in my room, but I didn't really care. Lissa needed me.
When we went to lunch, the whispers followed us.
It was still alive when she found it.
It was all over her blanket!
Just staring blankly!
Still alive.
Still alive.
Still alive.
Lissa was becoming more and more upset. The rumors were circulating and had begun to swirl around in her head, beating at her.
I should have known something like this would happen. Alice had foretold it, just the day before. You aren't protecting the Princess, Rose.
I had been so wrapped up in my crush on Dimitri that I had been neglecting my best friend. Lissa was the only one who had ever really cared about me. She had invited me over to her house for holidays and summers. I had spent the majority of my Thanksgivings and Christmases with the Dragomirs, and this was how I repaid her- by neglecting her.
"Hey, Liss," I started. "Do you want to go to the gym with me?" I was just trying to take her mind off of the whispers, really.
She looked at me incredulously. "Go to the gym with you? Have you ever even been to the gym?" she asked.
"Well, yeah. I go all the time," I told her. "I found it helps my magic, me being in shape and stuff."
"Well, I guess I could go… is there a certain dress code?"
I nearly guffawed at her. A dress code? For the gym?
Instead, I held my laughter inside. "No. But I would suggest wearing something other than a dress if you're planning on working out with me!"
"Do you have anything I could wear?" she looked at me beseechingly. I knew for a fact that Lissa wouldn't have any active wear
"Yeah, I might have something that will fit you," I examined her. Really, I knew that Lissa and I were not the same size, but maybe we could find some way to get my clothes to fit her.
We went to my room, and she sat down on my bed while I looked through my wardrobe. I finally found some spandex that were a little too tight on me most days.
"I don't know if these will actually fit you," I told her. "We can try them, though."
I motioned for her to go into my bathroom and try them on.
She came out a few minutes later. Well, they sort of fit. Well enough to go to an empty gym, anyway. They were kind of baggy in the butt and on the thighs, but fit pretty well in the waist.
"They'll stay up, at least," I commented.
She nodded. "Do you have any shirts?"
I began to rifle through my clothes once again, intent to find something.
I finally found a shirt that hadn't fit me since we'd left the elementary campus. It was a pale pink color with sparkles sewn onto the hem. "Sorry," I said, wincing at the ugliness.
"Can you believe that was in style back then?"
"Didn't you wear this in eighth grade?" she asked.
"Yep. Well, you might as well go try it on. Sorry, but my sports bras won't fit you at all."
She came back, tied on some Ked's, and departed with me to the gym.
When we got there, there was one dhampir in the gym. I stared him down, trying to figure out whether he would snitch on us. It was Mason Ashford. He was a novice who was in my Pre-Calculus class.
"Hey, Rose, Lissa!" he waved, smiling. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Just working out," I tried to shrug nonchalantly. "It's Lissa's first time."
"An exercise virgin, huh?" he asked jokingly.
I grinned at him. We talked occasionally in class, usually during homework time or when I had a question about the lesson. He was pretty chill.
"That's Lissa, for sure," I said. "She had to borrow my clothes!" I crowed.
"Well, if you two need any help, don't hesitate to call me over," he offered, winking.
"You act as if we're a bunch of girls," I said, a little offended.
"Well, you are girls," he said, confused. "And Moroi. Moroi never exercise."
I leveled a glare at him, before backing off and smiling my best man-eater smile. "You won't tell anyone, will you?" I batted my eyelashes at him.
Lissa sent me a shocked feeling through the bond. Why are you flirting with him?
"Now why would I do that?" he asked.
"I dunno," I said. "I just know that I'm not supposed to leave my dorm for anything, even studying, without my guardian."
He sent me a pitying look.
"You poor caged animal," he commented.
I grinned at his sarcasm. "I can't be tamed, Ashford!"
He laughed. "Right, well I'll let you get on with your workout if you let me get on with mine!"
"Deal," I told him.
We walked our separate ways. "What were you doing back there, Rose?" Lissa whispered as we walked to the opposite side of the room, towards the weight machines.
"Just covering our tracks," I told her. "I'm not supposed to be out and about, remember?"
She nodded. "I remember, but I figured you just didn't care. And anyway, why did you have to flirt with that poor boy in order to do that? He's much too smitten with you."
"What?" I asked, confused.
She gave me an annoyed huff, but looked much too adorable doing it to really bother me. "He likes you, Rose!" she whispered this again, clearly being careful for him not to overhear us.
Thinking back, his face did have a certain glow whenever I talked to him. Too bad I couldn't like him back, either. He may have been a dhampir, but it was pretty common for teenagers to test the waters when it came to species. Mason was certainly nice. He was cute, even.
But Mason wasn't Dimitri.
I pushed the thought of Dimitri down and focused on helping Lissa.
"First," I said. "We'll stretch."
I demonstrated the different stretches for her, then did them with her. I hoped that my back wouldn't ache too much without Dimitri stretching it for me.
We jogged half a mile; Lissa was red faced and out of breath by the end of the first one.
After that, I taught her how to use the weight machines. Dimitri and I had been using them since about a week after I had began working out with him.
Lissa, it turned out, did not like working out.
"How can you stand this, Rose?" she whined. "I stink and my face is probably red and my muscles are starting to cramp."
I just grinned at her. "Do you feel a little better?" I asked.
She thought for a moment before nodding. "Good," I said. "You wanna go back to the dorms and clean up?"
She nodded again, and we linked arms as we walked toward the door.
By that time, Mason was long gone, probably running laps.
As I went to open the door, the door moved far too easily.
I looked to see who was on the other side, only to find Dimitri staring down at me.
"Dimitri?" I asked, shocked.
"Aren't you supposed to be in your dorm?" he asked, knowing full well that I was on house arrest when I wasn't in classes or with my guardian.
I tried to think of a lie, but didn't have the heart to lie to him. His eyes were both stern and amused, and I didn't know how he managed to pull that off.
Instead, I smiled at him. "I just wanted to work out," I said. "I heard you should only have one day a week off from running."
His eyes softened even more, and I think he didn't see Lissa behind me. "You could have come and found me, then," he replied. "I would have come with you."
Lissa came out from behind the door, looking befuddled. "Hello, Princess," he put his guardian mask up as quickly as he had dropped it. I nearly sighed.
"Hi, Guardian Belikov. Do you usually supervise Rose when she runs? She seems to be in tip-top shape!" she smiled angelically at him.
"Yes, I do. She seems determined to exercise every day," he shot me a careful look. He knew that I hadn't told Lissa about him training me.
"Well, I definitely couldn't keep up," she said lightly.
"Sorry, Dimitri," I looked up into his eyes, silently begging for his approval. "I knew that I felt better when I ran off my frustration, so I thought it might help Lissa, too."
He nodded in understanding. "Where are you two off to now?" he asked.
Lissa and I looked at each other. "We were going to the dorms, but if you wanted to, you could hang out with us," Lissa said. I sensed her using compulsion on him, hearing the soothing and logical tone in her voice.
"No, he doesn't have to do that, Lissa," I told her sharply. I glanced at Dimitri, who wasn't exactly under her thrall, still in the process of trying to shake it off. "He was probably on his way to work out, himself."
"Oh, okay," she said, slightly hurt. She dropped the compulsion, and Dimitri finally managed to shake the it completely off.
"I should definitely take you two back to the dorms," he interjected. "I'd hate for you to get in trouble just for working out."
I smiled again, my heart tugging as he half-smiled back. "Next time you two want to go to the gym, just ask me," he said.
He tugged at a piece of his hair; it had fallen out of his hair-tie at the nape on his neck. Dimitri was nervous. I wondered if it was because of Lissa.
He walked alongside us across campus. Occasionally, my hand would brush against his on accident. Each time, it would leave electrical currents circling through my veins and joints.
If Lissa picked up on this, she didn't mention it.
When we arrived at my room, Dimitri nodded at us. "Bye, Princess," he said, nodding respectfully. "I'll see you around, Rose."
When he looked at me, he smiled just a little, sending a wave as he walked away.
As I closed the door behind us, Lissa commented, "Guardian Belikov seems pretty relaxed around you."
I gave her a frank look. "What do you expect? I spend an hour with him after school every day."
She nodded.
I remembered how she had attempted to compel him. My earlier anger and irritation came back, full force.
"I can't believe you were using compulsion on him!" I raved.
She looked taken aback. "Usually you don't care. Usually, you encourage me to compel people to get out of trouble," she defended herself.
"This wasn't a life or death situation! That's my guardian, already trying to protect me! Dimitri wouldn't rat us out unless we were doing something dangerous!"
"Okay, okay," she relented. "Sorry, I won't do it again. I just don't get why you care so much!"
I sat down, mostly feeling a little pathetic and rejected. Of course she wouldn't get it. I hadn't told her how I felt about him. As I studied her more, I realized I couldn't tell her. I didn't know if she would ever understand.
TRSTRSTRS
When we returned back to classes on Monday, the rumors about the fox had flared back up.
When we got to Animal Behavior and Physiology, I noticed that Mia looked undeniably smug. I pondered whether she was the one to kill the fox, but decided that she wouldn't do that. Mia seemed to be more fond of fighting with her words, not actions.
Who could have done it? Why would they have done it?
When we were talking about wolves, Mia raised her hand to ask a question.
"Yes, Miss Rinaldi?" Ms. Meissner asked.
"I was just wondering… do foxes have Alphas, too?"
She sent a vicious grin our way. The class broke into nervous giggles. No one could believe that Mia would go there.
"We are talking about wolves today, Miss Rinaldi," Ms. Meissner said sternly.
Soon, she set us off to work in groups of two for an assignment. I could sense Lissa's pain at the mention of the fox.
"Don't worry," I told her. "I've got a way-"
"Hey, Lissa!"
I looked up, annoyed at being interrupted. When I saw who was interrupting me, I became even more irritated. Ralf Sarcozy. He was a schmuck. He was pretty chubby by Moroi standards, and also rather unattractive. He also thought he was the shit because his mom was a royal. He didn't seem to get that he was only half Voda.
"So admit it," he said obnoxiously. "You killed the fox. You're trying to convince Kirova that you're unstable, so you can escape again."
"Screw you," I told him quietly.
"Are you offering?" he asked.
"From what I've heard, there isn't that much to screw," I said. He wanted to play? I could play.
"Wow. You have changed," he commented nonchalantly. "Last I remembered, you weren't too picky about who you got naked with."
"At least I can manage to get naked with someone," I shot back.
"Hey, I just got it!" he said, a nasty smile on his face. "It was you who killed the fox! Some kind of weird lesbian vood- ahh!"
Ralf was on fire.
Ms. Meissner finally noticed that something was going on and ran to get the fire extinguisher. Before she could spray it, however, the flames died out.
There wasn't a single singe mark on him.
I was jealous.
"Ms. Hathaway!" Ms. Meissner said angrily. "The nerve of you- setting a classmate on fire!"
She was interrupted by a round of laughter from none other than Christian Ozera. He had been the one to set Ralf on fire. I admired his gumption. However, I decided right then and there that I did not want him around Lissa. He was far too unstable. Far more unstable than me, if I hadn't even thought of setting Ralf on fire.
I was still kind of jealous that I hadn't done that, and I didn't know the spell.
"To the Headmistress' office!" Ms. Meissner pointed him out the door. He continued laughing as he walked out the door.
"Liss, you need to stay away from him," I pleaded. "He just set a guy on fire!"
She nodded, finally in agreement.
After school, I met up with Dimitri. "Hi," I said a little nervously.
"Hello, Rose," he said.
"So what do you want me to do this afternoon?"
"Well, you know you have your laps. After that, we can try to spar, if you'd like."
I looked up at him incredulously. "You'd really spar with me?" I asked.
There was an amused look in his eyes, and his lips twitched a little.
"I will," he said. "I need to see where you are so we can either fix it or build on it."
I nodded, walking over to stretch.
After my laps, which Dimitri had kept at sixteen, we walked over to the area where there were lines.
"These red lines," he explained, "are out. If either of us step outside of them, the other gets a point. Each time you get a hit on me, you get a point, and vice versa. No hitting is allowed about the base of the neck."
I nodded, taking in the rules.
"So first, you'll want to get into your fighting stance."
I looked at him, confusedly. "There's a fighting stance?" I asked.
He pinched the bridge of his nose for the merest second, muttering something in Russian.
"You'll want to stand sideways," he told me. "Then you'll want to stand with your feet a shoulder-length apart. Crouch a little, but don't tense your muscles too much. Also, keep your hands close to your body."
I looked at him. He shook his head and moved over to adjust my body. I tried not to shiver when he touched my bare skin.
"Now," he began, "You can make the first move."
I looked at him uncertainly. I didn't even know what to do.
He began to circle me, so I copied his movements. I finally decided on a course of action as I took in his height and strength.
I sprang towards him, aiming a roundhouse kick at his stomach. He blocked it immediately. Before I could think of another move, he made his own.
My God, the way he moved was beautiful.
He hooked his leg around mine, creating a momentum to bring both of us down, with him on top of me.
I felt a slight pressure beneath my left breast. I looked to see his hand there. His hand was pressed against my ribs, seemingly holding an invisible stake. "Dead," he whispered.
That fight had been less than twenty seconds, I realized.
All other thought fled from my mind as I got caught in his eyes, staring directly into my own. They were the most beautiful brown color, almost as if they really had been mixed with chocolate.
His hair was hanging around both of our faces, creating a curtain that hid away the rest of the world. All I wanted in that moment was to kiss him. It was all I had wanted for a while, really. But now, the temptation was too much. If he didn't move, I would surely cave in and kiss him.
Luckily, or maybe unluckily, he finally seemed to come back to his senses. He rolled off of me and then offered me a hand.
"That wasn't bad," he commented, dispelling any tension that had been present.
"It lasted less than twenty seconds!" I exclaimed. "I'm horrible!"
"Well, you've never actually fought before," he said, shrugging. "If we really work at this, you could be good. You have good instincts from what I saw in that short time."
I looked at him, analyzing whether he was telling the truth. I couldn't really tell.
"Let's try again," he suggested.
I was all for it.
TRSTRSTRS
On Halloween night, Lissa and I hung out in her room with Natalie. We even dressed up; Lissa was an ice-skater and I was a princess. Normally, I would hate dressing up as a princess, but it was the only costume Natalie had from previous years that would stretch enough to fit me.
I had to say, the dress fit me like a glove.
"Oh, Rose," Lissa sighed happily. "You look so pretty!"
"Thanks, Liss," I said as I finished straightening my hair. Usually, it was pretty long but now it was down to my bottom, without any wave in it.
I looked hot.
If only Dimitri could see me.
It was then that I thought up a plan. "Hey, Liss?" I began.
"Yeah?" I could feel her curiosity through the bond.
"What do you say to going to a few parties in the dhampir dorms?"
She frowned at me. "We aren't that close of friends with any of the novices," she observed.
I nearly sighed. "Mason Ashford invited me, and I thought you might want to stop by for a few minutes," I said.
"But what if we got caught? You're already on thin ice! Guardian Belikov already caught us last weekend at the gym!"
"He didn't care," I blew her comment off. "And actually, I wanted to stop by and say happy Halloween to him, anyway."
"Why?" she narrowed her eyes in confusion.
"Well, honestly, I just kind of want to bug him," I grinned.
"We don't have to stay long, do we?" she asked.
"Of course not, Liss," I promised. "I really just wanted to say hi to Mason and then say hi to Dimitri."
Her eyes narrowed again, and she became suspicious. She knew that I wasn't telling her something.
"Rose, do you have a crush on someone?" she asked, grinning.
I finally remembered Natalie was in the room, and she was looking on in wide-eyed interest.
The name Mason came through the bond and I sighed in relief. She hadn't figured out that I was falling harder and harder for Dimitri.
"No," I protested. "Anyways, let's go! The party will be in full swing by now!"
"Do you want to come, Natalie?" Lissa invited her cousin. I really hadn't wanted Natalie on this escapade, but if she could keep Lissa company while I snuck up to Dimitri's it would be all the better.
"I don't know… I don't know the dhampirs very well at all."
"Come on, Nat," I grinned at her. "It should be fun!"
"Oh, well, alright. Do I look okay?" she asked. She was dressed in a Tinkerbell costume that really just made her look even more pale. But hey, I wasn't going to burst her bubble.
"You look great," I fudged.
"Alright!" she smiled, showing the smallest amount of fangs.
We snuck out of the room, careful to avoid the dorm matrons and several guardians along the way.
A few times I had to pull them into alcoves to stay hidden.
At one point, Lissa whispered, "How do you know about all these?"
"A trickster never reveals her, uh, tricks," I answered mysteriously.
"That's magicians, Rose," she laughed quietly, her chest heaving the smallest amounts against my back.
I checked to make sure the coast was clear before ushering them towards the dhampir dorms. "Here we are, ladies," I announced. "Now, there is a door in the back that should be unlocked."
"Seriously, how do you know all this?" Lissa raised an eyebrow at me. Ugh, how jealous that made me.
"A magician never reveals her tricks," I snorted.
Lissa just rolled her eyes while Natalie giggled.
"Now, go!" I whisper-shouted.
We made a break for it, running towards the door in the back of the building. We finally made it and I pulled the door open quietly, hoping it wasn't squeaky.
It led right up to a staircase. "Mason said his room was on the second floor," I told them. "We'll probably be able to find it with the music," I surmised.
They nodded in agreement, and as we walked up the stairs we could indeed hear music emanating from the second floor.
"I'd say it's this way!" I said excitedly.
Honestly, I wasn't that thrilled about the party. Now I just had an excuse for being out of my dorm, besides just seeing Dimitri.
We knocked on the door, even though it was common party practice to just walk in.
Mason opened the door, his smile brightening the moment he saw us. "Rose!" he looked behind me. "Lissa, Natalie! It's great to see you guys!"
"Back at ya," I grinned.
"Come on in, guys," he said. He gestured grandiosely towards the party, which really did have hardly any Moroi. "We're about to play beer pong," he said excitedly.
I nearly groaned.
"Don't tell me you're bad at that game, Rose," he guffawed. "I thought you said you were good at everything you did?"
"Oh, I am," I smiled my man-eater smile. "And I do mean everything," at this point I wiggled my eyebrows. "I just don't like beer pong."
"You'd lose anyway," he said. "Eddie's the reigning champ."
I rolled my eyes. "I'll let him remain king for tonight," I warned.
I watched a couple rounds of beer pong before I made my escape.
TRSTRSTRS
I snuck down the flight of stairs and hid in a crevice I had found a few years before.
I listened for the sound of precise footsteps, a sure sign that a guardian was nearby on their shift. If I was even caught out of the corner of an eye, I could be done for. Wearing a princess dress was rather conspicuous.
I jogged to the staff dorms, picking up the dress to avoid dirtying it or tripping.
I pondered how to get in.
I supposed they wouldn't actually have any security, since they were allowed to wander as they pleased.
I finally decided to walk in through the front door. If worse came to worst, I could just say that I had needed to talk to my guardian. Though they would be suspicious, since I was in a princess dress and I hadn't gone through the correct channels. Whatever. I'd just have to avoid getting caught.
I didn't encounter any staff members, except for a quick call with Guardian Alto who was walking arm-in-arm with another guardian, Celeste something or other.
I got up to Dimitri's room okay. I glanced around cautiously before knocking softly on the door. Oh no, what if he was asleep?
I scolded myself before reasoning that it was only nine. Who would go to sleep at nine, on a weekend especially?
The door opened. "Rose?"
I looked up at Dimitri, who was in a pair of soft looking sweats and a t-shirt that had something written in Cyrillic.
"Hey, Comrade," I said. "I just wanted to come by and say happy Halloween!"
He looked around the hall furtively. He had a frustrated look on his face. "Hurry up and get in here, Rose."
I felt a bit hurt, but did as he said. I had already scouted the hallway.
"Say, do you guys even celebrate Halloween in the old country?"
"Rose," Dimitri said sternly. "You're supposed to be in your room. Not only are you forbidden from social activities, but it's also after curfew. I know that last weekend I let you come here and eat dinner, but you can't just come here uninvited. Especially when anyone could see you, and you could get in massive trouble!"
"It's not like I'd get kicked out anyways," I said bitterly, kicking the floor lightly. "Somebody paid for me to stay here, so here I will stay."
"Money can only cover up so many grievances," he reminded me.
I looked at him calculatingly. Why was he suddenly so different?
"Is something wrong?" I finally asked.
"No," he said a little gruffly.
"Are you sure, Dimitri?" I hoped my use of his first name would soften him. It usually made him happier if I called him by name, instead of Comrade. He'd even told me once that his family called him Dimka. Whatever a Dimka was… "Dimka?" I asked.
He looked at me, a haunted look in his eyes. Something really was wrong.
"You can tell me," I urged. "You said I can tell you anything, and I'm returning the favor."
I sat down on his bed, toeing off the nude colored high heels I'd been wearing all night. I patted the spot next to me, inviting him to relax.
He finally sat down, still sad looking.
"Is it about your old charge?" I asked softly. "Ivan?"
Shock registered on his face, and I could tell that he wasn't used to being read so easily.
"Today's the year anniversary of when he was killed," he muttered.
"Oh, Dimitri," I whispered. I pulled him towards me, for once enveloping him in my hug, instead of the other way around.
I rubbed his back, fighting the urge to kiss his head. Dimitri wasn't mine.
"It's not your fault," I told him. I looked into his eyes. "It isn't," I insisted as he opened his mouth to protest. "It's not like you were on duty," I said. "Weren't you visiting your family?"
He nodded. "See, it isn't your fault, Dimka," I said. Calling him Dimka felt weird on my tongue, and I knew that I wouldn't make it a habit of calling him that. Why couldn't they have nicknamed him Dimi or something? That was much cuter.
I shook the thoughts from my head, trying to comfort him.
"What if it happened again to you?" he finally asked.
"It still wouldn't be your fault," I maintained. "I know you would rather die than let your charge down. As much as I would hate for you to throw your life away for mine," I whispered. "I know you would do it, if you were forced. I have so much faith in you."
His eyelids began to droop a little, and for the first time I noticed that he smelt a little like vodka. Ivan's death really had hit him hard. I had never given it too much thought before.
I continued to rub his back until I was sure he was asleep. I then pulled the blankets out from beneath him, covering him with them.
I threw the empty bottle of vodka out before placing his glass in the sink.
I had a decision to make now. I could stay the night, or I could go back to Mason's party and hang out with Lissa and Natalie.
I checked up on Lissa through the bond. I'd forgotten her for a while, and I felt immensely guilty.
She wasn't drunk, but she was having fun. I think she enjoyed the carefree atmosphere that permeated the whole party. She liked that there were no politics.
I could tell she had had a few drinks, but nothing too bad.
She was safe, she was okay.
I was going to catch hell for this tomorrow, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. I hoped Dimitri didn't mind me rooting through his things to find something to wear. I finally just grabbed a large t-shirt that was big enough to be a dress on me.
I went to the bathroom, taking off the dress that had become uncomfortable within the last hour.
I laid the dress over a chair at the table before turning out the light and lying down on the bed beside Dimitri.
I hoped he would feel better in the morning. Either that, or he was so drunk he wouldn't even remember. He hadn't struck me as being that intoxicated, though. Hopefully, he wouldn't freak out when he found me in his bed.
My eyes were getting heavier and heavier, and finally I let them droop. I vaguely noticed that one of us had scooted closer to each other as I fell asleep.