That revelation had the power to shake up my world. The thought of Dimitri looking at me in that baby doll didn't disturb me in the least. In fact, it made me blush a little.

Instead of giving the idea more thought, I banished it to the back of my mind; I had more shopping to do.

We ended up eating at Red Robin.

I got sat between Lissa and Camille. I didn't like Camille at all, but at least she was being civil. Though, her niceness was mainly due to Lissa's compulsion. Whatever.

Two out of three of the guardians sat at our table with us. It was their lucky day; they got to eat lunch with the Moroi. How very exciting.

The unlucky guardian, Speridon, was stuck at a bench outside of the restaurant.

I didn't think it was likely to be attacked by any Strigoi today. It was day time. Bad things don't happen in the day.

Both Dimitri and Guardian Alto sat with us. Dimitri was sat directly across from me at the table, while Guardian Alto was sat next to Victor.

I'd never been much inclined to like Guardian Alto. He always looked as if he had smelled something bad.

Lucky Victor, eh?

I had a hard time deciding what I wanted to eat. Everything sounded good. Who was paying for my meal, anyway?

When I found out that St. Vladimir's was actually funding our lunch, I ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. I also got a Monster sized chocolate shake and a Mountain High Mudd Pie for dessert.

Dimitri, Guardian Alto, Victor, and Camille were staring at me in wonder.

"What?" I asked. "Haven't you ever seen a girl eat?" I licked a bit of stray whipped cream from my lips.

"I don't think they've ever seen a Moroi eat like you," Lissa giggled.

I shrugged. "You guys should take advantage of the free meal!"

I caught Camille rolling her eyes in my peripheral vision.

Dimitri's hand reached up to his nose. "You have some whipped cream, right there," he told me.

I attempted to reach my tongue up to lick it, but was unsuccessful.

"God, it's like watching a dog," Guardian Alto gaped, eyes wide.

Dimitri shot him a look of distaste and I was momentarily excited that he had sort of defended my honor.

Finally, I just gave up and wiped it off with my finger. I then took my finger into my mouth, slowly licking off the whipped cream.

Mmm, that was tasty.

I noticed that they were all staring at me again. "What?" I asked.

After I finally finished my meal, Guardian Alto handed the waitress a credit card that must have belonged to the school.

"So, how much did I set ole Kirova back?" I asked eagerly.

Dimitri gave me a look that clearly said, One does not ask such things.

Lissa's look said the same thing.

After the bill was settled, we broke into small groups again.

Lissa dragged me to Dillards. "We need to find dresses for the dance!" she nearly yelled.

We did eventually find dresses. Lissa's was a pale pink sheath that would complement her coloring wonderfully.

Mine, however, was a little black dress. I tried it on in the dressing room before stepping out to model for Lissa. She ooh'd and ahh'd, clapping excitedly.

This was a dress that ended violence. This was a dress that started religions.

The dress managed some major clinging action. I knew that on the typical Moroi chest, this dress would fall flat. However, my slightly larger than average chest managed to hold it up dutifully.

I saw Dimitri lurking in a corner nearby, looking as if he wasn't paying attention to us. I didn't know how guardians managed it, to be honest. How did they look like they were looking at everything and nothing at the same time?

I smiled at Dimitri, twirling in the dress to show it to him.

He smiled the barest amount at me before turning away to place the shirt he had been "thinking about buying" back on the rack.

I soon emerged from the dressing room, telling Lissa that I couldn't let her buy the dress.

"But Rose," she whined. "It's your dress. It's like it was made for you."

It was my dress.

I'd already let her buy me those shorts, that lingerie, and a few other things along the way, though. "Liss, you can't waste all your inheritance on me!"

She rolled her eyes. "I swear, Rose. Your clothing tastes have gotten so boring lately!"

"No, they haven't," I argued.

She eyed my bags that contained two thermals and a plain t-shirt.

"Oh, alright," I conceded.

"Yay! I knew this dress would be perfect for you!"

I couldn't deny her, especially when she was my sister in all the ways that mattered. She was really the only one I had left.

On the way out of the mall, we stopped by a jewelry shop. Lissa pulled me over to a rose necklace.

Normally, I didn't like rose stuff. Lissa knew that, which was why she often felt inclined to buy them for me. However, even I had to admit that the necklace was gorgeous.

That is, until we saw the price.

"Oh look," I teased. "Even you have limits."

Lissa giggled and we looked over to see Victor placing a bracelet on Natalie's wrist. I hoped it was extra expensive to make up for his ignoring her on the ride here. Maybe that would shut the girl up.

On the way back, I sat next to Dimitri again.

Everyone fell asleep within twenty minutes, and I was on my way there, as well.

I kept nodding off, my head jerking every few minutes.

"You can lean your head on my shoulder if you want," Dimitri told me.

His shoulder probably was very comfortable. I allowed myself to lean on him. He was warm. That was nice.

"Did you see the dress?" I asked him quietly.

I didn't want anyone else to hear our conversation. The only ones awake were Victor and the guardians, but I would rather not have them think anything was going on between me and Dimitri.

He glanced down at me and gave me the barest of smiles. "Yes, I did."

"Will I endanger my reputation if I wear it?" I jokingly asked.

"You'll endanger the school," he answered. I looked at him, smiled, and fell asleep. I was content.

TRSTRSTRS

When I woke up, we were arriving at school. I was covered by Dimitri's duster, which smelled like his aftershave. I snuggled into it for another moment before Dimitri shook me gently. "We're back at school, Rose."

I smiled at him. He was so beautiful.

"Alright!" We all got out of the van and gathered our shopping bags.

Everything seemed so perfect! Lissa was quieting the rumors (no matter how detrimental it was to her, I appreciated the gesture), Dimitri seemed to like me, and I had a gorgeous dress to wear to the dance that I would probably be allowed to attend.

I hopped up on bench after bench, feeling like I might fly away.

That is, until my foot fell through one of them.

I heard a sickening crunch and felt a nauseating pain in my ankle.

Seconds later, Dimitri was by my side.

I was beginning to black out from the pain, but I could see snapshots of his worried face.

He broke apart the wood from my ankle and then finally, I passed out.

TRSTRSTRS

I woke up to blinding white.

Oh no. I recognized this place.

The clinic.

"You're awake," a voice said.

I turned to see Dimitri sitting in an uncomfortable looking chair right next to the bed.

"What happened?" I asked, still a little dazed.

"The bench was rotted," Dimitri explained. "I had to carry you in from the bench."

I'd missed being in Dimitri's arms?

Dr. Olendzki came in. "I thought I heard voices in here. How are you feeling, Rose?"

"Pretty good, actually," I told her. I leaned down to examine my ankle. There was only a red line present. "I thought I had broken it or something."

"By the way you were screaming when Guardian Belikov carried you in here, I thought it had been amputated," she joked. "You'll just need to rest for an hour and then I'll discharge you, okay?"

I nodded, and she left us alone again.

"Was I really screaming?" I asked Dimitri.

He nodded. "Bloody murder. You kept screaming for Lissa, too."

"How embarrassing," I muttered, fighting a blush.

"She was the only one who could calm you down. After she visited, you were as quiet as could be."

"Well I'm glad it isn't broken," I said. "I'd hate to get behind in training."

"You mentioned that a few times," he laughed. He then pulled out a box. "You've got some presents."

"What?" I asked. The box looked like it contained jewelry.

"This is from Prince Victor."

"For what?" I asked, shocked. Why would he buy me anything?

"Well, originally, it was a 'congratulations on your release from probation' gift. After what happened, it became a 'get well soon' gift."

I nodded blankly, opening up the box.

Inside was the rose necklace.

"Woah. That's some get well present," I said. I looked at the note attached, which read:

Rosemarie,

You lead a truly charmed life. Get well soon.

Prince Victor

"You should probably thank him," Dimitri suggested.

"Yeah, I definitely need to," I agreed thoughtfully. I knew that a prince would have tons of money, but why would Victor blow that much of it on me?

"You did say presents, right?" I asked eagerly.

He laughed at me. "Yes," he began to pull a bag out of his duster. "This is from me."

It was a small Victoria's Secret bag. I opened it up.

It was my favorite lip gloss.

I'd been complaining about running low on my lip gloss for a few weeks now, but I hadn't thought Dimitri had been paying attention.

"Thank you!" I said, leaping off my bed and into his arms.

I heard a small "oomph" come from him before he put his arms around me, chuckling.

I pulled away, still smiling. "Is that a 'congratulations on getting off probation' present as well?" I asked.

"No," he said. He looked down for a second before his eyes came up to meet mine. "I just thought it would make you happy."

He'd gotten me a gift just to make me happy? Be still my beating heart!

I hugged him again. I felt his chest vibrating with laughter. "Thank you," I told him, pulling away once again. All I wanted was to be able to thank him with a kiss.

I knew I couldn't. He was always taken off guard when I hugged him. I still didn't even know for sure if he felt the same way about me.

He could have just wanted his charge to be happy.

I bit my lip, looking at him.

He was looking back at me, some look I couldn't decipher in his eyes.

I finally got out of his lap and into my bed. I applied some of the lip gloss. The tingling mint brought a smile to my face.

"Where's Lissa, anyway?" I asked him.

He shrugged and I checked the bond.

Immediately, I knew something was wrong.

Blood.

At first, I thought it belonged to another dead animal. Then I realized, it was Lissa's.

She was bringing a razor to her wrist, slashing it. So much blood.

This brought a smile to her face. She giggled woozily.

All her life, she had taken blood. From the feeders, from random humans we'd compelled. She thought, maybe if she sacrificed some of the precious Dragomir blood that everyone obsessed over, it would make up for everything.

God.

When the rumors had started, I had felt sad. I had cried. I had been miserable.

This was different. The dark thoughts wouldn't leave her. They swirled around her mind, as if they were a refrain in a song. As if to the beat of a drum, she could hear all the things that had been building up.

Still alive.

Blood whore.

Is that all that a precious Dragomir can afford?

Names do not make the person.

Andre would never have run away.

You're weak.

Still alive. Still alive. Still alive.

The weight of the thoughts was suffocating. This was what depression felt like. This, I realized, was what madness was.

Trapped in her head, I attempted to break out. I had to save her. I had to tell Dimitri. Dimitri would save her.

Dimitri was the thought that finally freed me of her.

I came back into my own body, gasping.

"Lissa- you have to help Lissa!" I told him.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Lissa. She's in the church attic!" I shouted. "You've got to help her. She's in danger!"

I hated to rat on her, but her life was on the line.

The cuts she'd made were deeper than ever. She could die, and it would be my fault.

He immediately sprang into guardian mode. It didn't matter that she wasn't his charge.

What mattered was preserving Moroi life, especially the last one in her line.

Even as she was on her way to her death, one of the main concerns was for the extinction of the royal line.

Of course, what mattered to me was that my best friend stay alive.

Fifteen minutes later, they carried her in on a stretcher.

She was barely awake.

She was immediately taken to another room. I watched through the bond as they forced liquids and blood into her too pale body.

Then, she passed out. I was forced back into myself.

I got up, running to hug Dimitri, who was standing outside my door.

I realized I was crying, but didn't care if Dimitri saw.

He didn't hesitate to encircle his arms around me, encasing me in his warmth and comfort. "Thank you so much," I cried. "I don't know what I'd do if she died!"

He rubbed my back. "She'll be okay," he whispered. "Now she'll just need you to be strong for her."

I nodded, still feeling nauseous from anxiety. To calm myself, I listened to the steady beat of his heart.

"I think she's stable now," he said. "If you want to wait for her to wake up."

"You'd really let me do that?" I asked, shocked. Usually, people just shooed me from the room when something happened with Lissa.

"You did help us find her in time," he reasoned.

I nodded and he guided me towards her room.

I stood in the doorway for a moment to observe her.

Her body was so frail looking. Her skin was chalky, from blood loss, I assumed. Her hair was splayed out on the pillow. Her face was as colorless as the rest of her skin. There was an IV running into her arm. Even passed out, she looked like she was in immense pain.

For once, she didn't look like an angel. Instead, she looked someone who had been chewed up and spit out by life.

It was a sight I never wanted to see again.

I waited by her bedside for hours. Sometimes, Dimitri would stand next to me. Most of the time, it was just me and Lissa.

When I felt her stirring awake through the bond, I sat a little straighter, scooting to the edge of my seat.

"Rose?" she asked groggily.

"Hi Liss," I said cautiously.

"Where am I?" she asked.

Now that she was awake, her emotions were once again in turmoil. It was nothing like the emotions I felt coming from her when she had been in the church attic, though.

"The clinic," I told her.

She looked down at her bandaged wrists. Repulsion swept through her, quickly followed by disappointment. Her disappointment in herself was quickly washed away by anger. Anger at me.

"Liss?" I asked.

"You told them where I was!" she accused. "You were the only one who knew about this!"

"I had to tell them," I defended. "You would have died otherwise!"

"Maybe I wanted to die!" she yelled.

"Don't say that, Liss," I said fervently.

"Get out! Get out! I never want to speak to you again!" she shrieked.

It was as if a silver stake had pierced my heart. Lissa was my best friend. My only true family. Now she hated me as much as my mother did.

"Fine," I whispered, walking away.

As I walked out of the room, Dimitri joined me. "Is everything alright, Rose?" he asked. I looked up at him, still a little numb from Lissa's rejection. His face was serious, but caring.

Dimitri still cared about me, at least. It seemed that he was my only true friend.

How pathetic. My only friend was my twenty-four year old guardian, whom I had a crush on.

I could tell him. Maybe I should tell him everything, I reasoned with myself. I should tell him.

Instead of telling him straight away, I just said, "Not really."

He stopped walking for a moment. "You've both been excused from classes today," he told me.

I nodded absentmindedly.

"You can come and hang out in my room, if you'd like," he suggested.

What? Was Dimitri inviting me up to his room? Again?

This time it wasn't for a meal. I wasn't uninvited. It was just to sit around as friends. Maybe sleep.

"Okay," I agreed.

His face broke out into a smile.

He led me across campus to his room, even though I had already been there on numerous occasions. We didn't come across any guardians as we walked through the lobby and up the stairs.

It was a little strange, really. Whenever I'd been here, no one had ever run into me. This place should have been crawling with guardians, but I guess they were all busy worker bees.

He unlocked the door and motioned for me to go inside. "Ladies first," he quipped.

Had it been anyone else, I would have set their hair on fire. When Dimitri said it, I just felt a small flutter in my chest.

This man was different from the rest. He'd made me blush, giggle, and more responsible. I didn't know how he did it, but I certainly didn't want him to share his secrets with anyone else, either. Rose Hathaway did not blush. She did not giggle. She did not think before she spoke.

I looked at him as he walked in, studying him.

His hair was in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. He was wearing the standard guardian black and white, along with that ridiculous duster. His head nearly touched the ceiling. His eyes were examining me, too.

Finally, I spoke. "Thanks for everything, Comrade."

"It isn't a problem, Roz- Rose," he stuttered. What had he begun to say? It sounded like my name, but different.

I let it go for the moment, noting to myself to add it to my list of things Dimitri related that I needed to examine later.

I walked over to his bookcase, once again remembering how Lissa had so easily thrown me away. I banished her from my mind, wishing that we didn't still have the psychic link connecting us.

"So, why westerns?" I asked.

He walked over to me, standing deliciously close. "Westerns," he began, picking up a copy True Grit. "Westerns are full of adventure."

"Because you don't have enough of that fighting Strigoi?"

He rolled his eyes lightly. "They're full of outlaws and sheriffs. There aren't many rules, and the outlaws don't hesitate to break the ones that are present. They also always get the girl," he joked.

Except I didn't think he was joking. He had a serious look in his eyes. I realized that as dedicated as Dimitri was to his job, he really did crave that sort of life. I felt immensely guilty. I was what was keeping him from his family. I was what kept him from a free life. If he wasn't my guardian, maybe he would be out there, living off the land. Away from the Moroi. Away from rules and regulations and societal standards.

"You just wish you were an outlaw," I teased.

"You caught me red handed," he said, smiling.

He put True Grit back on the bookshelf. "Are you tired?" he asked.

Now that he mentioned it, I was exhausted. I hadn't slept since before shopping, which had only been for about an hour. Before that, I hadn't slept since before school. Basically, I hadn't slept in twenty-three hours.

I also hadn't had blood in almost twenty-four hours. Normally, when I realized this, I would go to the feeders. However, I didn't want to leave Dimitri's side until I had to.

"Yeah," I said.

"You can sleep on my bed, if you'd like," he told me.

"Aren't you tired?" I asked.

"Yes, but I can sleep on my chair," he explained.

"What?" I looked at him. "Why would you do that?" I asked.

"That's the gentlemanly thing to do," he said. "It isn't proper for me to sleep in the same bed as you."

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Comrade. That isn't fair for you. I promise I won't take advantage of you."

He chuckled. "I couldn't do that, Rose. You're my charge."

"Well it's your bed," I argued.

"It isn't-"

"Proper," I finished for him. "Please?" I asked, deciding to guilt him into it. "I don't want to sleep alone right now," I pouted a little and batted my eyes.

I could see him caving. "Oh, alright," he conceded. Even though the sun would be going down soon, he went to close the curtains, making the room instantly darker.

"Do you want some sleep clothes?" he asked.

I nodded.

He walked to his wardrobe and pulled out a sweatshirt that had something written in Cyrillic. I tried to decipher it. Москва. Moskva. Moscow.

He handed it to me, rooting around for the pair of sweats that I had yet to return to him. "I really don't need any pants, Comrade," I said.

He gave me a look.

"I haven't brought you back those sweats," I confessed.

He scratched his head. "Right. Those are the only ones like that," he said.

"I figured, since it took you so long last time. And anyway, I'm fine."

He pursed his lips.

"I have honorable intentions towards you, I swear," I told him. Okay, maybe they weren't exactly honorable. In fact, the things I wanted to do to him were the opposite of honorable. He didn't need to know that.

I went to the bathroom to change. I rinsed my face with cold water before taking a whiff of his aftershave. I loved that smell. It smelt even better on Dimitri than it did in the bottle, though.

I walked out to find him in his own pajamas. A pair of long flannel pants and a matching t-shirt.

I laid down on the side of the bed that I had napped on previously, the left.

"You're lucky that's not my side of the bed," Dimitri joked as he turned the lamps out.

He laid down on the far side of the bed, almost falling off of it.

"Jeez Dimitri, I don't have cooties," I teased.

He chuckled and scooted a little closer to me.

"So I'm guessing you're not from Moscow?" I asked.

"Siberia, actually. A little town called Baia."

"Sounds cute already," I commented.

I could see him clearly, even in the dark. One of the benefits of being Moroi, I guess. I wondered if he could see me at all.

His face had a contemplative quality to it. "Yes. I think you'd like it."

"What's it like?" I asked.

"It's not really like the rumors you hear when you hear about dhampir communes. Everyone is like a big family. We all take care of each other. It's really a good place to grow up."

"Do Moroi men actually come and go?" I asked, too curious to reign in my intrusive questions.

"A little," he admitted. "But you know that in my house, it was really only my father who came and went."

I remembered him telling me about how he'd beat his dad up when he was thirteen. "It was a good thing, what you did," I told him.

I could feel his guilt over it. I didn't know how.

He looked as shocked as I felt.

My eyes were drooping.

I reached out to him and grabbed his hand. It was a lot bigger than mine, but still seemed to fit perfectly. His hand was warm and comforting. I felt the usual electric current flowing in my veins from my hand, but for once it didn't shock me. Instead, it just lulled me further to sleep.

I dropped off into sleep, wondering if I'd imagined Dimitri saying, "Oh, Roza."