Date 20: Asuma and Naruto

"Ne,ne Asuma-sensei! I wanna train!"

"Perfectly fine with me!" Asuma cheered happily hoping to stir the conversation away from the fact that his blind date was Naruto.

"So teach me wind manipulation!"

"You know Naruto." Asuma had an evil idea. Yes he wasn't the type for evil ideas but he wanted revenge against Tsunade. When Kurenai found out that his date was some hot chic she kicked him out of the apartment they shared. He's been staying at Gai's house for the last three weeks. He didn't know how much longer his sanity would hold up.

"What is it Asumae-sensei?" Naruto asked his eyes wide and curious.

"I think it's time you learned about the bird and bees."

"What about the birds and the bees?"

"It's an expression."

"Expression for what?"

"Sex"

Naruto's face was something very similar to this….. (O.O)

Half and hour later

"I-I… I see…. So…" He made a loop with his middle finger touching his thumb and put his index finger on the other hand through the loop.

"Yep! And make sure that you don't miss the hole! Well see you later Naruto! And if you have anymore questions go see Tsunade!"

"But!" Naruto had hundreds of questions. Asuma-sensei only went into detail about a few things. "I guess I'll go see granny Tsunade then." He skipped off to the Hokage's office.

(line)

Tsunade was, for the first time in a long while, happy. She sipped at her delicious, hot tea and leaned back in her impressive Hokage chair.

"This is the life." She sighed. "If only it could be like this all the time. Nice, peaceful and most of all… quiet."

"OY! GRANNY TSUNADE!!!!!!" Naruto yelled charging into her office. Naruto just barely avoided the chair she threw at him.

"SHUT UP YOU-!"

"What's sex like?" Her jaw dropped.

"W-what's sex like?"

"Yeah! Asuma-sensei was telling me about the "birds and the bees" But he didn't go into much detail."

"What did he tell you?" She asked. This had to be revenge. It just had to be.

"Well Asuma sensei said that when a man and woman get together they pull out their magic wands and dance around a circle naked in a forest meadow singing kom buy ah (I don't know how to spell it) and then the guy puts his finger in the woman's mouth and a baby pops out of the ground and magic fairies fly down and bless the baby and centaurs give it rides and little gnomes feeds it honey and-"

"That is not sex at all."

"? Then what is it?" She sighed.

"Okay Naruto listen up cuz I'm only saying this once. Sex is…"

Five hours and immense detail later….

"…"

"You understand now, right Naruto?"

"…"

"I'm surprised Jiraiya didn't tell you yet."

"…"

"Well truthfully I gave you the same talk he gave me and Orochimaru. Oro never was that same after…. Anyways get out of my office. I rarely have a day where I can just relax."

In a daze the color blind ninja walked out of the room. Just as he left Shizune came running in whit ha huge pile of papers in her hands.

"This is just not my day…" Tsunade did the mature thing to do, she jumped out the window and speed off.