"I don't think my pills are working anymore."

I glanced at Lissa, confused. "What?"

She'd been taking pills since the Victor incident three weeks before.

"Don't freak out," she spoke in a calm tone, trying to alleviate my fears. "I just feel closer to the magic."

"What about your moods?" I asked.

"They're… alright," she hesitated. I could feel her emotions, though. She should know better than to lie to me. She sometimes felt the anger and depression setting in, before it would be gone.

In fact, I felt some lurking in a dark corner of her mind right at that moment. I poked and prodded at it.

For a moment, I felt something shift in me. I felt angry at her for not telling me sooner. I shook the thought from my head. I looked through her mind for the darkness, but it was gone.

I wondered if I'd imagined it.

"Tell me if it gets worse," I ordered.

She nodded, her blonde hair moving forward a little. She looked like an angel. Today she was wearing a green sweater than complemented her eyes perfectly.

We continued to walk towards the dorm building. When I got to her room, she waved me in.

"So what else is up?" I asked.

"Christian and I are going to meet up," she said excitedly.

What?

Ew.

"Well, I'd better split," I told her. "I don't want to see Sparky at this time of day."

She gave me an odd look. "Have fun!" I called. "Be safe!"

"Rose! We aren't having sex tonight," she looked a little scandalized. I didn't understand why she looked that way, when I knew for a fact that she was hoping for it. I dug a little deeper in her mind and realized they had it planned, just not tonight.

Ew.

"Not any of my business," I told her a little bitterly.

She didn't catch my tone, and I was grateful she hadn't. She didn't need to catch wind of my feelings for Dimitri.

"Seriously," I told her. "Just in case, be safe. No love without a glove," I quipped.

She rolled her eyes. "If you really don't want to see Christian, you should probably leave soon. He's supposed to be here in five minutes."

"Ick," I muttered. "See ya, Liss."

I walked back to my dorm room moodily.

It wasn't that I was jealous of her, well not of her being intimate with Christian. It was more that she was able to be in the relationship that she wanted, and act on it.

I knew sometimes it was difficult for the two, sure. After all, Christian was a "Strigoi wanna-be" and she was the only living Dragomir. People weren't exactly accepting of their relationship, but nobody tried to stop them either. They were happy.

I unlocked my door, immediately heading for my bed. If I didn't want to get sucked into her head, I couldn't go to sleep until Christian had left her presence. I pulled out the copy of Shalako that I had stolen from Dimitri.

My fingers traced the embossed title, missing the moments where Dimitri and I had read the book together. At least then I'd been able to be in his presence. Now, he only trained me and left. No more personal contact, besides that.

I read the lines that had been underlined by him, trying to peak into his mind. It wasn't difficult. Most of the lines were about love and blah blah blah.

I hid the book back under my mattress and trudged over to my window. It wasn't bright out, but in a matter of an hour or so, it would be. The snow was glistening gorgeously under the sunrise, a little of the pinks and oranges reflecting on it.

I scoffed. Soon it would be winter break, and I really would have nothing to do with myself.

I closed the curtains, deciding now was a good time to clean my room. It was getting to be too much of a mess, even for me.

Two hours later, my room was spotless. I checked in on Lissa cautiously. I felt a wave of relief when I realized Christian had left. I could finally sleep!

I turned out the lights, and I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

TRSTRSTRS

After training with Dimitri the next morning, I went to the library in search of Lissa.

I found them in a corner, looking over a book of their lineages. "Look, I have enough Dragomir blood for our children to count at Dragomirs!" Christian cooed.

The only time I ever heard him use that sickening tone of voice was when he and Lissa were discussing their future.

"You're already talking about procreating with, that?" I asked her.

Lissa winced a little, while Christian sneered at me. "Hi, Rose," she said.

"You're just jealous," Christian responded.

I smirked at him. "I'm jealous that she gets to see your pasty ass? Try again."

"Guys, please stop fighting," Lissa groaned. We glared at each other, but stopped throwing barbs back and forth.

"Did you hear about the Badica attack?" Lissa changed the subject.

I frowned, trying to recall any news of an attack on one of the royal families. "Um, no… when did that happen?"

"A few days ago, apparently," she answered. "Guardians found them, along with Guardian Schoenberg dead. They say that the wards were broken with a stake."

"But Strigoi can't touch stakes," I argued.

"Humans helped," Christian informed me.

"Humans… helping Strigoi? What has the world come to?"

They both shook their heads.

"Wasn't Guardian Schoenberg supposed to be one of the best?" I asked. I'd heard stories about him from novices. From what I'd been told, he was basically a legend. I'd even wondered if he even really existed.

Christian nodded.

"And now, he's dead."

Lissa bit her lip and I felt a little bit of sadness coming from her through the bond. She was so compassionate, I kind of envied it.

"Well, that changes everything, doesn't it?"

TRSTRSTRS

The next morning, I found Dimitri in the gym holding a silver stake.

"What's that for?" I asked.

"You," he said, very seriously.

"Huh?"

He laughed. "I figured that in light of the recent Badica attack, I should teach you how to use a stake."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Have you ever heard of Arthur Schoenberg?"

"Guardian Schoenberg? The head guardian of the Badicas?" I affirmed.

"Well, that just proved that no one is invincible," he explained. "As much I would love to say that I won't ever let you down, I can't make that promise."

I stared into his eyes. I knew it took a lot for him to say something like that. His job meant a lot to him, and I also knew that he was still haunted by Ivan Zeklos' death.

"Okay," I accepted.

"What can you tell me about silver stakes?" he asked.

I bit my lip. Honestly, I didn't know a ton. I knew that they were charmed by four elements and the easiest way to kill a Strigoi. And that they could break wards.

I told him all this. He spent the next hour teaching me about their properties, where the stake was supposed to be when you aimed it at a Strigoi, and how to hold it.

At the end of the lesson, he let me hold it.

It was beautiful. The lights gleamed off the silver, making it look just as dangerous as it was rumored to be. "Careful," Dimitri warned. "It's very dangerous to Moroi if you scratch them with it."

I nodded. I felt as if I was carrying the weight of the world in my hands. The stake was heavy, and the point looked oh-so sharp.

"Now," he began. "Can you tell me where the heart is?"

I placed my free hand over my left breast.

He shook his head.

"But that's where we put our hands for the Pledge of Allegiance!"

His lips curled up a little in one corner. "Your homework is to tell me where the heart is, and what protects it."

"Okay," I said.

He gave me a semi-stern look. "You're dismissed."

I snorted angrily as I left. Just dismissing me like that! He clearly didn't want to spend any extra time with me.

As I made my way to the commons, my thoughts were torn away from the sorry state of my non-existent love life to the whispers and giggles that seemed to come from all the students.

I'd have thought they were still talking about the Badica attack, but everyone was too happy for that. That was yesterday's news, apparently. Something new had come up.

After the feeders, I stopped at breakfast. "What's going on?" I asked Lissa.

Her eyes widened. "You haven't heard?"

I shook my head.

"The school is taking everyone to a ski resort after Christmas."

"What?" I was shocked. That had to cost a fortune… Why would they do that?

"It's this really expensive resort in Idaho," she explained. "Usually only really important royals go there."

"And they're just opening up to the public?" I asked.

"I think it's because their wards are as strong as the ones at Court," Christian butted into our conversation.

Understanding swept through me. They wanted to protect all of us, with the holidays.

Families were abundant at St. Vladimir's over the winter break. It would probably be better just to drop us off where there would definitely be enough guardians for all the Moroi and novices.

After I finished eating, I walked Lissa to Russian II and then headed to Russian I.

The day went on, rather boringly, until magic class. Mr. Ibanescue had us warm hot cocoa and roast marshmallows in honor of the impending winter holidays. I definitely enjoyed my s'mores and hot chocolate. I even managed to nab two packets of chocolate powder, instead of just one, remembering Dimitri's advice about how two was always better than one.

Christian watched me disgustedly. "I can't believe you've eaten that many s'mores."

I glared at him. "Do you have a problem with it, Sparky?"

"I don't know why you call me Sparky," he muttered. "You use the same element as me."

"I'm not a pyro, though!" I excused myself.

"Right," he goaded. "I know you have dreams of setting people on fire."

I narrowed my eyes. "I wouldn't ever do that," I said, maybe a little too sweetly.

He rolled his eyes, but I just smiled wickedly. "You have something on your face."

"Right," he said. "Like my nose? Or your fist?"

"As much as I would love for it to be my fist, it's chocolate," I told him. "I know you're meeting Lissa between classes for a little, something-something. I figured I didn't want to picture her kissing it off."

"You're disgusting," he snarked.

"I know you are but what am I?"

"I know you are but what am I?" he copied me.

"Shut up!" someone else in the class shouted.

Christian and I turned to glare at whomever had been listening in on our conversation.

Jesse Zeklos.

I couldn't believe that I had once thought he was hot.

"Stay out of this, dickhead," I told him.

"Miss Hathaway!"

Groaning, I turned towards Mr. Ibanescue.

"Miss Hathaway, you are not to use such language in my class!"

"But he is a dickhead," I told him, defending myself.

A vein bulged a little in his forehead. "Please leave the classroom, Miss Hathaway," he whispered, pointing towards the door.

"Are you sending me to Kirova?" I asked.

"No. I am just excusing you from class, since you can't seem to play well with others right now."

I grabbed my hot chocolate, bag, and threw a glare Christian's way when I noticed his smirk.

Whatever. I had better things to do than heat hot chocolate and roast marshmallows, anyway.

"Please return your mug, Miss Hathaway!" I heard Mr. Ibanescue call out.

Grinding my teeth, I threw my mug at the door behind me.

I honestly didn't know what had gotten into me. The bad mood that I'd managed to banish for a few hours this morning had come back full force.

I decided that maybe punching something would help. I hurried to my dorm to change before heading to the gym. When I got there, I realized that I couldn't use the gym. Novices used the gym during the early part of the school day.

How could I have been so stupid?

I stormed off without even thinking about where I was going. It was then that I ran into someone. A very small someone.

I heard an annoyed "oof."

I looked to see who I'd knocked down, only to notice a shock of red curls.

My mother!

"What are you doing here?"

She glared. "Is that how you greet your mother?"

I pulled a confused face. "Oh, is that who you are? Sorry, I haven't seen you in so long, I thought I might have found a new one."

She stood up dusting herself off. "You should be in class, Rosemarie."

How did she manage to make me feel so small? I was so much taller than her!

"I'm too cool for school," I responded acerbically.

She harrumphed. She began to say something, but I interrupted.

"I asked you this already, but I'll do it again. Why are you here?"

"I came here for work," she told me.

"Oh, is someone here a science experiment?" I asked.

"I'm here to study the newly discovered element, spirit," she ground out.

"Oh, what about it?" I asked. "How it allows Lissa to compel Moroi? Or how about how she can heal things? Or… maybe about how she brought me back from the dead?"

She pursed her lips. "You… died?"

"That's right, Mom," I said bitterly. "I died. If Lissa hadn't brought me back, would you have even attended my funeral?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Rosemarie. I've been doing important work."

"Yeah, and forgot you had a daughter in the process," I muttered.

She began to say something, but was once again interrupted. For once, it wasn't me doing the interrupting.

"Rose!"

I would know that voice anywhere. Dimitri.

Oh no. No no no no. I did not want my mother and Dimitri to meet.

He got closer. "Why aren't you in class?"

I groaned. "I'd still like to know that as well, Rosemarie."

Dimitri turned towards my mother. "Ms. Hathaway," he greeted formally.

"Hello, Guardian, erm…"

"Belikov. I'm your daughter's guardian."

"You have a guardian?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm not surprised you don't know that."

"Rose," Dimitri chastised. "Did you get sent out of class?"

Ah, the moment of truth.

"Yep," I answered. Rather calmly, impressively enough.

"What did you do this time?"

"Moi?" I asked, a hurt expression on my face.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, you."

"Um, I may have used foul language when speaking to Mr. Ibanescue."

"But that's one of your favorite classes and teachers," Dimitri protested.

"Eh. We've all got our bad days."

His dark eyes assessed me, as if wondering what was wrong with me. "He didn't send you to see the Headmistress, did he?" Dimitri asked.

"Nope," I answered simply. "At the moment, I am just a free spirit, wandering around as I please."

Both Dimitri and my mother rolled their eyes.

It seemed my mother had had enough of my antics, because she began to walk away. She stopped for a moment, turned around, and said, "I'll see you around, Rosemarie."

When she was out of sight, I growled.

"What's gotten into you today?" Dimitri asked. "I know that elemental control is your favorite class, but you cursed at the teacher?"

I bit my lip, my anger evaporating a little. "Well, it was mostly at Jesse Zeklos. He was eavesdropping on the conversation Spar- Christian and I were having."

"What'd you say?" Dimitri groaned.

"I called him a dickhead. And then proceeded to tell Mr. Ibanescue that Jesse was being a dickhead."

He groaned again, but a tiny smile escaped his mask. "Oh, Roza," he sighed. "What am I going to do with you?"

I had a lot of things I was eager to suggest to him. Hug me. Kiss me. Make out with me. Make love with me…

"You could tell me why you never act normal anymore," I told him abruptly.

I could tell that he hadn't been expecting me to say that. Hell, I hadn't been expecting me to say that. I wanted to take the words back immediately. Things may have been a little awkward between us lately, but it could have been worse.

"This is how I should have been acting toward you from the start," Dimitri hissed.

He was angry. Why was he angry?

I looked up into his face. His dark eyes were looking intently at, well, anything but me.

How could I make him see that I didn't care what other people thought of me?

"Class should be over soon," Dimitri said abruptly. "You might want to head on over to your next class."

I glared at him. He was avoiding this discussion!

"We will talk about this, Dimitri Belikov," I threatened.

He ignored me. "Why don't I walk you to your next class?"

I pursed my lips, glaring up at him. Nevertheless, I followed him as he took me to Ancient Poetry.

"Please, Rose," he sighed. "Please don't get sent out of this class."

"I should be okay," I told him agitatedly. "Lissa's in here."

He nodded a little stiffly. He began to walk away.

I felt like something had shifted, once more, in our relationship; I couldn't place it, however. I felt the same towards him, and I assumed that he felt the same way about me. Things were different, though.

I watched him as he walked away, his duster fluttering behind his tall form.

"See you after school, Dimitri," I called out.

He turned towards me and waved, a reserved half-smile present on his face.

What had happened between us?

TRSTRSTRS

"You'll never guess who I ran into," I uttered to Lissa as soon as she walked into the classroom.

"Who?" she asked.

"My mother!"

She gasped, her green eyes widening. "What?"

"She's apparently here to observe you working with spirit," I told her.

She frowned. "Um, doesn't she do something with science?" she asked, confused.

"Yeah," I muttered. "Apparently, you're her next experiment. Expect her to come bother you sometime in the near future."

She nodded, astounded. "Is she gonna stay for Christmas?"

"No idea. If she does, I'm sure she won't stop by to see me."

"I'm sure she cares about you, Rose," Lissa assured me. "She's just busy."

"Busy every Christmas, birthday, Easter, and Thanksgiving for thirteen years?" I huffed. "I somehow doubt it."

Court was closed on holidays, or so we had learned in Moroi Culture I.

The bell rang, and the teacher immediately closed to classroom door. "Today, class, we'll discuss The Iliad by Homer."

That sounded dreadfully boring. I began to tune out her lesson immediately.

TRSTRSTRS

During Pre-Calc, I thought about how Dimitri had given me a lesson in using stakes that morning. Where was the heart?

"Don't burst a blood vessel, Rose," Mason joked.

"Huh?"

He grinned. "You look like you're thinking too hard."

"Oh. Uh, I was just trying to remember where the heart is," I told him, only a little embarrassed.

"The heart?" he asked. I nodded. "That's easy!" He pointed below his left pectoral, a little to the left of where I'd originally thought.

"There?" I asked. "But aren't your ribs there?"

He nodded again. "That's why it's so hard for guardians to stake Strigoi, you know. The ribs and sternum are in the way of the heart. Nature's own defense to the second most vital organ."

Somehow, Mason had managed to answer not just one, but both of Dimitri's questions from that morning.

"Wow, Mase," I teased. "Are you a nerd or something?"

He looked a little indignant. "I just have to pay attention. Can't kill a Strigoi very easily if I don't know that."

"You could always set him on fire," I joked, lighting a small fire in my palm.

He balked, and the teacher immediately came over to see what was going on. I let go of the flame quickly, trying to avoid anymore trouble for the day. Dimitri had been right about one thing, I didn't need anymore of that.

She eyed me suspiciously for a moment before going to help a student who had her hand raised.

Mason and I immediately began to laugh at our close call.

TRSTRSTRS

After school, I stormed into the gym. Dimitri was there, already reading one of his westerns.

I ran up to one of the dummies, hitting it exactly where Mason had shown me. "Here," I said. "The heart is right here."

He glanced up from his book, raising an eyebrow. "And what is protecting the heart?" he asked patiently.

"The ribs and sternum," I recited.

He smiled, finally. "I'm proud of you, Rose."

I raised both my eyebrows. "Um, for just asking a novice where the heart is?"

He chuckled. "You still took some initiative, and that's good."

He placed a bookmark on the page before carefully placing the book on the floor. He walked towards me, brandishing a stake.

"Here," he said, handing it to me. I held it for the second time, well aware of the death it was capable of dealing. Well, at least when someone fully capable was wielding it.

"Remember how to hold it?" Dimitri asked.

I nodded, placing my fingers where he'd shown me earlier. "Good, Rose. Now, let's practice on the dummies."

"Really?" I asked.

He nodded. He pulled out another stake, and I figured this was his own personal stake. It had something written in Cyrillic, which took me a moment to decipher. Они на первом месте. They come first.

"They come first?" I asked him.

"It's what novices are told when they begin their guardian training," Dimitri explained.

"Why?" I was shocked.

"Because once you're a guardian, you have to do everything you can to protect the Moroi. It's a life of service and honor."

I frowned.

"I can explain more to you after we practice your staking," he said.

"Um, okay."

He began to demonstrate the easiest ways to stake a Strigoi. "The easiest way is to slide it between the ribs and up."

He showed me what to do, and then gestured for me to try.

I tried to use one hand like he did, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't slide it in. I resorted to using both my hands, and finally succeeded.

"Impressive, Roza," he commented.

My heart did a flip-flop. "But I suck at it," I told him.

He shook his head. "Moroi are naturally slimmer. I know that it usually takes dhampirs a while to be able to wield a stake, too," he assured.

"You're not just saying that to make me feel better?" I asked.

"No. It's honestly impressive that you can do that. Most Moroi wouldn't even glance twice at a stake, let alone think of using it in self-defense."

He showed me a few more techniques which turned out to be even more taxing than the first technique.

At the end of the session, I was wiping sweat off my brow. "I really hope that you won't have to use that stake," he told me. "But I want you to carry it if we go off campus, just in case."

"Okay," I agreed. If it made Dimitri feel any better, I definitely would.

He took the stake back, and as I saw him putting his own away, I was reminded of my earlier question.

"Comrade?" I asked.

"Yes, Roza?" he answered.

"Can you continue what you were saying earlier?"

He gave me a questioning look.

"About your stake," I clarified.

He gracefully sat down against the wall, patting the space on the floor next to him.

"So why does it say, 'They come first'?"

He sighed. "I have a feeling you're not going to like this."

I gave him a look, slightly worried.

"You know guardians are expected to lay our life on the line if the life of a Moroi is at stake."

I bit my lip angrily. "Yes." I'd grown to despise that since I had met Dimitri. It wasn't fair.

"Well, they always tell you, 'they come first'. I suppose it's to condition you to give your life up without a second thought. I liked the inscription, because I'm the only guardian in my family. I wanted to remind myself that I should always protect Moroi life. Also, I liked that the instrument I'd be using to do it said so."

I gaped at him. "But it's not fair," I told him.

"For some people, being a guardian isn't the right choice. It's something every dhampir has to decide."

"Why can't Moroi learn to protect themselves?" I asked.

"Very few people even think to ask that," he said seriously. "Actually, I know someone else who is like that…"

"Who?"

"How about I introduce you to her?" he suggested. "She's actually here, at St. Vladimir's."

"What?"

"She's visiting her nephew."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" I jumped up, pulling on his hand. "Let's go!"

He laughed, "Okay, okay. Hold on just a second, let me make a call."

He pulled out a cell phone. "Hey," he said. "Yeah. I have somebody who wants to meet you. A student. She's interested in what you do. What? Where are you?"

The one-sided conversation was kind of boring, but I kept my ear out anyway.

I wasn't able to discern who was on the other end of the phone

"Okay," he said. "We'll see you in a few minutes."

It was the least formal I'd ever heard him with anyone. It was even less formal than he was with me. I felt a little jealous, but wondered who he considered such a close friend.

"Come on," he gently grabbed my hand for a moment. "It's time for you to meet her."