Dimitri led me towards the wood. "Why is your friend out here, Comrade?"

"She's… not exactly welcomed by the other holiday guests," he told me cautiously.

I narrowed my eyes. For that to be the case, she must be an ax murderer.

We ended up at a small pond. I felt Lissa through the bond. I felt her sappy warm feelings and knew that Christian must be there as well. I finally saw them. Lissa and Christian were ice skating. As was another figure, a woman with an enchanting mane of raven black hair.

It looked just like Christian's, actually. When we got closer, I noticed a scar on her face. Woah.

She must have heard our noisy clomping through the snow, because in mere seconds she had begun skating towards us.

"Dimka!" she called out.

Wow. She was familiar enough with him to call him by his nickname. I'd called him Dimka a few times, usually only teasingly, or when I'd tried to comfort him on Halloween, but I preferred to call him by his given name, or Comrade.

"What's a Dimka, anyway?" I asked him.

He chuckled. "It's just a Russian nickname."

"Oh. Like Lissa's would be Vasya," I murmured.

He nodded. "Tasha!" he called out to her when she'd gotten closer.

"How have you been?" she asked him cheerily.

I took their moment of conversation to size her up. She had a giant scar across her face, but it did nothing to lessen her beauty. Her eyes were the same icy blue as Christian's. Her face held a charming smile, dimpling her rosy cheeks.

She must be an Ozera, I realized. She wasn't an ax murderer. No, she was just a social pariah.

"Tasha, this is Rose Hathaway, my charge," he introduced.

"Hey, Rose," she said. "I'm Tasha Ozera," she stuck out her hand.

I liked her already. I took her offered hand, shaking it politely.

"You brought her to see me, Dimka?"

He nodded. "I thought she would be interested in what you do."

She raised a perfect eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Rose has me training her," he said proudly.

Her face broke into a smile. "My kind of woman. Have you taught her how to wield a stake?"

"Yes. She's quite proficient, even after just one afternoon of practice."

"What element do you specialize in, Rose?" she asked eagerly.

"Fire."

"Are you in class with Christian?"

"Yep. I've got tons of stories, if you'd like some."

Christian skated to a halt behind her. "I've got plenty of stories of her, too. Like the one from today."

"No, I don't think-"

"She threw a mug of hot chocolate at the door," he told everyone.

Dimitri groaned. "You left that part out of your story, Rose."

I shrugged. "Didn't seem all that important. Though, it was a waste of perfectly good hot chocolate."

Christian rolled his eyes. "You called Jesse Zeklos a dickhead."

"So?" I asked, my voice raising in pitch. Lissa skated over now, too. "He was being a dickhead. Anyway, you aren't all that innocent, either."

"I never claimed I was," he quipped caustically.

"Oh no, now you've got them going, Tasha," Lissa whined. "They go on for hours sometimes."

"We do not," we defended at the same time. I harrumphed, and glared at him. I noticed that Christian had taken the same exact stance.

Tasha giggled. "Oh, you two are just alike!"

I shook my head vehemently.

She got off the ice, onto the dock. "Why don't we go inside the cabin?" she asked.

They placed their boots on their feet, and we trekked a little further into the woods to a cabin.

Dimitri and Tasha began a comfortable conversation once we'd reached the cabin. Lissa and I warmed up by the fire, and I eavesdropped.

They swapped stories about people whom they both knew.

"No," Dimitri said. "He swore he never wanted any kids!"

"But now he has five!" Tasha giggled. "His wife blew up like a balloon, got even bigger after each kid. You should hear him, he talks in baby talk all the time!"

Dimitri gasped.

I'd never known that Dimitri was such a gossip.

"Of course, I bet no one would know if you spoke in baby talk," she smiled. "You'd probably be talking in Russian to your kids."

I blinked. Dimitri, with kids? I felt an irrational surge of jealousy. I didn't want anyone to have Dimitri's babies. Well, no one but me.

That thought shocked me. In fact, it sent a whole shockwave through my body. I didn't even like kids all that much. Dimitri and I weren't even in a relationship, and now I was fantasizing about having his children? What was wrong with me?

I bit my lip, tuning back into their conversation.

Dimitri and Tasha had an easy way of speaking to each other, one that took years of friendship to perfect.

Now, they were talking about her karate studio that she worked at in Minneapolis.

"You fight?" I asked.

She nodded eagerly. "Oh yes. I really enjoy feeling empowered. I feel a little safer, since I don't have a guardian."

"So did you start fighting before or after that happened to your face?" I asked abruptly.

Shock rang through the bond. "Rose!" Lissa exclaimed.

Tasha's face, however, showed a hint of respect, as did Dimitri's.

"After," she responded.

"You got it protecting Christian, right?"

She nodded.

I liked this woman.

"That's awesome!" I said. "Well, not the, you know, Strigoi part. But, I think it's awesome that you protect yourself, instead of constantly relying on dhampirs."

She grinned. "You wanna know another secret?"

Eagerly, I shook my head yes.

"I also practice offensive magic."

My eyebrows rose up on their own accord. "What?" I asked. "But I thought that wasn't allowed."

"It isn't. But it's very helpful against Strigoi," she confided.

I'd never given that serious thought before. Fighting Strigoi with magic? That could save so many guardian lives… that could save Dimitri's life, if he needed it!

"I want in on it," I said immediately.

She smiled. "Well, you'll have to join us next time. I'll tell Christian to tell you next time we meet up for it."

"Great!"

Soon, we all scattered our different ways.

"Wow," I told Dimitri. "She's awesome."

"I thought you'd like her," he smiled. "You both have very similar interests."

I nodded in agreement. "That karate studio she works at? It's in the human world?"

"Yes," he informed me.

"Wow."

I'd never thought much of working with humans. How cool would it be to do something I actually liked?

He dropped me off at my dorm, dinner long since over.

"See you in the morning, Rose."

"Bye, Comrade," I whispered.

TRSTRSTRS

The next morning, I woke up for our usual training session.

I cursed when I realized that I was once again running late. Dimitri was going to kill me!

I hurriedly dressed, throwing my hair into a messy ponytail.

When I got there, Dimitri was once again reading a western novel. It was Shalako, actually.

"Dobroye utro, Tovarishch," I said cheerily, hoping to distract him.

He rolled his eyes good naturedly. "Dobroye utro, Roza."

My name rolled off his tongue like honey, sending shivers up my spine.

"Do you happen to know what happened to my other copy of Shalako?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I avoided his gaze. "What's Shalako?" I feigned ignorance.

He smirked at me, a rare expression on his face. It was strange, really. Usually he was either very straight-forward, or just plain stoic. "I know you took it, Roza," he teased. "You can just admit that you like a western. I won't hold it against you."

"I don't like any books," I maintained. "Especially not ones written before the Berlin Wall came down."

Exasperatedly, he said, "Your worst subject is history, yet you know everything about eastern Europe."

"Well, how else am I going to get jokes about you?" I quipped. "Besides westerns, and your love of those unbearable eighties and country genres."

"We'll be practicing staking for the first half hour today," he finally said, getting down to business.

I nodded, holding my hand out for the stake I'd practiced with the day before.

Thirty minutes later, Dimitri told me we'd begin sparring after a quick water break.

I still wasn't very good at sparring, definitely nowhere near as skilled as Dimitri. However, I had noticed that I had improved a lot since we had begun to spar weeks ago.

We circled each other.

I allowed Dimitri to strike first, hoping that my best offense was defense. He aimed a punch at my face, which I somehow managed to block. I wasn't able to block the one that came immediately after, though. It had been thrown with his left hand instead of right, a quick upper-cut. It lacked the brute force I figured he'd use against a Strigoi, probably attempting to protect me, even as we fought.

Nevertheless, my head spun. Angrily, I sent a punch at his solar plexus, hoping to wind him. It didn't appear to affect him, so I moved onto the next step in Miss Congeniality's self-defense acronym. In-step.

I stepped on his foot.

Still nothing. If anything, he looked mildly amused.

I began to aim for his nose, but he swept my feet out from under me, much as he had on that first day we'd sparred.

Straddling me, he placed a hand on my chest. "Dead," he whispered.

He didn't move from his position on top of me, however.

Strands of loose hair were hanging around his face. He had a tiny bit of sweat on his brow, but it just made him look like he was glowing. His eyes were fiery, darker than normal. His body was pressing against mine, and I craved more contact.

I leaned my face up towards his, and finally, we kissed.

This time, there was no hallelujah chorus. There were no fireworks. There was a fire running through my veins, though. There was no voice present- Victor's voice- telling me to think only of him. It was just me and Dimitri.

I was kissing him, and he was kissing me back.

It was somehow sweet and lustful at the same time.

It got much more lust filled as the kiss went on, however. His tongue slid along my lips, asking permission. I opened my mouth, my tongue fighting his for dominance. He may have been stronger, but I had a feeling that he saw me as his equal, and I was going to prove it.

His calloused hand found its way to the side of my face, caressing my cheek lovingly. His other hand wrapped itself in my hair, twirling and tugging a single strand.

I trailed kisses down the side of his face and down his neck, causing him to moan.

"Roza," he sighed. He began to reciprocate, giving my neck extra attention. I didn't know how he'd figured out that sucking on my neck, in the juncture between my jaw and ear, was my favorite spot.

"Comrade," I moaned.

And just like that, he stopped.

"I can't, Rose," he muttered, turning away from me.

Was he rejecting me? Again?

"Why don't you want me?" I asked.

He ignored me, pointedly looking everywhere but me.

"Why don't you want to be with me?" I rephrased.

Tears were welling up in my eyes. More than anything, I just wanted Dimitri.

"You know why," he whispered. "It's not that I don't want to… it's that I can't."

"Don't tell me that you can't, Dimitri! You know perfectly well that you can! You're just scared of what people will think!"

"I'm not scared. It's just not right."

I pulled him down by his hair, at my face level. I kissed him again, this time just to evoke a reaction. "I know you feel something, Dimitri. And anything that feels so good can't be wrong."

He escaped my grasp. "No, Roza," he maintained. "I can't."

He began to walk away. "No more training until after winter break."

I winced, feeling completely rejected. Angrily, I hit the nearest punching bag.

TRSTRSTRS

The next few days were rather miserable. I was absolutely bored, having nothing to do after school. I ended up spending just as much time training, though usually I would only run and lift weights.

I also spent a fair amount of time with Tasha and Christian, learning offensive spells.

The day before Christmas was particularly difficult, because the spell required a lot of power.

"Why can't I just use a consuming spell?" Christian asked.

Tasha sighed. "Because that takes even more energy, and will take longer to recover from. It's easier to use fire as a distraction, instead. Give someone time to stake the Strigoi, while helping them."

Christian and I both nodded. I hadn't even given thought to using a consuming spell, but Tasha's logic made sense.

Lissa watched from the wall, a little envious. She wished she had someone to practice spirit with. The only person she had was Ms. Carmack, and she was just as clueless as Lissa. She also was jealous that we could actually use our magic, because hers was still being restricted by the pills.

Spirit was beautiful. It was music and light and life. It was Lissa's very essence. I had to remind myself of that whenever I started to sympathize with her. Whenever she used it, it took away her very essence, causing the madness. Lissa needed to be protected from that.

Personally, I was glad that she couldn't touch the magic. I had seen the havoc it wreaked on her emotions, the pain it had caused her. I didn't want her to go through that again. She didn't feel the same way, obviously. She thought it was worth it, and part of me didn't blame her. I'd been in her head a few times when she'd healed, and the magic she wielded was completely different feeling from my own element.

I focused once again on the spell Tasha was teaching us. It was taxing, much more tiring than regular magic was.

Perhaps that was the reason no one used it anymore, not because it was wrong.

What was so wrong about using what we'd been born with, anyway? The dhampirs used their own abilities to protect us. They honed and worked for it, yes, but they did. Why was it okay for them to fight, but not us?

"What are you thinking about, Rose?" Tasha asked.

I shook myself out of my reverie. "Just offensive magic in general," I told her. "I don't know why it's so wrong for Moroi to fight, and why dhampirs are practically forced to."

"Forced to?" she asked curiously.

"Just… you know. A lot of dhampirs choose the guardian lifestyle, but how many of just do because of the stigma of choosing to stay with their family?"

Tasha and Christian both blinked, and I felt Lissa's confusion through the bond. I could tell she'd never given it a lot of thought, past the few moments that Victor had inspired her back in that cabin. Even then, her thoughts had been centered on the Moroi, not the dhampirs.

Nobody ever seemed to think about the dhampirs, perhaps even they didn't.

The thing about having feelings for Dimitri, and little to no friends, was that I thought a lot about him, and even his species as a whole. I'd especially given it all some deep thought since I'd seen his stake. They come first. Maybe I should have felt better that they were trained to put us, our lives, above themselves. All I could think, though, was that it wasn't fair.

Especially not when we had our own ways of protecting ourselves. Magic.

Meeting Tasha had opened up a whole new way of thinking to me, one that would have definitely been discouraged had some other adult besides she or Dimitri heard me spout off about it.

I dispelled all thoughts of Dimitri, still hurt and angry over his rejection of me earlier in the week.

"Wow, you sure have given this a lot of thought," Tasha finally said, frowning a little. Her icy eyes were downcast, and I could see the wheels turning in her head. "You know, I could use someone like you working with me."

"Um, in the karate studio?" I was totally confused.

"No," she giggled a little. Even her giggle was adorable. "I've been working on a way to convince Queen Tatiana about offensive magic."

"Queen Tatiana?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I mean, especially with the recent Badica attack, I think it would be a good time to broach the subject."

"I can't do it now, though," I argued. "I don't know enough about it, and I'm not graduated."

She gave me a sly grin. "By the time you graduate, you'll be great at it."

I looked at her skeptically. "What will you do until then?"

She shrugged delicately. "Gather more offensive magic users, I suppose."

"Well, I'd be down for working with you," I smiled. "It sounds right up my alley."

She returned my smile. "Great! You have yourself a deal!"

TRSTRSTRS

Christmas morning finally came. Lissa called me, inviting me to come to brunch with her, Tasha, and Christian.

As I walked there, gifts in hand, I looked down at my outfit. I was wearing a sweater that Lissa had bought me last month at JC Penney and a pair of jeans from before we'd returned to the academy. I hoped it looked okay.

Tasha answered the door when I knocked, smiling immediately. "Merry Christmas, Rose! Here, let me put the gifts under the tree!"

"Merry Christmas," I murmured.

I surveyed the room, immediately noticed that not only were Lissa and Christian there, but Dimitri as well.

I tried not to stare at him, lest I give myself away. As I sat down next to Lissa, I felt Dimitri's eyes on me. I turned to look at him again, this time really taking the time to examine him.

He'd avoided me since that disastrous kiss in the gym. He wore a nice sweater that fit him beautifully, as well as a pair of dark wash jeans. I didn't think I saw him in jeans very often. More often than not, he was either in shorts or guardian pants. Christmas was probably a pretty big deal in Russia, too.

"Merry Christmas, Rose!" Lissa practically sang, her joy thrumming through the bond exuberantly.

Most Moroi absolutely loved Christmas, but I wasn't a big fan. I think it had something to do with no one ever visiting me during the holidays.

"Merry Christmas Liss, Christian."

Christian looked shocked that I had included him in my greeting.

"Hey Sparky, you got a Christmas miracle. Don't complain," I griped.

Lissa couldn't hold back her smile. I raised both my eyebrows at her.

"I'm so glad you're being nice to each other on Christmas!" she scooped us both up into a hug.

I nearly gagged. "Ugh, my Christmas miracle only goes so far, and that crossed a line," I told her.

She nodded, still incredibly happy.

I looked over at Dimitri again. By now, he and Tasha were conversing. They'd probably been talking before I'd arrived, too.

For a moment, I felt a brief flare of jealousy. He didn't have any qualms about talking to her, and she was Moroi, too.

Right as we sat down to eat, a knock sounded from the door. Lissa and I shot each other quizzical looks. "Isn't everyone here?" Christian asked.

Tasha didn't bother to answer him as she got up to answer whomever was interrupting our meal.

Surprises of surprises, it was my mother at the door.

"Janine!" Tasha said merrily. "You made it!"

My mom looked uncomfortable as she walked in, just giving Tasha a small grimace. She probably didn't leave the lab often enough to have any social skills at all. She definitely must have missed every Christmas for the last thirteen years, since I hadn't spent one Christmas with her since.

She had the nerve to sit down in the empty seat on my left, and I wondered if Tasha had planned this out.

Despite my mood souring further, the meal was good. After we ate, we exchanged gifts.

I opened a really nice package from Tasha, finding a red silk dress beneath the wrapping. It was one of the best gifts I'd ever been given. "Thanks, Tasha. You really shouldn't have," I told her, shocked to have been given such an expensive present when we'd met only a week and a half before.

"I just hope I got your size right," she exclaimed jovially.

I turned and watched as Dimitri opened the gift I'd ordered him online, using Lissa's credit card.

A look of surprise flitted across his face before he schooled his features once again. "Thank you, Rose," he quietly said. Tasha turned to look, too.

"Legends of the Fall?" she asked skeptically.

He smiled.

"I didn't know if you'd already seen it," I shrugged. "But it's got cowboys and Indians and a really depressing character arc."

He raised an eyebrow.

I blushed a little. "Um, sorry, but I watched it before I gave it to you. I was curious."

"Rose," Lissa scolded. "Don't say Indians. Native Americans! Also, you used his gift before you gave it to him?"

Dimitri just laughed in response, as if he hadn't expected anything less from me.

"Thank you, Rose," he repeated. "It means a lot to me."

"Well," I drawled. "It was either that or Brokeback Mountain."

I grinned. "So you're welcome."

My mom handed me a package, wrapped precisely in plain silver gift wrap. What I found was a weird eye thing.

"It's a nazar," she explained. "It's supposed to protect you… it's Turkish."

I'd heard that my father was Turkish. I wondered if he'd given it to her. "Thanks, mom," I said, hugging her a little awkwardly.

Her side of the hug was just as awkward as mine, and even more stiff.

She nodded, smiling a little, her lips closed.

She walked me back to my dorm. "You can come in if you want," I invited her hesitantly.

She looked shocked, but followed me in. She glanced around, taking in my room. She stared at the picture of Lissa and I on Halloween a few years before, before turning to the books piled on my desk. "Are these for class?" she inquired.

I shook my head. "I'm just interested in animals."

"That's interesting," she said. I think she was trying to be personable. Of course, she would have known all these things about me if she'd been around, or at least bothered to call or e-mail once in a while.

I shrugged.

"Thanks for the gift," I said again. "I really like it."

"I'm glad," she said. She was a woman of few words.

"I've heard that Guardian Belikov is one of the best guardians around," she commented. Was she attempting to make small talk?

"He's pretty cool," I tried to sound nonchalant.

"I was talking to Lady Ozera, Natasha, and she was telling me that she asked him to be her guardian."

My jaw dropped open. "But he's my guardian," I said a little childishly.

"Guardians get moved around all the time," she shrugged. "I don't understand why you were even given a guardian in the first place." Seeing my face, she actually backpedaled. "I'm glad you were given one, of course. It's just not general protocol. You would probably just be assigned a new one, anyhow."

"Why would she ask him to be her guardian?" I asked stupidly.

"They're friends. And she's willing to have children with him."

She made it sound as if that were a blessing for him.

"It's a great opportunity, and I don't see why he wouldn't take it…"

I tuned her out. I couldn't concentrate on anything she said when all I could think about was Dimitri. Dimitri and Tasha. Dimitri leaving me for Tasha. Dimitri and Tasha, sleeping together, having children together, living together.

Dimitri was supposed to be mine. My guardian. My boyfriend.

I realized that my mother was still talking.

"I'm kind of tired," I interrupted abruptly.

She frowned. "Alright. I'll leave."

She seemed to shut down immediately, and I felt a little bad about it. Maybe we'd have made progress today if I hadn't interrupted her like that.

"Thanks," I said. "Um, and thanks for the eye thing. And for talking with me," I tried to make amends.

She nodded again, immediately leaving.

"Merry Christmas," I called out to her half-heartedly.

As soon as she was out of sight, my thoughts immediately turned back towards Dimitri.

I was almost sure that he would take Tasha's offer. Why wouldn't he? She was beautiful, smart, spunky, and closer to his age than I was. She would certainly be ready to have kids sooner than I would. Not only that, but he probably wouldn't worry too much about her reputation, since she was already an outcast in society.

I didn't really have much to offer Dimitri, in retrospect. Who was I but some high school girl who had a crush on her guardian? He had to help me with homework, for cripes sake.

I pulled off my shoes, jeans, and bra before falling into bed. I tossed and turned the whole night, trying to rid my mind of the images of Dimitri and Tasha together.

I am so sorry that this was so late! I've been so busy! I moved to college on the 10th, and since then I've been constantly going to soccer practice. It may take longer now to get the chapters out, and I'm sorry about that.