A Moon Never Clasped

By: Danni Lynn

Chapter 8: Conflicts with the Heart

~+!Serena!+~

Ami went rigid, as Serena stared fixated at the ground, unable to speak of the infinite horrors she had gone through, and to add to it; she couldn't even remember an entire year out of the two years she had been left behind. Galaxia had taken away all of the memories of her existence, but truly, she had never left. She had always been there. To speak truthfully, there was evidence of her being, it was written in between the lines of the faded words.

Ami wrapped Serena in a tighter grip, feeling sorrow ache in her chest unable to cope with the profound feelings that tore into her like a knife.

"Leave." Serena spoke so softly, that Ami strained to hear the sweet voice of her long lost princess, yet, she still had not caught it. The blond began to tremble as something new began to well inside of her, something she had never felt before. Ami stared startled at Serena, as the moon senshi pushed Ami out of her grasp and made her way on wobbly legs. As she was regaining her balance, she slipped and was falling when Ami leaped to intervene, but Serena caught herself in time, and put her hand up in a way to signal Ami not to touch her.

Serena turned away as she leaned against the wall for support, wrapping her arms around herself; her body shaking with a force so astounding that Ami was surprised she did not shatter onto the floor like a delicate porcelain. "Sere? What's wrong?" Ami spoke soothingly as she moved to stand next to her princess, but was only left to stand alone, as the blonde took another step away from her, not turning to meet the aqua senshi's worried gaze.

Ami could see the blood that steadily poured from Serena's back, where...Ami gulped, the wings had been. "Let me help you." Ami started, trying to make another effort to comfort her princess but stopped short when the quietly sobbing blond took the side of her fist and smashed it against the wall, startling the sapphire-haired female. "No! Leave me alone!" Serena screeched as she lifted her fist and hammered it back into the wall, cracking the tile plating that ran three quarters up towards the ceiling.

Ami watched on, helplessly and filled with fear, not with what her princess was doing, but what her princess had become. She suddenly felt realization creep into her heart, doubting her allegiance with this goddess. Did she really know her beloved, Sere, anymore? Nodding her head, Ami fled the tiny bathroom, her heart racing and her mind screaming at her to get out of the room.

Serena heard Ami dash away from her, the door slamming shut behind her, leaving the crying blond alone. She didn't understand why she felt sudden hatred at her friend, but then, didn't it make sense? Serena had fought tooth and claw with every ounce of strength she had, being revived from the dead, more than once, so her master could only watch Serena become more and more tortured. Some days, Serena really wanted to give up, let Galaxia win and flee this unruly hell that bound her so, with the intricate intestines of her own flesh, blood and ever-lasting love.

And now, after all this time, she had gained some of what she lost, but, when Serena took out the medal and looked at its worth, she felt disdain. Not for the beauty of the works, but at herself. How she had steeped so low, as to not have enough power to free all of her friends, but only one. Just one. The light of her will was suppose to save the galaxy, the universe; all of those that were clutched in Chaos' grip. Yet, she was a slave: the light; to the master: the dark.

Rage burst from every molecule in her essence. This wasn't good enough! She was weak! She was worthless! She was...Serena felt her knees give and she landed with a hard thud onto the floor, leaning forward with her forehead resting against the wall, she gazed unseeing at the ground...she was helpless. She was angry at Ami because Ami didn't; couldn't understand all of what Serena had gone through.

Each day was a test of her survival, will, love for what she wanted to protect the most and now that she had Ami back with her, she felt as if she was being tempted with a juicy piece of candy. If she took the candy then it would be ripped away from her, but if she didn't then she would only crave for it more. Without her knowing, Galaxia was slowing breaking her, and Serena felt the binds of her sanity slowly snap. She had saved Ami from her impending doom, but couldn't do the same for herself. Such the punishments for being a savior. May Selene guide her.

Serena felt her insides slowly become frozen; numb to all emotions. Caring for Ami might kill her, she thought with misery. She was sick and tired of loving something, only to have it taken from her in the end. Her tears stopped and her rage disappeared, no longer could she feel the emotions of entrapment confine her. She would move on, but first, she had to distance herself away from what she loved, to protect what she cared for the most.

Not bothering to wipe away the drying tears, Serena stood and made her away to the kitchen, passing the shut door of her bedroom, where Mina slept and Ami, Serena was almost certain, was hiding. Away from her. At the thought, Serena's heart was hit with a pang of sorrow, but she dared not to let it affect her. To be strong, she would have to fix her weakness. "Its part of the process, Sere. If you want them to live, then you just have to do this." She whispered to herself as she opened her refrigerator and pulled out a bowl of lemons that she kept stockpiled.

Turning her way back towards the bathroom after grabbing some towels from the linen closet, and a bowl of lemons from the kitchen, she made her way back to the horror movie looking room. Frowning at the gruesome sight of it, knowing she could never truly get rid of all the blood that had been shed in it. There were months and months of blood that had sprayed and seeped into the cracks, staining it a ruby rust that was becoming a sickly orange-brown.

Sighing, Serena set the bowl and towels onto the counter of the sink and scanned the walls where the blood had hit. Grumbling she laid a towel on the floor to sponge up the puddle she was standing in and used another one to wipe the wall with, after cutting an lemon in half and spraying it on top of the blood and after it had been wiped away, finally, the irony stench was gone. After everything but the walls where the bathtub was, were clean. Serena took the dirtied towels and threw them into the hamper outside the bathroom door, before returning to the bathroom and cranking on the water, spraying the hose towards the wall so the blood would run into the bathtub, which was beginning to turn a dark shade of crimson.

Confident that most of the blood was gone, Serena sprayed the lemon juice against the bathtub walls and drained the water, while letting the faucet stay on. Moving to shut the door, Serena began to strip and made her way to the bathroom, where she ran her hand against the walls to flick any remaining blood into the tub, and fall down into the drain. After the smell of lemon and blood become a faint blur that mingled together under Serena's nose, she plugged the bathtub and let the tub fill up.

Mist filled the room and hot water ran up Serena's shins as she turned the faucet off and slid down onto her back into the bathtub. Letting the warm water relax her tired and sore muscles, still aching from the pain that Galaxia had dealt her earlier; her 'punishment'.

Closing her eyes, Serena let all her worries drift away and succumbed to the comforting darkness that had quickly become a welcomed friend to escape the reality of her life. She had died. She had lived. She had loved. Now, she had to protect. And great Selene, was it testing her beyond and past her limits, to an extreme that it was still amazing that she was still left breathing.

Serena felt the world slip away and everything faded from her, as she opened her eyes once more only to find herself in another horror struck reality:

The sky was a pale aqua blue with nothing but a few clouds as the azure water sparkled radiantly against the noon high sun. Waves broke and fell, crashing onto the sandy bay, as the wind blew swiftly and gently against the land. The sound of loving banter filled the beach, a family danced merrily amongst the shores of the ocean, laughing wildly and screaming.

The youngest out of the family of four, a male, ran out into the water, grinning as a petite blond dashed after him squirting water out of a fake gun at him. He squealed in joy as he wadded far into the waves and dived beneath the visibility line. The current turning him this way and that as the water broke around him, the tide slowly pulling him out to sea.

The blonde female shook her head in annoyance, as she grumbled beneath her breath and walked back to where her parents were sitting in the sand. Laying the water next to the cooler, the girl reached inside the portable container and pulled out a can of soda, where she popped it open and took a sip. She sighed contently as she sat down on the laid out blanket, beneath the shady cover of the beach umbrella.

"Serena, dear, can I have some of that?" The brunette mother, Ikuko, asked as she leaned forward in her chair and reached with an out stretched arm to her daughter's drink, whom reluctantly grunted and shoved it into her mother's waiting hand. Ikuko smiled sweetly as she gulped down the sticky liquid and brushed her hand over her sweating forehead. "What a hot day." She murmured before her husband, Ken, came and snatched the can of soda from her fingers.

"Thus, the reason we came to the beach, honey." He replied with a lopsided grin as he took a swig of the drink. Setting the soda onto the sand, Ken took off his shirt only to reveal a skinny stomach riddled with scars from the time he was in the military, where Ikuko caught sight of the fading lines and grimaced, recalling the days her husband worked the line of battle.

"Oh, cool, soda!" Shrieked the merry boy that jogged up from the water, dripping, leaving compacted footsteps from his wet feet in the sand. Ignoring his father's marred body, the boy knelt down and picked up the can and chucked the last of it. Letting out a burp as the only recognizable identity of what was once in the tin can.

"Sammy, you little twerp! That was mine!" Whined the older sibling that jumped from her sitting position and tackled her brother into the sand, who only laughed at her anger. "You weren't drinkin' it Serena, so I took what I wanted." Sammy answered much to the agitation of Serena's nerves. Sitting on her younger brother's stomach, she tugged on Sammy's mocha-colored hair, where he began to thrash and scream, as Serena only insisted on pulling harder.

"Serena Tsukino! Stop bullying your littler brother!" Ikuko commanded, where Serena frowned and lipped the words, "baby." in a jilting sneer before she got off her brother and sat back down in her spot.

Sammy sat up in the sand, rubbing his sore head. "Your so stupid Serena!" He yelled as he bounced to his feet and kicked dirt at the unsuspecting blonde and ran off towards the water. Serena, startled by the wave of sand, yelled and stormed after her brother, who she could faintly make his head bobbing out in the water.

"Your dead, Sammy! Do you hear me?!" She roared as she paddled out into the sea, making her way towards her brother's body. "Huh, Sammy? Did you hear me?" She screamed as she tried to keep afloat among the onslaught of waves, yet as she approached her brother, she began to grow wary at his lack of response. "Sammy?" Serena muttered as she came to stop behead her brother's unmoving body. Becoming concerned, she pushed her brother around, only to shriek and flail about in the water.

Sammy's vacant eyes stared at her, no longer their friendly azure lightening but a pitch black. Blood began to seep through from his hair, oozing slowly down his face where it was lapped up by the water and became a crimson cloud in the ocean. Serena, shocked, only watched as her brother grinned, bearing a mouth full of cracked teeth and a cut tongue. "I am dead, Serena. Remember? You killed me." He said in a placid monotone, all sense of humor erased from his voice.

"I didn't kill you, Sammy, I swear!" Serena stuttered, quickly becoming frantic, unsure of what she was suppose to do. Sammy only shook his head and gave a low guttural chuckle that sounded like two bricks grinding against one another. "My big brave sister, Serena. You killed me." He repeated as he suddenly shrieked in an inhumane way and lunged for Serena, who's mouth was agape in horror, as she felt her younger brother drag her beneath the waves with amazing strength. She instantly choked on the salty water as she was brought farther and farther down. As she attempted to scream and thrash, she lost nothing but energy and air. Making it hard to keep her self conscious.

When she began to see gray dots in her vision, she lost sense of awareness, and let the blackness take her away. Where she only felt a frigid coldness seep into her skin, and opened her eyes to see a bright beautiful day on the beach, but the person she saw standing before her, only made her cry out in sadness.

"Master." Serena said through clenched teeth, struggling to keep her bubbling anger at bay. Galaxia laughed at Serena's failed attempts to keep calm as she feebly tried to get up but only wound up collapsing onto the sand in each try. Galaxia tsk at Serena before she raised her sword and stared at the broken blonde, "May you rest in pieces!" She shouted as Serena clamped her eyes shut and felt flesh tear and blonde splash onto her face.

Serena, waited for the intense pain to come but as the seconds ticked by, the hot flash of her skin being minced never came to her nerves, so slowly Serena opened her eyes but just as soon as she did, she wish she hadn't. For there stood Sammy in his school clothes, as they were in the kitchen, just that the flesh Serena felt give way and the hot blood on her face, she realized wasn't hers, but Sammy's because when Serena looked down, she saw herself clutching the knife that was embedded in her own brother's stomach.

Blood quickly pooled at their feet, where Sammy only stared at Serena in shock before he slumped over and let his dead weight fall onto her, where she slipped in the thick blood and crashed to the ground. Releasing her hold, Serena screamed as she shoved her brother off her and ran to the kitchen sink to wipe the blood off her hands, but as she was going to turn the faucet on, she looked up at the window and saw her reflection, Except it wasn't her, but Galaxia, whom only stared at her with an amused grin. "Having fun, princess?" She heard Galaxia's voice in her head.

Screaming, Serena opened her eyes and jumped out of the water, where she tripped over the bathroom curtains and tangled herself inside them as she flailed about in fear, still shrieking like a mad women.

Almost as quickly as she had leaped out of the bathtub, the bathroom door swung wide open to reveal a anxiety stricken blonde, who watched Serena thrash, naked in the clear curtains that had been ripped off their hinges. "What the hell?!" Exclaimed a surprised Mina, that stared at Serena dumbfounded. Ami, who had fallen behind love senshi, peered over Mina's shoulder with concern, noticing the naked female curling into a ball while tangled in the shower curtains.

"Sere?" Ami softly whispered as she gently pushed Mina out the door to get closer to the vexed blonde. "Ami...Ami..." Serena whimpered as she looked up and crawled towards the sapphire-haired girl, whom immediately knelt down and threw the curtains off her princess. Mina came in, and stood behind Ami. "What's wrong with her, Ami?" Mina murmured as she nudged Ami in the back to get the smaller girl's attention. "I don't know. Help me put her in the bed." The aqua senshi commanded as both the sailors picked up either end of Serena's naked body and transported her into the bed that Ami and then Mina had at one point vacated.

After laying her down and pulling the covers over her, did Ami become aware of Serena's condition. Gasping, Ami covered her mouth with her hand and bit back a sob, as she tore her eyes away from her princess. Standing up, she took a few steps away from Serena and tried to keep her composure. Mina, who had been watching Ami, went over to Serena to find out the problem, but after flinging off the covers did she shriek in surprise. "My god!" The love senshi cursed as she felt a chill crawl up her spine.

Serena, who had been practically muttering obscenities till then, looked up at Mina and Ami's exasperated faces and consciously pulled the sheets around her body. "You weren't suppose to see that..." The blonde murmured as she turned her head and glanced sadly out at the window. Wishing she could shrink and disappear away from her horrified scouts.

Ami, noticing the reaction she had accidentally inflicted upon her fellow comrade, mentally slapped herself and scurried over to the distressed female. "Sere, what are those?" Ami gestured to Serena's body hidden underneath the blankets. The blonde didn't meet Ami's searching gaze and twirled her thumbs nervously. "I've...um...I've had these." She replied in a voice barely audible.

Mina came over and once again threw the blankets off Serena and wildly pointed at Serena's skin. "She's not asking where they came from! Who the hell tortured you?!" The senshi hollered as Ami and her both returned their stare to gawking at Serena's flesh. Where scars of stabs and burns littered her torso, her left breast over her heart having a nasty and semi-healed gash running right through the nipple to her rib cage, where it appeared that her heart had been ripped out of some sort. Not only that, but Serena's back held faded marks of what looked like jagged whipping lashes that had obviously torn deep into her flesh and two bloody stumps over her shoulder blades of where the wings had been.

Tears fell down Ami's eyes as she embraced Serena into a hug. "Oh God, Sere, what had happened to you?" She sobbed as she rocked back and forth. Mina crossed her arms awkwardly and gave Serena a questioning stare. "Even though your the almighty Cosmos, from wounds like those, how come your not dead yet?" Mina bluntly stated, as she listened in for Serena's reply.

The blonde tore herself away from the aqua senshi and gave Mina a sorrow-filled look. "Because Mina...I can't die."

Another story I decided to post of mine to you. Not too long, but I hope it was decent enough. This is all leading up to something mind you. So post a review and tell me what you think!

-Danni