Chapter Seventeen:
Luke collapsed into the chair Mara had just vacated, unable- or perhaps unwilling- to fully comprehend the red-head's predicament. Now that he finally had all of the parts to the puzzle of Mara Jade's problem, he was able to create a full picture.
Fact: Mara was afraid to love. She was afraid of any emotion she couldn't field-strip and put into place.
Fact: Mara was the most wonderful person he knew. She was strong and resilient… ninety-nine percent of the time. But who wanted a perfect person around? Where was the fun in that?
Fact: Mara was afraid to be loved. She held herself in high regards when it came to her skill-set. But when it came to her heart, you might as well have been asking her to give up dancing.
Fact: Mara was most definitely most in need of his love, but that wasn't why he loved her. He loved her sharp intelligence, her witty sense of humor; her irreverent take on his Jedi abilities and even her sarcastic look on his life as a whole.
Fact: Mara didn't think she was good enough for him.
Fact: Mara was a breath of fresh air for him in a world of admirers and critics.
Fact: Mara didn't think she was pretty. She must think he had a preference, or that he didn't think she was worth looking at.
Fact: Mara Jade was without a doubt the most breath-taking woman he'd ever laid eyes on. Her red-gold hair was like a soft river of molten lava, while her emerald eyes sparkled with their unique and ever-present light. Mara's body was lithe like a dancer's but powerful as a warrior's. And she had very nice curves…
Luke sighed, rubbing his eyes wearily. What could he do to get her out of this rut she had herself in?
Not in the mood to return to the party, Luke strode from the building all together, and simply wandered the streets. Luke lost all track of time, and paid little heed to where he was until a trio of drunkards staggered into him.
"Sorry there, Pal." One man slurred, his bloodshot eyes squinting up at Luke's face. "Can't see very good I'm 'fraid."
"That's okay." Luke murmured, standing aside to let them by.
He saw the cantina from which they seemed to have emerged, and trudged inside. He found a table in the back and settled down with a resigned sigh.
"Can I get you something handsome?"
Luke glanced up at a young woman wearing a skimpy uniform. He averted his eyes politely, and ordered a glass of gingerian ale. The waitress sauntered off, sashaying her hips seductively.
Luke merely shook his head, turning to studying the table with blank eyes. His ale came at some point, but Luke was too lost in his thoughts to care.
He loved Mara. He'd told her he loved her so much it was painful. Well, that had been a spur-of-the-moment confession, but he now saw that he had spoken from his heart. Not having Mara around was depressing.
She was a bright spot in his life.
No, he thought not a spot, a beacon. Mara is my guiding light.
Luke finally noticed his drink and began to nurse it, trying not to dwell on the hurt Mara had caused him by running out on him like that. He forced himself to think about her troubles, and to see if he couldn't help her in any way.
00000
Mara tore into her apartment and threw herself on the bed, sobbing uncontrollably. She had managed to arrest the flow of tears while she was among the general populace, but now that she was home, she let the floodgates burst open.
Luke loved her! How in the nine hells of Corellia had that happened? He couldn't love her! It wasn't right… not possible… she wouldn't let him!
Oh riiiight, Mara, and just how do you intend to fulfill that little promise? Her inner voice asked sarcastically.
Mara let out a feral scream, directed into her pillow to muffle the sound. When she was spent from her emotional dumping, Mara hauled herself into a sitting position and decided to take a long shower.
She numbly stripped from her dress and hung it up without really paying attention. She staggered to the shower and turned it on before settling in under the flow. She scrubbed her makeup off, and undid her hair, letting its wet strands fall down naturally.
As she ran her fingers through her tresses to loosen them, the thought flickered through her mind of its own accord as to whether Luke preferred her hair up or down.
Mara froze in her tracks, wondering where that thought had crept from. And following on its heels was if Luke cared whether she wore makeup or not.
Stars, Mara, what are you doing? She asked silently. You just told him off, and now you wonder how he sees you?
She fought the memory of his grief-stricken face when she'd run out on him just after he revealed his whole heart to her. She fought it with all her might, clenching her fists so tightly that her nails drew blood from her palms.
And it worked!
She relaxed enough to soap up and rinse off, allowing her mind to wander just a smidgen. She turned the water to a warmer setting and allowed the heated flow to ease taut muscles. She sighed contentedly, and that was when the memory slipped past her barriers.
She sucked in a breath, seeing clearly in her mind's eye his expressive blue eyes, and how his lip had quivered just barely. She dropped to her knees in the shower, that picture frozen in eternity in her mind.
And as she continued to study it, she felt her heart soften. Behind the hurt lay a profound and very real love. She saw it clear as day in the cerulean depths Luke saw the world from.
With shaking hands, Mara shut off the water, and hoisted herself up. Grabbing a towel, Mara wrapped it about her frame and then grabbed a second one to dry her hair. She wiped the steam from the mirror so she could look at her reflection.
Unaccustomed to looking at herself just to look, Mara gazed into foreign green eyes, framed by a mass of red-gold locks. Her almost oval face seemed fleshed out by what she considered voluptuous lips. How would Luke describe her face?
How would it feel to have his lips against hers?
Fool! You already know how that feels. Luke has kissed you… and you teased him by kissing back and then leaving him on the dance floor. Real smooth Jade.
Mara sighed and returned to her bedroom, flopping down onto her back. And as her head lolled to the side, Mara's gaze fell upon the dress hanging from her wardrobe.
How much did Luke have to do to prove his love for her? How many men would have taken her dream for a custom-made gown and make it come true?
Stars, Luke was the best man she had ever come across. He was always so kind, gentle; thoughtful… he took her sarcasm and biting personality in stride.
No, he doesn't just take it in stride, he runs with it like a team player. She realized, thinking back on all the missions and times they'd had together.
Mara sat up, clutching the towel, and realized her Toydarian fire-lilies were still sitting on her bed-side table. How in space had she missed that?
Fresh tears sprang to her eyes, and Mara let them fall without reservation. These tears were not ones of pain… these were tears of acceptance, of realization. Tears of a love she now knew Luke shared with her.
Because Mara Jade was desperately in love with Luke Skywalker too. She had just been too afraid to admit it aloud… especially to him.
Resolve hardened inside her, and Mara leapt from the bed to change into comfortable clothes. Minutes later she was back out the door, only to pause in the hallway.
Where should she start looking for him? Certainly the Jedi wouldn't have returned to the party to be hounded by his family. No, he would want time alone… time to nurse a slightly broken heart.
She decided to start at his apartment. Mara whipped out her comlink and thumbed it on, praying that if Luke were home he wouldn't ignore her call.
"Booeep?"
Mara frowned. "Artoo-Detoo?"
"Teep."
"Is Luke home?" she asked.
The droid chirped a negative, and Mara closed her eyes. "Any chance you'd know where he is?"
The droid almost sounded like a child with his hands on his hips as he suggested she look at the ball.
Mara rolled her eyes at the tin can Skywalker loved so much, and thanked him. Signing off, Mara blew out a breath.
There was something else she could try…
Stretching out carefully with the Force, Mara found his presence. Locking onto it, Mara followed the homing beacon to the man she loved.
00000
Luke was through half of his glass of ale when a group of five men strutted into the cantina, and from the looks of their outfits, they had just come from the Grand Coruscant Ball.
Luke shuffled down into his seat, making himself harder to see as they situated themselves near his booth.
"Well that was a drag, as usual." One of the men drawled in a thick Outer Rim accent.
"That's the last time I let Talon Karrde talk me into goin' to one of them functions. I don't buy Karrde's explanation as to why his pretty little doll didn't wear what I selected."
That got Luke's attention. He eyed the man who'd spoken, noting that he was built much heavier than the Jedi. He could probably have given Chewbacca a fair fight when it came to sheer muscle. His thick crop of black hair came down into full-out sideburns and he chewed on a cigar between his mustached and bearded mouth.
Luke listened with a keen interest to the conversation.
"Y'know Boss, I did catch a glimpse of her, sitting with Skywalker before she stormed out on Karrde." A third man piped up as the waitress eagerly took their order.
Cigar, as Luke dubbed him, cast a lustful glance at the waitress, who winked playfully in his direction. Luke made a face, unable to help feeling sorry for the girl despite the fact that she encouraged such behavior.
Finally Cigar turned back to his henchmen. "Yeah, I saw her too. What the hell was she wearin? Some green thing with flowers?" He snorted, waving a beefy hand that now held his cigar. "She should've worn the nice, revealing outfit I chose for her."
The men all chuckled and their leader continued, unaware of the simmering temper of a barely-in-control Jedi.
"But oh my: what a nice piece of eye-candy Jade is though, despite her mistake in choice of outfits." He grinned spitefully. "I would have loved 'negotiating' with the likes of her!"
Luke slammed his hand down on his table, unable to take anymore.
"Enough!" he bellowed.
The entire bar went silent as the five men turned around to look at the person who dared interrupt their conversation.
"I cannot believe the way you are talking about Mara Jade. How dare you talk about any woman in such a manner!" Luke grated out.
A pin drop could have been heard from a mile away inside the cantina. When the leader stood purposely, the patrons who were still sober enough to see what was coming scrambled to get clear.
The remainder of the five men stood also, but hung back as Cigar stalked forward with the air of a man used to getting his way. Luke rose from his own seat, and met him face to face, unafraid of his larger stature.
"Well what do we have here?" Cigar puffed around his smoke. "It be Master Skywalker himself, Lads!"
Luke clamped down on a vicious retort, willing himself to remain in control.
"Now to what do we owe the pleasure of serving the likes of New Republic royalty down here in this dump?" Cigar continued.
"Just getting a drink, like anyone else." Luke answered.
"Ah. But where is your lady friend? Hm?" Cigar blew a cloud of smoke at Luke, who barely flinched at the foul odor. "You have to know everyone at that cursed party saw you chase after her."
He leered, looking down his nose at the Jedi Master. "Could it be she turned down your orations of love?"
"Mara is her own person." Luke said, side-stepping the direct question. "She is free to do as she wishes."
"Well, since she turned you down, how about sending that lovely vixen my way?" Cigar wagged his eyebrows. "I'll take real good care of her in your place!"
"Do not talk about her in such a way." Luke warned. "Mara is a person, not a toy."
"Ah, but she's not your toy, eh?" Cigar smirked when Luke's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Or were you still hoping to get something of her?"
Luke almost hit him, but his control managed to hold for a few more seconds.
"Or…," Cigar tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Maybe she's too much fire for the Jedi to handle? Let me give you some pointers on how to control that sassy thi…"
He never finished his insult, because Luke delivered a fist right into his nose, hearing the satisfying crunch of bone.
"I said not to talk about her that way!" Luke yelled.
Cigar bellowed, and swung back at Luke, who deftly dodged the massive fist. Luke came back in with a box to the man's ears, which served to stun him for only two seconds. Cigar leapt at Luke, but again the Jedi slipped just out of reach, and the burly mass of the guy slammed into his own table.
"Boss!"
Two of his men helped him to his feet, and Cigar shrugged them off angrily, wiping at his face.
"Get him!" Cigar spat, gesturing at Luke.
"But what if he uses that Force of his?" asked a scrawny man.
"I have yet to use it." Luke informed him tightly. "Will you leave Mara alone?"
"Forget the wench!" Cigar sneered. "She's probably just more trouble than it's worth."
"Then you don't understand her." Luke informed him.
As they talked, Luke was well aware of the three men moving to surround him. He shifted his weight to the balls of his feet, awaiting their strike.
Cigar saw this and lifted an eyebrow.
"On second thought, maybe we will take her and use her to our pleasure then dump her back on your doorstep. How's that sound?"
Luke bellowed in outrage and charged Cigar, and that was when the heftier man landed a solid punch. Luke saw stars, feeling his lip splitting as blood spurted. He went reeling, and smashed front-first into a table, feeling splinters dig into his chest.
Luke screamed, but had no time to clear his head before he was seized by the three men who'd been circling him. They hauled him upright: two held him by the arms while one steadied his head so their boss could score another hit.
Luke used their hold to leap up and wrap his legs around Cigar's neck, twisting so the man staggered into a metal post in the aisle. He connected face-first, and Luke had the gratification of seeing him re-bound to land flat on his back.
"Boss!" Scrawny cried, rushing to Cigar's side. "Are you awake, Boss?"
"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Cigar roared, grabbing Scrawny and flinging him into Luke, who staggered from the impact despite the fact that he was held in place.
He faced the other man without fear; only thanked the Force that Mara hadn't had to deal with this gang after all.