Let's continue, shall we?
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He woke up there the next morning, surrounded by empty beer bottles and with a killer hangover.
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Booth quickly closed his eyes again. He felt a shooting pain in his head and his stomach, when a nauseous wave hit him. It wasn't nearly enough though to dull the pain he felt in his heart. Now that he was sobering up, the gravity of the situation hit him once again.
Bones was hurt, because of me.
Bones was raped.
Because of me.
He let out a shaky breath. He slowly rised of off the couch. But even the slow movements were too much to handle. It felt like his head was splitting in two. But that didn't stop the flow of painful memories.
"Please, stop… Please … stop … touching me … Please… get out of me..."
"Booth … is it really you?"
"No, Booth. I don't want them to get the keys. I … trust you."
The only memory that put a faint and exhausted smile on his lips, but that smile didn't quite reach his eyes or his heart. The next one broke his heart.
Seeley Booth, Bones is mine.
He kept seeing those words everywhere he looked.
Although these were all extremely painful memories, the last one hurt him the most.
"No, he can't come back."
He closed his eyes again to push his tears back. Seeley Booth hardly ever cried, but this had shook him to his core.
She told me she doesn't want me to come. She blames me for what happened to her. And she should because I let it happen. If I would've taken her home, she would've been okay. I would have kept her save.
He stumbled to the kitchen where he quickly took two painkillers. He washed them down with a glass of water. Knowing Cullen wouldn't want him anywhere near this investigation, he turned around and went to his bedroom.
It's not like I've got something better to do or anywhere else I have to be. Bones doesn't want me anywhere near her.
He crawled into his bed.
I hope Angela can convince Bones to let me see her.
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She's obviously dreaming about the rape. I want to wake her up, but I can't. Bren will have to deal with all of this sooner or later. And if she doesn't want to talk about it, this is the next best thing.
Bren was tossing and turning. She was dreaming about the rape. She relived everything that happened to her, everything was exactly the same. Except for one thing. The voice she heard, saying her name, wasn't the voice of the bastard who raped her.
It was a familiar voice.
Booth's voice.
Angela looked at Brennan, when she heard her best friends mumbling.
"No ... please ... don't. Booth ... don't!"
She woke up with a start. It took her a few minutes, but thanks to Angela, she slowly started realising where she was and why she was there.
"Sweetie, you're in the hospital. Do you remember why you're here?"
She nodded.
"Bren, it was just a dream, you're okay. Just rest."
She quickly fell asleep again. It didn't take long before the nightmare returned. Once again, Angela decided it was best to just let her sleep through it. When Bren woke up a again, Angela offered her reassurance and safety.
This painful and disturbing routine occupied the rest of their night. Angela became more and more concerned every time this occurred.
Why does she keep saying Booth's name?
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Brennan was finally sleeping a blissful, dreamless sleep. She deserved it after last night. She'd woken up around noon. She barely ate and didn't smile nor spoke. Angela was getting extremely worried about Brennan. Another problem was unraveling. The doctor had told her, that she couldn't go home alone. He feared she would stop eating all together and that she wouldn't take proper care of herself. Angela agreed. She left the doctor's office and returned to Brennans room.
"Bren, sweetie? Do you mind if I go home for a little while? I'll be back tonight. I'm just really tired and I want to change my clothes."
Brennan didn't answer her.
"I promise that I'll be back."
I am not leaving you alone after last night.
She gently squeezed Bren's hand and left the hospital room.
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She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
God, I hope Booth's awake.
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This better be good.
Booth didn't want any company. He wanted to be left alone. He felt useless. He walked over to the door. The minute he saw Angela through the peep hole, he changed his mind. He opened the door, grabbed Angela's right arm and pulled her inside.
God, she looks like crap.
Angela had dark circles under her eyes, her hair was a mess and she was still wearing the same clothes she was wearing last night.
She must've spent the night there. With Bren. I should have been there.
"Booth." She sighed in frustration.
"Hi Ange, what's wrong?"
"I need to talk to you. About Bren. "
"Angela, is she okay? Is something wrong? Did something happen?"
Angela put up her hands in an attempt to shut Booth up.
Why isn't she answering my questions? It must be really bad if she can't even tell me.
He grabbed her wrists, looked into her eyes and softly whispered: "Angela, please, tell me."
"She's okay, Booth. At least as good as can be expected. I actually spoke to the doctor today. He expects her to make a full recovery."
Those were the best words he'd heard in the last 48 hours. He finally felt his heartrate calm down. Until he heard Angela's voice again.
"Physically anyway."
Physically anyway? What is that supposed to mean? Why would she only heal physically?
"Ange… What do you mean?"
Angela sighed and looked up at Booth. He saw the worry and frustration in her eyes.
"She can't go home alone. The doctor will only release her if she moves in with someone. He's afraid that she won't take care of herself."
She walked over to the couch and sat down, burying her head in her hands. Leaving Booth in the hallway. After a few moments he had finally gained control over his legs again. He walked to the couch and sat down next to Angela, pulling her into a much needed embrace.
"She could move in with you, Angela. You could keep an eye on her."
She slowly shook her head, while looking at Booth.
"I don't want her to move in with me, Booth. And I don't want her to move in with Zach or Cam or Jack either. I want her to move in with you, Booth.
You and me both, Ange. But she's scared of me and she blames me. I doubt it if she's even willing to move in with me. Even if it is for just a little while.
"But we both know she would never accept that." Angela's head was once again buried in her hands.
Booth nodded. They neither spoke for a little while. Booth sensed Angela wanted to ask him something, he decided to wait. She finally looked up at him again.
"Booth, would you be okay with it, if she moved in with you?"
Hell YES!!! I'm dying to see her, to take care of her, to help her… But she's afraid of me. I can't see how her moving in with me is going to work if she's afraid of me.
"I don't know, Angela. Why do you want her to move in with me anyway?"
"She's been having nightmares Booth. She always wakes up, screaming your name. And in the first moments after she's woken up, she looks so scared and confused. Once she remembers everything that has happened, she simply shuts down. It's obvious that she needs you, Booth. Only you."
He was touched by her words.
"I guess I would be okay with it, if she moved in with me. But it's like you said Angela. She'd never willingly move in with me."
Angela sat up and shifted to face Booth.
"Luckily, I came up with a plan while I was driving over here. The only thing she wants is to get out of the hospital. The doctor said he would prepare her for the news she would have to move in with one of us. She wouldn't move in with you Booth, unless…"
All of a sudden, she wasn't so sure anymore of her plan. She would need help from Cam, Zach and Hodgins and Booth. They would support her, but she also needed the support from Dr. Goodman and Cullen.
"Unless what Ange?"
"Unless she didn't have a choice. If we, I mean me Jack, Zach and Cam would be away for a while, then she wouldn't have a choice. She would have to move in with you. But then we need to convince Dr. Goodman to let us go away, you know on a vacation. And we'd need Cullen to give you time off."
Booth listened to her in awe.
Her plan is brilliant. A bit sneaky, but brilliant. That way she would have to let me take care of her. Even if she's afraid of me, she'd still rather go home with me than stay in the hospital.
"Don't worry, Ange. I'm sure we can convince Dr. Goodman. And I'll be able to convince Cullen. I don't care what it takes. Your plan is brilliant, Angela. Whe have to try it."
"Booth, we're not talking about a few days. This might take a long time."
"I know." Booth took her hands in his. "But we need to get her better. She needs our help."
"Yes, Booth, she desperately does."