Welcome to the next chapter of Underwater. I hope you liked the last chapter because this one is going to be even better. Naruto wakes up and...Whoa. I can't spoil it, now can I? Ha-ha-ha. Read to find out more!
A thanks goes out to: all those who reviewed!! A special thanks goes out to Rikku Madara Uchiha for her encouragement and support.
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I would be rich because that would mean I could actually draw. And since I still can't draw, that means I don't own Naruto. Oh, and the song is 'Away from the Sun' by 3 Doors Down
Warnings: one icky bad word in the whole chapter
Chapter Two: The Darkest Places
'It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone tell what I've done?'
The ceiling was blurry above him, like a levitating blanket of pure white color. He tried to focus, but his head was pounding. Some weakness...Something wasn't right. Something was preventing him from sitting up. What was it? The black bands strapping him down were nearly indistinguishable against his navy bloodstained shirt. Did they think he was going to run away?
'As if.' Sasuke thought contemptuously. 'They should have strapped Naruto down. Wait...Naruto!"
Though he was using all the strength he had, he wasn't even able to sit halfway up; the bands refused to give. That little effort wiped him out completely. Feeling weak and dizzy, he shut his eyes in an attempt to stop the white world around him from spinning around and around. The last thing he wanted to do was throw up because doing so would mean regurgitating onigiri all over himself. That thought was enough to send shivers up his spine.
'My chakra...I must have used the last of it when I teleported Naruto and myself to Kakashi's place.'
He lay still for a while, allowing the silence to comfort him like a cool breeze on a hot summer day. What would happen next? Would Naruto be hospitalized if he were thought to be suicidal? Would they question him? That last one was a definite. And if they couldn't get any answers from him, they would turn to Sasuke.
He wasn't sure what was safe to say. A part of him didn't want Naruto to be hospitalized. The psychiatric unit was probably filled with patients traumatized by powerful genjutsu. That environment would do nothing to help at all.
He continued thinking until a powerful headache forced him to stop. It felt like someone was beating him over the head with a mallet and enjoying every second of it. A groan escaped past his lips. Footsteps echoed in the small white room. A shadow bent low over him and obviously adjusted something because moments later Sasuke was flying high without a care in the world.
Naruto lay still, pretending to be asleep even though daggers of pain sliced through his skull as easily as though it were a moldy orange. He swore that tiny brain particles were sliding out of his ears onto the pillow beneath him. Or maybe it was just blood.
He endured the steady throb of pain ebbing up and down his right elbow. It hurt like a motherfucker even though the medication he was obviously took the edge off.
Unbeknownst to him, Kakashi was sitting in one of those hard plastic chairs that one typically finds at the hospital with discomfort written across in face. He read Ichi Ichi Paradise, but it was obviously from the way that his one eye flicked back and forth from the text to the prone form laying on the bed that he wasn't really digesting any of the material.
A myriad of thoughts swirled through his head, most of recent ones coming back to haunt him with a vengeance. Why? Why would Naruto be suicidal? Did he really intend to drown himself, or was it merely a fluke that he'd fallen into the river? Kakashi could not make up his mind. None of this made any sense at all. He seemed perfectly happy all of the time.
But as he considered it, he came to realize that there were days where his smile seemed distant and cold. That there were days where his blue eyes didn't light up at the mastery of a simple jutsu. And the more the thought about it, the more it made sense. If Naruto was suicidal like Sasuke said, then...he must have attempted to take his own life. He had to get answers now. Waiting wasn't good enough. Not if his pupil was a danger to himself.
"Naruto." he said sternly.
His sharp voice made the genin flinch in fear. He wasn't ready to face questioning. The fact was, he couldn't really remember what he'd done in the first place to get him into the hospital. As he faked waking up, his fear increased a tenfold.
"Oh...hey sensei. What're you doing here?"
Kakashi sighed. 'I guess we're doing this the hard way.'
"Naruto. Let's set all of your questions aside and let me do the talking. How did you end up soaking wet? Did you go for a walk in the rain?"
The jonin started carefully by asking small questions, just to test Naruto's ability to tell the truth.
"Umm. Yeah. You could say that." Naruto rolled over to face his sensei, cerulean eyes filled with a grim uncertainty.
'He knows what I did.' he thought. 'I don't want to face this.'
'I miss the life
I miss the colors of this world
Can anyone tell where I am?'
Kakashi seemed to have read his mind because he spoke again. "You have to face the consequences of your actions, Naruto. It's just a simple matter of when. I want you to tell me why you tried to commit suicide! I want to know why Sasuke had to drag your ass out of the river!!"
His voice came out a little...okay, much, much harsher than he meant it to. Naruto flinched, but then gazed at him, undeterred by the fierceness in his teacher's eyes.
"YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND, SO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP. WHY SHOULD YOU CARE ANYWAY?! LEAVE ME ALONE. JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!" Naruto shouted as he turned away to face the wall.
"Why would anyone care anyways? I'm just a demon." he whispered sadly into the pillow. Hot tears began to build behind his eyes but he refused to let them escape.
"Naruto..." Kakashi's small choked voice came out.
He was in shock. Never before had he heard Naruto shout with such anger. Even with Sasuke, his yells were merely playful and teasing. Childish yells. And yet, this? This was new to him. This sudden change in temperament...this new side of Naruto was entirely foreign to him.
Without thinking he got up and left, shutting the door behind a silently sobbing genin.
Earlier...
"Excuse me. We're bringing around the later day meals. Do you feel up to eating?"
Sasuke nodded politely and the nurse pulled the tray up from the hospital bed before setting a round tan covered plate before him. She left the room and was about to leave when he spoke up.
"Could you please close the door?"
"Oh...Of course."
The door was swinging shut when a loud shout raced through the hallways.
"YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND, SO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP! WHY WOULD YOU CARE ANYWAY?! LEAVE ME ALONE. JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!"
'That sounds like Naruto's voice. What's going on?'
Shadows of panic crossed Sasuke's pale face. Next to the sheets he looked like a ghost. Although he was still weak, he tried to sit up. The restraints had long since be removed after Kakashi had pointed out that he had a level head and that if he knew what was good for him, he should stay there.
The hospital didn't suit Sasuke. The place reeked of death and medicine. He wrinkled his nose at the scent but turned his attention back to Naruto quickly. He was pretty sure that he could determine his location. If only the genin had picked a better time to yell.
Sasuke stood slowly, easing his feet onto the floor inch by inch while using the bed railing for support. He took a shaky step forward, and then another. He was standing on his own when his knees almost collapsed on him.
Naruto's voice sounded like it had come over a great distance. In the state that he was in, he knew he couldn't get to the genin. Disappointment lowered his mood until it felt like he'd hit rock bottom. He was almost in tears by the time he reached the bed again, something most uncharacteristic of him at all.
'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down away from the sun
That shines into the darkest places
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
Away from the sun again'
"Damn..." he spat between clenched teeth. "For once he needs someone to be with him, and I can't be there. Naruto..."
Did he like Naruto? He didn't think so, but a part of his heart disagreed. Naruto was like his brother, but there were things between them that neither could describe as brotherly. For example...The time he and Naruto accidentally kissed in the classroom one day back at the academy. Something had been there. Some strange feeling in the pit of his stomach that he'd long since denied as being wrong. Too wrong to consider that it might actually be right.
It just...It was just too confusing to figure out all at one. Naruto's sudden confession in the suicide note had left his thoughts in a muddle. He could not make heads or tails of the situation at all.
Releasing a sigh, he pulled himself back into bed and set about meditating. Meditation was good for chakra restoration and control. If he could gather up enough chakra by nightfall, he might be able to make the journey to Naruto's hospital room.
'Hold on, Naruto. Just give me some time.'
Kakashi had left without a word and Naruto was feeling guilty. It was his fault. Everything that could go wrong went wrong and it was always his fault; it always had been his fault. Sakura and Sasuke had both made that obvious as many times as they could. The villagers never forgot to give him their punishments.
He was an abomination. Anathema despised by all of Konoha. He should leave. If he'd known it was good for him, he would have left a long time ago. But he was an idiot. A stupid idiot boy with no idea of the pain he'd caused everyone with his suicide attempt.
Iruka had come to visit, had tried to pry words from Naruto's mouth, but he'd held his tongue firmly. And now, all he had to show for it was a tearstained pillow and bloodshot eyes.
"Why..." he whispered to himself only. "Why did I have to go and do it? Was life really so bad that I had to go and try to end it? You're so...stupid, Naruto...So stupid."
He bit his lip to prevent a loud sob from escaping. Tears ran down his cheeks anew. It had been going on like this for the past hour since Kakashi had left. He would feel depressed, cry, question himself to the brink of insanity, calm down, and then the vicious cycle would start all over again.
'I'm over this.
I'm tired of the dark
Can anyone see me down here?'
This had wiped out all remaining traces of energy from the blonde. He lay limp, still and silent on the plain hospital bed.
A large white plaster cast encompassed his entire right arm from hand to elbow. There was also a rather thick bandage around his forehead where it'd bashed into the rock. His nose was stuffy from crying and he found it difficult to swallow with a large lump in his throat. With a sigh, a lone tear trickled down his face.
'The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to life me up
Back into the world I know.'
"I could...escape." he told himself. "I could run away and try to hide. But they'd probably find me. Yeah...Sorry, everyone, but...that seems like it's the only way to make everybody in this world happy."
And with that final thought in his head, Naruto began to plot his escape from the hospital.
Sakura was back home with her mother, sobbing loudly as her mother poured her a cup of tea. The steaming mug sat before her, abandoned and lonely, as the woman gently coaxed her daughter to talk.
"Who was it dear. Is it Sasuke alright?"
Sakura nodded before gulping a bit of tea.
"Then...what about your teacher? Was he ill?"
'No, Okaa-san. It was...it was Naruto."
The pink-haired kunoichi felt her mother's eyes harden as the name tumbled from her lips.
"Did that..." she stopped herself before she could say "demon."
She was a mother of a twelve-year-old girl and as such, she had to protect her daughter from things like that. Instead of saying demon, she was forced to pretend she actually liked the boy.
"Did Naruto...get hurt somehow?"
A choking sob escaped her mouth as she flung herself into her mother's side. Warm arms wrapped around her in a gesture meant to sooth.
"Naruto...Kakashi-sensei said that Naruto tried to drown himself. B-b-but...Why would he do something like that? He knows we love him so much. He's a part of our team, and without him, we wouldn't be a team."
"Oh Sakura, honey. I'm so sorry." she said sympathetically.
"It's n-not your fault, Okaa-san."
'She really seems to like this...Naruto. Perhaps...he isn't so bad after all. She's gotten stronger because of him.'
She felt a tiny niche in her cold frozen heart melt. A warmth replaced the solid part, a warmth only possible with affection. Naruto had defrosted another heart with his ability.
'And now again I've found myself
So far down away, from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun'
Sasuke let out a sigh and lay back against the pillows. Most, if not all of his chakra had been restored. He had learned a valuable lesson from this. Leave teleporting to the jonin. It was their method of instant transportation and he was willing to settle for running the entire way.
Draining one's chakra to absolute zero was a very dangerous task indeed. Sasuke was glad that he was still alive. He had risked his life to save Naruto from the rushing tides of the river and nothing would have prevented him from doing so otherwise.
Naruto was...Naruto was important to him. One of his most precious people. Like Haku had said, one must protect their most precious people if they wish to get anywhere in life. Sasuke had taken that knowledge to heart.
'It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't tell what I've done.'
Still...the thoughts of Naruto's suicide attempt ran rampant in his mind. And yet, nothing made any sense to him. Even after all this time his emotions were playing freeze-tag with him. Love? Uncertainty? Trust? Depression? Hurt? Love? Love? Could he really like Naruto?
He was unsure of his sexual orientation. Feeling something other than friendship towards a male did not automatically determine such things. But he thought that Naruto was well...his eyes stood out like sapphires against the night sky. And his hair circled his head like a golden halo. The younger one's boisterous laughter floated into the sky as easily as a balloon did on windy day. He did have to admit that Naruto had very attractive qualities. So why then did Sakura turn him away so easily?
Did she know that with every dismissal the shard of memory dug further and further into Naruto's fragile heart? Did she even have a clue of what Naruto had done? Kakashi ordered the girl to go home right after he'd passed out; Kakashi had told him that before going to visit Naruto.
He wondered how his teacher was taking this. Although he rarely showed emotions outwardly, his one visible eye could convey a million words with a simple stare. And there had been desolation in his gaze. Hurt...Pain...Confusion...They were there as well. What could be done to save Naruto from this mess? What would Naruto do to try and escape from the consequences?
The lights had been shut off about an hour ago and the full moon shone brilliantly through the clear night sky. Stars winked at him from above, almost as if they wanted to give him strength for what was to come.
'And now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
To find me way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again'
Sasuke slid his feet slowly onto the ground, hissing as they made contact with the icy tiled floor. He wrapped the blue cotton bathrobe around himself and set out into the hallway. The steady "beep-beep" of a thousand heartbeat monitors greeted him at the entrance to his room.
He inhaled deeply, hoping to keep his wits about him on his quest to find the blonde-haired genin. The hallway was as dark as it was outside. Few lamps were lit in the area, and most of the primary care doctors had gone home for the night. Only the specialty and emergency physicians remained overnight in case there was a patient who needed urgent care.
Closing his eyes, he sensed for Naruto chakra signature amongst a sea of blue. 'Look for the one with red chakra as well. Look for the signature with red and blue chakra.' It was safe to say that he knew about the demon, but Naruto was unaware of this. He'd blamed himself for screwing up training sessions so many times even though the nine-tailed-fox's chakra was responsible. By firing off at random intervals, it was extremely difficult to maintain steady chakra control.
Sasuke found it. Now there was only the question of how to get to his location. The genin came to a fork in the hallway and made a right. If he was correct, and he was pretty sure he was considering the number of times he had been in the hospital, then the building was build like large squares stacked on top of each other. It was actually a rather simple layout. He made another right and ventured further down the dark hallway towards Naruto's chakra signature.
Naruto grimaced as he stood; the weight of the cast caused his arm to swing whenever he moved and fire bolts of pain raced through the broken appendage. But still...it was good pain. It was good pain because he deserved it. Just like he deserved the never-ending torment of being alone. Everything bad was his fault so he had to suffer for his mistakes. He could never forget that.
Naruto took a step forward, letting the cast swing again. He swayed dizzily and would have fallen when an all too familiar voice called out his name.
"Naruto."
He didn't want to turn. Could not make himself turn to face Sasuke. His one free hand clenched into a tight fist.
"Damn it..." he said brokenly. "What do you want, Sasuke?" his voice was hard.
Both genin were silent for minutes before the other one spoke.
"To help you, Naruto. I want to help you."
"You didn't help me, Sasuke. I wanted to die. I wanted this pain to end but now I'm stuck here." he whispered. "Its your fault I have to suffer more."
"I think you're wrong. Naruto...You're the one suffering, but it isn't your fault."
Naruto managed to walk to the window where he finally turned and sank down to his knees, still gazing downward so no one could see his eyes. Sasuke could see his form trembling from where he stood and went over to the genin. He was suddenly reminded of the letter...the confession...and there were butterflies in his stomach. Swallowing nervously, he bent down beside the distraught boy and took his hand in his.
"I...If you had died...I never would have been able to say this but...I...I like you too, Naruto."
Startled, Naruto's head whipped up and Sasuke could see for the first time how bloodshot his eyes were. 'He must have been crying since he woke up.' His heartbeat accelerated by about a million miles an hour as he drew Naruto into a careful hug and kissed him awkwardly on the cheek.
'Oh no...
Yeah...
I'm gone...'
Wooo!! Fluff!! How many people are happy about that? I know I am. This is probably going to be a four-shot. After the third chapter I'll probably do a time skip and just move on to later in their relationship. I'm not one hundred percent sure yet. So enjoy this chapter. I think it will be a while before we can update again.