DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee, sadly. Trigger warning for this chapter: bulimia.

A couple of crazy weeks of Marley fighting with her head had gone by, making the month December, the days short and the hours cold. She had been to Coach Sue's office twice, the subject being her lack of information about the Glee Club. Her friends had slushied a few of the nerds a few more times; however the Cheerios were confused as to why Marley would steer clear of any opportunity to meddle with a certain Bieber-haired boy. They were also getting a bit lost as to why Marley had invited him to Kitty's Halloween bash nearly two months before, but they had no choice but to shrug it off – besides, there's no talking back to Head Cheerleader Marley Rose.

The Cheerios had a massive event coming up, prior to their Nationals competition. Marley, as her thoughts were elsewhere, was beginning to lose interest in the cheerleading routine, but kept at it as a way to channel her mind and anger through sport and passions. Coach Sue had also encouraged a diet, which Marley reluctantly followed; the girls on the squad were also purging themselves of eating luxuries and Marley had no choice but to follow them. Soon, things were out of hand, and she began to force herself to throw up every day after school. She refused to believe that this perfect life she had once created was crumbling down on her, and she was in denial of the whole affair: a possible interest to Ryder, the forced vomiting; the insomnia due to the existential crisis she would face every night.

She plunged her fingers down her throat, leaning a hand on her toilet seat (even the Roses' toilet seats were perfectly polished), fighting tears that were threatening to spill out of her perfect blue eyes. She never thought she would be forced to do this to herself – a couple of weeks ago she was fine, but now she was so self-conscious and was dropping weight so she would be skinnier so Coach Sylvester wouldn't cut her off form her Head Captain role. As these thoughts swirled around her head at one hundred miles per hour she dug her fingers into her throat once more, sobs racking and shaking her body now. Questions made her forehead sore in pain, she was about to throw up a third time-

"Marley?"

She sniffed sharply and whipped her head around to the direction of the call, her immaculate ponytail (now fraying after a long day) threatening to smack her in the face as she did so. She looked up to where the voice in the doorway was coming from and just stared; she didn't know what else to do in a situation like this. Ryder.

"What the hell are you doing here, Bieber?" the venomous words rolling off her tongue in full force as she stood up and tossed a few mints into her mouth, crunching on them. "Why in God's name are you in my house?!" she yelled at the figure before her, who was looking slightly petrified.

"I was here for our tutoring session – y-your mom let me in, told me to g-go upstairs and toy were in the bathroom with the door o-open and… Marley, were you forcing yourself to-?"

"Would you shut up for a second, Four Eyes?" Marley yelled once again, walking past the boy and out of the bathroom to her mirror, looking at her reflection and her red, watery eyes. Then, realising her bad manners to such an innocent soul, she calmed herself down and looked at her bony fingers. "I forgot you were coming, sorry." She smiled sadly at the ground then turned around to meet Ryder, whose frightened expression had now much softened.

"It's okay, Marley. I'm sorry for intruding you. But, what were you doing in there? I heard gagging, Marley. That doesn't make me feel too good." His voice was protective; however this only made Marley's face burn up in rage once more.

"It doesn't make you feel too good, huh? Well, what a shame it would be for you not to feel too good. News flash: you're not my security guard, Ryder! You don't know anything, do you? You're good at algebra, you're good at school but you suck at knowing me, did you know that?

"But Marley-"

"I have to do this to myself in order to be at the top of McKinley. I have no choice but to go on all the diets, flirt with all of the guys, be a role model for every girl in that hell-hole because otherwise, you know what'll happen? I'll be a freak, a loser, a nobody; that crap was my entire middle school experience and I am not going to sit back and let myself be just another face in the crowd, you bitch!"

Ryder was silent now and he was just listening to her intently, looking slightly hurt, but more concerned. Marley didn't know she was crying until she felt her cheeks were wet - she swallowed down the lump in her throat and continued.

"I understand that you were trying to help, and thanks, you get to join along with all of the other douchebags in that school who are just 'trying to help', but no one – no one – will understand the immense pressure I get pushed into. And the minute, the minute I actually like a guy, I can't." she threw her hands up and sat on her bed in defeat. "I can't like him, unless he's a chiselled jock or a young teacher or a guy who has yet to be picked on in that school. And you know what? That sucks, Ryder. Especially when you just waltz into my life with your stupid massive glasses and your hair that makes you look like an idiot and your geeky obsession with 'Friends'. And I just… can't! And, even if I wanted to, that girl who you made out with at Kitty's skanky little Halloween bash would probably rather have you first!" she exclaimed as she leaped up from the bed, holding her forehead as if to stop the throbbing pains there. She began pacing her room.

"You probably don't even remember that slut-bag in her superwoman costume and her hair done up in innocent ribbons, and how she begged you to dance and then you two made out and I was there. I was there. And for a long time I didn't know why I was so upset, but I do now. It's because I wanted to be her, Ryder. I wanted to be in her shoes and swap lives with her for just one tiny second so that I would just be another face at a party rather than the face at a party; so that I would have less pressure. So that I got to kiss you again." She shouted in frustration and, without giving it much thought, cut Ryder off his thought process of what she had just confessed by pressing a passionate kiss to his soft lips.

Ryder's brain caught up with him as he kissed back and held onto that precious kiss for the seconds that it lasted, before Marley finally realised what she was doing and abruptly broke away, just like that night a month or so ago. She looked at him with wide and panicked eyes as he was looking at her, catching his breath in shock of what had just occurred. She let out a shaky sighing sound of pure panic and looked down, ashamed of herself, feeling the tears well up in her eyes again: they were threatening now to splatter on her perfect cheerleading uniform.

"I'm so sorry, I played you. I like you, but I c-can't."

Oooohhh so Marley admitted it! Is that what you thought would happen? Leave me a review to tell me what you think!

I honestly love the amount of favourites and follows I am getting from you guys, and the prompts you are giving me too (expect a scene of Ryder shirtless soon, Guest ;))

Anyway, I'll try to update soon – I'm going on a trip for a few days, but my school breaks up for the Christmas holidays on Friday, so expect some more chapters soon, hopefully.

Love you guys, hoped you loved this chapter and Marley's panicky outburst, haha!

-Beth :P