Hello everybody and welcome to chapter 5 of Underwater. I trust that you all have enjoyed my fan fiction thus far otherwise you wouldn't be sitting at the computer reading this. He-he. Well...it took me a little longer to update because I've been running around doing all sorts of things. And I'm putting a bit of ItaNaru, if you look at it sideways. He-he. Now it's on to the chapter. Remember the one-month time skip. And I know it seems like its always raining or storming in the story, but there is a reason for it. So there. (Sticks tongue out).
Disclaimer: I only own the plotline and it doesn't make me a millionaire, so therefore its pretty obvious that I don't own Naruto. The song is 'Grey' by Yellowcard.
Chapter 5. Mask of Smiles
Naruto let the blade slice over the skin of his thigh, grimacing in disgust at his newest method of coping. So what if he had to bleed to erase the way he felt inside? So what if Sasuke didn't suspect that he was cutting on himself? Nothing made sense anymore. And every time his brain tried to make sense of something the notions would warp and twist until they were no longer recognizable.
He was aware that he was drowning in self-pity. It didn't matter. Nothing seemed to matter anymore except cutting, bleeding, and healing himself slowly to leave scars behind. He had found that by using his chakra he could actually prevent the nine-tailed-fox from healing any wound he made. It hurt like a bitch but at the same time it felt so...wonderful.
Briefly he wondered if he was psychotic. 'I cut myself...' he thought dully as he brought the edge of a kunai down and it cut deeply into his thigh. Blood spilled out in dark rivulets. His eyes were drawn to the sight. Four dozen fresh cuts still oozed on his right thigh. Twelve crimson lines marred his left thigh; he wasn't finished yet. '...And I like it.'
'Grey skies clouding up the things
We used to see with wide eyes
Maybe everything was meant to be this way
Will it ever change?
But are we stuck here on our own.'
In a flurry of moves more cuts appeared, each gash rapidly leaking out the essence of life. The world whirled into a vortex of spinning colors before everything Naruto knew faded to black.
When he awoke again, merely ten minutes had passed. It was not the first time that he'd passed out since the beginning of his escapade. What had started as tiny unnoticeable nicks and scratches had blown up to deep cuts that almost required sutures. He was slowly losing himself...drowning under the puddles of life that he bled from his body regularly in order to manage the depression overtaking him one day at a time.
It was a good thing Sasuke was making conjectures on his recent behavior and that was one of outward happiness. Cutting made him feel good. Made him feel happy and decent and on top of the world. For a while, that was. Until the effects wore off and he had to take the blade to his skin once more.
Another benefit to cutting was that he did not have to burden Sasuke with his problems. He was able to think clearly for a while and answer any questions his boyfriend might ask with the ease of a wild horse galloping, almost like it was already in his nature.
But the mask of smiles he worse was deceitful. This dark little secret flowing through his veins acted like a corrosive on his soul. It was slowly, ever so slowly, killing him. A single tear traced over the rough marks on his left cheek. Dizzily the blonde stumbled to his feet and got into the shower.
Once inside, he let hot needles of water sting his skin and wash the dried blood away. The white floor was faintly red for a moment or two before the liquid ran clear again. A sigh left him limp and his catatonic gaze settled on the far wall as he slid to the floor slowly.
After an hour, the freezing water seemed to wake him from his paralysis. He stood, shut off the faucet, and climbed out of the tub. His thighs burned as the skin stretched open, causing the wounds to bleed again. Each mouth from every cut sang a bloody tune. Naruto winced and, thinking quickly, grabbed the end of the toilet paper roll and brought it to his right leg where most of the serious cuts were.
"Sonofabitch." he murmured as a burning sensation erupted across both thighs.
He took down a first aid kit from his simple bathroom vanity and began applying ointment to the wounds. It would have been faster to heal them with chakra. He wasn't stupid, but he wanted the scars to linger. He saw that the Kyuubi was already beginning to heal him so he focused his chakra on the area surrounding the cuts and held the demon's chakra at bay.
That done, a smile came easily to his lips. Was it really so easy to make him happy? He wasn't sure anymore. His mind was overcast with clouds of doubt. He saw how dark the toilet paper was getting and a warm heavy feeling settled in his stomach. The monster inside him...the monster that craved blood...had been satiated for now. But it would strike again sooner or later and Naruto wasn't sure that he would be prepared when the moment arrived.
He let the cuts bleed for a little longer before allowing the demonic chakra to heal his wounds. Deep purple-grey scars now lined his thighs in place of the cuts. He groaned, the urge roaring back up like a demon on its hind legs. 'Almost...' he thought bitterly. 'Like Kyuubi.'
With a remorseful sigh, he healed the cuts on his left thigh, stood, and put the wound dressings away. He had to get out of the house...had to get as far away from the house as possible. Before he went and did something he really regretted.
The memories of his past suicide attempt were haunting him with malice. He wanted to scream. To cry. To release the inner anguish until there was nothing left. Nothing at all. Running away seemed better than staying in this godforsaken place with a boyfriend he didn't deserve.
'It's all gone grey
It's all gone grey.'
He was halfway through packing his bags when a huge sob crept up on him with a stranglehold. Through blinding tears he speedily packed the rest of stuff away into a tiny knapsack – he didn't have much – and zipped it up. Now all he had to do was get out of Konoha without running into Sasuke.
...
Down the street he crept, using nightfall as his cover. So far, so good. He could sense Sasuke's chakra on the opposite side of the village. Within ten minutes he was two-a-half miles south of Konoha. 'I have no idea where I'm going.' he thought numbly.
Naruto stumbled blindly into the woods for another six miles. By that time his hands were cold with the desire to self-injure and his blood ran sluggishly through his veins. He felt sick. No. Worse than physically ill. His soul was crumbling to ashes under the enormous strain of the tiny little secret he kept buried alive.
And it would kill him unless he found a way to retreat inside his shell far enough where no one on any level could reach him. Normally, he would have faced this problem head-on the way he faced all other aspects of his life. But he wasn't liked that anymore. Changes in him were becoming more and more common.
Thunder threatened to split the heavens open with loud cracks that made one instinctively think of a giant toy monkey clapping cymbals together. It had not yet begun to rain but the smell in the air promised that it would. And he kept going, stumbling over logs, jumping through tree branches that lashed out at him in the vicious wind.
He ran and ran and ran until his legs were limper than cooked spaghetti and his face was numb from the stinging rain. Panting, he collapsed against a nearby tree-stump. His chest heaved with each and every breath and he had a really bad cramp in his right side. The tears that fell from his eyes were the only warmth that graced the otherwise cold, wet, and miserable Uzumaki Naruto.
Later on, after about fifteen minutes had passed, the genin felt well enough to get back on his feet. He traveled more slowly this time, shaky on his feet. He neglected to notice the long bloody scratches on his arms and face from the sharp branches. They felt good; the pain brought his mind away from the most recent of his problems.
'I have to get as far away as possible.' he thought bitterly.
He was twenty-three miles south of Konoha before he turned to look back. It was impossible to see with the rain that threatened to blind him. He had been running for over five hours and it was now almost the dead of night. More storm clouds billowed in the distance. Fork lightning illuminated the sky a brilliant purple-white color and the wind howled with ferocity.
'I found telling you the truth
The hardest thing to get out
I know it wasn't you that made me feel this way
Will it ever change?
Or are we stuck here on our own?'
The deciduous trees around him bent and swayed in the wind, most of them nearly touching the ground. A stray branch knocked Naruto in the leg; he almost fell but stumbled onward. Frustrated by his apparent lack of progress, his attention slipped and his foot slid on a slick puddle. He rolled downhill, gasping when a kunai in his pocket punctured through the pouch he wore on his left thigh and went straight into his leg.
A howl of pain pierced the night-darkened sky.
Somewhere nearby...
"Hey, Itachi-san. Did you hear that?"
"Hai."
"Shall we move out?"
"No. Whoever it is isn't too brilliant. They're heading right towards us."
"So we wait?"
"Yes, Kisame."
Two sinister voices intertwined and floated off into the howling, roaring storm.
Back with Naruto...
A sob escaped Naruto's shaking form. He trembled in pain; the kunai had cut deep into his femoral artery where it was now lodged. Gritting his teeth, he stood, using his chakra to prevent the nine-tails from healing his latest injury. It was the only thing he had to help him focus on. He needed the pain.
'You're so pathetic, Naruto. If only Sasuke could see you now, but of course, you ran away. He is not your boyfriend any more. Just look at yourself. You're absolutely pitiful.'
He began to run faster and faster, with complete disregard to the kunai sticking out of his thigh. He was so focused on escaping from his hellish mental entanglement that he barely noticed he was running towards an extraordinarily large chakra signature. Nor did he notice that he was headed directly towards someone in a large black cloak painted with crimson clouds.
"Oof!"
Naruto fell and pain blazed through his leg, paralyzing it. A gasp escaped his lips as the fall pushed the kunai in further. He was entrapped in a nightmarish blanket of misery and self-pity. He wore a face that looked as forlorn as it did weather-beaten. Orange and black clothes stuck to him like a wet bodysuit. It made a plaintive sucking sound when he tugged at the shirt that clung to his chest.
"I-I-Itachi?" his voice was hoarse from crying. A chill overcame his body and he shivered in the presence of the Akatsuki member.
'Wait a minute. Why am I scared? They only want Kyuubi. Its suicide, but giving myself to them would benefit all of Konoha. After all, they wouldn't have their demon container anymore.'
He stared at Itachi with a shadow over his eyes, a deadly impassive expression written across his face.
"If the Kyuubi is all you want, take it. I don't care anymore." he spoke in a tone that suggested absolute defeat.
Itachi wore a mask of cold indifference, but even he could not contain his curiosity about the demon container's state.
"What makes you think that we want the Kyuubi no kitsune?"
"Does it matter? I'm saying you can take the Kyuubi now. I am no longer in alliance with Konoha. I don't deserve to live there."
He muttered the last part on his breath so lowly that even the famous missing-nin could not hear it.
"Well, then. Lucky us." hissed Kisame Hoshigaki as he raised his bandaged sword in the air.
"I'll just cut off your chakra supply in case you are foolish enough to try and escape."
"Kisame, stop. Do you not see that he has a kunai, presumably one of his own, embedded within the flesh of his leg? He cannot escape in a state such as the one he is currently in."
"Oh...right." the fish-man glowered somewhat sheepishly as he lowered his sword to his back.
Itachi knelt by Naruto and looked him into twin pools of blue that held nothing but anguish and despair. Something constricted painfully within the man, but he couldn't be sure what it was. Something drew him to this sorry little genin that was unlucky enough to house the Kyuubi no kitsune.
Naruto couldn't hold himself up anymore. He didn't have the strength to. With a groan he shut his eyes as he prepared to hit the wet muddy ground but the contact never came. Instead, Itachi caught the genin and hoisted him easily over one shoulder.
"Let us get out of the rain, Kisame."
The blue-skinned man had seen the stoic mask of one Uchiha Itachi slip for the briefest of moments, but he would never be the one to mention it. Things like that...one just didn't bring up. It was offensive to the dark-haired ninja.
Both Akatsuki members teleported back to an old cave where they had been keeping their supplies for the past week. Kisame, knowing to leave the Uchiha alone, left to start a fire and the open end of the cave while Itachi took the genin further back to treat him.
Itachi's hand hovered above Naruto's foreheads, feeling the heat that radiated outward from it. There was no doubt about it. Naruto definitely had a fever. Itachi could see that the kunai was embedded in the femoral artery judging by the entrance and the dark blood that trickled sluggishly from the wound.
'I'll have to work fast or this boy does not have a chance. He could bleed out before I finish healing him. But I wonder...why isn't the nine-tails healing him. Could the fox possibly want his vessel to die?'
The missing-nin set his thoughts aside in order to focus on healing Naruto. He staved off a rather inappropriate thought as he realized that he would have to remove Naruto's pants in order to get better access to the wound.
With as much dignity as the Uchiha could muster, he slowly undid the button on the genin's horridly orange pants and slid them down carefully over the kunai. It was more than halfway embedded into the flesh and a dark bruise had already formed around the area; it looked dark, swollen, and irritated.
Green chakra emanated from Itachi's left hand as his right hand took hold of the kunai and pulled it out. A jet of blood spurted out onto his face before he placed his hand over the freely gushing wound and pressed down hard. The pressure combined with the rate of healing chakra generated by Itachi was enough to quickly close up the wound. All that remained was a keloid scar several inches wide.
As he looked over Naruto's body for other possible injuries his eyes caught on the rows of dark purple scars on either of the boy's thighs. He knew that the scars were from deep wounds and came swiftly to the conclusion that they were self-made. He stored the bit of information away in his head. Perhaps he would ask Naruto later.
Outside the cave the rain continued to beat down heavily upon the ground, sending up little puffs of dust before the deluge turned it all to mud.
'Given one more try
I don't know if I would stay
I feel so much better now'
Itachi pushed his long bangs away with one hand and let out an uncharacteristic sigh. Naruto's shivering frame was pressed against his knee. He picked up the trembling boy and realized much to his dismay that although his forehead indicated fever, his body was unbearably cold. The genin's lips and skin were blue and he was still unconscious.
The man carried Naruto near the fire and took off his cloak before setting him upon it. He then lay down beside the genin and closed the cloak again. This new sensation of being close to someone was distinctly foreign and uncomfortable. He grimaced while squashing the little voice inside his head that told him how much he actually liked it.
"What are you doing, Itachi-san?"
"I thought I told you to call me Itachi, "Kisame-san"." Itachi said with a bit of dry humor.
Yes. As unbelievable as it was, Itachi did have a sense of humor.
"Gomen nasai, Itachi. What are you doing?" Kisame apologized with a chuckle.
"His body temperature is far below normal. My body heat will warm him up faster. If we want the nine-tails, we have to keep him alive." he said, blank charcoal eyes gazed at Kisame.
The Uchiha wrapped an arm around the unconscious blonde and drew him closer, unconsciously admiring the way the small body fit against his own. His skin was like ice. It felt as cold as the winter rain that fell upon the ground beyond the entrance of the cave.
Gradually the color returned to Naruto's face, replacing the blue with the faintest of flushes. It looked almost as if someone had spilt cranberry juice across his cheeks and then made a half-hearted attempt to clean it up.
Naruto unconsciously shifted closer to the source of heat, enjoying the lavish warmth that Itachi's body provided. Somewhere inside his clouded mind, he was having a conversation with the Kyuubi. It went a little something like this.
"Kit...Kit!! Wake up."
"Mm..."
"Brat, wake up."
"Wha—What's going on? Why am I here?"
"Idiot boy. Do you not remember? You ran from Konoha like a wounded puppy. Pathetic."
"Shut up, Kyuubi. I don't want to deal with your crap. Why can't I wake up? I can't...I can't open my eyes."
"Because unconsciously you do not want to. Get over yourself. I am tiring of this darkness quickly. I see only through your eyes, brat."
"...Right..."
'Where did you go wrong?'
'I know you still hold on to me
But it's time to let go'
"Itachi. The level of chakra belonging to the nine-tails is elevating rapidly. What's happening to the brat?"
Itachi removed himself from Naruto's company and stood, Sharingan eyes activated in milliseconds.
"I...am unsure."
It was the closest he would ever come to admitting that he didn't know something. Kisame was impressed by his partner's behavior.
'How can an unconscious genin such as the nine-tails brat make Itachi lose his cool composure? Could it be that...No. Well, maybe. After all, the genin does not know we are rogue now.'
"S—Sasuke. I ran...I'm sorry. There's no excuse for what I did."
The name caught on Itachi's ears.
'Was Naruto...with my younger brother? Impossible. Sasuke is too stoic for someone as bright as this genin here. But then perhaps he is not as bright as I initially saw.'
"You don't...love me, anymore... do you?"
Naruto cried out in his sleep, rolling towards the fire. Itachi stopped the yellow-haired boy and shook him gently by the shoulders.
"Naruto." said Itachi mere decibels above a whisper.
"NOO!!" screamed Naruto.
His eyes snapped open, tears flowing freely from insipid blue pools. He glanced briefly towards Itachi before his gaze traveled to the floor. A dullness seemed to sever all life from the blonde. His hair was wet, matted and shone lifelessly as firelight flickered over his frame. His shadow was frozen on the opposite wall, occasionally dancing back and forth as the flames moved.
"You want the Kyuubi, don't you?"
"Are you suicidal?" asked Itachi, his alabaster skin further accented by the firelight.
Naruto thought for a moment. "Yes." he said although he had no clue why he was answering much less why he was being honest.
"Then Kisame and I will watch you. I saw the scars."
"Why are you telling me this?" Naruto asked genuinely confused.
"You ran from Konohagakure. You were talking in your sleep.
"So?" he replied with bitterness biting his every word. "What if I did? What do you care?"
Kisame gave Itachi a knowing look. The younger missing-nin nodded to give him permission to speak.
"We're rogue now. Itachi and myself are all that remain of the Akatsuki. We no longer exist as an organization. What use would we have of the nine-tails?"
"What happened to the Akatsuki?"
"Dead. We killed them after we found out that Pein was planning to have the organization betray us. It was...fun, to say the least, although the loss of Tobi was an unfortunate sacrifice. He died killing Pein so we could leave."
"Naruto." spoke the dark-haired man quietly. "Do you realize what we are asking of you?"
'I gave you the things I hate
That I could not get back again
But I'm better off alone.'
"You want..." Naruto screwed up his face in concentration.
He looked so funny that Kisame couldn't help bet let loose a chuckle.
"...Me to stay with you?"
"You said it yourself. You have no home now. Konoha would not take kindly to having a demo—" he was cut off by a stern gaze from Itachi. "...You return." he finished.
"Why not?" Naruto asked, blue eyes pleading for honesty and acceptance from both men. "I'll kill myself if you guys don't want me around and...I really want...a reason to live." he stopped to yawn, suddenly feeling the exhaustion weigh down upon him like ten tons of stone.
He'd run twenty-eight miles from Konoha and had been teleported over a hundred more. He was now being held, not threatened, by the remnants of the Akatsuki, and meeting a decision that would forever change his life.
'Should I accept? Should I take...this opportunity to become stronger? What's the point? But...I want...to live. I want to live.'
"Change is good, kit." grumbled the Kyuubi no kitsune.
"Yeah." Naruto said while feeling the fog lift from his mind for the first time in over four months. "Change is good."
"Who are you talking to?" the fish-man asked.
"I accept." said Naruto with a smile. "I accept."
'It's all gone grey
It's all gone grey
It's all gone grey
Its all gone grey'
Wow...A lot happened in this chapter. And I bet you weren't expecting the plot twist either. I don't know why I decided to change it to ItaNaru. It just...happened. Throw tomatoes at my muse. Blame her!! Anyway, that little button down there is waiting for you to click it. I do believe this to be my best chapter yet! : )