Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama. Hideaki Sorachi wrote it so well that even if I did own it, it would disappear into darkness like expensive sushi amongst poor people. OOC-ness since I can't seem to get the character personalities correctly.

Chapter 2

"Everyone, welcome to the first ever Tournament to the Death," Gintoki says with a bored voice into a microphone. "I take it that most of you already know what this contest is for, so continue while I enjoy my parfait in the background."

"Ah, sorry, everyone," Shinpachi snatches the microphone away from Gintoki. "The judges of this contest are Gin, Umibouzu, and myself. There are no weapons allowed in the tournament except hands. The matches are on the bulletin board, and we'll start in five minutes.

Five minutes later...

Three hours later...
Two hours later....

"Oi ," Gintoki says. "Why the heck did those lines mention hours when clearly only a few seconds passed?"

"The author didn't want to bother writing five hours worth of chapters that are deemed useless and she's too lazy to include all of the references that will be included in the fights."

"Wouldn't that make the author a person who fails to even write extra chapters for any reader out there who actually reads this fanfic?"

"Well, according to this card that says our script, we're supposed to say that next is the fight between Kagura and Okita, and that the Umibouzu left to fight an alien that is attacking a planet whose name is too long to be pronounced correctly."

"Again, a sign of laziness?"

"Yes, Gin, a sign of utter laziness. And we don't even get paid for this."

"What?"

"The author of this fanfic is too poor to pay us, so she's offering to buy you a chocolate parfait a day for a whole week, which you accepted without consulting the rest of us."

"Ah."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'AH', YOU BASTARD!" Shinpachi screams. "INSTEAD OF WASTING OUR TIME HERE WE COULD BE EARNING MONEY FOR THE RENT! KAGURA AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A FRICKIN' PAYCHECK YET!!! MY SISTER'S GONNA KILL ME!"

"Calm down, Shinpachi. You're being as tense as a high school girl who forgot to put on makeup on prom night. Anyhow, the next chapters going to be the big fight against Kagura and Okita, so this entire chapter was a waste of time."

….....................................................................

A/N: Like he said, it's a waste of time. I chose to not include "-san" and "-kun" to distinguish this as an English fanfic and to not inter mix this with the original Gintama concepts. Please review. Constructive criticism or flames if you really feel like it.