Disclaimer:I don't own Gintama. If I did, it wouldn't even come close as Sorachi 's Gintama. OOC-ness since I can't really get the personalities correctly.
And the Match Starts......
"Ah, everyone. This final match would be much different from the other matches," Shinpachi says into the microphone. "Okita, our finalist, and Kagura, the Yorozuya's fighter, are able to choose their weapon of choice. Manual weapons only, Okita," he said this as Okita pulled out a bazooka from hammer-space. "Since we already know these two, we've already given Kagura her umbrella and Okita a bokken. And now-"
"We discuss the awards," Gintoki takes the microphone from Shinpachi. "The losers who failed against Okita get nothing. We don't care how injured or close to death you are, since you've already signed the liability form. If Okita wins, Kagura will be his slave for a week. If Kagura wins, Okita treats us to food for a month. Deal?"
"Deal," Sougo and Kagura say simultaneously, glaring at each other.
Slave for a week and I get to beat her to death? Double profit. Sougo thinks to himself.
Free food? Now I can eat all the rice and eggs I want! And I get to beat the stupid sadist to death. Kagura 's already imagining the furikake in her mouth.
"And with a bang from this gun, the match starts." Gintoki takes out a gun with a strange design and aims at the sky.
Bang.
Gripping their weapons tightly, Kagura and Sougo fly towards each other to the center of the ring.
…..............................................................................................
Okay, hate me for this. I'm just here to address a question. Where did that bullet that Gin shoot go? In fact, what happens to all the bullets that people shoot into the air? Normally, they fly up, zoom back down to the earth, and hit the head of some unfortunate soul who is just unlucky, 60% a salary man who's gotten fired from work. If you've been paying attention to the line about 4 lines before the dotted line, there's a description, however vague, about the gun, which would have its origins delved later on. So where did that bullet go?
HIGH IN THE SKY OF EDO.....
"Hey, old man," the stupid prince says. "Why are we in such a flimsy boat when we could've used a stronger one?"
"I don't know, now shut up, Prince Ha-, no, idiot prince," the skinny, green manservant with an antennae coming out of his forehead says.
"YOU WERE GOING TO SAY MY REAL NAME, WEREN'T YOU? YOU SUDDENLY DECIDED TO CALL ME AN IDIOT, DIDN'T YOU? I TELLING MY FATHER!" the stupid prince says.
"Shut up, idiot prince. Eh, the engine seems to be malfunctioning," the skinny, green manservant says while poking at the screen.
"What?" the stupid prince walks from his chair and peers at the screen with the old manservant. And while focusing on the screen, they fail to notice that the boat seems to be tipping. AAANNNNNDDD they didn't notice until a chair crashes into the head of the stupid prince before breaking the windshield and hurling itself outside.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," the amanto in the broken ship screamed as they topple down onto the earth, heading straight into the arena.
BACK ON EARTH...
We now revert to a one minute before the stupid prince destroys the arena with his broken ship. The match already reached its three minute mark. Kagura swings the umbrella with insane strength at Okita, which is parried by Okita, who uses both hands to push the cracking bokken away before shifting the wooden sword into his right hand and striking down at Kagura, which was blocked with the umbrella using one hand. What's interesting is their expressions as they land hits on each other. On their faces were grins of twisted glee, despite their injuries, as if they are enjoying this, which is correct. Kagura manages to get a few cuts and bruises on her limbs, while one of Sougo' s ribs is bruised by Kagura' s umbrella.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," screams something from the sky. Distracted, everyone, including Sougo and Kagura look up. The stupid prince' s broken ship is crashing straight into the center of the arena, where Okita and Kagura were fighting. Before the two could react, the ship crashes into the arena, with Sougo and Kagura knocked out nearby. The injured were taken to the Oedo Hospital.
AT THE HOSPITAL LOBBY
Gintoki and Shinpachi manage to escape unscathed, but Kagura and Okita, as well as the already beaten up competitors, are still knocked out by the crash. Luckily, no one died, so no major charges are pressed to the Yorozuya. The stupid prince, however, had to pay a fine for damaging Kabuki district.
"Gin," Shinpachi says, with a strange expression while he and Gintoki sit in the lobby of the Oedo hospital, "Where did you get that gun?"
"Oh," Gintoki says while picking his nose. "Sakamoto gave it to me when he lost in our drinking contest."
Silence.
Silence.
A single bead of sweat makes its way down Shinpachi 's face.
The silence gets heavier.
And heavier.
And heavier.
"WHAT?!"
…..............................................….....Epilogue.....................................................................
….................................................................................................................................................................................
"Oi, Sougo," Hijikata shouts down the hall. "Where the hell did you get this picture?" Hijikata reaches Sougo's room and slams open the door."
"Okay, now say-" Sougo looks up from the floor. Kagura, who was next to him, had a dog leash around her neck and was on her hands and knees.
"What do you want, Mayora/Hijkata?" they say at the same time. Hijikata slamc the door close and backs away slowly.
"I need to smoke a cigarette," he mutters as sweat pours down his neck.
…..........................................................................
A/N: And the fanfic ends. I realized that this chapter is written in present tense, so I have to change chapter one and two to match the tense. Again, I didn't put "-san", "-kun", or "-chan" for reasons that are listed in the A/N of the previous chapter. This chapter is longer than the others since it has taken a whole plot change from completely Okikagu to barely Okikagu. Furikake is flaked food and is so great that I don't want to say flaked food instead of furikake. Prince Hata is called the stupid prince in this fanfic because I don't like calling him by his real name. Please review. Constructive criticism or flames are welcome.