She felt the overwhelming urge to scream building up inside of her as they shook and swooped and her stomach turned while Clara leaned her head back against the Doctor's shoulder and released it. She shouted out in excitement and then laughed heartily as he bent his head to kiss at her neck automatically in a way that was so familiar to her, but still sent shivers through her body as they evened out, hovering somewhere, and he pecked her one last time before drifting back and slipping his hand down her arm, taking hers to lead her towards the doors.
"This might," he began, his other hand coming up to gesture oddly before he tilted his head and reached for the door handle, "This might come as a bit of a shock."
Nodding quickly, she gripped his hand tightly as he pulled the door inward and Clara found herself staring out into space and for a moment she held her breath. Inhaling deeply, she pinched off her airways instinctively as her eyes widened and then she exhaled as she took a step forward towards him to look over the twinkling stars. There was a swirl of fuchsia like clouds in the distance, a burst of aqua at its center and it was rimmed with a speckle of emerald glowing here and there and Clara laughed. She raised an open palm towards it and she closed her mouth and turned to the Doctor, who was watching her.
He was adoring her, the way he always had, and she finally understood what it meant.
Outside of those doors were stars; outside of those doors was space – and he only had eyes for her. His smile was calm, taking in her complete acceptance of the fact that they were floating out in the universe in a wooden box because she knew he knew it was all lingering somewhere in a memory that hadn't resurfaced yet. The Doctor was confident – had seemingly always been – that with or without her memories, she would always remain his Clara and she would always want to be with him, whether travelling through time and space or living out their lives in a house on Earth.
She glanced at her left hand held delicately in his right and she looked over her ring before asking, quietly, "The writing, on our wedding rings – what does it say?"
With a small smile, the Doctor shook his head and told her slowly, "Clara, before we get there, there's something else you should know; something I should tell you really, because it's… it's important."
"You're an alien," she teased. "I remember – two hearts, twenty seven brains."
Clara laughed for a moment, but then she realized he wasn't joining and she stared at him as he looked back to the stars and smiled, head dropping slightly as his thumb moved slowly over her knuckles. Glancing back at the controls, she felt she was beginning to understand that maybe the words they'd exchanged in jest had been more than jokes. She inhaled softly at the notion and then raised her right hand, undoing one of the buttons of his shirt to slip her palm underneath and lay it flat against his chest, eyes meeting his as she took a long breath, feeling the double set of thumps she'd accepted before without giving it much thought.
"I married an alien; I married a proper alien," Clara sighed, nodding as she splayed her cool fingers out over the smooth skin underneath them and then she tilted her head and wrinkled her nose, "Do you really have twenty seven brains?"
He shrugged, "Might be a bit of an exaggeration."
She could feel her own heart pounding heavily in her chest as she looked out to the stars again, asking him lightly, "Where is your home?"
The Doctor chuckled and she turned back to him as he shook his head and palmed her cheek, raising his eyebrows and telling her earnestly, "Right here with you."
Narrowing her eyes at him curiously, she corrected, "Your home is lost, it's out there, but it's lost."
"Yeah," he laughed weakly, "You helped me keep it safe."
Nodding, Clara withdrew her hand and balled it in front of her. There were flashes in her mind, explosions and a quiet barn. An old man and a red monster and she shook them away, slipping out of his grasp and making her way back up to the console to lift her right leg off the ground and plant it back, absorbed in the artificiality of the step in that moment. Shifting back as she held the edges of the control panel she stood before, Clara looked back up at the Doctor, watching him clench his fists in front of his waistcoat anxiously and she smiled.
"It's alright," she told him, "You," she nodded, "This," she tilted her head towards the console, "It's alright; I'm alright – I just wish I could remember it all." Clara sighed because she felt she'd said that a thousand times since the accident.
She watched his lips slip into a grin that made her heart skip a beat as she blushed and she urged him closer with a shrug of her head, reaching out for him as he closed the Tardis doors and moved back up to the controls beside her. "We could watch the Industrial revolution take over America, or any place in Europe really, during the Renaissance, or Medieval times? Wear a nice dress – you like the dresses." He lifted a finger, "Or watch the first life crawl out from the waters, or the last blast off to the stars, or visit another planet entirely."
"Another planet," Clara laughed as he shifted closer to her, nudging her hip with his to gain a smile she aimed up at him before wrapping her arm around his, "Let's go to another planet, Doctor – which is my favorite?"
He grinned knowingly, and then told her, "Faraswara."
"Sounds like food," she said before giggling.
Tilting his head, he explained, "Best bread you've ever had. Fluffy and buttery and melts in your mouth. And the fields are filled with singing flowers – the gentle persistent winds billowing through their perfectly stiffened petals of varying sizes to create a melody you could listen to all day. And where the cliff faces run off into the ocean, the waterfalls hum against the porous surface they rush over so in the evening, as the twin suns set, you claimed it was the most romantic planet you'd ever seen; natures orchestra lulling and comforting you to sleep."
"Let's go there," she whispered.
The Doctor offered a wide smile and he bent into the controls to launch them back into the time vortex, hearing Clara laugh at his side as she gripped onto him for support and for a moment he worried about her leg, but they'd been to Faraswara dozens of times and it was one of the places they never found surprises. At least none that required running from danger. He settled them down in a small village just at the edge of those fields and he lead her to the door, smiling when she practically hopped with him.
"First planet," she breathed.
He smiled down at her, "First planet, all over again."
Clara watched the door open and she smiled when the sweet scent of blooming flowers rushed into her nostrils and lifted her cheeks as she grinned. She stepped carefully onto the gravel road and they made their way slowly over the street where they were greeted cheerfully as they made their way to what Clara could see was a bakery. She released his hand as they entered, ready to explore, and was surprised to be hugged by an old woman who looked from her to the Doctor and back again.
"It's been too long!" The woman offered.
"Bethany!?" The Doctor exclaimed, "Look at you, not a day over two hundred."
The old woman side eyed him and then turned to Clara, "How are you, Miss Clara? Last time you were around you were sick to your stomach and craving a loaf of my Nan's best."
"I'm doing well, thank you," Clara replied shyly.
The woman patted her cheek and nodded, "Be right back; fresh off the oven. Fill you right up."
They watched her move with a wobble towards a back room and after a moment, Clara let out a small groan as she smelled the freshly baked bread. "Are you kidding me?" She breathed.
"I know," the Doctor murmured in her ear.
They took a loaf and a small wrapped pack of fresh sliced cheese and thanked the woman who gave Clara another long hug and Clara could have sworn the old woman was praying in a mumbled mess of words under her breath. She thanked her again and they moved back out onto the road, Clara looping her arm through the Doctor's as they made their way over the uneven surface carefully towards the grassy field beside and then out to the flowers that, true to the Doctor's word, were whistling with the breeze.
"It's like a wind chime," Clara turned to tell him with a bright smile and when he tilted his head back to laugh she knew she'd said the same on her first trip and she lowered her head to smirk and look over the flowers.
Their petals were lilac that faded out to a faint yellow and Clara reached out to touch one, feeling the stiff edges, as though they were made from thin wood and when she snapped one away, she frowned, as though she'd injured an animal and she glanced up to see the Doctor smiling down at her the same way he always did. Her cheeks went red as she released the petal to be lifted in the wind and carried off adding another light note to the chorus around them.
In the distance, Clara could hear the steady swirl of hums, rolling up and down the musical scale and mingling with the sounds coming from behind and she stilled when he stopped, looking up at him and telling him lightly, "I could get used to this."
The Doctor lifted his left hand to her cheek, watching his fingers push into her hair as it fluttered over his knuckles and he sighed, thumb rubbing over skin before he bent lightly and pressed a small kiss to her lips. He paused, hovering there, breath warm on her lips and Clara inched forward with a slight tilt of her head into him and she sealed her lips to his. Her heart gave a heavy thud when he worked her tongue over with his and she smiled into the movements, turning fully towards him to land her right foot between his and grip at his waistcoat
The Doctor broke the kiss off with a light laugh she mirrored and then removed his jacket from her carefully and moved to a spot to toss it down and gesture at before helping her down to sit. Clara heard him settling at her side as she looked down at the divide between her skin and the flesh color of the artificial limb that sat limp against the inside lining of the Doctor's coat. She reached down to push the button to release the prosthetic as the Doctor stopped unwrapping the cheese slices to watch her – and she knew he was watching her.
With a small grunt, she plucked the limb off her leg and then rolled the sleeve with the pin off and plucked the sock away from her stump and she laid it out as she bit her lips against the tears she felt coming. Clara leaned back on her palms and looked out at the twin suns in the sky, beginning their descent towards the horizon before she looked to the Doctor and asked, "How will I travel like this?"
He held the cheese between his fingertips, frowning at her before he shook his head and she watched his eyes well up as they reddened, Clara knew, because he understood her sudden hesitation and he understood her worry and he understood the pain she was feeling as she turned back to look at her leg. In her mind she could still feel the foot that was missing and the way she wanted to use it to kick off the shoe that remained on her left.
Clara sat up and felt her own tears fall and she smiled, sniffling and curling her right knee in, something that still ached her, as she bent to pull her shoe off to set it beside her. She felt him crawling closer to her, setting the cheese down atop the bag that still held the warm bread and he took her hands to tell her gently, "We'll travel slowly, carefully, mindful of your leg, and smartly – just as we had before."
Shaking her head, Clara replied sadly, "It will never be like it was before."
"Clara," he sighed, giving her hands a squeeze as he smiled and continued, "The last time we were here, we laid out just like this, two loaves between us and an assortment of fruits and we simply talked and laughed – nothing we can't do now."
She tilted her head and argued, "But this is an adventure, travelling in space."
He laughed, "Clara, life is an adventure – you aren't withdrawing from that too, because I've got some words for you if you've chosen to withdraw from every experience because it will perhaps, be a bit different."
Reaching for the cheese, he handed it to her and he pulled the bread out, easily tearing apart a piece with his fingers before plucking a few strips of white cheddar to settle between the halves. With a smile, he exchanged the sandwich for the cheese and nodded.
"We just had dinner; this is an insane piece of…" Clara began.
"Eat," he ordered as he chuckled, waiting for her to take a bite, eyes closing as she moaned and he told her softly, "A bit different isn't bad. It's a new way to experience the universe around us and I'm more than ready to share that with my wife again." He smiled when she looked back at him, swallowing her bite down with a small grin, "Everything with you is new, even after a hundred times, and even after a hundred times more, I'll still want to experience it. With you, and only you." He nudged her cheek with his knuckle and lightly sighed, "My Clara."
And Clara smirked and whispered back automatically, "My Doctor."