Clara couldn't imagine she'd ever get used to the way it felt when the Tardis swung through the time vortex and, looking at the man who stood beside her laughing happily, she knew he hadn't gotten used to it either. With a small smile as she gripped the edge of the console, she understood it wasn't the motions that were turning their stomachs delightfully – it was the unknown destination and knowing when they arrived, they would head out together to explore it.
And for the first time in weeks, she truly felt like she was alive again – like she was part of her own world again and she knew it was him. All of the time spent sheltering her from this secret; holding her back from becoming his entirely… it had taken its toll, leaving her confused and in the dark, but now? The Tardis landed and she watched him swing a lever and turn with a bright grin she mimicked, eyes wide and waiting, and she felt like the world had suddenly become vivid.
"Where've we landed?" She asked, because he'd purposely not told her where they were headed.
"Still a surprise," he teased, leaning forward and giving her nose a small poke with his forefinger.
The Doctor reached for her hand and she could see the sigh of relief he released when she took it quickly, fingers wrapping over his without hesitation and she knew, instantly, he'd been suffering for their separation as well and the notion tickled her gut knowing how much he'd been longing for this. Clara laughed because she knew she wasn't the only one who'd been saturated with new life and she enjoyed watching him twirl around her with an easy laugh. The burden of keeping the Tardis from her; keeping his identity from her; keeping their world from her had lifted from his shoulders and with that weight gone, he was lighter, faster, happier, and seeing him floating about gave her energy she didn't know she'd had.
They moved quickly together towards the doors and Clara's left arm circled around his at her right as their hands remained clasped at her hip. She giggled up at him and she watched the smile shift on his face, dropping from excitement to admiration and for a moment they simply stared at one another.
"I love you," he finally uttered, right hand coming up to caress her cheek.
She wanted to be flippant; some part of her told her to be, to shrug and offer a quick I know, but her heart skipped at the look he was giving her, reminding her of the tender way he'd helped her finish bathing, sprinkling her body with kisses afterwards. She could still feel every feather-light touch of his lips against her skin, as though they'd marked her, and she quietly replied, "I love you."
Clara understood, in the way he continued to look over her – even after she'd said the words – they meant so much more than a conveying of feeling and she found herself suddenly hating herself for not remembering how they met, or how they first began travelling. Clara wished she could recall, with as much ease as she could the feel of his fingers over her skin from just a short time ago, what he'd looked like, the moment she first laid eyes on him. She finally turned to the doors and heard him chuckle, pulling them open, and as she stared out at the yellow sky and the mess of caverns just a few feet away she wondered where they'd first gone.
What had been their first adventure?
"Caves," she stated with a lop-sided smile.
He raised a finger and offered, "Not just caves," and she waited, glancing up at him as they began walking towards them, a buzz of excitement building through her body as she carefully maneuvered the rocky landscape, mindful of her prosthetic and thankful he'd warned her to wear trainers. "They used to be just caves, until the first visitors arrived and soon after, just months really, they began to notice the sparkling bits of newness growing about them. And then the just caves became extraordinary caves filled with the largest jewels for galaxies. Miners have been harvesting from them for centuries and they'll continue on until there are no miners left."
Shaking her head, Clara pointed out, "But if there are no miners left, wouldn't the jewels grow rampant?"
"That's the thing, Clara, before the miners, they were just caves – there were no jewels."
"But then, how did the jewels start to grow," she began before straightening and asking, "The miners brought the jewels; how did the miners bring the jewels? You can't simply grow jewels, can you?"
He shrugged, "Why not? Isn't that how all jewels begin? Speck of dust under just the right circumstances in a clam's mouth yields a pearl; spot of coal condensed over a million years becomes a diamond."
"Millions of years though, Doctor," Clara shot, "You said months."
"Like a clam," he offered.
"They bring specs of dust and…" she looked down at her feet, at the rough surface not actually made of rock and she barked, "Living planet?"
He laughed, "Giant clam, we're standing on the outer shell."
"The caves are mouths?" Her face contorted and he pointed.
"Not, exactly, like a mouth; more like pores."
"Oh," she nodded, still slightly sickened at the thought. "Wait, are we going into the pores? Like pores on a face? A porous face? And we're stepping inside?"
"How else will we see the jewels?" He shot, raising a hand and letting it fall against his thigh as she laughed, taking in the smirk he gave her in response as they began to walk.
They huddled together as they approached one of the darkened openings and Clara glanced around, trying to imagine how they were going to see, when suddenly the area at her side lit up and she began to stutter in confusion before simply stating, "Doctor?"
"Bioluminescence, forgot to mention that… what forms here retains the general genetics of the planet it came from and these," he gestured, "These come from a planet with bioluminescence in their biological bag of tricks – probably Yorsithania, they operate large mining equipment and send frequent expeditions out into this part of the universe – and they've trudged through these caves, leaving behind that footprint, if you will. Generally motion activated, did you breathe on it?"
"Might have," she replied with a tilt of her head before she glanced down at her feet to see the spot they were standing on was slightly glowing. Clara giggled and they stopped, several feet in, as she reached out and gave a rock a tap and frowned when it remained dark.
The Doctor laughed and sighed, "Well they can't all be imbued with the same properties. Some light up, some are just rocks."
"Got that," she chuckled, "But bless you."
He froze again and she sighed, having gotten used to knowing when she'd repeated something from their past, slipping out of his grasp to make her way carefully to the wall to begin running her hands along the rocks, gasping excitedly when spots lit up underneath her fingers and began illuminating her path. The Doctor followed, his own hand reaching out to their right and soon they were deep within the darkness, a trail of lights behind them the Doctor assured would lead them back out.
"Clara," he called, bending, and she carefully made her way towards him, planting her hands on her knees as she bent to get a better look at what he was pointing at and she laughed before he plucked the red ruby-looking rock out of the wall to hand her.
Holding it and straightening, she watched him shift up, dusting his hands on his pants as she asked, "But Doctor, are we allowed to simply take this?"
With a smirk, he reached for her hands, wrapped around the rock, and he raised it slightly, telling her quietly, "Look at it."
She felt her lips twist into a grin and she narrowed her eyes as she tried to look at the jewel she held in the dim light and after a moment she gasped and gestured at it, mouth falling open as she said, "My mum's ring is in there; my name, that says this belongs to me."
Nodding, he explained, "You wanted to grow your own; thought it might be fun, if no one took it."
"We've been here!" Clara laughed, "You and me, we've been here, months ago."
He reached out and she began to hand him the rock, but he laughed and raised his brow as he waited for her hand and when Clara took it, he began to lead her further into the cave. She inched closer to him, watching every other step light up underneath them and she lifted the jewel to tap at the wall to her left, smiling each time one came to life, listening to him chuckling. She wanted to ask where they were going, but she knew he wouldn't tell her. He enjoyed the surprise and, being honest with herself, she enjoyed it as well. Knowing that when she looked up and met his eyes she would find happiness in them instead of sad frustration, Clara was willing to walk along in the dark for a time.
"Almost there," he whispered.
Her giggle echoed and after a moment they came to a stop and he turned to her, looking around before pulling the Sonic out of his pocket and lifting it straight up to set it off with a loud buzz that resonated throughout the cave. Above them was suddenly brilliantly lit and Clara shifted her gaze there, seeing the rocks sparkle out from the space over them, light crawling over the walls like water until they were bathed in that glow and she looked to him them, seeing the satisfaction on his face.
"We weren't here months ago, Clara," he told her quietly, "In our own timeline, we were here four years ago and here, right here on this spot, I stood here and proposed to you."
She laughed and nodded slowly, feeling her eyes well up slightly because she couldn't imagine he would propose to her any other way in that moment. No fancy dinner or public display could ever be more appropriate or romantic than them standing inside of a glowing pore on a living planet. Her thumb moved over the band on his finger and she smiled up at him. "And I said you're insane."
The Doctor laughed heartily and nodded, "Something like that, but then," he dropped down, "I went on one knee because I thought you'd thought I was insane; I thought you thought I wasn't being serious." He held her left hand in his, massaging at her palm and fingers softly as his brow came together, "Me, a thousand year old alien – why would I want to marry a silly human?" He smiled up at her and his forehead relaxed as he continued, "And I needed you to know that there was nothing in the universe I wanted more than to spend the last of my days with you. My Clara Oswald… my impossible girl." Glancing around, he offered, "And I told you then that you were the light in my darkness, like the rocks around us, and you were my path through the unknown," he nodded back towards the tunnel through which they'd come, illuminated as far as they could see, and he told her firmly, "You're my way home, leaving your traces through my entire life, continually leading me to you, because you are my home."
Clara took a long breath, watching him as he removed her ring and held it, tracing a finger over the words etched into the sides and she breathed, "You are my light."
He laughed and she could hear his tears, "That's what I had inscribed on your ring in the language of my people and what's written on mine is what you said to me that day."
"And you are mine," Clara replied automatically. Her head shook slightly as she blinked, wetting her cheeks before she admitted, "I don't remember, but I do – I know I do, somewhere."
Nodding, he sighed, "I know – I know it's there Clara and if you never get it back on your own, I'll help you know it when you can't remember because what was true four years ago is still true: You are my light; you are my everything." He glanced up at her and asked her quietly, "Clara Oswald, am I still yours?"
With a sigh and a small smile as he slipped her ring back on, she dropped her forehead to his, hands grasping at his shoulders as she nodded and whispered, "For all of our days."