They strolled over a valley of what looked like swaying sunflowers and Clara smiled faintly at one just to her right that swung slowly in her direction, misting her with its pollen before she turned back to see the Doctor lifting the right side of his coat to cover his face and she managed a laugh as he muttered, "They're trying to shoot me in the mouth."
"It's your imagination, Doctor," she called back.
His finger came up and wagged about as he told her, "For breeding purposes, they assume us to be other flowers and considering our structural biology to theirs, our faces should be a point of attack."
She tilted her head and offered, "I've yet to be hit in the face – maybe they don't like you."
"Or maybe I'm wrong," the Doctor uttered as he straightened, watching as she shifted slightly, sending her dark skirt twirling over her thighs and he could see the multiple golden splotches over it. Turning to the closest flowers, he whipped his Sonic out and ran it quickly over them, staring at the results and laughing nervously before allowing, "They're male."
Clara's movements stopped and she frowned down at herself and then her face contorted as she considered the pollination of her skirt before she began to laugh softly, gesturing up at him. He watched her in confusion a moment before his features softened as her hand came up to cover her mouth, her eyes having disappeared behind a laugh. Despite everything she now knew, in spite of everything she now knew, Clara had maintained that terrible things happened – life happened – but no matter how down they found themselves, they couldn't forget to live.
They'd laid in that bed together for an hour after he'd told her how their daughter had spent her last moments, neither of them saying a word, simply crying quietly together. After their shared tears, he'd glanced down at her every so often to find her staring blankly into his side, or to the wall across from them, and then her face would crumple and she would succumb to more tears. He imagined it was partially out of guilt for not having a single memory of the baby girl she'd lost, but knowing her daughter had suffered trying to do the very thing Clara strove to do herself – fight to live in spite of the horrors of life – gave her a connection to the child. Clara's girl would have had her spirit and the notion crushed her; the reality of that fact made her daughter real.
Not just a story he told, but an extension of Clara stolen away prematurely.
The Doctor knew her heart was broken, just as his had been over the death, but he hoped knowing the truth mended her just as being able to finally tell her had relieved him of some of the guilt he'd been carrying. Clara didn't blame him – at least not yet – and that had been one of his fears. Just as her father had blamed him, blamed him for not being able to change her past, he feared Clara would as well, but she remained, clinging to his side, trying to calm her breathing while searching her memories.
And he'd known she'd been trying desperately to remember then.
Eventually they both had gone silent, numb to the sirens in the distance, the children shouting at one another as they headed for their homes, and the birds that chirped away through the dusk hours. She remained pressed into him, her cheek against his breast and he concentrated on her warm breaths and the rise and fall of her bosom against his ribs wondering if she'd fallen asleep because he couldn't see her eyes through the long bangs that curled over her forehead.
Then she'd rolled onto her back to stare up at the ceiling. He'd watched her then, her eyes focused on a spot as her mind worked over a thought and he'd wanted to ask her, but he felt he hadn't deserved to know. After all of the lies and all of the secrets, Clara deserved to keep her own if she chose and he'd allowed her that, trusting that when she was ready to share with him, she would.
"Let's go somewhere," she'd stated.
"Clara, if there's one thing I've learned after a thousand years of running away, it's that…" he'd started.
But she'd interrupted, "I'm not running away from this, Doctor. One day I'm going to remember how I felt when I first found out about her and one day I'm going to remember her inside of me and one day I'm going to remember all of the things I had hoped for her. Specifically for her." Clara had sat up and without looking to him, she'd told him, "Doctor, let's go on an adventure."
He'd shifted up and bounced over the bed to sit at her side, holding his hand out and he felt the chill he hadn't realized was freezing his hearts melt away as she took his hand again. The Doctor had nodded, knowing from his conversation with Dave that it's what her mother would have said. Not to run away from the pain, but to live with it; to continue on in honor of the moments they'd lost and the child they mourned and he took her to the first planet he'd thought to take their baby girl.
A planet covered in a perpetual bloom of flowers that hid a population of smallish colorful winged creatures who chirped and smiled and knew little of anger or hate or sadness or sorrow. It was where they were headed now, past the sunflowers that were growing in height, through a forest of leafy giants that sheltered them from the patches of rain that felt daintily from the puffs of clouds in the bright blue sky over the taller vegetation and he smiled as she looked up through the branches to see the light from the three stars that slowly spun their way around the planet.
"It's amazing they've never crashed," Clara called, her voice muted by the croaks of monstrous amphibians that sat in the puddles around their feet. "Three stars racing around a planet, how do they not crash, Doctor?"
He leapt over a log and watched her laugh lightly as he landed with a frightened yelp and Clara waited for him to catch up, to gesture up through the oversized branches towards that sky to say, "They don't crash, Clara, because it's not a race – it's a perfectly choreographed dance. One that began millions of years ago, slowly pulling together bits and pieces floating about in space to form a planet. They used to move quicker, days passing in seconds, but as the mass at their center of gravity grew, they slowed and they'll continue slowing."
"The planet will continue to expand?" Clara asked quietly.
"Slower and slower as time goes on, but yes, and eventually those stars won't crash into one another," he told her sadly, "They'll skim through the atmosphere they've created, swirling the gasses and killing off the vegetation and, eventually, the life. What doesn't evolve to escape to the stars will perish here and eventually those stars will embed themselves into the planet, and it'll lie dormant in space."
Clara frowned and offered, "That's horrible."
"That's the universe, Clara – and unfortunately everything has a beginning and an end."
Lifting her chin defiantly, she replied quietly, "I understand that concept, Doctor, but the very stars who created the planet then destroying it?" She shook her head, "It would be like parents who killed their own child."
He watched the sadness that dropped onto her face and the way her shoulders slumped and he reached for her, turning her quickly to tell her, "You didn't kill her, Clara."
"I was four months pregnant on a motorbike," she replied, raising her reddened eyes to meet his. "Her life was in my hands and I chose to…"
"Continue doing what you'd been doing for years," he interrupted. "Clara," he stroked her hair, "It could have happened in a car; it could have happened on the tube or in a plane or simply walking, even standing still."
She nodded slowly, lips turning up slightly before she asked mutedly, "How far to the Soonari?"
He dropped his palm into hers and wrapped his fingers around her hand, waiting to feel her warm digits squeeze back in appreciation before he turned his chin to point into the dense forest, "Not too far, I'm actually surprised they haven't come out to greet us."
And just then he heard a fluttering, heard her gasp at his side and when he turned to look, there was a thin being the size of a small cat flying in the air at her side, one long arm reaching towards Clara as it's small humanoid face mimicked the frown she wore. He stood still, taking in the sunset colored wings that flapped rapidly behind it and the way it continued to move closer to Clara until it landed stealthily on her shoulder, carefully caressing her face and eventually it nuzzled into her, making a tiny sad moan before it gave a hiccup and purred against her cheek.
The Doctor watched as others approached slowly, cautiously, and surrounded her, some hugging at her arms and others at her legs, lightly swatting away the pollen on her skirt, two giving her prosthetic light pats as they hummed to it. She smiled and her hand came out of his as he shifted back, knowing they had sensed her sadness and they aimed to drive it away with their love. Two smaller Soonari quickly darted out, straight to Clara's face and her eyes widened as they studied her, tugging at her cheeks and running their thin hands over her brow and then they moved around her in a quick twirl of yellow lights before settling against her stomach to join in the humming the others were doing.
"They want you to be happy," the Doctor told her quietly, "They don't understand sadness, but they understand soothing – this is how the mothers soothe their young, with hugs and singing."
She was nodding, before she asked, "Can I touch them?"
His head bopped quickly and he told her enthusiastically, "They would see it as a sign of affection, of you welcoming their affection and they would be pleased. Yes, Clara, you can touch them."
Moving slowly to avoid frightening the Soonari attached to each of her arms, she curled her palms around the two younglings at her midsection and they both released chirps of laughter and as Clara laughed with them, the Soonari came loose from her body and began a dance around her and the Doctor through the air, zipping about happily. Clara released another small laugh and the two younger aliens at her belly made their way up to snuggle on either side of her neck and Clara asked quietly, "Could I take a photo?"
The Doctor took the phone she was slowly pulling from the pocket in her skirt and he chuckled as he aimed the camera and watched her smile. It wasn't quite the ecstatic smile he'd gotten used to after the accident, it was more subdued, lips pressed firmly together, dimply deep in her left cheek, but it was still a welcome sight knowing she was going over his admission in her mind regularly now. He snapped the photo, showing the flying beings that were buzzing just over his shoulders and pointing at the phone he held. And they laughed at the image before beckoning the Doctor and Clara to follow them into the forest towards their home.
"They're inviting us for dinner," he told her.
Clara wrinkled her nose to ask, "Aren't they afraid we'll eat it all," and then she laughed because the two creatures on her decided to shift into her hair to begin weaving through it, combing through her locks and making conversation between them.
Shaking his head, the Doctor supplied, "No, they've got more than enough. They harvest from the forest and are amazing at natural preservation of food product," and he pointed, "Looks like they're enjoying you."
Clara reached into her hair and she felt the small wet pecks of their lips on her skin before they hugged her fingers and shifted to settle into her palms, their long legs dangling onto her wrists and their wings curled around their bodies like blankets. Walking next to the Doctor, Clara watched them as they lazily sang to one another in her hands and for a moment she stiffened and the two creatures scrambled to sit upright, sensing her shift in mood, frowning up at her until she offered a sigh and a smile and then they relaxed.
The Doctor turned his attention ahead, towards the curtain of lights they would be moving through and he listened to her trying to hum along to appease the small creatures. He bowed his head, and as soon as he crossed the curtain he felt several Soonari swoop in his direction, attaching to his extremities to hug him forcefully as one came to lift his chin and kiss at his nose, trying to alleviate him of the ache he felt, watching Clara hum to the small beings lying in her palms.