Of Claws and Totems

Chapter 15

News

"What!" Kalara gasped.

"We know where Miyara is, Kalara." Joanna said reluctantly. The smells coming off of her were… mixed. The strangest one among them was the smell of defiance. What had she to be defiant about? This Joanna was a strange character.

"Well where is she? Is she ok? Can I see her?" Kalara demanded.

Joanna frowned, dealing with some sort of internal struggle. She looked to Fergus for help. He nodded and started to speak, keeping a wary eye on Blackheart. "From all accounts she is… fine, but I doubt you can just see her." He was looking even more unhappy than usual. Blackheart knew this was going to be bad.

"What do you mean I can't see her? If she's fine then why can't I go to her?"

Fergus looked back at Joanna, hoping to delegate the rest of this duty back to her. With a heavy sigh, Joanna said, "Look Kalara, she…" she paused for a moment, gathering up her nerves, "in the Twilight Highlands, the Twilight Hammer has been gathering together in a larger force than usual. It looks to be a permanent base of theirs. An Alliance scouting group that found the camp was almost wiped out excepting the couple that made it back. One of them recognized who had attacked them. They said it was Miyara. She's working with the Twilight Hammer now."

The news hit Kalara like a brick. For one of the few times that Blackheart had known her she was completely speechless. The scents coming from her were changing as well. At first it had just been the jealousy slipping away, but when Joanna had finished the account, one smell he hadn't expected was building: pure unadulterated rage. It was small at first, and to him it didn't fit, but soon it was a full on storm of anger that completely drowned out the other scents in the room. He could see some of the worgen in the inn looking around as well, obviously sensing the smell.

In a voice completely void of emotions, Kalara said, "You're sorry." After a short pause, heat came into her voice and it started to rise, gradually ending in a shout. "You're sorry? Now you're sorry? You had damned well better be sorry! This is all your fault! If it weren't for you, this would never have happened!"

Joanna's voice rose in volume as well as pitch as she argued back. "My fault? It's hardly my fault that your sister has turned into a traitor. If anything you should thank for me for telling you."

Kalara's voice went deadly calm then, no longer in a shout but still carrying as much malice as Blackheart had ever heard. "Thank you? You want me to thank you, after all that you've done? Fine then, let me show you my thanks."

Kalara's eyes lit up for second before summoning her shamanistic magic, sending an arc of electricity towards Joanna. Expecting the attack, though perhaps not the intensity, the priest had shielded herself and the electricity wove around it, dissipating in a loud crack. Blackheart could see the magical power arcing from Kalara's body, her eyes aglow with electricity, and could smell the anger coming from Kalara. If this didn't stop, someone would end up hurt, or worse. A blast of ice flew from her hands next, ricocheting off the priest's shield and burying into the floor. Joanna's eyes widened as her shield started to shimmer and fade; the next attack would break it altogether. That attack had not only affected Joanna, but it could have hurt someone else. Blackheart decided to end it, before Kalara did something she would regret, and grabbed her wrist.

"Kalara stop!" he said, forcing her to turn around and face him.

"No!" she yelled right back at him. The look in her eyes was completely foreign to him… and it reminded him of when he himself went into a blood rage. As she shoved her hand into his chest, it was like she didn't recognize him at all. When he had grabbed her he had hoped that just his presence and voice could stop her, which left him ill prepared for what actually transpired. What he felt after her hand touched his chest was the sensation of breaking ribs as a force of air hurled him through the room, followed by the unpleasant feeling of glass shattering against his back, tearing into him, as he flew into, and through, the window of the inn. None of that had been a pleasant feeling against his tender human skin, and neither was the tree that stopped his ill bestowed flight. The only good thing right then was the blackness swallowing up his consciousness.

Kalara stared at the shattered window, blood still dripping from the frame and the glass that she had sent Blackheart through. Once the realization of what she had done set in, the power arcing around her snapped off. The knowledge that she had just attacked Blackheart chilled her blood, rooting her to the spot and draining any of the anger she had previously felt away from her. She was still staring at the window when the sentinels rushed into the room, and it was the last thing she saw as one of the guard's blackjacks knocked her unconscious.

Kalara had come back to her senses and the first though in her head, aside from the pounding headache, was the knowledge of what she had done. She had attacked Blackheart. There was no accident this time; this was no playful zap of electricity to his behind when he wasn't looking or accidental discharge of powers she couldn't control. She had flat out used her magical abilities against him; stabbing him with a dagger would have been no less of an infraction. Secondly the thought that she had attacked Joanna ran through her mind, which she did feel bad about… sort of. Well, she did feel bad about the damage she must have caused to the inn.

Blackheart was what she spent most of her time thinking about though. Boiling it all down she just wanted to cry. It seemed to her that whenever she got something good going it was taken from her. She had spent her entire life putting on a brave face. She had lost so much: her parents and friends in the crash of the Exodar, her sister later on, she had lost some status in society just because she was a shaman instead of something holy, and now maybe she had lost Blackheart. This was different though… she didn't think she could just put on a brave face and move on if he left her, or if she… she couldn't even bring herself to think about the fact she might have killed him. She spent much of the next few minutes convincing herself he was much tougher than normal while fighting, and failing, to hold back her tears.

When she finally pulled herself together she took stock of where she was. She had been lain out on a rough bed in a dark cell. She couldn't see much and tried to call forth some flames to light up the area… but nothing happened. She tried the other elements as well and got the same result. They must have put her in some kind of anti magic cell like they had in Azure Watch. Irritated as she was, she couldn't really blame them for it. There was a faint light coming from a slit along the floor, which must have been where the door was. Getting off the bed she crawled her way over to the door and called out to see if anyone was there. She got no answer though, and expected none. Crawling back over to her bed she laid down, wishing she knew that Blackheart was ok.

Blackheart was at his family home, near Dustwallow Marsh, introducing Kalara to his mother and his siblings. His family had been overjoyed when he had returned. His brother Wayne and sister Jonie, now both slowly coming into adulthood had pestered him for stories, at least once they could stop marveling over Kalara. That had been an entire experience in itself, with his mother being startled at first and then rushing off to prepare her best meal, his sister purely amazed by Kalara, and his brother giving him knowing winks which, in Blackheart's opinion, even at sixteen he still should be too young for. It felt strange answering to Kaleth again, and it took a long time to explain how he had earned the name Blackheart and ended up finally back at his family's home.

His mother had just brought in her locally famous roaster boar ribs to eat when Blackheart smelled something… unsettling coming from outside. His family looked at him questioningly when he got up and left to investigate. Once outside he could see that something was wrong with the world. The sky had a red haze to it, and a presence was there trying to take him away from his family and Kalara. When he turned around, Kalara was there but… something was wrong with her. She was floating above the ground and had grown in size, and her eyes were solid red. She seemed to be yelling at him for something he couldn't understand. She raised her hand, summoning a boulder out of the earth and sent it hurtling at Blackheart. When it struck him, he jolted awake coming face to face with Joanna.

He recoiled and almost swooned from the pain in his chest and back, instantly recalling the pain of being attacked by Kalara. Joanna placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him down, holding him in place. His shirt was gone, like because of the damage done to it, and he had bandages woven around his chest. "I'm trying to heal you, don't move," the priest said. He could smell her weaving the healing waves. Her healing magic smelled… sterile… white if he had to put a color to it, but emotionless almost. Very boring compared to shaman's magic. It also felt different, instead of a gentle brook washing away his wounds, it was more like laying in a hospital and something was merely pulling his bones into place and his skin back together.

Joanna had placed her hands on his chest; they were glowing with holy power as she finished up the healing. Once everything was finished she let her hands rest on his chest for a while too long. Blackheart reached up and removed them, leaning forward slowly. "You're in no condition to go anywhere, handsome," Joanna said, eying him and his now bare chest.

"Where's Kalara?" he asked, trying to stand but falling back to the bed. Odd… holy healing seemed to draw out his physical exhaustion where as Kalara's healing had always just made him hungry. Thinking of Kalara brought back the memory of what had happened. He still didn't fully understand himself why she had attacked him. There were times she had hurt him, but it had been by accident and never terribly serious. This time though… she could have killed him. He had already been brought back from the dead once, and he didn't think his luck would hold for a second trip. The thing that bothered him most was the look in her eyes when she had attacked him. It was a look of pure rage; a look that showed she did not know who he was and that anything getting between her and hurting Joanna was something to be destroyed. He knew that look well… knew that when he lost control it didn't matter what or who was standing in your way, you just needed to break things. Just what had this woman done that could provoke her so?

"Oh her?" Joanna said with clear disdain. "She's in a dungeon for assault, two counts I might add, and destruction of property."

"A dungeon?" Blackheart said quietly. Something had to be done about that. "I must see her."

"I don't think so," she said with a wicked smile. "You're going to stay right here and let me take care of you."

His strength was returning. Slowly… but it was coming back to him. "I doubt there is anything you can do to stop me. Now please, stand aside." He had recognized where he was now: his room at the inn. Miakoda must have carried him upstairs to be healed... but how had Joanna gotten her out of the room? He tested his feet, standing without any swaying this time and walked towards the door when she stepped in front of him to block his way. He sighed as he said, "I thank you for healing me, but would you please step aside?"

"What is it that you see in her? She just tried to kill both of us, and yet it seems you follow her like a lost puppy. She's got you twisted around her ugly finger doesn't she?" Joanna said in a huff, not budging from in front of the door.

"She has done more for me than you could possibly understand. She was the first real friend I had since changing, and I don't recall any good ones before that either. She has saved my life as many times as I have saved hers… she has even brought me back from the dead." Joanna's eyebrows rose at that last statement. "And above all else, she accepted me just as I was and always has. She is bound to me just as I am bound to her. I owe her my life and… more."

Joanna considered him for a moment before asking, "Change? What change?" Before giving him time to answer though, a wicked smile crossed her face. "I think you should stay and talk with me a while longer. If she really was bound to you and you had saved her life, she should properly show it, not throw you out a window for saving me. Which, I want to thank you for that. If you'll stay a while I'll show you some... proper gratitude." Her eyes changed after the last statement. Blackheart couldn't put his finger on what, exactly, had changed but their presence just seemed... different. More intense.

He began to wonder if she was slightly daft. How many times did he have to tell her no before she got the message? He moved to go around her and into the corridor… but his legs wouldn't move. Neither would his arms; he was standing perfectly still and couldn't move a muscle. That was when he noticed the smell. It was the smell of magic, but unlike anything he had encountered before. It was almost as if it had no scent at all, like a faint whisper of wind but at the same time it was overwhelming to him, like being caught in a tornado. He could almost feel the magic, slowly working its way into his brain. She was trying to control his mind.

As he struggled against the haze consuming him, Joanna stepped forward, putting a finger on his chest and walking in a circle around him, tracing some of his scars. "Yes, I think you'll stay here for a while with me." Her voice seemed to echo endlessly in his head. "Now, be a good boy and lay down for me."

Inside his head the words she spoke bounced around, repeating themselves endlessly. Blackheart's body trembled as he fought against her control. He could feel himself breaking out in a sweat; all of his muscles seemed to be aching, trying to do as she said while he tried to stop them, but the exhaustion he felt from the healing had weakened him. She was in front of him then, slowly pushing against his chest as if to reaffirm her will. To his agony, he started to slowly move back towards the bed. He was trapped in his mind, screaming defiance against Joanna while his body laid down of its own will. His muscles had quit aching, they were no longer responding to him in any way. The only thing he had left was his mind, and he could feel his grasp on reality slowly slipping away.

"That's much better." Joann said, nearly purring. She traced a slender finger along his chest before she bent over him and kissed his lips, and his mind screamed for a way out. This was only the second different kiss he had received, and it was vastly different than Kalara's. Kalara's kiss was one of passion, one that held him with his feelings for her. This kiss was that of a spider who had caught its prey. As consciousness seemed to be waning he saw himself... his two selves, and his answer to this situation.

It was almost the same thing he seen when he had transformed into a human: two bodies, both of them his, standing side by side. But something was different; something was wrong with the human body. It was hazy and partly transparent, as if it was just made of mist. His worgen body was different too, but it looked angry and he recognized the red haze of rage in its eyes. He didn't have much time though; the world around his inner self was becoming dim. He must have been on the verge of completely losing control of his mind. He slowly, painstakingly moved towards his snarling worgen form, embracing it and hoping it was a way out of this hell. When he touched his worgen form, what was left of his inner self was drowned out in red, and his consciousness finally winked out.

After he embraced his worgen, he expected the instant flash of pain as his body reconfigured itself to match the desired form, but the sense of sudden movement and rage was new to him. He couldn't see anything, but he could smell someone's fear, the kind of complete and absolute terror that came from expecting to die, and he felt his body move on its own. As his consciousness faded back in, he heard sobbing and when he regained his sight he finally understood why.

He was standing in front of Joanna, one of his hands closed over her throat and holding her against the wall high enough that they were face to face and her feet were dangling in the air, kicking futilely. His teeth were bared and he was snarling, inches from her face. He could smell the terror coming off of her and see the fear and tears in her eyes. It was a struggle to regain control. His every instinct told him to tear out her throat; to kill her for taking control of his mind, for trying to force herself upon him, and for whatever it was she had done to hurt Kalara. Slowly, he regained control and loosened his grip. She fell, gasping, to the floor, sobs wracking her body. When she looked up and saw Blackheart looming over her, the red tint still visible in his eyes, she pushed herself against the wall and held her hand out, as if that would stop him had he wanted to hurt her further.

In a quiet voice that was now deep and husky, Blackheart said, "This is who I am. This is what Kalara has accepted, and this is what she risked her soul to save. Right now I'm going to go see her, and you're coming with me." Blackheart stood and hoisted Joanna none too gently onto her feet with a squeak. He bent close to her face, and gently forced her to look into his eyes when she tried to turn away. "You are going to explain that you do not want her charged for anything… unless you would also like to explain to the guards why you tried to mind control me. I doubt anyone in the priesthood would like that very much either." He let her go and she turned away from him, trying to look anywhere except at the worgen towering over her. "Are we clear on this?" he said in a low growl.

Joanna could only nod, tears still streaming down her face.

Kalara was almost asleep when a noise woke her. Someone was coming down the hallway. After a few seconds the steps stopped in front of her door and, following the clank of the lock, the door opened silhouetting two night elves in the doorway.

"Come here." One of the night elves said in a commanding tone. Kalara jumped to obey, coming to stand before the two guards. They firmly pulled her out of the cell and turned her to face up the hallway. She felt a distinct twinge in her body as she passed through the anti magic barrier, and she could sense the elements again. That was at least one small relief. "Walk." One of them said, and walk she did.

Why was she being pulled out of the cell? Where was she going? She didn't know the answer to these questions, and the guards were not very forthcoming to either of them. At the end of the tunnel a set of stairs led up to an office with a few night elves milling about. It took her a second before she found Blackheart, once again human, standing there waiting for her. She stopped in her tracks when she recognized him, and her night elf guards had to push her forward. Her cheeks colored in shame at what she had done to him. She could see he wore a new shirt; his old one had been ripped to shreds. The two guards directed her towards him. The one that had spoken faced Blackheart and said, "Here she is. Keep her out of trouble," before turning back into the dungeon.

Blackheart looked down at her for a while, or she thought he was, she still couldn't look him in the eye. He led the way out into the night; it must have been a few hours since their ordeal at the inn. She walked a few paces behind him, and soon realized he was heading for the inn. As they got close she could see the damage she had caused being patched up. There were a couple workers covering the window with boards until a new window could be installed. Glass and splintered boards still lay all over the ground outside and below the window. When she looked past the window she almost tripped; there was a large bloodstain on the tree, as well as a streak going down it to the ground. That was Blackheart's blood and she had caused it. Her knees almost gave out then as she looked at Blackheart's back. She couldn't read anything of his emotions, he just walked on, through the inn and finally up to his room. All of the patrons, especially the innkeeper, eyed her warily but said nothing. Once she was inside his room, he closed the door behind her and sat down on the bed, steepling his fingers together and resting his arms on his knees. She could see the blood soaked shirt lying in the floor and had to lean against the wall for support.

Blackheart looked up at her and said in a flat voice, "You need to be sure and thank Relarus, Miakoda, and Tyria for paying for the damages. I'm not sure where Tyria came up with as much money as she has, but the child paid for the majority of it. As for getting you out of the dungeon without a trial, that was more… complicated." Blackheart could smell the shame rolling off of her. "I had a little... chat with Joanna that got her to drop her charges, finally, but convincing the guards not to hold you because I didn't want to hold charges was another matter entirely." Aside from a flare up of jealousy at the mention of Joanna, the shame continued to roll off of her.

Blackheart got up from the bed and walked to stand in front of her. Kalara was doing her best to avoid looking him in the eyes when he gently took her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him. "Why did you attack me?"

That was a question she didn't have an answer to. When it had happened, she had just reacted. She was so mad at Joanna that anything between her and the other draenei was something to be thrown to the side, or out a window, as the case may be. She kept staring up into his eyes, even as the tears formed but she couldn't find any words for an answer.

He still held her gaze as he said, "Do you know what the scariest part of being a worgen was?" Kalara shook her head slightly. "Feeling like I was living on borrowed time; feeling like that at any time I might lose control of myself to what I had become. The reason for that fear was that I might hurt someone close to me without being able to control myself… mainly you. It was a huge relief when I was able to turn into a human because, while I'm still a worgen as well, as a human I don't run that risk. I didn't think there was one for draenei either, but after tonight I'm not so sure. Whatever it is between you and Joanna that caused your reaction, you're going to have to learn to control it. As much as I hate to say it, if not for Joanna I would be in much worse shape than I am now. She's the one who healed me." Once again the jealousy and anger flared up. Making a point of sniffing the air beside her, Kalara knew of his ability to smell emotions, Blackheart said, "That's exactly what I'm talking about. You're going to have to learn to control that or the next time you might… kill me."

The tears flowed in earnest now. She had been so worried that she had actually killed him earlier, and now it was something that he was obviously worrying about. If there was a more horrible feeling than the one you cared for worrying if you would end up killing them, she didn't know. She could no longer look up at him, and broke out of his grasp as she cried, sliding down the wall to sit in the floor as she tried futilely to wipe her tears away. "I'm sorry," she whimpered out, repeating it time and again. There was no way for her to tell him how sorry she was that she had intentionally hurt him.

If there was one thing Blackheart couldn't stand, it was to see Kalara hurt, and seeing her cry like this tore him apart. He gently reached down and picked her up, hugging her to his chest as he went to the bed and sat down with her in his lap. She kept muttering over and over again that she was sorry. He shushed her, saying, "I don't want you to be sorry anymore." She looked up at him finally and he wiped the tears off of her cheeks. "Just try not to break so many ribs next time," he said with a smile. He could see the tears starting to well up again, and she would have cried all over again except that he bent down and kissed her lips. If that didn't stop her crying, nothing would.

To say Kalara was surprised was an understatement. She had been worried that Blackheart wouldn't want anything to do with her, and now here he was kissing her. She wasn't sure where this boon of luck had come from, giving her someone she could almost kill and still forgive her, but she wasn't about to question it… and besides kissing was much more enjoyable than wallowing in misery. So kiss him she did.

She remained in his lap for some time, but soon stood and pushed him down onto the bed slowly and climbed on top of him. She returned to those wonderful lips of his. Something in the back of her head said she was being too forward; that this was perhaps less than proper. When Blackheart's arms wrapped around her, enclosing her body and pulling her even closer to him, those thoughts were washed away. She trusted Blackheart more than anyone else, and she had no fear he would betray that trust.

For Blackheart, the sense of being so close to her was overpowering. Somehow every one of his senses was overwhelmed. His sense of smell was drowned in her scent, not only the natural scent of her skin but that of the pheromones she was producing. It seemed almost as if they were screaming his name. Her skin was soft to the touch of his hands, and her lips felt like they sent electricity through his body. Her kiss tasted amazing, more delicious than anything he could imagine. When he occasionally opened his eyes he saw her in a slightly different way than he had previously: she was absolutely beautiful. There was nothing in his mind that came close to what he saw before him. He thought he could have just stared at her for hours.

A substantial amount of time later, Kalara lay on his chest, tracing the contours of his muscles and old scars as she felt them. Somewhere in the process of kissing his lips she had gotten the urge to kiss his chest too. Blackheart must have gotten the same urge, and a slight flush came to her cheeks when she thought about his hands tracing random shapes on her bare back. The moonlit room should have hidden her blushing cheeks, but with Blackheart she doubted he would have a problem seeing in the pitch black. Another thought that made her blush fiercer was just how... amazing it was to lay with her bare skin touching his. The warmth they shared was the most comforting thing she had ever felt.

She was just trying to figure out how to get up gracefully when Blackheart, as if reading her mind, quietly said, "Stay with me tonight." If she wasn't blushing bright red before she definitely was now. She had slept near Blackheart before, but that had been out of necessity. But to stay with him when she had her own room was… well it wasn't proper. They weren't married, and she wasn't some sort of cheap harlot, even if she had known Blackheart for a while. Just the though of her staying with him... well it was pretty much exactly what she wanted to do.

As much of her as she was sure he had seen, she was still embarrassed now that their passion had slowed somewhat. "Close your eyes," she whispered. He laughed, a soft and deep chuckle, and kissed her forehead, but did as he was told while she climbed under the covers next to him. She was facing away from him when she felt him do the same and let out a satisfied sigh as he snuggled up behind her and wrapped one of his large arms around her.

"Tomorrow morning I'm going to show you the sunrise," he said softly to her.

"I know what the sunrise looks like," she said, suddenly drowsy.

"You've never truly seen it," he responded, "just as you had never truly smelled herbs." She turned her face to meet his and quirked an eyebrow at him. "Just trust me," he said before kissing her and laying his head down.

She did trust him, and there was no doubt in her mind that she would experience something new that sunrise. One thought kept nagging at her though. What was she to do about her sister? She now knew where she was… but she was with the enemy now. How could that be? The only course of action that seemed before her was to go and see for herself… which meant dragging Blackheart with her into more danger. She did not want to risk any danger for him, but she knew he didn't need to be coddled and could readily take care of himself. If there was any one person she wanted with her always it was Blackheart. That was a thought that comforted her against the sadness the news of her sister brought her.

She was trying to decide what to do next, where to go from there and how to go about getting all the way to Twilight Highlands but… Blackheart was just so warm. She could feel the heat radiating off of his chest and into her back, warming her to drowsiness and his arm that was wrapped around her kept her stomach and chest warm. Soon, the only thing she could think about was how comfortable she was, and the last thing she remembered before drifting off to sleep was hearing Blackheart's rhythmic breathing next to her.