Chapter V - What can we do?

Uhura should already be asleep. She had booked for the next day the translation of some pages of what seemed to be fragments of a journal preceding the first explorations of T'Khut, and even with her language skills that wouldn't be a simple task. Still, she couldn't sleep that night. That was why she was passing by Scotty's bedroom door for the fifth time, unable to decide if she should knock or not. Finally she decided it was too late to bother the engineer. She was already halfway down the hallway when the door was opened.

"I was wondering how long you'd be there before you decided to knock. Heeled boots on a wooden floor are not exactly discreet."

Uhura turned to him with a half-smile. "I didn't want to wake you. Can we talk?"

He made room for her to enter. She knew what she had to say, everyone was thinking the same thing, but they all lacked the courage to verbalize it.

She sat on the bed. "How are the repairs on the ship doing?" she asked to gain time. It was unusual for her to do so, but she was afraid for her former captain and for the first time in a long time stood lost.

"Honestly?" he replied sitting next to her. "I could have finished it all in a week, but I promised three months to the Admiral and I'll give it to him. He deserves at least that."

"Spock is not improving. I know that's what Sarek told us from the beginning, but somehow I hoped that something would happen. I can't stand to see the admiral suffer every time Spock doesn't answer."

"I know what you mean. Nothing of this seems true. After all that has happened, I think we started to believe that everything would always end well. But not this time. I don't think I can keep this up for long. The four of us need to talk about it, but perhaps we should leave when the three months are over."

Both were silent for long moments. There was some shame in that decision, as if they were abandoning their friends. But what could they do for them in Vulcan? Nothing could help Spock and Kirk now, and being there just made everyone unhappy. They were no less loyal because of it, but as Kirk declared to Sarek, it takes more to devote a lifetime to someone than to risk or even sacrifice that same life. The sacrifice is only a moment, but the routine is what crushes the determination and brings up an unknown selfishness. They would have died for Spock, but wouldn't be able to stay in Vulcan until the end of their days taking care of him. Maybe that was the difference between a friendship so strong that rivaled family ties and the love between soulmates. The difference between "I would give my life for you" and "I don't have a life without you".

A few meters away, two other people also faced a similar situation. Chekov had just found Sulu crying with a PADD in hand. The elder tried to disguise, but he didn't even need to ask to know the reason of the tears: Demora.

"This isn't the most dignifying situation that you've found me, right?" he said joking to lighten the mood, and was surprised when Chekov ignored his words and hugged him tightly.

"You will see her again."

He shouldn't even be surprised at how Chekov knew. Not after all this time. How many times he had tried to hide something from him only to find out that he knew his true intentions from the beginning? He couldn't help but think of the dates to drink legitimate not replicated tea that hid much more and were the beginning of everything all those years ago.

"I've lost six years of her life. She already hates me, and she'll never forgive me if I miss her adolescence too. I wanted to send her a message, but how can I do that when I'm a wanted criminal?" he finally confessed, knowing that there was no reason to hide what he was thinking.

"Of course she doesn't hate you, but she's a teenager. All teenagers fight with their parents, a thousand years in the future perhaps the Federation wouldn't exist anymore, but if humanity still exists, teens will still rebel. Did you know that teenage rebellion was invented in Russia?"

Sulu couldn't keep a laugh when hearing the classic joke. At this point Chekov had claimed that everything was created in Russia, even absurd things like the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, Romulan ale and Klingon blood wine. Just a few weeks ago he was saying to a group of exasperated Vulcans that the Surak's philosophy was written by an old lady who lived in a village near Moscow. Of course it was just a joke, but it was part of his charm.

"When the ship is ready, I'll return to Earth. What is the worst that can happen? I can lose my commission and spend a couple of years in a penal colony? I could still return before Demora is old enough to enter Starfleet Academy." he said at once, before stopping for a moment and declaring looking into his eyes "And you, what are you going to do?" he knew the answer he wanted, but didn't dare to ask for it.

Chekov sighed, buying time despite knowing the answer very well. He hid all the pain that lay behind his answer and said jokingly "What would Demora do without having someone to run to complaining and asking for help when you're being a tyrant?".

Sleeping in his room, Kirk had no idea that while he kept his hopes as strong as they were in the first day, his friends had given up. The moment of confrontation had not yet come, but when it came, all the decisions would have already been made. And he was the only one who was still willing to wait for a miracle that would most likely never come.

Ch'kariya is a small Vulcan mammal, similar to a weasel, but with pale skin and short hair. 15 years before this story, Amanda suspected that her garden was being destroyed by them and set traps to capture them.