Derek and Meredith walked down the corridor. Meredith had been quiet from the time she had left Richards office. It was frustrating Derek.

"Look Mer, I really want you to start talking to Me." he told her as he stopped them in the middle of the corridor.

"Der" Meredith sighed.

"No Mer. You're my fiancé and the love of my life. You need to open up to me. I may not understand what you're going through, but I need to know. I need to know so I can be there for you and support you." Derek told her as he took hold of her hands.

Meredith searched his eyes and all she could see is love. Meredith finally nodded. "Tonight"

"That's all I ask" he sighed as he pulled her into a hug. "I know Addie is there for Mark, and she will be in there for him when he talks to your mother. If you want me in there, I will be."

Meredith looked at Derek. "This is something Lex and I need to do together." she told him. "But you know what, I'm going to talk to you about it at lunch, and maybe we could talk together with her a little later."

"Ok, if that's what you're going to offer, that will do for now." he replied as he pulled her into his arms. "I love you, don't forget it."

Meredith smiled against his chest. She took the chance to breathe him in. "Love you too Der."

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

Meredith needed to go in and check in Ellis, so she figured it was as good as time as any for Alex and her to have a chat with her.



Meredith quickly peaked in and saw that only her Dad was in there. She turned and went and paged Alex.

Meredith waited outside the room until he arrived.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Alex asked her.

Meredith nodded. "There is so much we need to know."

The pair then proceeded to enter.

"Hey Daddy" Meredith smiled before rubbing her chest.

"Mer" he smiled.

"Dad" Alex nodded.

"Mer?" Richard looked at her curiously. She was still rubbing her chest.

"It's ok dad, just a little saw after the panic attack." she explained.

"Did you take your Meds this morning?" he asked concerned.

"Yes Derek forced them down my throat, along with a good strong breakfast." she smiled.

He just raised his eyebrows.

"I promise I'm ok." she told him as she dropped her hand from her 

chest.

Neither Alex or Meredith had yet acknowledged Ellis, who sat back and watched the exchange carefully.

"You still have heart problems?" Ellis asked concerned.

Meredith just stared at her. She really didn't want to discuss the state of her heart or anything else about her.

Sensing this, Ellis shifted uncomfortably.

"We had a scare the other night because Meredith skipped her meds for a few days due to morning sickness." Richard explained.

"Dad" Meredith snapped.

"Meredith Jane, Your mother asked a question. You should answer it." he reprimanded her.

"Dad, I think this is one thing Mer didn't want to discuss with her." Alex spoke up.

"And why not?" Richard asked.

"Because that's the reason she abandoned us." Alex told him.

Ellis sat back in bed and Meredith started recording her stats.



Ellis looked between her two children. "You both seemed to survive without Me." she noted.

Meredith stiffened.

"You have no idea what we've been through, what we've overcome." Alex bit.

"Why don't you tell me?" Ellis encouraged.

"Excuse me, but" Alex began

"Alexander, sit down." Richard cut in.

"Ellis, I think you need to talk about yourself before you can expect them to open up." Richard informed her.

Meredith replaced the chat and went and sat down in the furthest corner of the room.

Ellis tracked her movements, still shocked that she was still seeing her daughter alive.

"Ok, so I have been moving between third world countries with the red cross as a surgeon. I have also ventured to IRAQ and AFGHANISTAN. That's what I have been doing for 17 years. I couldn't help Meredith so I left to help those that I could." Ellis summarised.

"You abandoned us." Alex snapped.


"You survived." Ellis said quietly.

"Barely" Meredith muttered.

"What?" Ellis asked.

"Did you not think this family would fall apart?" Alex asked, "You were our mother. Do you know what it was like for us? Of course not, you ran away." Alex vented.

Richard stood and moved to where Alec was standing. Richard rested a hand on Alex's shoulder effectively calming him down.

"Dad, I can't do this." Alex told him. "I'm sorry Mer." he apologised before leaving.

"He's very angry." Ellis commented.

"What do you expect Ellis. Both boys are. You have no idea of the damage you caused when you left." Richard replied gruffly.

"Why won't people tell me them. Yell, scream, cry." she stated.

"Seriously, if they unravelled for you, they wouldn't be able to mend. I have two very angry boys and one very insecure little girl. How about I tell you what you want to know since you're going to answer them so nonchalantly." he told her.


Ellis looked at him. "There my children" she argued.

"You forfeited the right to be there mother when you left not to be seen for 17 years." Richard snapped.

"Meredith come talk to me." Ellis coaxed, ignoring Richards frustrated look.

Meredith stood and moved to Ellis's bedside.

"You want to know about me?" Meredith asked.

Ellis nodded.

"I...I... almost killed myself because of you. I put Dad and Lex through hell and they had to drag Mark home from college to fix me. I have issues. I love Derek and am engaged to him. Am pregnant with his child. Yet I have trust issues and a fear that he might leave me. All my issues, my insecurities, are because of you. I survived despite your lack of faith and your abandonment. I don't have a mother. She died when I was 10. Deal with it." she said sadly. She then turned and gave her dad a hug. "I've got to go. I can't be here right now. I need to breathe."

Meredith reached the door and turned back to look at her mother. "I'm sorry if you didn't want to hear that but I am not going to let you feel good from thinking that we did alright without you, because all we did was survive. Dad pulled us from the wreckage of our broken home. 

You don't get to feel better about yourself." With that, she wiped the tears off her face and left.

Ellis put her head in her hands... Meredith's words echoing through her head.

"What did I do? What did I do?"