Hi there all! Still on holiday and although I'm having a lovely time, not much internet! I'm so glad you are enjoying it and this is going to continue for the time being as totally Smacked!

Returning to the staffroom Stella found a hot cup of almost overpoweringly strong tea and a packet of biscuits sitting on the coffee table in front of the sofa on which Mac was sitting on. "I found these in the cupboard." He said with a cheeky smile, gesturing at the biscuits.

"See why doesn't your office have these luxuries?" She flopped down on the sofa next to Mac and picked up her tea.

"You feeling better?"

"Yeah, I'm all right."

"You sound tired Mac."

"I am."

"You know we're back on shift at 6AM, it's 2AM now."

"I guess we're staying here tonight then, sorry."

"Don't be stupid, its not your fault that crazy guy attacked us, as soon as Flack has the confession from his brother he's going down, he wont bother us again."

"I'm not sure it's going to be that simple Stel."

"Its textbook stuff Mac, his brother will confess and have no choice but to drop him in it then we can arrest the jerk and put him away."

"Yeah, I hope so." Mac muttered, clearly not that convinced, " I was really worried about you Stel."

"Don't be," Stella said gently, "I'm a big girl, I can look after myself."

"I know you can, I just hate to think of you in danger." Stella leaned into Mac and looked in his eyes and said, "I'm fine Mac, besides if I do get in trouble, I'll just call you to kick the guys ass."

Mac smiled and said, "And I always will. I just wish I'd kicked the ass of that Bastard Frankie before he had hurt you."

"You weren't to know, even I didn't realize Frankie was a psycho."

"You know when I saw what he did to you Stel, I wished that I had killed him. I wished that I had caused him the pain he cause you, I should have been there."

"Mac it was a long time a go, I couldn't have gotten through it without you."

Putting his arm around Stella he said to her, "we're there for each other, it's what we do." Stella smiled back and leaned into him. There was a moment of silence which Stella broke, "You know after Frankie, I didn't think I could ever trust another man."

"It's understandable Stel, you need to build up someone's trust."

"We've seen some pretty horrendous stuff and what people can do to each other and you'd think it would make us scared all the time, but it doesn't because we don't let it. But when this one crazy guy I'm seeing beats me up, I still am scared. God that's pathetic."

"No it's not. You need to be with someone someone who you trust, who knows you inside out and knows how to treat you. You need someone who will look after you, someone like..." Mac trailed off and if they had have looked at each other they would have found both had a slight flush on their cheeks, "anyway," Mac sad quickly, "you don't have to worry about that right now, you'll find the right person, not every guy out there is a Frankie."

"I know," Stella said quietly and she snuggled into him absent mindedly. There was another moment of comfortable silence and although both were wide awake, the deserted lab and dim lighting highlighted that they were alone.

"Can I tell you something Stel?" Mac asked, so quietly that Stella had to strain to hear him. She shuffled around so she was facing him and placed their empty mugs down before saying, "You know you can tell me anything Mac." As she looked at him she noticed his body had tensed and there was a look in his eyes, although Stella couldn't quite put her finger on it she had seen that look before.

"I think I know why I haven't been sleeping." Mac stopped and looked down as if unsure whether to continue. Stella reached into his lap where his hands sat and held one in her own reassuringly. "Next month would have been mine and Claire's 20th wedding anniversary."

"I'm sorry Mac." Stella said quietly.

"It's not like before though," Mac said quickly, "I've excepted what's happened and I've stopped dwelling on it, but these last few weeks I can't stop thinking about it. Ever since we got married I swore I would make things special for her. For our 10th I took her to Venice for a week, it was amazing. I always said I would make our 20th even more special and I'd pretty much had it mapped out by the time we hit out 12th. I was going to take her from Paris to Rome on the Orient Express, she'd always wanted to do that, it was like her dream. Every time she mentioned it I'd dismiss it or say it was too expensive so it would be a huge surprise when I arranged it," he looked away briefly and Stella squeezed his hand again, "when she died I kept thinking, I never got to take her, I never got to show her that I did listen and I did love her more than anything and would do anything to make her happy. I've excepted it and got on with life now, but these last few weeks, that's all I can think about and I know Claire has been gone over 6 years now but I can't shake it off right now." Mac looked down again, pain in his tired eyes, but there was a sense of relief that he had told someone.

"Claire knew how much you loved her, she knew you loved her more than anyone else in the world Mac, you have to remember that. Claire was a wonderful woman and I'm so sorry she was taken from you, but no matter what happened, she died knowing someone loved her and you have to keep hold of that."

Both had tears in their eyes but Mac quickly blinked them back and said quickly, "Thanks Stel, it just seems to have hit me harder than I thought."

"You'll get through this thought Mac, I know you will."

"I know," Mac said and he wrapped his arms around Stella who rested her head on Mac's shoulder as she put her arms around his neck, returning the hug they both needed. As Mac gently let go he said, "I don;t know what I would do without you Stel, you really are the best friend I've ever had."

"Don't get soppy." Stella said with a smirk but then touched his cheek and said, "I can safely say the feeling is one hundred percent mutual. I've lost count of the number of times you've been there for me and like you said, not every guy out there is a Frankie and I'm not going to let him beat me."

"Mac's right, not ever guy out there is a sleazy violent thug. I'll find someone, someone who makes me happy, someone who I trust and I know as well as they know me. I'm not going to let a jerk like Frankie win, I can be happy with another guy, and I think I know who I'd like that other guy to be."

"And you know Mac," Stella said, her previous determined tone replaced with a softer one, "Claire knew how much you loved her, hold onto the good times you had together."

"I always said to her if something happened to me, I didn't want her to sit around and mope. I wanted her to find someone else to be with and make the most of the rest of her life." he stopped and looked away and Stella saw something flash in his eyes, as if the mask he wore slipped slightly to reveal his true features. As quick as it had gone it returned as Mac continued, "I think she would have wanted the same for me." He turned to Stella, almost looking for reassurance in his statement that resembled a question. Stella squeezed his hand and said, "I know she would have."

"Stella's right, I know Claire would have wanted the same for me. I couldn't bare to think of her being unhappy if I wasn't around and I know she loved me as much as I loved her and wouldn't have wanted me to be unhappy either. I'll never stop loving Claire, but I can fall in love with someone else, and I think it's already happened."

Stella yawned quietly and Mac said, "We should try and get some sleep."

"Yeah," Stella agreed and she stood up and pushed the large footstool that rested in front of the arm chair in front of them, following her lead, Mac picked up the folded throw blanket on the back of the sofa and unfolded it. Stella kicked off her shoes and took of her jewellery and turned the little lamp off. The light it had permitted was minimal but it darkened the room to almost blackness. Stella sat in the middle of the sofa and tapped the spot next to her on the end of the sofa and Mac sat down on it.

"You can untuck your shirt you know." Stella said, "you've taken your shoes off so you might as well be totally crazy."

Mac laughed and said, "You're right." and untucked his shirt and put his feet on the stool. Stella snuggled up to him and he put an arm firmly around her shoulder as he threw the blanket over them, making sure Stella was fully covered before adjusting his own half. Stella's eyes closed, but she wasn't asleep and she said quietly, "night Mac." Tightening his arm around her he replied, "night Stel." Mac closed his own eyes but his body was still stiff, he doubted he would sleep. Suddenly he felt Stella's hand find his and hold it. He looked at her to see her curled up besides him, her legs almost underneath her and her feet just touching the stool. Her arm was across her body, her hand in Mac's and she was turned in to him, resting her body against his. He didn't think she was asleep yet, her breathing wasn't heavy enough, but he felt his own body relax out of its routine tense form. Neither of them were asleep but both were at ease. No one was there but them and there was no sound but their breathing and heartbeats, which seemed to be beating in time with one another as they lay there, gradually drifting into to a much needed sleep.