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This chapter is... ANGSTY! Be warned.

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"Everything is wrong Bo.." Kenzi murmured, lifting her watery eyes to Bo's confused and utterly worried ones.

"Kenzi?" Bo prompted with icy dread filling her gut.

"I.. Um, I need a moment.." Kenzi croaked trying keep from breaking down. She knew Bo would be in pieces soon. Or in denial. Or both. Kenzi had been there herself not so long ago. "Just a.. little moment."

"Okay." Bo whispered as Kenzi laced their fingers together.

"Come sit with me Bobo." Kenzi tugged the succubus with her towards the couch.

They sat there silently holding hands. Bo kept her eyes locked on Kenzi, who was looking down unseeing it seemed. Her friend was rarely this distraught. Images of Hale flashed through Bo's mind at the thought. Bo knew Kenzi was still dealing with the loss of Hale.

She idly pondered, if one could ever get over the loss of a loved one. Loss of a lover. At the word lover, her mind went to Lauren and she felt a painful tug in her chest. She had treated the blond so badly. She had treated everyone badly. Now Lauren was moving away, moving on and made it very clear to Bo to not come looking for her. She would miss the blond terribly, but she had decided to respect Lauren's wishes and leave her alone. At least the succubus would try. Maybe sometime later she could find Lauren and make things right. Tell her how sorry she is. Apologize.

Bo was brought out of her reverie, when she heard Kenzi clear her throat. Kenzi slowly turned to face Bo, meeting the troubled brown eyes staring at her. She let her eyes drop briefly to their joined hands before lifting her watery gaze back up.

"Kenzi, you're freaking me out.." Bo said softly. "Has something happened?"

"There was an accident.." Kenzi started, keeping her eyes connected with Bo's. Just tell her, she sighed inwardly. Say it straight. "Lauren is dead." She got out with a strained whisper.

"What?" Bo breathed with an unreadable expression, until a scowl appeared on her face. "Why are you saying that?"

"Bo, Lauren is dead.. She's gone." Kenzi said softly still clutching Bo's hand.

"No. I would know. I would feel it." Bo swallowed, her eyes darting on her friend's sorrowful face.

"I'm sorry, but Lauren's gone." Kenzi squeezed Bo's hand gently, while peering into her eyes.

"She's not! Stop it! Stop saying that!" Bo snapped angrily. "Lauren's not dead. Who told you Lauren died? Who?!" Bo roared getting up off the couch.

"Tamsin. She called to tell.."

"Tamsin?" Bo snarled. "She's lying! She's lying Kenzi!" Bo ranted with tears falling on her cheeks. "I would know, if.. I would know!"

"Bo.. Listen to me.." Kenzi sighed sadly. She knew the Valkyrie wouldn't lie about something like this. Not to her. Not to anyone. "She's not lying."

"She is!" The succubus screeched sounding desperate and both women fell silent. Only Bo's ragged breathing filled the air.

"Lauren is.. at the morgue in the hospital.. Do you want to go see her?" Kenzi asked softly after a while. "Bo?"

"I.." Bo sobbed. "I need to see her. This is not.. She's okay. I know she is." She said quietly.

"I'm so sorry Bo.." Kenzi murmured and got up and pulled Bo into a tight hug. "Lauren.. She is not okay Bo. She was in a car accident last night. She died Bo. Lauren died." She said as calmly as she could.

Bo fell quiet again, letting her head fall down and sobbed against Kenzi's shoulder. They stayed like that, clinging to each other, for a long time.

"She's not dead." Bo suddenly muttered resolutely, startling Kenzi. "It's a mistake, you'll see." She said untangling herself from Kenzi's embrace.

"Bo.."

"Lauren is not dead. She can't be.." Bo whimpered, before storming out with Kenzi running after her.

"Wait! I'll drive." Kenzi yelled after her. She couldn't let Bo go without her. Once the succubus would see Lauren and realize she's.. gone, Bo was sure to be in pieces. Kenzi had no doubts about that. She needed to be there for her friend, her sister.

.

Bo had stayed somber and quiet during the ride to the hospital. She had only asked, if Kenzi really thought Lauren was dead. Lauren is dead, Kenzi had repeated softly. Bo had nodded and turned her head to peer out the side window. Kenzi knew she was silently crying. When they arrived, Bo had carelessly wiped her cheeks and hesitantly gotten out of the car. Now the two of them were standing in the hospital lobby holding hands.

"Here's Tamsin. Are you ready Bo?" Kenzi squeezed her friend's hand gently.

"No.." Bo breathed desperately. All the fight and anger had left her, leaving only anguish and fear. Maybe this was all real and Lauren was really.. gone. Gone forever, Bo thought heartbroken.

"I.. I'm sorry for your loss." The valkyrie said to Bo, who just nodded automatically. "This way." Tamsin gestured solemnly.

.

Evony was waiting for them in front of the morgue. She motioned for Tamsin to wait further in the dreary hallway.

"I'm sorry Bo. I know you cared for her." Evony said softly as she opened the thick steel door behind her. She acknowledged Kenzi with a little nod.

"I love her." Bo corrected, her haunted eyes latching on the slowly opening door.

"Yes." Evony agreed. "The human body is so very frail. She didn't suffer. She didn't feel any pain Bo." Evony tried to.. What - console the succubus? She shook her head slightly.

"She's.. in here." Evony went in, but Bo stood frozen just outside the room.

"Bo come.. say goodbye." Kenzi murmured and tugged Bo a little to get her moving.

Bo trailed after Kenzi in a haze. Once inside the chilly room, she breathed out feeling unreal. Everything was unreal. Her eyes were glued to the steel gurney in the middle of the room. A white sheet was covering the body laying on there, but the head was left visible. Bo could see blond hair falling on the gurney. Bo released her grip on Kenzi's hand and slowly went closer.

"Gods.. It's really her.." A heart wrenching wail escaped her lips as her gaze fell upon the familiar features of the woman she loved desperately. "No. Lauren... No." She croaked, carefully placing her palm on Lauren's cheek. "it can't be.."

"I... I'll save you." Bo sobbed and latched her lips on Lauren's, prying her mouth open and pushing chi into the blond. "I can't live in a world without you.. I'll save you!" She promised, her warm tears falling on Lauren's face.

Evony glanced at Rigory, who was standing quietly in the far corner. Evony gave him a questioning look and he shook his head slightly. The Morrigan nodded and turned her eyes back on the shattered succubus. She wondered, if she was doing the right thing or not. Bu there was no going back now. So no regrets. It is for the best, she concluded.

"Babe.. Please! Please wake up!" Bo begged raggedly.

Kenzi was standing further away silently crying for Lauren. Crying for Bo. She knew Bo's world had just come grumbling down. Kenzi vowed to be there for her friend.

"Babe, please.. Please don't leave me." The succubus cried and climbed next to Lauren on the gurney. She buried her face in the blonds neck, ghosting her lips on the cool skin.

"She looks like she's sleeping.. But she's so cold." Bo whispered against Lauren's skin between sobs, before lifting her head and glancing at Kenzi. "Kenz, why is she so cold?" The succubus asked sounding like a frightened child.

"Bo, I.."

"Why can't I bring her back?" Bo croaked in anguish and buried her face back in the crook of Lauren's neck without waiting for an answer from Kenzi.

"Do you want to be alone with her for a moment?" Evony asked sincerely. "I.. I must insist that Rigory stays, but I can leave." She added and interpreted Bo's quiet sniffles to mean she agreed.

"I'll be right outside Bo." Kenzi sniffled as she and the Morrigan exited the room. "Okay?"

Bo stayed curled up tightly against Lauren. Whispering her apologies, her regrets, her love and devotion to her lost love. Once in while begging Lauren to come back. To stay. To come back and stay, but the blond stayed silent. Unmoving. Lifeless.

.

"I should have stopped her from driving away last night." Bo uttered hoarsely as soon as Kenzi came back into the room. Bo's fingers were trailing on Lauren's face reverently. Like she was trying to memorize her. And she was. She was trying to memorize everything.

"Bo, this wasn't your fault." Kenzi said in a gentle tone.

"But in a way it was. She died, because she needed to get away from me.."

"That's not true Bo. It was an accident." Kenzi sighed sadly. "We should go Bo. I'm sorry."

"I can't leave her here.." Bo whispered, more tears spilling from her weary eyes.

"Bo. Come now." Kenzi ushered her softly.

"No." Bo sobbed and clung onto Lauren's frame, refusing to budge. "I can't."

"Bo.. Please." Kenzi pleaded gently, glancing at the Morrigan.

"Kenzi.. Please don't make me go."

.

Kenzi was just coming back to the kitchen after placing a tray of food behind Bo's door, when she heard a knock on the front door. It had been a week since she practically had had to drag the destroyed succubus from Hotpa.. Lauren's side. Kenzi sighed heavily and headed to the front door.

"Dyson. You really shouldn't have come."

"I'm here as a friend Kenzi. How is she?" Dyson asked sounding concerned.

"She's hurting. And she's blaming herself for what happened.."

"Maybe, if I.."

"No. No Dyson. I know you mean well, but you have to leave her be." Kenzi shook her head. "She's grieving for her lost love. She's been holed up in her room for a week now. Barely talks. Even to me."

"I was sorry to hear about Lauren. We always didn't see I to I, but I.. I learned to respect her. Such a loss." Dyson sighed. "I understand Bo's grieving, but maybe we should get her out and.."

"Bo needs time. She'll come out, when she's ready." Kenzi stated firmly, before changing the subject. "You and Tamsin still trying to.. connect? Have you seen her? Because I've tried to get a hold of.."

"I wanted to get to know her better, but she's disappeared. Maybe she's mad at me for going back to Bo to heal her.. And.. I have no idea where she is." Dyson rubbed his face absentmindedly.

"That's strange. Where could she have gone without telling anyone.. Without telling me." Kenzi breathed.

"Yeah."

"Go home Dyson. I'll look out for Bo."

"Okay. But if you need anything.." Dyson relented.

"Thank you." Kenzi said and closed the door.

.

"Hey Bobo." Kenzi greeted trying not to sound too excited to see Bo venture out of her room. Finally. It took way over a week, almost two, but here Bo was hovering beside the sofa.

"Kenz." Bo's voice was hoarse from crying and not talking to anyone in ages.

"Sit." Kenzi said with a small smile. "Have some rum." She added and gave Bo a glass filled with clear liquid.

"I don't even like rum." Bo said as she sipped the drink carefully at first, but then emptied the glass with one gulp. It burned painfully on the way down. Sweet pain. It made her realize, that she was alive. And in pain. Heartbroken. Wishing to die too. She filled her glass as they sat there quietly.

"I was so worried for her you know?" Bo said suddenly, after her glass was empty again. She motioned for Kenzi to fill her up.

"Hmm?" Kenzi looked at Bo questioningly, while she poured the alcohol in Bo's glass.

"Did you know she turned Evony into a human?" Bo let out a small gloomy laugh and continued preventing Kenzi from answering. "Evony is fae again, but.. Lauren knew how to turn faes human! If that had gotten out.. Many people would have wanted her dead." She shuddered.

"Good thing, she got friendly with the Morrigan then. She must have protected Lauren despite everything." Kenzi noted.

"What do you mean friendly?" Bo asked, while filling her glass again.

"They seemed like friends to me." Kenzi just shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm glad she had someone, when.. I was floundering." Bo let out a dark laugh. Floundering, that sounded so.. understating.

"What happened with you and Lauren? You know, when I died? I thought you two were heading for love once again. You made the apocalypse wait while you saved your girl." Kenzi chuckled a little.

"You died.. And I.. pushed Lauren away."

"Why would you do that?"

"You were gone and I was a mess. Lauren tried to be there.. For me, but I shut her out. Somehow I just wanted her away from me.. To keep her safe. People around me - they die. And I missed you.." Bo choked out. "I got drunk regularly. Got into senseless fights every other night. And.. I forced poor Dyson to heal me.. Destroying anything he had going on with Tamsin.. It didn't mean anything to me. It was just..What it was. The worst was that Lauren found out about me and Dyson. She didn't say anything, but I could tell she was.. Disappointed in me. And I knew then, I wasn't any good for her. I was desperately trying to forget her.. Stupid huh? I'm a horrible person." She rambled drunkenly.

"Bo.." Kenzi sighed sadly.

"I am! She shouldn't have ever loved me.. I didn't want her to get.. killed because of me. So I pushed her away." Bo chuckled darkly. "And now she's dead anyway.. I broke her heart for nothing."

"I really wish, you would have let her be there for you." Kenzi sighed rubbing Bo's arms, before pulling the succubus into a hug. "Please let me be here for you now. Okay?"

"Okay. Don't let me fall apart, Kenzi." Bo sobbed, leaning on her friend.

"I won't." Kenzi promised.

.

"Hey. How are you feeling? Well enough to have lunch with me? Out on the town I mean?" Kenzi prodded hesitantly. Bo had been house bound for two weeks, but seemed to get gradually a little better. There were better days among the bad ones.

"Yeah. We could try." Bo muttered quietly.

"I thought you threw that away?" Kenzi said, noting the necklace on Bo. "You know, when you were trying to.. forget Lauren and push her away."

"I just said I did.. I could never throw this away." Bo gave a sad smile. "And now it's the only thing I have of her."

"It's devastating to see you heartbroken Bo."

"My heart is not broken Kenzi." Bo denied softly. "It's in shatters."

"In time it will hurt a little less."

"Yeah.." Bo breathed, her eyes brimming with tears, following the ridges and contours of the pendant on her necklace.

.

Bo sat down on the soft bright green grass next to a simple headstone. She had placed a single white rose in front of it. She came here regularly, even though she knew Lauren wasn't really buried here. The Morrigan had told her a few days after Lauren died, that she was released to her parents. Parents, who had already buried her once before. Bo couldn't even imagine their pain.

"Hey. I'm here. Again. I can't believe it's been almost two years since you died.." Bo began. " 19 months to be exact.. Well, that not two years is it. More like a year and a half." Her eyes tracked the numbers carved on the stone.

"I'm doing better, you know. I have been talking to someone.. A therapist. I know – Me? Weird right?" Bo chuckled softly. "It has helped me. A lot. And Kenzi. She's been my rock. I still have some.. bad days.. But I'm doing better."

"I still miss you so much.." She sighed quietly.

Bo just sat there reminiscing, saying a few words once in a while. After an hour, she got up, said her goodbyes and headed towards the exit.

"All good?" Kenzi asked as she stood up from the little bench under the shade of a big lush maple tree.

"Yeah." Bo nodded. "I still miss her."

"I know. Me too." Kenzi patted Bo on her back. "So, I'm going to Montreal tomorrow. You sure, you don't want to come? I know it's a boring computer exhibit.. for you." She smirked.

"I'll pass." Bo snorted.

"Suit yourself. You don't know what you're missing." Kenzi grinned.

.

Thanks for reading :)

A/N Note the 'little' time jump there.

A/N I'm keeping these chapters shortish. Sorry about that. But this way I may be able to update more frequently. Maybe even once a week, but no promises!