Juushiro sipped his tea as the meeting progressed.

This was often the most difficult, acrimonious meeting of the year. Because this was the time that every Division was fighting to get the very cream of the crop from the Academy's graduating class. The accelerated class in particular was in high demand. And after all the deaths in the winter war and the events leading up to it, they needed all the recruits they could get.

That was what made it so amusing when a certain name came up. Especially because some people had heard of him, but not heard of everything.

"Why the fuck don't you want him? You were whining about your Division really fucking hard for that other one!" Kenpachi asked Hitsugaya, who just glared at him. "Isn't this the guy who rescued Ukitake? Does he have some kind of horrible disease or something?" So far only Juushiro had offered to take him and that was downright odd, for someone like this. Kenpachi was interested but wary of the strange behavior.

"He is openly homosexual." Soi Fon said, her tone completely neutral. Juushiro wasn't too surprised. He would never dare say it aloud but he'd suspected her hero worship of Yoruichi had some element of sexual attraction. Zaraki stared at her for a moment before sitting back and rubbing the scar on his cheek.

"Ah, what a pain in the ass." He said and Shunsui suddenly laughed. Everyone looked at him as he tried to explain.

"Men with men… pain in the ass… heh…" He said and Zaraki blinked before laughing at the rather crude joke. Juushiro couldn't help but smile. That was so like Shunsui. "But he will be quite a pain in the ass for discipline. You're sure you're up for it, Juu?" He said, concerned, and Juushiro nodded.

"Someone has to take him and I want to help him. He saved my life." He said firmly and there were nods around the table. His desire was quite understandable. "Rukia has agreed to take him under her wing. I'm hopeful that things will work out well." There was some hope, with his fukutaichou on board.

"I am sure you will be successful. Now, about the next…" Yamamoto said. His Division needed recruits too, but he wasn't going to take Lupe. Going on, Juushiro concentrated on getting the best recruits he could.

He would need them, for the future.

Starrk stood with his graduating class, tall and proud.

He'd done it. He'd completed his training, earning very high marks in every category on his final examinations. He was among the top of his class, if not the very top. After today, he would embark on his career as an official shinigami.

Names were called out and the cadets no more were given the emblems of their new Divisions. Starrk smiled as his name was called and he walked forward confidently to receive the emblem of the Thirteenth Division. He'd known that was coming. Juushiro had told him a week ago that it had been agreed that he would be joining his Division.

Starrk was really quite eager to see his new home. He expected it would not be too much different from his place at the Academy. It was good he thought so, because he was right. In the Division barracks he was given a small room, private but not at all luxurious. That was fine, although as the Primera Espada, Starrk had enjoyed a large suite of rooms. It had never meant much to him though. Setting in his few personal belongings he secured the door with a kido lock. He'd realized that was necessary after he'd tried to dress in the morning to find that someone had fouled all his clothing. Starrk had no idea if someone would do such a thing here but he wasn't going to take chances.

Again, the showers and baths were communal. Starrk wasn't surprised although he was disappointed. He would likely need to bathe at irregular hours. The mess hall was large and the food smelled good, although it wasn't fancy. Starrk wondered if he would be able to afford the occasional meal out now. The pay was low but the lodging and food were free.

"Lupe-san?" Turning in surprise, he saw a very petite young woman with black hair and violet eyes. She was vaguely familiar to him and it took him a moment, but he finally placed her. She was the shinigami who had killed Aaroniero. He'd considered doing something about that at the time, but finally decided that he'd never liked the odd Novena Espada anyway. However, if it was the same woman that meant…

"Kuchiki fukutaichou?" He hazarded a guess and she smiled at him. There was something determined about it, as if she was putting in a special effort to be friendly. He bowed to her politely before speaking again. "I'm pleased to meet you."

"And I'm pleased to meet you. Would you care to join me?" She offered and Lupe hesitated. He knew the tables were segregated by rank. That was where the officers sat.

"If it will not cause offense." He offered and her smile seemed to warm a little.

"Of course not! You saved Ukitake taichou's life. We all care for him very much." She said firmly and Lupe smiled before nodding. "Please, this way." She led him to his new spot in the mess hall and Lupe was aware of some less than admiring gazes on his back. But there was nothing he could do if they chose to hate him for what he was, or even just for his skill and good fortune.

Rukia seemed friendly, if far above him. But then, so were Juushiro and Shunsui. He would see what friends he could make.

"Mmm, that was wonderful." Starrk opened his eyes with a smile as a warm hand ran over his chest, finding the faint scar there. Shunsui traced the mark and Starrk idly wondered what the man would think if he knew that was the wound he'd delivered himself, the one that should have killed him. "This must have been a bad wound. What caused it?" He asked and Starrk couldn't help but laugh.

"Nothing important." He said firmly and Shunsui shrugged, dropping it. He was looking lazy and content, languid in the aftermath of his pleasure. Juushiro was behind him, dozing lightly. Tonight had just been normal sex, no special toys or games and they'd all loved it. "Mmm… did you know that if you properly stretch and lube someone they can take two at once?" Starrk said to change the subject and also to amuse his mate. Sure enough, Shunsui stared at him and Juushiro opened his eyes, surprised. "And some people can take three but I think they're insane." He said with a smile. That had been Barragan and his fraccion again… it had been interesting to participate in but he had not been the one taking it, thankfully. Ggio had seemed to enjoy it.

"Three? …How would that even work?" Shunsui wondered as Juushiro snuggled against his shoulder. "What else do you know, Lupe?" He asked teasingly and Starrk smiled.

"Did you know if you choke someone before their orgasm, it will heighten the pleasure?" He said but the reaction was absolutely nothing he'd expected. Horror flashed across Shunsui's face, followed by anguish. Starrk could feel the man abruptly tense and his eyes went wide in surprise. "Shunsui?" He said as Juushiro lifted his head, also sensing the terrible tension in their lover. Shunsui rested his face in a hand, breathing heavily as his shoulders trembled. "Oh kami, Shunsui, I'm sorry…" This had to have something to do with his problems about being penetrated and tied up. Who had strangled him? Starrk gently caressed Shunsui's face as Juushiro whispered in his ear, gentle, reassuring words.

"It's… not your fault…" He finally said, his voice thick with held back emotion. "I'm sorry… I just…" A heavy, anguished sob wracked his frame and Starrk crooned softly in his ear, trying to lend comfort. Shunsui buried his face against his shoulder, and Starrk could feel his heavy breathing, the way he was struggling against his own feelings.

Eventually, the breathing eased out and Starrk met Juushiro's eyes. He looked grim and unhappy as he cuddled up to Shunsui from behind, trying to lend what comfort he could. Starrk was sure they were thinking the same thing… someone had victimized Shunsui in the past. But who could have done such a thing to someone so powerful? Starrk was still turning the puzzle over in his mind when Shunsui spoke.

"I should tell you." He said, pulling his face away. The pain on his face was raw and Starrk swallowed to see it. "I've meant to for years, decades. I'm sorry Juu. I should have trusted you with this." He sounded terribly guilty as he turned so he was lying on his back instead of his side. Juushiro smiled down at him, gently taking his hand.

"It's nothing to worry about, Shunsui. I've always know there was something, but if you didn't want to talk about it I respected that. Are you sure you want to talk about it now?" He asked and Shunsui closed his eyes for a moment before nodding.

"I think I do. You both deserve to know why I did that." He sounded ashamed of himself and Starrk gently rested a hand on his chest. Shunsui closed his eyes for a moment before telling them the story. "A very long time ago, I had just turned sixteen." He laughed, a short, pained sound. "I was so proud of myself… I'd just been accepted to the Academy, so young. My mother and father were so proud of me and we had a great birthday party, all my friends came… it was so wonderful. I thought I was on the top of the world, that nothing could go wrong." There was such bitter pain in his voice. "I was so proud of my skills, I decided to do something stupid. To celebrate, I and my friends went to a tavern in the Rukongai. It was fun at first. We started to get drunk and went to a different tavern, living it up. We were probably quite obnoxious. After all, we were young, powerful nobles. Who would dare touch us?"

"There was a fight at a tavern. Somewhere in the ruckus, I was separated from my friends. I'm grateful for that now… if they had seen… but they didn't. I was trying to find them when I was challenged to a fight. Kami, I was so full of myself. I said yes without a thought." Shunsui laughed and the sound was jagged, pained. "We took it to the back alley and that was where I learned how young I truly was."

"It was like – like facing myself as I am now. He tore me to pieces. I knew after the first few minutes that the bastard was playing with me… I was so ashamed! Couldn't he kill me honorably?" Shunsui's voice was full of mockery for his past self. Starrk gently rested a kiss on his shoulder as Juushiro comforted him. "It wasn't long before he tired of the game. I was on the ground then, his knee in my back as he gripped my hair. He told me I had two choices… he could kill me now, or I could go with him and satisfy his lusts for the night." Shunsui sounded faint as he remembered and Starrk winced. "I almost told him to kill me. I almost did… but then I remembered my parents, my brothers and sisters. All my hopes and dreams for the future, my life at the academy… I didn't want it to end like that, in a dirty alleyway, all over in a pointless moment of stupidity. So I said yes."

"Oh kami." Juushiro whispered as Shunsui continued. Starrk swallowed, feeling the other man's pain.

"He tied me up and dragged me off. No one gave us a second glance. He took me to this filthy little room… there was nothing there but a ragged old mattress. He shoved me down onto it, my hands still tied behind my back, and told me the first thing I would do was suck him off." Shunsui swallowed and Starrk thought of something.

"Do you want a glass of water?" He asked quietly and Shunsui hesitated before nodding. "I'll get that." Sliding off the bed he grabbed a robe before going to the bathroom. Quickly filling a glass, he returned with it to see that Shunsui was sitting up now, his back against the headboard as Juushiro cuddled up beside him, running a hand through unbound hair. Taking the glass Shunsui gave him a wan smile and drank before continuing.

"I remember thinking that it wasn't too bad." He said softly, looking into his glass of water with a pained, pinched expression. "A cock in my mouth was strange but not too bad. I thought, if it was all like that, I would be fine. How naïve… He was still hard when he grabbed my hair and pulled me off. Then he put his fingers in front of me and told me to suck." Shunsui laughed, another jagged, painful sound. "I didn't understand. I was such a child! He laughed and told me if I wanted it dry, he could do that too."

"It hurt. It hurt so much." Shunsui said softly, looking away, a suspicious wetness in his grey eyes. "Just his fingers… I tried so desperately to get away from him. My legs were free. But he was bigger and stronger. I would say he reminds me of Kenpachi Zaraki, but it would be a gross insult to Zaraki. He may be bloodthirsty but he isn't cruel. Kami, how cruel that man was to me! Just his fingers and I felt like my body was on fire. When he took me I thought I would die. I thought he was tearing me apart. I remember… I cried, I couldn't help it. I was so ashamed but I couldn't stop." Shunsui took another sip of the water, rubbing his face for a moment.

"He finally came inside me and I thought it would be over. Not even close… he pulled out of me and shoved me onto my back before leering into my face. He told me he'd thought a brat like me would be a virgin and with as tight as I was, he was sure of it. He started to fondle me… I wasn't aroused. How could I be, after what he'd done? I thought there was no way he could reach me." Shunsui managed a weak chuckle. "But I didn't know. I had no idea. He put his fingers back into me… searching for something. I had no idea what. But when he found it, I felt it. Kami, I did… I didn't understand how he could be making me feel things like that. How I could be getting hard at his touch. He kept playing with me, leering down at me like a nightmare." Starrk closed his eyes, feeling Shunsui's pain. "When I finally came I felt so dirty. I was crying again and I didn't care that he saw. I felt so violated and used. He laughed and told me he was going to show me all the things my pretty body could do."

"That was how the rest of the night progressed. He would take me, rape me violently, then force me to feel pleasure. I don't know how long it went on… it felt like forever. It seemed like he would never stop. But then he told me to suck his fingers again and this time I did it. I understood now." Shunsui said softly and Starrk wished he could go back in time to murder the man who had done this to him. "He took me again but this time he wasn't trying to bring me just pain… He kept hitting that thing inside me, the thing I couldn't name, and it started to feel good. Even after all the pain, all the blood, it started to feel good… then he clamped a hand around my throat. I couldn't breathe. I thought he was a liar, I thought I was going to die there in that dirty little room. And I couldn't do a single thing to save myself. My hands were still tied behind my back."

"When I came I almost didn't feel it." Shunsui said, his hands shaking as he finished the last of his water. Juushiro took the glass, an arm around him as Starrk curled up on the other side. "But when he let me go, let me breathe, I could feel it all through my belly… kami, it was intense. He laughed and told me he'd known he would make me cum with nothing but his cock by the end. Then he cut the ropes and left me there, like a discarded piece of trash."

"I felt so dirty, so used. Like I'd been eaten up and my bones tossed aside, nothing but soiled garbage." Shunsui said raggedly, putting an arm around Juushiro and resting his face in white hair for a moment. "But as bad as that was, it wasn't the worst. The worst was when I finally got home to my loving family." His tone could have etched glass and Starrk winced. "My mother and father… I had to tell them what had happened. I needed help. I felt so fragile, like a vase that could break at the slightest blow. A blow they were happy to administer… father told me I should have died with honor rather than let myself be defiled like that. Mother told me we would never discuss it again and I should go to my room to clean myself, I smelled disgusting." Shunsui dropped his face into his hands, his shoulders shaking. Starrk felt a sharp burst of rage and from the look on his face, Juushiro was feeling something similar. It was very unusual from the mild manner taichou.

"Kami. Didn't they understand that those kind of wounds don't just go away?" Juushiro said, his voice shaking with anger. Shunsui looked up at him with a wan smile. "And you had just turned sixteen! You were still a child! How did they think you would cope with that?"

"Well, I don't know how they thought I would get over it. But I think I handled it reasonably well, on the surface. I went to the Academy and immediately began a campaign to seduce every eligible female in my class." Shunsui said lightly and Starrk blinked. "I think I was just trying to make myself feel like a man again. He'd taken away my self-respect, my pride. It seemed like this was a way to get it back. Although I knew I was lying to myself… I knew I didn't really want them. I was terrified to admit what I wanted until I met you, Juu." The warmth in his face and voice made Juushiro turn a little pink. Starrk watched with a smile as Shunsui pulled his love into a gentle kiss. "You fixed me in so many ways. Even before we fell into bed together, I felt like you made me whole again."

"Shunsui." Juushiro whispered before hugging him tightly. Starrk just watched them, feeling apart. This was their shared history, now. He was a recent addition and his thoughtless words had triggered this. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry too." Starrk offered and Shunsui looked up with a small smile before offering him an arm. Starrk settled against his side, hugging him as that arm went around his shoulders. Bringing him in.

"It's not your fault. You couldn't have known. Really, I should have done this so long ago… you're the first people I've ever told, besides my mother and father." He said softly, nuzzling chestnut hair. Starrk closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the closeness. "…I'm tired." Shunsui said before he yawned. Juushiro smiled at him before glancing at Starrk.

"So am I." He said and Starrk understood. It was time for him to leave. But he was curiously reluctant.

"Let me stay with you while you fall asleep." He said softly and Juushiro looked surprised as Shunsui tilted his head slightly at the request. "I want to see you. I'll leave as soon as you're asleep." He knew better than to stay but he wanted to see them together, so peaceful. Shunsui gave him a small, understanding smile.

"That's so sweet. I like watching Juushiro as he sleeps too…" Shunsui yawned again before sliding down, into the covers. Juushiro curled up beside him, smiling at them both. "Mmm… Lupe?" Shunsui asked, his voice already thick with sleep. "Will you ever tell us about your scar?" He asked and Starrk hesitated.

"Maybe someday." He whispered before gently kissing his lover's cheek. Only a snore answered him. Glancing behind, he saw that Juushiro was rapidly dropping off as well. "…" Smiling, Starrk watched them sleep. When he was sure he wouldn't disturb them he slipped out of bed to get dressed.

He needed to return to the unit barracks. He would see his taichou tomorrow.

"No. Absolutely not." Starrk said firmly. He was not budging.

"You are being extremely disrespectful." Shunsui said, glaring at him dangerously. Starrk might have been more intimidated if it hadn't been for the subject at hand.

"Very well. Absolutely not, Kyoraku taichou!" He said with a bow and his superior glowered at him.

"Are you mocking me?" He asked suspiciously before sighing and scratching his hair under his hat. "Why Lupe? Why won't you teach me?" Shunsui asked plaintively and Starrk sighed.

"Many reasons… first, this is the Thirteenth Division. If we're going to do something this silly we should probably do it in the Eighth. Second, it's the middle of the day. You do not need to start doing shots in the middle of the day. And we all know that's what would happen." Starrk said, crossing his arms over his chest as he glowered at Shunsui. He looked a touch taken aback.

"I just want to learn how to etch glasses! I didn't say we would be making cocktails!" He protested, which Starrk greeted with massive skepticism.

"Oh please. I know you. All these pretty glasses sitting in a row… let's fill them up! By the way, how is your liver still functioning?" Starrk asked. He was honestly curious about that. It wasn't that Shunsui was falling down drunk all the time, but he was always drinking. He handled it well but he just never stopped. Starrk was no therapist but he had a good idea this problem might be linked to the incredible trauma the man had experienced as a teenager. Perhaps he was wrong, though. Shunsui looked a bit sheepish.

"Oh, Lupe-chan, you sound like you're channeling my Nanao-chan! And I visit the Fourth regularly for some special treatments." He admitted and Starrk grimaced slightly. That couldn't possibly be good. "Well, why don't you come over to my place tonight to show me how?" He said and Starrk blinked, his opinion of Shunsui's cleverness suddenly going up. There were at least three people listening in to the little confrontation. "Then I can do shots and cocktails to my heart's content!"

"Err… would that be appropriate, Kyoraku taichou?" Starrk said, feigning reluctance. This was an excuse for him to openly spend the night. Of course he would be too drunk to get back until morning. "You must know I am…" Starrk looked down, feeling a blush rising on his cheek. It wasn't really acting, talking about it was embarrassing. Shunsui laughed, waving away the concern.

"Nothing to worry about! I am confident in my sexuality." Shunsui said serenely and Starrk almost choked. That was certainly true. "All the ladies can tell you. So will you teach me the art of sugar animals on shot glasses?" His eyes were bright at the thought and Starrk thought that ruse or not, sugar animals would definitely be on the table. The thought was rather interesting.

"I would be honored, Kyoraku taichou." Starrk said sincerely and Shunsui grinned, pleased with his victory. "What time?"

"Hmm, six! You can stay for supper." He said cheerfully and Starrk smiled, pleased. He very rarely got to spend a full evening with them and it was always a wonderful occasion. "I'll be expecting you, Lupe-san."

"I'll be there, taichou." He promised and Shunsui smiled before taking his leave. Shunsui went towards the practice grounds, smiling as he walked. Tonight he would practice the art of sugar animals and Shunsui could teach him how to mix drinks as Juushiro made them all something sweet and delicious to soak up the alcohol. He could picture it in his mind already and frankly, Starrk couldn't wait.

It would be a wonderful night.