"Oh Lupe, you're so funny!" Momo said with a laugh after he finished a rather off-color but innocent story. Rangiku was laughing up a storm as Rukia smiled and Renji gave him a look that was almost a glower. Starrk really had no idea what his problem was, so he ignored it. Kira just looked quietly depressed as Shuhei admired Rangiku's heaving bosom. Starrk could appreciate that as well, although well-endowed redheads were not actually to his taste.

"I try." He said easily before looking at Rangiku. "Do you have any stories, lovely one?" He asked and she dimpled at him before telling them all a very interesting story about a man who'd tried to date her. It really was hilarious although probably rather cruel to the poor fellow in question. Fortunately, he wasn't there.

Starrk was having a great deal of fun with these people. The only one who didn't seem to like him was Renji, and he really didn't know what the problem was there. A personality conflict? His homosexuality? Jealousy, perhaps? Starrk could tell that as strong as Renji was, he was stronger in terms of pure reiatsu. That had to be irritating since he knew the other man already had a bankai. His power was taichou class, but if Starrk had a bankai he would be more.

And you're getting really close to your bankai. It won't be long now. Lilinette said and Starrk nodded to himself. He could feel the energy inside him, swelling and coming close to some kind of completion. There was a phrase, a word that was just out of reach. He knew when he found it, he would have his bankai.

"Would you like another glass, Lupe?" Momo asked him and he smiled warmly at her, feeling a small twist in his heart. How he wished he could take her in his arms and whisper the truth in her ear, ask her to make him cookies and show him the world like a mother should. He knew it was both stupid and futile. He had no real mother, no real father and he needed to deal with that. Still, he wanted a closeness from her.

"Please, that would be wonderful." He said and she smiled as she poured him another. They were drinking sangria and eating tapas at a local Spanish restaurant. Rangiku took a piece of some kind of crispy roll and ate it, making it a slow, sensual show. Starrk couldn't help but notice and someone else noticed him noticing.

"You're not really gay, are you?" Renji suddenly said, his glower intensifying. Starrk choked a little as Rukia scowled and hit her friend up the back of his head. "Ow! What?" He said, rubbing his hair and scowling.

"That was rude!" She scolded him as Renji looked away. "What's wrong with you, anyway? What does it matter if he's like that?" She asked as Shuhei suddenly looked uncomfortable and Kira looked into his drink. Starrk collected his wits before speaking.

"It's alright Rukia. And the truth is, I'm bisexual." He said to Renji who looked at him with a frown. "I incline more towards men, but I do appreciate women." His sexuality wasn't a simple thing. He had many, many interests and preferences. "Sadly, that information seems to have been lost among the rumors." He said with a laugh and that seemed to lighten the atmosphere a bit. Taking a bacon wrapped date, he ate it, appreciating the play of salt and fatty against the sweet.

"Lupe, I was wondering. Would you like to come to tea with me sometime?" Momo asked and Starrk's heart jumped at the thought. More time with his mother? That would be –

Starrk. She doesn't know she's your mom. Remember that thing about leading girls on? Private time is a bad idea. Lilinette warned and Starrk suddenly realized she was right. He should have just told them he was completely gay. Still… it was just tea. And he wanted to know his mother better. Smiling, he came to a quick decision.

"I would love it. Perhaps Rukia would like to come too?" He asked innocently, glancing towards her as he heard Lilinette sigh. He missed Renji stiffening just a touch. She smiled at them both cheerfully.

"I would love to!" She said before looking at her friend. "If you don't mind, Momo?" She asked and Hinamori shook her head. Starrk thought he saw just a trace of disappointment in her but if so, it vanished swiftly. She smiled at her friend. "Perhaps on Friday, after practice?"

"Certainly!" They quickly set the date and Starrk smiled as he tried a bit of calamari. A second set of plates came out and he noticed that Kira wasn't eating. He really did seem very depressed as he looked into his wine. He wasn't drinking much, either.

"Forgive me, are you well?" He asked quietly and Kira looked up from his wine. Starrk was struck by how lifeless he looked.

Um… I do know what's wrong with him. Lilinette sounded uncomfortable and Starrk sent her a questioning feeling. Tell you later. It's not something you could know anyway. Frowning at that, he turned his attention back to Kira as the other tried to smile. It was rather a farce.

"Just thinking." He said quietly before picking up a bit of cheese and nibbling on it. Then he took a sip of his wine. "This is very good."

"Yes, I like to nibble out the pieces of fruit." Starrk agreed, making a mental note to question Lilinette about this later. Kira managed a more genuine smile at that. "I'm told you do haiku?" He'd even read some of them and come away feeling mystified. Poetry was definitely not something he understood.

"Yes, I teach a class at the academy on it. I don't recall ever seeing you." He said softly and Starrk nodded.

"I was busy taking the calligraphy class. I have a talent for artwork and regrettably, the classes were scheduled for the same time." They were both optional so they had to fight for attendees. Kira nodded, a small flicker of amusement in those sad eyes.

"The calligraphy class is being taught by Iemura-san, no?" He asked and Starrk nodded. "How was it?"

"Not the best." He said honestly and that seemed to amuse Kira. "He's good at the calligraphy but not very good at teaching."

"He was whining at the meeting of the Shinigami Men's Association about that. He said there's almost no girls in his class." Kira said and Starrk nodded, unsurprised.

"He practically drove out the few he had. He has an extremely off putting air, when he sees an attractive woman." Starrk said and Kira's smile was suddenly very real as he sipped his sangria. "If someone came onto me like that I would probably run away, too."

"Yes. I would help him but my luck with women is very poor." Kira said before sampling a bit of the calamari. That made Lilinette giggle for some reason. They continued to make small talk and Starrk found that he was enjoying it. Prying Izuru out of his shell wasn't easy, but it seemed to be worth doing. "Have you considered joining the Shinigami Men's Association?" He asked and Starrk hesitated. He knew Ukitake was a member and Shunsui considered it to be an amusing but rather silly hobby.

"I did think of it, but I'm afraid they probably wouldn't want me." He said honestly. A social club would be fun, even if they did hold meetings in the men's urinals. That made Izuru look slightly depressed as he nodded.

"I don't know. I can ask Iba about it." He offered and Starrk shrugged before nodding with a small smile. He wasn't dying to join up, but it would be a nice way to innocently see more of Juushiro.

Eventually it was time to leave and they all went back to their Divisions. Starrk stayed with Rukia, vaguely aware of Renji's eyes on his back as they walked away. Was it jealousy? Did he have an interest in Rukia? From what he could detect she only regarded him as a friend. Starrk shook his head at himself. He just didn't know enough to speculate.

"So what exactly is wrong with Izuru-san?" Starrk said softly as he went to the baths. It was quite late and a good time for him to use them. There was a soft sigh from his zanpakuto.

He and Gin were lovers. She said plainly and Starrk almost tripped, his eyes widening. Lovers? Gin? I know right? And from the way Aizen was grumbling he was really in love with the bastard.

"Wait, I'm confused. Why would Aizen care about that?" It didn't make much sense. Why would Aizen give a rat's ass about Kira's feelings? "And how do you know all this?" Why would he be discussing it with Lilinette? There was another sigh from his zanpakuto.

Because of that little thing you had with Gin that one time. She said and he blushed faintly as he began disrobing, putting his clothing away in a locker. He sealed that with another bit of kido. No one had ever tried it but if someone ruined his clothing while he was in the bath, he'd be walking back to his room in a towel. Not amusing. Aizen was worried that Gin was going to mess with you and started muttering about Kira. He seemed to think Gin should have killed him, or arranged to have him killed. You know, when he was still happy and thought he was loved.

"…Like he did to Momo." Starrk said quietly and felt Lilinette's agreement. "The logic of a psychopath."

Yeah. I can see his point though. She said and Starrk grimaced as he slid into the water. It must be really hard on him. He can't even talk to anyone about it.

"Worse than Hinamori." She had plenty of support from the other shinigami around her. Everyone knew how cruelly she'd been hurt by her former taichou and the women, in particular, had to be up in arms on her behalf. "Although everyone must know that Kira was betrayed." He mused quietly. "But not how intimately… you're right, it must be very hard on him. I wonder if there's anything I could do?"

You could try. Although how would you explain what you know? Lilinette asked and Starrk smiled as he savored the heat of the water, watched the steam rise up around him.

"I am amazingly perceptive." He said and Lilinette snorted. "It's not like he could imagine the truth."

Got me there. I doubt he even got a look at you, back when you fought Shunsui. Hey, why don't you ask if he wants to spar? He's got a shikai, right? She said and Starrk hesitated. While it was a good idea it had a huge downside. He didn't like to use his shikai. His face and coloring might not be memorable but twin guns? How many shinigami had a shikai like that? If there was one part of him that was recognizable, it was Lilinette. I hear what you're thinking and I totally agree, but you still need to practice with your shikai or you're gonna get rusty. That's not cool Starrk.

"…You're right." He said with a soft sigh. In Los Noches he'd practiced with resurrection all the time. He'd had no idea it was actually his shikai. Although it was slightly different. The wolves… how had he generated the wolves? They weren't part of his shikai.

That was a kido variation and we can't do it anymore. Aizen gave me that ability with the hogyoku. Lilinette said and Starrk nodded thoughtfully. That change would support his story about being a purified plus soul, anyway. Lies on top of lies… he felt guilty about it. At first he'd tricked Shunsui and Juushiro into believing he remembered nothing. Now he'd misdirected them again, pretending he was a purified soul. If they truth ever came out, would they be able to forgive him? There's no reason it ever has to come out, Starrk. The only person who knows is in jail and he's not going to fink you out. What good would it do him?

"A point." Starrk relaxed a little at the thought. She was right, Aizen would never mention him to anyone. If he cared at all about having a legacy, Starrk was all that was left. There wouldn't be grandchildren at this rate, but Aizen wouldn't know that. "You're right. I'll see if Kira wants to spar with me. And maybe some of the others. Rukia has a shikai." Renji had a bankai and that made Starrk wary of sparring with him. The man didn't like him. How much was he disliked? Enough for a training 'accident'? Starrk sighed to himself, wishing he didn't have to think of such things. It wasn't that he particularly thought Renji would be capable of cold blooded murder, it was just that he was paranoid about everyone.

Pulling himself out of the bath, Starrk dried himself off with a towel. Putting it in the appropriate basket, he went to get his clothes. Then he would go to bed.

Tomorrow would be another day.

"What in hell is wrong with me?" Starrk muttered as he wiped his face with the back of his hand. He'd thrown up this morning, again. He had absolutely no idea what was causing the violent, tearing nausea that assaulted him so early. Even the thought of food could trigger it. "It's like my hangover never entirely went away." If he had to pinpoint a date the problem had started, it had definitely been the manwich. Starrk flushed a little as he remembered. How could wonderful sex cause long term nausea though? Or even alcohol. It didn't make sense.

"Lupe-san, are you alright?" Rukia. Starrk lifted his head with a weak smile. He couldn't muster anything better at the moment. She regarded him with a small frown. "You've been missing breakfast." She said, concerned, and Starrk grimaced. Even the mention of food made his stomach feel uneasy.

"I haven't been feeling well in the mornings lately. Don't worry, I'll be fine." He tried to reassure her and failed miserably. She bit her lip before squaring her shoulders.

"Lupe, I know you look up to Kyoraku taichou." She said and Starrk blinked, wondering how they'd gotten from his problems to that. "But there are some things about him you should not emulate." He abruptly understood what she was getting at and his eyes widened.

"No! I haven't been drinking myself to sleep." He said hastily as she gave him a skeptical look. "The last time I touched alcohol was our little party. I swear, I haven't been drinking at all." He said sincerely and she looked at him intently for a moment before frowning.

"If that's true… have you been to the Fourth?" She asked and Starrk hesitated before shaking his head.

"I've been considering it. But it seems so minor. The nausea goes away in time for lunch, so I've been getting plenty of food." He said honestly and she looked at him thoughtfully before nodding.

"Well, if it gets worse make sure you go. It could be something serious." She said firmly and he nodded. She did have a point. Although he caught a strangely ambivalent feeling from Lilinette. He sent her a questioning feeling but got nothing in reply. So he disregarded it, turning his attention back onto Rukia.

"I will, Rukia-san." He said respectfully. They were on a first name basis, now, but he liked to use the honorifics. It made him seem a bit formal, perhaps, but that was better than disrespectful. "I'm going to be sparring with Izuru-san today. Perhaps he'll be able to recommend some teas for it." Kira was well known for having once been part of the Fourth. Maybe he would know something that could help him. Rukia smiled at that.

"That's a good idea. Good luck! His shikai is a bit tricky." She said with a smile and he wondered what it could be. Well, he would see it soon.

And he did. In the practice yard of the Third, he and Kira dueled back and forth a bit before they activated their shikai. Kira's blade changed slightly, becoming a rather odd shape. Starrk had absolutely no idea what it did, but his own shikai was rather obvious. Izuru's eyes widened as they saw the guns.

"That is a very difficult shikai for me." He noted and Starrk honestly wondered what he was talking about. "Although not as bad as Rangiku's." He mused and Starrk simply had to ask.

"What does your shikai do, exactly?" He said and Izuru smiled.

"That would be telling." He said before attacking. Starrk didn't counter, just dodged and began to use his guns in earnest. Their powers were both heavily sealed to make this practice safe, but any hits he landed would still sting. "But this is exactly why your shikai is frustrating…" He murmured and Starrk lifted an eyebrow.

"Well, in a real battle I'd continue frustrating you. But since this is practice… Twin Swords!" His shikai abruptly changed. Although instead of the blades of blue energy he'd had fighting Kyoraku, he was holding two simple swords with plain, leather bound hilts. Charging at Kira he caught his sword with one blade while –

"!" Starrk's breath whistled through his teeth as his left sword abruptly became heavier. He could still handle it but it was less than comfortable and he disengaged, leaping away. "That is nasty." He said severely and Kira simply looked at him with that depressed air of his. "Anyone with pure melee weapons must love you." He said before turning his blades back into guns. "And it sticks, too." He noted. His left gun was nearly unusable. Shoving it into his holster, he lifted his other weapon. "Wildfire." He said and Kira's eyes went wide as he suddenly had to dodge the powerful barrage. Starrk kept the gun moving, sweeping for him, and his opponent finally went down, smoking. Not that he was badly hurt… thanks to the limiters he'd be only a little scorched.

"You said… my shikai is nasty? That's horrible!" Kira said as he coughed. "How do you have so many variations?" He asked, a touch enviously and Starrk hesitated before shrugging.

"I don't know." He really didn't. Was it because of his powerful reiatsu?

Yeah. It's not a hard and fast rule but in general, the more potential power you've got, the nastier the shikai. That's why Aizen's was such a bitch. Although this guy's is pretty good. Just, you know, kind of one dimensional. She commented and Starrk nodded. If you're rating shikai, I'd say that Aizen had a big solitaire diamond. You've got a cluster of star sapphires and this guy has a single, pretty nice ruby.

"Now you're just getting weird. They're shikai, not gemstones." He murmured to Lilinette before turning his attention back to Kira. "Shall we call that a draw?" Starrk asked as he put away his remaining gun, offering Kira a hand. He took it, pulling himself up.

"I think we can hardly call that a draw. In a real battle you would have killed me." He said, which was true. Starrk knew it was nothing to be ashamed of, though. He'd fought Kyoraku Shunsui almost to a standstill. How could Kira hope to stand against him? But of course, he didn't know about his past. Although…

"I happen to know that Kyoraku taichou can evade my Wildfire. So far, I haven't met anyone else who can." He said honestly and Izuru looked mildly impressed. "But he's the only taichou I've tried it on. Likely they all could evade it."

"Intriguing. Would you like some tea?" Kira asked as they both began leaving the practice grounds. There had been an audience, Starrk noticed absently. Then he remembered.

"Tea! Yes, but speaking of tea. Do you have anything that will help with nausea in the mornings?" He asked and Kira frowned. "I've been getting sick in the morning all the time lately, I can't figure out why."

"The drinking the night before." Izuru said, completely deadpan, and Starrk winced. Was he getting a reputation for that too? But he'd be in good company. Shunsui was hardly the only functioning alcoholic in the ranks.

"I haven't been drinking, that's the problem." He said and Kira looked at him thoughtfully. "I'm a bit hesitant to go to the Fourth for something so silly, though. I was hoping you could take a look at me." It was also far, far less likely that Izuru would notice anything peculiar about him than one of the trained healers at the Fourth. He'd discussed it more thoroughly with Lilinette and he was essentially a construct, similar to Kurotsuchi Nemu. He lacked her obvious artificial features – he could easily pass as a normal person – but a deep scan might reveal his nature. And such an odd complaint might lead the healers to just such a scan. Kira nodded.

"I can help see what is troubling you, Lupe-san." He said and Starrk smiled at him gratefully. "For tea, I have a mint tea that's often used for morning sickness. It should help." That made Starrk smile a bit. Morning sickness? Not something he had to worry about, but amusing. The tests, though, were inconclusive. "I can find nothing at all wrong with you except a slight buildup of reiatsu in your abdomen." Kira noted and Starrk glanced down at himself. He couldn't detect anything abnormal. "It's in rather an odd pattern but it does not appear to be harmful. Sometimes things like that happen, they usually iron themselves out in a few days."

"Hmm. My reiatsu may have tied itself in a knot?" Starrk hazarded and Kira shrugged slightly. "I'll see if it gets better. In the meantime, maybe the tea will help." Mint tea… even if it didn't help with his nausea, drinking it would be no trial. He loved the taste of mint. "Izuru-san… forgive me if this is too personal. But I couldn't help but notice you seem very sad." His friend – were they friends? – shook his head.

"It's nothing important, Lupe-san." He said quietly and Starrk tried to think how to bring it up. He was sure now that Kira needed help.

"I think it is. It's because of Gin, isn't it?" He said softly, delicately using his reiatsu sensing to check for any eavesdroppers. There was nothing. Kira just looked at him emptily. "He was your lover." That made the other man's eyes widen in shock and the hand holding his teacup suddenly trembled. Even if he hadn't known it was the truth, he would have seen it in the way Izuru's eyes misted over.

"H-How…" Kira took a deep breath before sipping his tea. "How did you know?" He asked and Starrk smiled, crookedly.

"I guessed." He said and Kira blinked. "Someone mentioned how loyal you were to him. And I… had a feeling you might be like me. And everyone knows how odd Gin was… it seemed a logical leap. I do that sometimes." He lied, pretending to be embarrassed. Well, not exactly pretending. The whole conversation was a touch embarrassing. Izuru swallowed before nodding, looking down into his tea.

"Please don't judge me too harshly. But you know what the worse part of this is?" He said quietly and Starrk shook his head. "It's that I would have gone with him. If he'd just said a word to me… if he'd told me what was happening… I would have followed him without a second thought. I wasn't loyal to the Gotei 13. I was loyal to him. And he left me behind. I still don't know why." He rubbed his eyes for a moment. The tears remained unshed, just a small gather of moisture. "And now he's dead and I'll never know."

"…" Starrk bowed his head for a moment. He wasn't going to tell Kira the truth… that Gin just hadn't cared about him in the slightest. He knew it was true though. He didn't need Lilinette to tell him. He'd slept with Ichimaru once and the man had been completely cheerful about it. If he'd regretted the loss of Izuru, there had been no sign. Instead, he reached across the table to touch Kira's hands. "I understand. Love is such a powerful thing. Don't be ashamed." If Shunsui and Juushiro asked him to jump off a metaphorical bridge with them, would he? Yes, without a second thought. Starrk knew that his loyalty to his two lovers was a greater force than the more diffuse loyalty he felt to the Gotei 13. It was certainly much greater than anything he'd felt for Aizen. "If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here." He offered. There wasn't much he could do, not really, but someone to talk to was valuable.

"Thank you." Kira said before hesitating. Starrk waited. He could tell there was something on his mind. "Forgive me, but do you… I mean, are you… in a relationship?" He managed to ask and Starrk blinked in surprise before smiling slightly. Quiet and depressive was definitely not his type, so he was glad he could say part of the truth.

"Yes, I am. I can't reveal his name, for obvious reasons. But I'm quite happy with him." Starrk said softly and Kira nodded, looking just a bit disappointed. Not much though. It wasn't like they knew each other well. "Well, I should probably get back to my unit. If you need anything, let me know."

"I will, thank you. And let me know if your nausea becomes worse." Izuru said and Starrk nodded before departing. He had a lot of work to do.

Life in the Divisions was never dull.