"I'm hungry but I don't want to eat any of this!" Starrk complained as he sorted through the contents of his cooler. Snagging a cuke, he bit into the unassuming vegetable. It wouldn't do much for his aching hunger, but it was the least objectionable thing he could find. "Ugggh."

Stop being such a prima donna and eat something. What do you want to eat, anyway? Lilinette asked and Starrk had to think about it.

"I want… something salty yet sweet. But with a crunch. Like… sharp, white cheese with apricot preserves on a bit of cracker. Yes! That's what I want." He could almost taste it. The flaky cheese, so sharp and salty against the sweetness of the apricot… and maybe make it a chutney, some walnut pieces with the apricots… the cracker would be a really good cracker, the kind that was made with nuts in the blend… Starrk closed his eyes, his mouth watering as he experienced it vicariously.

Wow. That's… really vivid. You're actually kind of creeping me out now. Lilinette said and Starrk blinked. He had almost managed an out of body experience, for a moment. Too bad the only cheese you brought is that crappy yellow stuff.

"And I only have raspberry jam." Somehow, it wasn't the same. Finally deciding to make the best of a bad situation, he sliced up some yellow cheese, fished out some of his crackers – again, they were nothing fancy, not like the ones he'd been dreaming about – and spread it with jam. Then he settled in to munch. "It's not bad." It wasn't quite what he wanted but it would do.

Anything to shut you up. So what's on the agenda for today? Lilinette asked and Starrk licked away a bit of stray jam as he thought about it.

"Well, I've already more than fulfilled my quota." After accidentally running into a Visored, he'd decided that his bait was a bad idea. The way that woman had looked at him… she reminded him a touch of Halibel. Starrk really didn't want to go through that a second time. Still, even without his lure he was having an easy time finding his prey. Basic hollows were plentiful in Karakura town. "I was thinking that I could try out my gigai. Maybe exchange some of my money and do something." He was vague on what, though. What did humans do for fun? He honestly had no idea. "I could buy a book and read it at the café."

That's really lame Starrk. Why don't you go to a nightclub or something? Lilinette suggested and Starrk grimaced.

"I don't think that would be fun without my friends." He drank mostly in company. Rukia and the other or Shunsui and Juushiro. The second could be dangerous since Shunsui liked to keep filling his glass, but it was still a great deal of fun. Drinking by himself wouldn't be the same.

You wouldn't be alone, Starrk. You'd be surrounded by people. She said and Starrk frowned. He thought he could easily get laid that way, but he wasn't even remotely interested. And just chatting with random strangers who knew nothing about his real life or duties… no. Why don't you see if Ichigo and his friends want to hang out then?

"Hm, perhaps." It made Starrk very uneasy, but all of Ichigo's friends knew about his history. Perhaps Kurosaki could have kept a secret, but Orihime and Keigo couldn't. They were all aware that the Soul Reapers shouldn't be told, though, and Starrk hoped they would at least manage to honor that. If not… he had been a shinigami for a while at this point. Surely that would earn him some points? "Yes, that might be a good idea. He might be busy though. I suppose we can see." Ichigo was studying hard, trying to get the best marks possible for his final year. He'd largely given over his duties to Starrk, with gratitude. Ishida Uryuu was also giving schoolwork most of his attention and leaving things to the proper shinigami representative.

To his surprise, Ichigo was available. Actually, he was in dire need of a break from his studies, a feeling Starrk knew intimately. He was too young to go clubbing, though, something that amused the young construct given that he was quite a bit younger. Instead, they went to the mall.

It was the first time Starrk had experienced the mall, although Soul Society had plenty of outdoor markets. He found he very much enjoyed it although he only had a small amount of real world currency, changed for him at Urahara's shop. He and Ichigo chatted as they explored and Starrk began to notice something odd in their interactions. Sidelong glances, the occasional hesitations… what was going through Ichigo's mind? Starrk wasn't sure.

I think he likes you. Lilinette suddenly said and Starrk blinked. She thought…?

"Oh, haha, very funny." Starrk muttered under his breath. He didn't think that was it. Lilinette just laughed at him. "Are you hungry?" Starrk asked as his stomach growled. He was getting hungry quite a lot recently, he'd noticed. Yet at the same time he was often feeling oddly picky. Ichigo gave him a small smile and Starrk noticed again how beautiful it was. If he'd known Ichigo better he would have known the teen rarely smiled this much, but Starrk was just getting to know him.

"Sure. I could use a coffee." Ichigo said and Starrk nodded. He had no taste for coffee but he knew that quite a lot of people enjoyed it. They made their way to the food court and then Starrk was faced with the dilemma of figuring out what he wanted.

Damnit Starrk! Just pick something and eat it! What's wrong with you? Lilinette sounded quite grumpy. Starrk grumped right back.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, that's the problem…" Finally settling on pizza with a side salad, he took the tray back to the table. Ichigo was already there with a frothy coffee from the mall Starbucks.

"That took a while." He commented and Starrk blushed as he took a seat.

"I had trouble deciding." He said honestly. And he wasn't sure the pizza was going to work. Something about the scent of the pepperoni was making his stomach uneasy but it was too late now. Taking a bite he waited for a reaction before relaxing. He'd been afraid it would trigger his gag reflex and he would be forced to spit it out. "This is rather good." He seemed to be craving grease at the moment. The pizza had that abundantly.

"Really? I always thought they were too greasy." Starrk blinked at the odd echoing of his thoughts. Ichigo was looking into his coffee, though. "Lupe, um… can I ask you something personal?" He said softly and Starrk nodded, his mouth full. "Renji said that everyone in Soul Society thinks you're gay. How is that?"

"Er…" That was quite a loaded question. From the troubled expression on the substitute Soul Reaper's face, he had an idea of what the response would be. "Not too good." He admitted as Ichigo dropped his gaze to his coffee again. "I have to stay very alert, much of the time." Starrk had no illusions. There were still those who would do him harm, if he gave them any kind of chance. "But I have friends." He had people who would watch his back. That was always a good thing. "If I could go back in time, I never would have let anyone know." Starrk said with a sigh. He deeply regretted that. "It was my hollow past… for hollows, it means nothing. And 'do you want to' is enough of a come on." He said ruefully. He honestly missed that.

"Oh." There was a pause as Starrk munched his pizza. "Do you want to?" Ichigo suddenly asked and Starrk froze, mid bite. Then he let go of the pizza, looking into troubled and almost frightened brown eyes.

"I… what?" He asked cautiously. Did Ichigo mean what he thought? The teen swallowed nervously before speaking.

"I… think I might be like that." He almost whispered and Starrk stared. He'd honestly had no clue. Lilinette was giggling in the background. Pleased that she had been right, no doubt. "I'm pretty sure. I don't know who to talk to… I mean, Renji is right out, he doesn't seem to think much of it. Rukia is trying to be open about you but I couldn't… and I want to be sure. I, I want to know what it's like. How to do it." He was so embarrassed, his cheeks were adorably flushed. Starrk considered the offer for a moment, his mind still a bit cushioned with shock. Would Shunsui and Juushiro mind if he showed Ichigo what sex felt like?

After a few moments of contemplation, he was sure they wouldn't. Shunsui would probably laugh and point out that they were already sharing him with each other. Juushiro would likely think it was rather sweet and be concerned for Ichigo's future. Eventually, he would come to Soul Society. So that left himself. Did he want to do this? His own first experience decided him. As good as it had been, he wanted something more loving for Ichigo. After everything Shunsui and Juushiro had shown him, Starrk knew he could do that for him.

"You know, I think I wouldn't mind." Starrk said after a long moment and Ichigo seemed to sag a bit in relief. "But please remember that I have someone I care about. This will be a one time only thing." He said warningly and Ichigo nodded, although a flicker of interest went through his eyes.

"Who is it? I mean, if you don't mind me asking." He added and Starrk shook his head with a small smile.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you. He's not in the open and I would never reveal him against his will." Starrk said and Ichigo blinked before biting his lip. "We have to be very careful how we meet." He couldn't help the sadness that crept into his voice. As much as he loved Shunsui and Juushiro, that hurt sometimes. He would always be a secret. But then he forcefully put it aside. He was one of the few openly gay men in all of Soul Society, he would be in the same situation with any man. Although not a woman. Starrk almost wished he could turn away, but he knew he couldn't. He loved them too much.

"I see… and he wouldn't mind if you…?" Ichigo was blushing again and Starrk smiled, amused, as he started on his salad. Then he curled his lip. There was something off about the dressing. Deciding he didn't want it, he pushed it aside.

"Oh no, he wouldn't mind. But where will we do this?" He asked and Ichigo blinked. "I don't think your home would be ideal. Your sisters…" That was a bit of a nightmare. "We could use my tent. I wouldn't mind." It would really be quite comfortable. His tent was rather plush now, he'd added some pillows. Ichigo gave him a wondering look.

"You're really living in a tent in the park?" He asked and Starrk wondered why everyone thought that was so odd. "I know Soul Society doesn't supply accommodations for their shinigami in the Living World, but I've never heard of anyone doing that."

"Because everyone in Karakura town has a substitute shinigami to sponge off of." Starrk said with a smile and Ichigo snorted. "They would deny it but I think that's the primary function of substitute shinigami." It certainly made things convenient for regular shinigami.

"Oh, thanks!" Finishing off their food, they departed. Not for his tent, though. They went to Ichigo's house first to stash his gigai and Ichigo gave his body to Kon. Since his tent couldn't be seen by normal people, it followed that Ichigo needed to use his soul body. Then they went to the park. "So this is where you live? Um… it's interesting." That was the polite way to put it and Starrk grinned.

"I'm a very successful squatter and street person." He said seriously and Ichigo snorted. "It works for me. Honestly, it's quite comfortable." It wasn't as good as his suites in Los Noches, but it did suit him quite well.

"If you say so." Ichigo said, running a hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. Starrk went to the camp stove. He could have just pulled the young man into his tent but Ichigo was already very tense.

"Would you like some herbal tea?" He asked, setting out a kettle and turning up the burner. "Although it will take some time to heat." One thing he missed about Soul Society was instant hot water. There were kido heaters everywhere, for the purposes of making tea. A very delicate kido spell could accomplish the same thing but Starrk still had a moderation problem. If he tried to heat water with kido he would likely melt the kettle.

"…Maybe later? I'd like to, um…" Ichigo was blushing and Starrk blinked before smiling. Then he gently took Ichigo's hand.

"We can let it heat while I teach you." He murmured and the blush darkened for a moment before Ichigo nodded. Brown eyes were wide with both anticipation and fear as Starrk drew the young man into his tent.

The tent really was quite plush. Starrk had an air mattress and a nice little nest of blankets. Also a sleeping bag, but that was tucked to the side at the moment. He found it was too warm for the summer nights. There were several pillows as well, simple but very comfortable looking. To Starrk, his warm little nest spelled comfort and security. The latter was largely an illusion – the walls were nothing but fabric – but it was very nice.

Starrk gently tugged his partner down onto the mattress and began disrobing him, trying to be as seductive as possible. He gently teased the revealed skin with his fingertips, making Ichigo gasp. The young soul reaper was soon trying to return the favor, easing him out of his robes. They kissed then and Starrk could feel the young man trembling under him, still with that combination of desire and fear. Starrk rolled his hips against Ichigo, feeling the evidence of his arousal against his belly. He gripped their erections, stroking them together and enjoying the soft gasps of his partner. The fear was fading, overwhelmed by need and pleasure.

"Ichigo." Starrk murmured into his ear, watching as those lust hazed brown eyes focused on him. "Do you want to be inside me? Or do you want to feel me inside you?" He asked and watched as the young man swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing. It was just too tempting and Starrk began to nuzzle his throat, kissing and sucking on the sensitive skin. He smelled good, warm but with just a trace of hollow musk. The former Espada found that quite arousing.

"I would like to be inside you." Ichigo whispered and Starrk nodded with a small smile. He wasn't too surprised. That was much less frightening for a beginner. "But… how do I…?" More blushing. It was sweet. Starrk kissed him again, running a hand down his side in a slow, gentle gesture.

"I'll show you how to prepare me." He promised and Ichigo nodded, his eyes wide. There was lube in the tent, for self-pleasuring purposes. Starrk smiled as he fished it out. He always entertained himself with thoughts of Shunsui and Juushiro, when he used it. "Now, this is lube. It's possible to prepare someone with only spit, but it helps if they're a bit masochistic." He said and smiled as Ichigo choked a little at the thought. "Let me show you how to do this properly…"

As they continued Starrk discovered, to his surprise, that giving someone a lesson in sex was really quite fun. This was something he'd honestly never experienced before… well, unless you counted introducing Shunsui and Juushiro to his toys. But they had already been vastly experienced in regular sex. Ichigo was experiencing things for the first time and his reactions were very arousing. Starrk gasped as the substitute Soul Reaper finally slid home into his stretched and lubricated body.

"Oh kami…" Ichigo groaned in his ear as Starrk nuzzled him, feeling the way his body was trembling as he struggled to control himself. "Can I?" He asked and Starrk nodded.

"Please." He whispered and Ichigo began to take him, slowly at first but then speeding up. Starrk wrapped his legs around the young man's waist, enjoying the sensation of that hard length inside him. Although it was more ghosting over his prostate, not striking it firmly. Starrk was sure that was not intentional. "Ah… you need to find my prostate." He said softly and Ichigo shifted slightly, trying to adjust his angle. Starrk groaned as he scored a direct hit. "Yes, like that." He murmured before kissing the young man again. Ichigo moaned into his mouth, his thrusts speeding. "Now, touch me…" He guided Ichigo's hand to his straining erection and groaned as he felt that hand begin to work on him. It felt so good…

It was over too soon. Starrk wasn't even close to his orgasm when he felt Ichigo stiffen against him, felt the hot pulse of his release. The young man was left gasping and trembling, slumping against him. Starrk nuzzled his neck, kissing his cheek and trying to ignore his bodies' needs. Although he wanted more and Ichigo knew it. He pulled back a bit, looking ashamed.

"I – I'm sorry. I didn't…" He started awkwardly and Starrk laughed, taking his hand and guiding it back to his body.

"Then finish me. You can do it." He murmured and saw Ichigo swallow before he began to stroke him again. The feel of that callused hand on his length, the warmth of that body pressed against him… Starrk closed his eyes, letting the pleasure build in his loins. It was good, in a completely different way from what he did with Shunsui and Juushiro. Sweet and oddly innocent.

Starrk gasped as he reached a soft release, his cum coating Ichigo's hand and splattering his belly. He savored the feeling behind it, the pleasure of his body and the moment. Opening his eyes he met warm brown, smiling as he saw how affected Ichigo was by this. His eyes were wide and his breathing was fast as he watched the man beneath him find his pleasure.

"That was good." Starrk murmured and meant it. Ichigo bit his lip, clearly thinking he was just being polite. "Don't feel bad, Ichigo. It happens sometimes." He said gently, reaching up to gently stroke that youthful face. Had he ever been so young? Chronologically, he was much younger than Ichigo even now, but it felt like he was a thousand years older. Likely that was Szayel's fault, with his information feeds. And the other Espada. His experiences with them would have finished off any lingering childishness. Not just the sex, but the other interactions.

"I couldn't have lasted more than five minutes." Ichigo muttered, which was actually a good guess. Starrk chuckled softly. "Was your first time like that too?" He asked and the young shinigami blinked.

"Err… not really. But my first time as a hollow wasn't exactly normal." He said honestly and Ichigo looked puzzled. "Let's just say I wasn't given the option of going off too soon, and leave it at that." It hadn't been his own stamina that time. No, Barragan had been well aware he was dealing with a near virgin and had plenty of ways to take care of it. Starrk flushed a little as he remembered.

"Oh." Ichigo sighed softly before slowly pulling away from him. Starrk vaguely wished he could stay, but he surely needed to get home. "Lupe… thank you. I think that helped me a lot." He said softly and Starrk caught the sadness in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked and Ichigo hesitated a moment before giving him a small smile.

"I just wish I was normal." He said and Starrk could fully empathize. He wasn't normal either, and it was far more profound than just his sexuality. "But now I know I'm not. So, thank you." Ichigo bent down and they kissed again. It was slow and tender, a loving kiss. Starrk savored it but knew it wouldn't happen again. He liked Ichigo as a friend, but nothing more. He wouldn't lead the teenager on.

"I'm sure you'll find someone to love you." He said quietly. "Good luck." Ichigo nodded before slipping out of the tent and Starrk yawned. He needed his tea, then a nap. First, though, he pulled out some tissues to clean himself off.

This kind of thing always left him tired and needing a nap.

"This is fun." Starrk murmured to himself as he sipped his drink.

He was at a party being held at the Third Division. Kira had invited him, which was very kind of him. There were other people he knew, like Rangiku and Momo. Renji wasn't there – finally attending to his duties as fukutaichou – and Rukia hadn't been able to come either. But still, he had people to talk to.

And he was trying to make new friends. Some of the members of Kira's unit seemed receptive. Starrk was listening to a story when a flash of pink caught his attention. He made the mistake of leaving his glass unattended for just a moment as he turned to look. It was the tiniest of slips and if someone hadn't been watching him carefully, they would have missed it. But someone was and a hand darted out, dropping a tiny bit of white powder in his drink.

Starrk knew nothing of that. He'd thought for a moment he'd spotted Shunsui, but it was just a pretty girl in a pink kimono. Most of the shinigami at the party were in street clothes, including himself. Turning back to the rest of the party he picked up his drink and took another sip.

The wine went to his head surprisingly quickly. Starrk rubbed his face as he started to feel rather ill. Grimacing, he started edging towards the exit. He probably needed to throw up again. Lunch had been odd, pickled herring with oatmeal. Starrk had no idea what had possessed him to crave that particular combination but perhaps he was paying for it now.

"Lupe, are you alright?" Kira asked and Starrk smiled at him. He was feeling a bit unsteady on his feet but it was hardly too bad… then an arm went around him from the side.

"I'll take care of him, Izuru-san." That was someone he didn't know. Starrk glanced over to see he was a tall man with close cropped yellow hair. Something about him was vaguely alarming and Starrk knew he should be pulling away, but strange little dots were starting to waver across his vision.

Starrk! Don't go with him! You've been drugged! Starrk! Lilinette's voice seemed very far away as he was 'helped' out of the party. Starrk was barely clinging to consciousness as the drug continued to do its work, rendering him helpless. Face surrounded him before something suddenly hit him in the face.

Pain consumed him and he knew nothing more.