"Well, this is quite boring." Shunsui commented. They were still waiting for his chest to fully heal. The delay wouldn't be too hard to explain… Los Noches was huge… but the injury would be rather difficult. It was better to just heal up before they went back to Soul Society. Starrk mumbled an affirmative as he tried to choke down another biscuit. Then he surreptitiously tried to hide the nasty thing in his teacup. Fortunately, Lilinette was playing a game of cat's cradle with Juushiro and didn't notice. "I know! Tell us one of your amazing sexual facts! You must have more you've been hiding from us." Shunsui said with a smile and Juushiro looked over, interested. Starrk winced as Lilinette spoke, not taking her eyes off the cat's cradle.

"You might wanna watch that Kimono-chan. I know all his secrets and some of them are pretty darn gross. Hey Starrk, tell them about the naughty ouchie!" She said before suddenly doing something complicated with her hands and stealing the threads away from Juushiro. "Heh, I win!"

"Excellently done! And yes, can you please tell us about the naughty ouchie?" Juushiro said with a smile as he ruffled Lilinette's hair. She giggled, accepting the gesture easily. Now that she had 'kicked his ass' they seemed to be getting along much better. Starrk sighed, resting his chin in his hand as he remembered.

"Hmm… did you know that if you take a man who's fully aroused, a well-placed strike from a whip will cure his condition?" Starrk said and there was silence from his two lovers. "By causing him to orgasm. It's a very interesting experience."

"…Please tell me you didn't enjoy that." Shunsui said, sounding slightly queasy. Starrk laughed, lying down on his cushion.

"At the moment it happened? It felt amazing. Five seconds later? It hurt like hell. And the next day, when I accepted the fact that I couldn't walk properly and finally took it to the medics… that was possibly the most embarrassing day of my life." Starrk groaned at the memory. "The girls were all snickering. I have never been so humiliated."

"Oh my kami!" Juushiro laughed as Shunsui shook his head with a smile. "Who did that to you?" He asked and Starrk smiled as he remembered.

"Halibel. Apparently, she liked to use her girls as bait for a trap… her fraccion told me I would satisfy them, or else. Well, I wasn't about to say no to three beautiful women who wanted my body." Starrk said easily as Shunsui grinned at the thought. "However, when I was exhausted and helpless, Halibel 'caught' us. That was when the bondage gear came out and I was too weak to fight her off. The cock whipping was the finale of the evening but there was quite a bit more."

"I think that was the most times he's ever cum in one night. By the way, if you work it right he can do like, six rounds." Lilinette put in and Starrk winced. "There's a reason everyone liked him."

"I can see how that would make him popular! Tell me, Lupe. Was there anyone you didn't sleep with?" Shunsui asked, sounding curious. Starrk shrugged.

"Among the Espada? Only Yammy and Zommari. Yammy… I overheard the Numeros discussing his skill. I don't know what 'beating my cervix like a club on a baby seal' means, exactly, but I decided to take a pass." It hadn't sounded like a compliment. Juushiro choked as Shunsui laughed. "And Zommari's fetish was too strange for me. I turned him down."

"From what you've said, you've engaged in bondage, foursomes and sexual torture. What could possibly be too strange for you?" Juushiro asked, which was an interesting question. Starrk grimaced, running a hand through his hair.

"Are you sure you want to know?" He asked as Lilinette giggled. She knew exactly what he was talking about. Juushiro nodded as Shunsui listened intently. "Absolutely sure? What has been heard cannot be unheard."

"Oh Lupe, it can't be that bad! Tell us, we're quite curious now." Shunsui urged him and Starrk smiled before shrugging.

"Don't say I didn't warn you. Did you know that some people are sexually aroused by organic waste?" He said candidly and there was a silence as they both digested that. The look on their faces as they understood what he was getting at was priceless.

"…Wait. You mean… crap? Shit?" Shunsui said as Juushiro winced. "I thought you said arrancar don't make waste. How…?"

"From the sewage system." Starrk supplied and they both looked ill. Not that he blamed them, he felt much the same way. "As I said, that was too weird for me. I was willing to try almost anything but that didn't make the cut." Even as an emotionless, uncaring arrancar the thought of playing with other people's crap hadn't done a thing for him.

"Did Aizen know about this?" Juushiro asked and Starrk honestly had no idea. He glanced at Lilinette, who shook her head.

"Nah. After the whole thing with Halibel he only wanted to know if something went horribly wrong. I think he was starting to get mentally scarred from the stories I was telling him." She said with a grin and Shunsui laughed as Starrk and Juushiro smiled. The thought of Aizen suffering mental scarring was rather funny. "I kinda wish you'd taken Zommari up on that. Then I'd've had to tell him. He mighta stroked out! The winter war would never have happened!"

"The only sacrifice being my sanity? Thanks." Starrk said sourly and she giggled.

"Well, I'm glad you said no to that one. If not I'm afraid I would be rethinking this relationship." Shunsui said with mock seriousness and Starrk growled at him playfully.

"I have a bun in the oven, you don't get to rethink this." He said firmly and they both laughed. "Is there anything else to eat? I'm still hungry." That was a mistake because it caused Lilinette to notice his half-eaten biscuit.

"That's because you didn't eat your food! Eat it Starrk! Eat it!" She grabbed the biscuit and when he tried to protest, she shoved it in his mouth. But it had become soggy from the remaining tea in the cup and with the weevils… Starrk suddenly gagged as violent nausea tore through him. Spitting out the biscuit he ran for the bathroom, just barely making it in time to lose his lunch. It hadn't tasted good going down and it tasted even worse coming up. "Oh geeze. We need to get him back to Soul Society just so he can eat something. This can't be good for the kid." Starrk wanted to curse her but he was too busy keeping his head over the toilet.

"We should be able to leave tomorrow." Shunsui pulled back his uniform a bit to examine the cut there. "Yes, it's really not too bad. Everyone will notice but I can pass it off as a minor wound and kami knows there might still be traps in here." Starrk looked up as he felt a warm hand on his back and smiled as Juushiro helped him stand. Rubbing his mouth, he let the white haired taichou help him into the room so he could collapse on his cushions.

"I know I'll have to stand trial, but I'm really looking forward to it. Some sushi would really hit the spot right now." He said with a sigh. "Yes… some salmon roe sushi, with plenty of wasabi… and a cup of miso soup." He could almost taste it. The salty fish roe over the sweet sushi rice and the incredible bite of the wasabi… his mouth was watering. Lilinette groaned.

"He's so creepy when he does that! Go to sleep Starrk. Hey, Shiro-chan, I know shinigami don't manifest their zanpakuto around other people but we all love each other, right?" She said as Juushiro blinked at her. "Can you manifest yours? I heard they're little kids an' I want to play tag or something!" Juushiro's eyes went vague for a moment as he turned his attention inwards. Then he smiled at the little girl zanpakuto.

"They say they would love to. Just give me a moment." He sat down on the cushions and entered Jinzen, concentrating on manifesting part of his soul. Soon the two little twin boys appeared and Lilinette giggled as they began engaging in a spirited game of chase the girl. Starrk smiled as he watched them run out of the room before dropping his head. He really was tired now and his stomach didn't feel too great.

Closing his eyes, he let himself rest.

Starrk took a bite of his lunch, feeling a deep, hedonistic pleasure. For the first time in a long time, he was eating something he genuinely wanted. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The texture of the bread, the deliciously heavy peanut butter, the sweet hit of the strawberry jam… it all added together to form a sensation of absolute bliss.

Okay, you are totally creeping me out now. Starrk chuckled as he took another bite, still savoring it. It's just a sandwich. It's not nirvana.

"At the moment, it feels like it. Mmm." Starrk swallowed before glancing around. "I wonder when they'll be done?" He murmured. He was waiting for Shunsui and Juushiro to finish bringing Urahara Kisuke up to speed. They'd brought the entire contents of Szayel's folder on him, which the man was currently perusing. Jinta had made him the sandwich, which he was very grateful for. It was most definitely hitting the spot.

His trial was over and done with. As expected, he had been acquitted of all charges on the grounds of self-defence. It had definitely helped that the Kyoraku clan had been kept busy by Shunsui's grandmother. She'd done very good work there, enlisting several other elders who either disliked Iso's father or had some other stake in the matter. Apparently, Shunsui wasn't the only member of his clan with such inclinations. He had no idea who the others were but given the odd allies they had found, it could be safely assumed there were more. Not the elders themselves, but likely a beloved son, daughter or grandchild.

That had left the two other noble clans involved, but they were both fairly minor. Yamamoto had managed to intimidate one into not interfering, and the last had been left with no backing. The trial had been relatively fair from that point onwards. Starrk was up for promotion now, due to his achievement of bankai. He hadn't wanted to reveal that but Shunsui and Juushiro had both insisted. There were no fukutaichou spots, so he would undoubtedly be made a seated officer in a different Division. Ukitake's was already full, but several of the others had openings.

Normally, that would have saddened him greatly, but with everything in the open Starrk had moved in with Shunsui and Juushiro permanently. He smiled as he thought about that, finishing off the last bit of his sandwich. He savored it, licking away some stray peanut butter from his fingers. Then a door opened and he looked up from his empty plate.

"Lupe-san! It's a pleasure to finally meet you." A man who could only be Urahara Kisuke said with a smile. The hat was interesting and so were the wooden clogs. Starrk rose from his seat, bowing slightly. "Or should I call you Starrk-san?"

"Lupe, please. My history is not that widely known." He said easily. Yamamoto knew and the other taichou had been briefed to look for purified arrancar. Starrk wondered if they would find any. He wasn't actually a purified soul so perhaps it was impossible. Kisuke smiled at him and Starrk had the distinct feeling this man was much smarter than him.

"You know, I'd wondered why the shinigami representative had never stopped by to see me. Now I suppose I know why." He said lightly and Starrk chuckled. "Hmm?"

"You're dead wrong." He said, amused. "I simply didn't know who you were and I heard through the grapevine that dealing with you was quite a pain in the ass." He grinned as Kisuke pushed back his hat, looking both amused and a touch offended. "And your prices were too expensive. So I went on in blissful ignorance." That made Urahara laugh.

"Oh my. Well, please come with me. I can't wait to examine you!" He said cheerfully and Starrk went. Soon he was disrobing, except for his underthings, and lying down on an examination table. Starrk closed his eyes and tried to relax as various instruments were run over him. "Yes, most definitely a construct. It's not obvious to a cursory scan – I would venture to say you were created in the old fashioned way, initially – but I can see many modifications, particularly in the durability area." Kisuke commented as Shunsui and Juushiro both watched. "Multiple redundancies and kido locks… I imagine you could continue to fight with wounds that most shinigami would find incapacitating."

"Hm, that explains how he was able to fight after I stabbed him through the back. I had wondered." Shunsui mused and Starrk grimaced at the reminder.

"It hurt like hell, just so you know." That had definitely been among the least favorite experiences of his life. "But you did miss my spine. I'd have been in trouble if you hadn't." There were limits. Urahara chuckled as he continued his examination.

"Yes, I imagine that would be troublesome… hmm, your reiryoku levels are really quite absurd. You seemed to have inherited all of Aizen's strength, but enhanced by the active royal blood." He said and Starrk nodded, unsurprised. "You knew that?"

"Of course. When I fought Shunsui the first time, I wasn't using cero. I was using raw reiatsu blasts, cast without a word. You know what that means." He said and Kisuke frowned before nodding. Only someone with truly extravagant power could do such a thing. "What about the child?" That was what truly concerned him. Urahara didn't say anything for a long moment, just examining his instruments.

"I'll need to go over Szayel's notes to make sure I'm interpreting this correctly." He finally said and Starrk chewed his lip, wondering what that meant. "But if I'm reading this correctly, you don't have one reiatsu signature… you have two."

"Two?" Juushiro said, startled and hopeful at the same time. "Twins?" He questioned as Starrk swallowed. He wasn't sure he liked that. Would it make the birth more difficult? Urahara nodded, his expression serious.

"Yes. And from these signatures, there's one from each of you." He said and Shunsui chuckled as Juushiro looked extremely happy. "This might complicate the birth." That drained the happiness out of the room as Starrk spoke.

"Will you be able to safely deliver them?" He asked quietly, meeting Kisuke's eyes. "I don't mind giving my life if the children will live." If they weren't delivered at all, he would surely die. He would happily accept death if it meant the babies could come into the world. Urahara smiled slightly as Juushiro froze and Shunsui's lips tightened.

"I think we'll be able to save you, Lupe-san. Remember, we do have Orihime. She can't heal you when the children are inside you but as soon as they're extracted, her power will be able to heal the damage to your aura." He said and Starrk blinked at the thought before relaxing slightly. That seemed to relieve Shunsui and Juushiro as well. "But I have many more tests to run. The reiatsu web feeding the children is incredibly tangled and delicate. I think it must be cut apart and that will be what causes the problems…" He mused as he went back to his scans. Soon Tessai had joined them and Starrk let himself relax. He was very familiar with this sort of thing, after all the time he'd spent in Szayel's lab.

He felt like he was in good hands.

"Is he going to make it?" Juushiro murmured, looking at the door to the room that held Lupe and his precious cargo. Shunsui put an arm around him, holding him close.

"I'm sure he will." He said comfortingly. This was the day Urahara had picked to deliver the children. The reiatsu signatures were fully formed and pulsing slightly, which seemed to be an indication that they were ready to exit. Lupe had reported an uncomfortable feeling of fullness and an instinctive desire to 'shove' the power out of him, which also indicated it was time. So now Kisuke, Tessai and Orihime were all doing their best to bring the children into the world and preserve Lupe's life.

They both looked up in surprise as they heard a high, thin cry. The sound of an outraged infant. Then there was a second scream, every bit as vigorous as the first. Juushiro desperately wanted to go see them but he held back. Now they would be trying to save Lupe's life.

It seemed to take forever. He was chewing on his thumbnail at the tension when the door finally opened. Kisuke was there and he was smiling. Juushiro sagged a bit in relief at that sight as Shunsui breathed a sigh of pure relief.

"You have two healthy girls! Did you want to see them?" He asked and they needed no other invitation. Lupe was there, awake and covered in sweat. He was being dried off by Tessai as Orihime held one of the babies, beaming. There was no obvious sign of the 'labor' on him, but they could both tell his reiatsu was extremely drained. That had clearly taken a lot out of the young construct. "I would recommend not doing this again." Urahara said quietly and they both looked at the children. Lupe had the other one cradled in his arms "I don't want to alarm you, but we came very close to losing him. Next time would probably be better but since Orihime's also leaving for University…"

"I see what you mean." Shunsui replied as Juushiro took the baby from Orihime, beaming. She was a tiny girl with a fuzz of jet black hair. Her eyes, when she opened them, were a warm brown. "I think that one's yours." He said with a smile before looking at the one in Lupe's arms. She was rooting around as if she wanted to nurse, but that was something her 'mother' absolutely couldn't do. "And that looks like mine." She had warm brown hair and her eyes were a soft grey. Lupe chuckled softly as he held her close. "They both look very healthy." They were both well-sized, to his eyes. And he had many younger siblings as well as countless nieces and nephews.

"Oh yes." Lupe chuckled, gently pulling his daughter away. She seemed determined to try to suckle. "Do we have any – ah, thank you." Tessai handed him a bottle and he hesitated a moment. "Uh… I've never…?" Shunsui laughed and showed him the proper feeding technique for an infant.

"Not that I did this very often, but I did observe our nannies many times." He said cheerfully and Lupe nodded with a small smile. His daughter immediately started to suckle vigorously, quite hungry from the transition from potential to flesh. "Are you fine with the name?"

"Of course. Kyoraku Amiko." Lupe smiled down at his daughter and Shunsui gently put an arm around him. That name meant a great deal to him. It had once belonged to his older sister, who had died much too young. "And Ukitake Netta." They both watched as Lupe concentrated and Lilinette suddenly popped into existence. She giggled, running up to her namesake.

"Aw Starrk, that's awesome! I love you guys." She said before hugging Juushiro. He smiled, putting an arm around her as he held little Netta. She seemed to be more interested in sleeping than eating.

"I was wondering. How are you going to explain the children?" Kisuke asked curiously and Shunsui smiled as he explained.

"Now that we're all in the open, we're adopting! A dream we've had for a very long time." He said as Juushiro smiled at his child, enchanted by the infant. "Orphanages in the Rukongai would never ask a taichou to fill out paperwork, not that they have much to begin with. We've told everyone about our plans. Juu's family is looking forward to seeing them! My own is a bit, mm, less enthusiastic but my grandmother is insisting we have a party anyway." Shunsui was a bit bemused by it all and Lupe chuckled tiredly.

"The weak point to that story is the children themselves. Reiryoku doesn't always breed true but with active royal blood, you can be certain it will in this case." Kisuke observed and Shunsui grimaced as Juushiro nodded. "Two random infants from the Rukongai would never have those kind of power levels."

"But it will take time for it to show. Hopefully by then, no one will care." Lupe said before yawning. "But… it's another argument against having more… Shunsui, could you take her please?" He asked and Shunsui smiled as he claimed little Amiko. "I would like to rest. So drained…"

"Of course. How are you feeling?" He asked, concerned. Lupe didn't answer, already dropping off, but Lilinette was more than willing to speak for him.

"Like someone used him for a piñata and then sucked all his life out. Don't worry, he's had worse, he'll be fine. Y'know, I wonder what Aizen would think if he knew he's a granddad? Or Hinamori?" Lilinette giggled at the idea. "She doesn't even know about Starrk! That'd be awesome."

"Not really." Juushiro could only imagine poor Momo's reaction. She might eventually be thrilled but at first she would certainly feel violated that Aizen had used her in that way. "Let's take them out of the room and let him sleep." The children were quiet right now, but that might not last.

Lupe needed his rest.