I should be asleep right now, but this is just too much fun.
Review replies;
SOLmaster: I know, right? Jenny plus Iron Man? Awesome! :D Thanks for reading!
TweenisodeOrange: Squidward had to appear somewhere. ;) Thanks for reviewing!
Zim'sMostLoyalServant: I've got a few more cameos in mind. :) I couldn't mention UNIT without mentioning the Doctor, could I? :D Thanks for the review!
LightandDarkness Warrior: I know, right? Thanks very much!
Chapter Six: The Plan
"...live from Amity Park, I'm Lance Thunder."
The long-suffering Amity Park weatherman was on the television, standing in front of what looked like the Manson's house. Behind him, a column of white armoured vehicles rolled by – they were all marked 'GIW.'
"Behind me, you can see the Guys in White moving in to take on the invading ghost army," explained Lance, "I'm standing with a couple of GIW agents now; Operatives K and O, what do you have to say about the crisis?"
The camera turned to the two agents, looking impassively towards the camera.
"The situation is completely under control," said K.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash as a GIW helicopter collided with the upper floor of the Manson house and exploded.
"...that was unmanned," blurted O.
"We are moving into the city under Operation EAGLE HAWK," explained K, "We'll hit them hard and fast from all directions in conjunction with the military. We're coming down Maple and..."
"Are you kidding me?" exclaimed Jimmy.
"What, what's happening?" asked Spongebob, leaning over Jimmy's shoulder.
"He's blurting out his entire plan on live television," replied Jimmy, exasperatedly.
They, Jazz and Sandy were gathered on the roof of the grocery store. Jimmy was watching an old portable TV somebody had abandoned in the store.
He shook his head.
"Okay, let's go over the plan again," he said.
He walked over to the side of the building, looking down. Valerie, Patrick, Carl, Sheen, Chester and AJ were hiding in the buildings, waiting.
"Valerie's team will ambush the Warlord's troops when they come through," he explained, "Once they get identified, the Warlord will think Danny's with them and send everything there way."
"...and we want that why?" asked Spongebob, scratching his head.
"It'll draw them away from Danny's team," replied Jimmy, "They're taking the alley road to Axion Labs – Tucker caught word they're gathering ghost hunters and volunteers over there, and we could use their help. Just in case they get held up, we're gonna be taking the high road, over the rooftops."
"So here's hopin' y'all can jump," said Sandy.
"Most of the buildings here are tightly packed," reassured Jimmy, "And if worse comes to worse, I can use the jetpack to bring us over in groups."
"Great!" exclaimed Spongebob, "What could g-"
Jazz grabbed his mouth and forced it shut.
"Okay, let's get going," nodded Jimmy, "Good luck, everyone."
Valerie crouched under the grocery window, breathing as quietly as she could. Next to her, a nervous Carl stood next to a pile of Purple Flurp cans, shaking one nervously – Patrick was on the other side, his own can in hand.
"You sure those are gonna work?" hissed Valerie.
"Oh, these things dissolve anything," replied Carl, "Just look at Sheen's molars."
"Yeah, I'll take your word for it," said Valerie, wincing.
Outside, she heard the sound of marching. The Warlord's soldiers had arrived.
"...okay, on my mark," she whispered, "Three...two...one...MARK!"
She jumped out of cover and started firing her wrist blaster at the lead soldiers in the column, knocking them to the ground.
Carl launched into a nerdy equivalent of a war cry and hurled the can of Flurp. It fell disappointingly short, but for some reason it exploded and sprayed the ghost troops with the acidic beverage.
Across the road, AJ slapped on a visor-helmet and picked up a laser rifle. He aimed at the soldiers, who were now starting to look for the perpetrators of the ambush. There was a computerised voice – 'Target locked.' – and he pulled the trigger, shooting a volley of laser beams into several of the ghosts.
Chester leapt out of the window (the glass was already broken) and ran screaming at one of the soldiers. He leapt into the air, opened his mouth, and bit into his shoulder.
He then fell to the ground, clutching his teeth and lamenting his poor choice of attack.
This move, however, providing Sheen with the distraction he needed to jump into the street, perform a totally unnecessary roll and blast away at the soldiers with the Cheese Ray, turning his targets into the dairy product.
Patrick sat under the windowsill, drinking Purple Flurp.
The remaining soldiers, having lost all sense of cohesion, broke and ran.
Without a word, Valerie and Carl high-fived.
"Here's what we know."
Fletcher placed a folder on the counter of Tony's penthouse. There had been a brief pause for introductions ("Hi, we're Jenny's weird friends who save people and stuff," said Dani) and clarifications ("That's Dorian Fletcher. He's not really a friend and we don't really trust him, but he can be useful," said Timmy), but otherwise, they had gotten right to business on dealing with their current Warlord problem.
"The Warlord's soldiers are completely immune to standard weapons and ammunition," Fletcher explained, "However, they lack independent thought, they're regimented to a fault and their tactics are frankly Napoleonic."
"So we're basically fighting ultra-durable redcoats," nodded Tony.
"Good way of putting it," shrugged Fletcher, "Knock out their leaders or break up their formations, and they'll run. The shadows are more of a problem..."
"Shadows?" mused Jenny, "Didn't the Man in the White Suit have those?"
"Don't remind me," shuddered Dani.
"Yep, and these are about the same things," nodded Fletcher, "Very dangerous and immune to physical attacks, but they're weak against electricity and light-based attacks."
"Like lasers?" quizzed Timmy.
"Like lasers," nodded Fletcher, "Why? Do you have some?"
"I can get some," shrugged Timmy, "I just need to...access them...from my secret access things...in the bathroom."
He got up and walked out of the room.
"Secret access things?" Tony asked, eyebrow raised.
"Some sort of hologram things," shrugged Fletcher, "Don't ask me, I have no idea."
He shook his head.
"The main thing is that you guys," he pointed to Dani and Jenny, "Need to get back to Amity."
"But the Warlord's here, isn't he?" quizzed Dani.
Fletcher shook his head.
"You have a TV, Mr. Stark?" he asked.
"What channel?" asked Tony.
"629 – Amity Park News," replied Fletcher.
"JARVIS, you heard him," said Tony.
"You couldn't invent a remote, sir?" replied his AI.
Nevertheless, a holographic screen appeared before them. Lance Thunder was on screen, wrapping up his interview with the Guys in White (and trying to ignore the wrecked Manson manor behind him.)
"...and that was Operatives O and K from the Guys in White," he finished, "Now, the studio's just told me that evacuation centres are being moved. We can no longer guarantee a safe exit from Casper High. City Hall is being threatened and evacuees there are being bussed to Axion and Elmerton. We'll keep you updated with..."
"Amity," whispered Dani, horrified.
"Not just that," replied Fletcher, "Switch to BBC America."
The channel changed to a man in a slightly ragged suit, standing on a bridge. Camouflaged vehicles were ferrying soldiers across a lake towards a small neighbourhood backed by a man-made hill, much of which was on fire. Night had fallen, but the background fires lit the sky in an ominous red.
"...standing on Northbourne Avenue. Behind me you can see Australian soldiers moving in to deal with the ghost invasion, a scene being repeated as we speak in New York, Moscow and Beijing. The Governor-General has declared a state of emergency and taken over control of the situation until the status of Parliament can be confirmed. He addressed the media from his temporary seat of government at the airport, calling for national unity in the face of a 'global and existential threat...'"
"Destroyer of worlds," whispered Dani, remembering Zwarte Pete's words.
There was a long silence.
"So, how are we' getting to Amity Park?" blurted Tony, "Because I have a supersonic flying suit of armour, but you can't use it."
"I know a guy," replied Fletcher.
"Sir!"
Napoleon rolled his eyes as Crocker ran up to him. He had been having a nice think, here in the wreckage of the Fenton's garden, and this jumped-up school teacher had had to ruin it.
"Oui," he grumbled.
"One of our units was ambushed," replied Crocker, "Might've been Phantom! What do we do?"
"Where?" Napoleon asked.
Crocker pointed to the west, and Napoleon nodded.
"Monsieur Crocker, you're a teacher, aren't you?" he asked, "Do you know what I was before I was an emperor? Before I was a general?"
Crocker blinked.
"...a Corsican?"
"An artilleryman," replied Napoleon, smirking.
He raised his hands into the sky.
Slowly, one by one, glowing meteors began to descend from the sky above.
Jimmy finished climbing the ladder, joining the rest of his group at the top of the building. He took a second to catch his breath before looking towards their next obstacle. The next building was separated from them by a small alleyway – but it looked jumpable.
"Alright," he asked, "Jump or jet?"
Suddenly there was a massive bang, and he was knocked off his feet.
For a few seconds, he lay dazed on the concrete roof. Then he was dragged to his feet by Jazz.
"We have to run!" she bellowed over the rising racket of explosions, "They're throwing meteors at us!"
Jimmy nodded, dusted himself off and readied himself.
"Jetpack?" gulped Spongebob
"No time, jump!" he shouted.
He ran for the gap, closed his eyes and jumped. For a moment, his heart stopped – then is began to race as he realised he'd made it to the other side. He opened his eyes and turned around. Jazz had crossed, but Spongebob and Sandy were still on the other side.
"Spongebob, come on!" Sandy urged, "You can do it! I'll be right behind you..."
There was another bang, and the building shook. It began to lean backwards.
"Go!" thundered Jimmy.
Spongebob, deciding that standing on a collapsing building was even more dangerous than attempting to jump, grabbed Sandy's hand and bolted towards the gap. He jumped, just as the roof gave way.
Suddenly, everything seemed to play out in slow motion. Jimmy could almost see the arc of their jump in his head.
They're not gonna make it...
He leaned over the gap, reaching out a hand. Spongebob reached back, stretching out as far as he could.
He missed by inches.
Jimmy jolted back as Jazz pulled him away by the collar. Before him, the building collapsed in a pile of rubble, coating him in a layer of dust.
He could just hear the sound of a radio as the meteors died away.
"Valerie here – sorry, we had to run. Where are you guys? What was that..."
"Danny here, we're a few blocks away. We just saw the meteors, you guys okay? Jimmy?"
"Spongebob," whispered Jimmy.
He shook his head numbly, his face pale.
"They-they could be alright," stammered Jazz, "I mean, we've been through worse..."
Jimmy said nothing. Instead, he turned around and walked away as if in a dream.
Sandy opened her eyes and rubbed her head.
"Ugh...well, that was horrible," she groaned, "Still, least I landed on something soft, right Spongebob?"
There was a muffled grunting.
"Spongebob?"
Sandy looked down.
"Oh."
She climbed off of Spongebob's back and stood up, looking around at the small cavern of debris that they were now stuck inside. She looked up, whistling at a large concrete slab above them.
"Reckon that thing saved our lives," she nodded
"Yep," sighed Spongebob.
They looked around.
"But we might have a problem," replied Sandy, "Because we might just be trapped."
AN: I was originally going to end the chapter before confirming Spongebob and Sandy were alive, but then I decided to save cruel cliffhangers for later.
Also, one more Avenger's gonna be in this fic. Guess which one!