(A/N: Yeah, the 'Pilot' is pretty much just getting used to the characters and their interactions. But it's still funny!)

You see the living room, where Chace and Kenny are watching TV, laughing hysterically. In the kitchen, Chef is cooking something, but it catches on fire. The laugh track is heard.

TERESA: (At the kitchen table) .... So then, I almost hit him with the car, but luckily he got out of the way in time.

JAMIE: Are you serious?! (Laughs)

FRED: One time, one time, I, um, served in jury duty, and, I got to, I got to fill out paper-work. Yes! (Laugh Track) I'm funny!

DJ is talking to Lauren and Carrie.

DJ: Bunny and LK sem like good friends.

LAUREN: Now if only Derek were as social as his rat.

DJ: Actually, he's made friends with Noah.

CARRIE: Huh, he seemed too nice to be that jerk's friend.

LAUREN: Seriously, Noah is a jerk!

DJ: They play the same online game.

In the guys' room....

NOAH: So, you're seriously LK the Great?

DEREK: I'll get out my laptop and show you. But you're character's okay, too. (Laugh Track) Um, when did I become funny? (Laugh track increases, and Derek hides under his bed)

NOAH: Behold, the great LK. (Laugh Track again)

TERRY: Will you two shut up about that stupid game.

DEREK: (Getting up) Sorry.

NOAH: Wow, you're scared of that moron? He probably feels bad that he dosen't understand the concept of a video game.

TERRY: What?!

DEREK: Noah, I think that you just got us killed. (Laugh Track, and he hides under the bed again)

______________________________________________________________________________

(Confession-Garage-Thing)

-TERRY: Derek and Noah are gonna DIE!

-DEREK: Me and Noah are gonna DIE!

-FRED: (Singing) Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger....

______________________________________________________________________________

Fighting noises are heard in the living room.

DJ: What's that?

LAUREN: It's probably somebody bullying Derek. The runt is always picked on.

CASSIE: Or Noah's getting a good thrashing.

Owen, Izzy, and Lightning are in the closet, planning something.

LIGHTNING: .... And then, Izzy, go outside and chase the pizza man away until the 30 minutes is up. That way, we'll have ten thousand boxes of pizza for FREE!

OWEN: I like that plan!

IZZY: I like you!

Izzy and Owen make-out. Laugh-track.

LIGHTNING: (Gets out a video camera) This is GOLD! (Gets an E-Mail from Chris on his phone) Right away, boss!

Lightning comes out of the closet, and makes an announcement.

LIGHTNING: Attention, Roommates! Today, we will all go to the local pool!

EZIKIEL: But I thought that we were supposed to get to know each other, Eh.

JESSE: Shuttup, Zeke! We're going to a pool party! Whoo-Hoo!

LIGHTNING: Now, everyone, GET IN THE FAMILY VAN!

Everyone rushes out except for Lauren and Nikki. Noah and Derek come downstairs, unscathed. However, Derek has no pack-pack.

LAUREN: Guys? You're not dead?

NOAH: Nah, I threw Derek's pack at him. That thing is heavier than it looks.

LAUREN: Everything's heavy to you, Noah.

NOAH: I'll pretend that I didn't hear that.

NIKKI: So, Noah, where's Terry.

Terry comes down with a black eyes, and tosses Derek his book bag. Derek falls down once he catches it, triggering the laugh track.

NOAH: Learned your lesson, Terrence?

TERRY: Don't call me that!

He chases Noah, who is screaming like a girl, out the door.

At the pool....

Fred Fredburger is in the baby pool blowing bubbles, Lillie, Haley, Emma, and Lindsay are getting tans, Derek is in the hot tub alone, and every one else is playing or swimming in the big pool.

HAROLD: Zeke, wanna join our volley-ball game? We need one more to make the teams even.

EZIKIEL: Sure, eh.

LILLIE: Hey, girls, have you ever noticed how cute he is?

EMMA: Who? Do you still like Fred?

LILLIE: Yes. But that's not the point. I'm talking about Derek.

LINDSAY: Yeah.... I can't really talk about guys. I'm sorta dating Timmy.

EMMA: Nah. He looks nerdy.

HALEY: Actually, when you mention it.... He is sorta cute. Not that hot, but still.

LILLIE: He seems sort of shy. (Giggles) This'll be fun!

EMMA: Yeah.... No thanks. I'm staying here.

The two girls get on each side of Derek in the hot tub, too close for his comfort.

LILLIE: Hey, Derek.

DEREK: Um, hi?

LILLIE: That rat you had was adorable.

DEREK: So I've been told.

LILLIE: Are we adorable.

DEREK: I dunno. I guess?

HALEY: Hey, you don't look so bad either. In fact, (inches closer) you're kind of cute, too.

(Haley and Lillie giggle while Derek wishes that he was somewhere else)

DEREK: I got to go now. (Starts to get up, but Lillie pulls him back down, in a position close to her and holding her hand)

HALEY: Why are you in such a hurry?

Meanwhile, Harold, DJ, and Ezikiel are looking at the hot tub from the pool.

DJ: Wow, Derek's a chick-magnet.

______________________________________________________________________________

(Confession-Garage-Thing)

-LILLIE: Okay, it's not like we like him more than any other guys, but come on! His reaction to us flirting with him was so cute!

-HALEY: Ditto. And funny.

-DEREK: I don't like it when girls do that. Don't get me wrong, I like girls, but not flirty ones like those two.

-EMMA: Those two are crazy. I only flirt with guys that are hot.

-DJ: Derek is so lucky!

-LK: (In rat language) derek getz all nervus arund gurlz. he needz sumwun hoo wel taik it slow. i no, hez a weerd guy. and dat weerd elifant keapz askin me fo' nachoz.

-FRED: Yes!

______________________________________________________________________________

Fay is swimming against Terry in a race, while Noah is reading a book. Nikki approaches him, and sits next to him.

NIKKI: Look at these morons!

NOAH: Yeah, what I've been thinking my whole life.

NIKKI: I'm guessing I'm gonna be voted off early for, "acting like a jerk".

NOAH: Ditto.

Owen cannonballs into the pool, sending everyone in the pool into space, and splashing everyone outside the pool.

FRED: (Takes his head out of the water for a moment) Yes! (Starts blowing bubbles again)

TERESA: (In space) I think we might just die here.

HAROLD: Farewell, creul world.

EZEKIEL: Quit being so dramatic, eh.

HAROLD: Fine! GOSH!

They then all fall screaming right back into the pool.

TERRY: Way to go, Owen. I almost won!

FAY: Dream on!

IZZY: That was awesome, Owen! Now let me try! (Dives into the water.)

NOAH: (Drying off) That was annoying.

NIKKI: Tell me about it.

NOAH: Hey! Where's my book?!

KIM: (Holds Noah's book high in the air) You got to reach for it!

NOAH: Give that back! (Keeps jumping up to get his book)

NIKKI: (Sighs, and grabs the book right out of Kim's hands.) Here. (Gives it to Noah)

KIM: DANGIT! (Runs away.)

NOAH: Um.... Thanks.

NIKKI: No problem.

DEREK: (Approaches Owen) Hey, Owen. Thanks for that splash.

OWEN: Why?

DEREK: We all ran out. Basically, you saved me from being cornered by two crazy girls.

LAUREN: You weren't enjoying that?

TERESA: Most guys I know would say-

EVERY GUY AT THE POOL (Except for Derek): LUCKY!

DEREK: I don't like awkward situations. (Walks away)

LAUREN: Well, now we know ONE thing about him!

(Stay tuned for more, "bonding"!)