(A/N): Here is chapter 12. It took longer than I originally predicted to write it, so sorry it's a bit late. Thank you so much for reading this!

It was well past 11 o'clock when Takigawa heard the knock on his door. By now, the sky was black and unwelcoming. An unexpected rainstorm had begun suddenly, and the air was unusually cold for the middle of April. Watching as the rain lashed angrily down onto the concrete streets, Takigawa had been turning the same questions over and over in his mind for a long time. And all the questions were about John, his amnesia and what he was hiding from Takigawa.

For one, who was Kazuki? John had denied knowing him when Takigawa spoke to him earlier on the phone. Yet Takigawa was sure this was a lie. The way John had said the name, the look in his eye when he had mistaken Takigawa for this Kazuki person…he had seemed relieved, more than that, happy…so to say he did not know this person was surely a lie.

Then there was the question of the notes Takigawa had found. Apparently, a female spirit – Sayomi – had warned him about a colleague. Who was this person? Furthermore, there was the case of the spirit of a man on the camera screens that John had seen, and a vision that no one else had seen. According to the notes he had made, John thought this man was someone from…a burning building. What exactly had he seen? And why was he keeping it a secret?

So when someone knocked at his door, Takigawa started as he snapped out of his thoughtful daze. He faltered for a moment, wondering who would be visiting at this hour. One of the members of the band, maybe? Perhaps someone had finally found the missing speaker, after they had convinced the lead singer it had disappeared. While he struggled to think who would be at the door, the knocking came again. Rapid and urgent, they eventually got louder and louder.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" Irritated, Takigawa strode hastily to his front door and unlocked it. As he swung it open rather violently, his ill-temper ceased and changed swiftly to worry.

"John-kun?" The young foreigner was standing at the door, and his face was white and ashen.

"Um, hey…" His voice was barely audible.

"Are you ok?" Takigawa could not hide the concern from his voice. "You look so pale."

John swallowed and stared at the floor.

"I, er…." Then he raised his head and looked swiftly around him, behind him.

"Would it be ok if, um…if I came in? Just quickly? Please?" He added on the last words as if he was afraid of being turned away.

"Sure, of course." Takigawa ushered John inside. Something was wrong. He had never seen John look so nervous.

Now it was John who stood by the window, staring out into the rain. In silence, Takigawa watched him intently, bemused by his cautious and almost panicked behaviour.

Coughing slightly, he tried to break the tense atmosphere. "Do you, er…want some tea?"

This is what Mai must feel like all the time, he thought to himself.

Strangely, at the mention of tea, John visibly flinched. "Um…no thanks. I'm fine."

Takigawa frowned. "Oh, ok. 'You want something else to drink?"

John shook his head gently, then took a deep, quiet breath. Exhaling, he shut his eyes, and when he opened them, a new, scared determination was in place.

"Can I…talk to you about something?"

"Yeah, sure. What is it?"

"It's…about my amnesia."

Takigawa froze. His amnesia?

"…Come sit down." Pushing a variety of objects off a sofa, he beckoned John over. John hesitated, then walked slowly to him.

"Is it ok? That…we talk about this?" He sounded unsure as he sat down.

Takigawa nodded reassuringly. "Of course." He sat down beside the priest.

John pursed his lips. "…I don't know where to start."

"Start at the very beginning.

I took a deep breath to try and calm myself. Should I really be doing this? Was I endangering Takigawa by telling him about what had happened to me? Everything that I knew? Then again, my choices were running out. About an hour after the colleague had left my apartment, I had gone to the police station and told them what happened. They did not believe me, and thought I was simply 'attention seeking'. And I needed to tell someone, someone who would believe me. I had no idea where Sinead was, as she was not picking up her calls, despite her previous message that she was coming over to Japan. As for the rest of my family, somehow I could not bring myself to tell them. Every time I had worked up enough courage, it would suddenly dissipate as soon as I picked up the phone. Takigawa seemed the only person I was comfortable with confiding in, and the only person who might believe me.

"I…I can remember…some details about what happened."

Takigawa's eyes widened. "What?! How much?!"

"Not much." My fingers played with the bandage around my neck. "I was…in this building. Now that I think about it….it might have been a hospital, or a doctor's clinic."

"What makes you think so?"

"There was this smell. Of sterilised floors. I could just about make it out against –" I faltered, and shuddered. "Against the smoke."

The information was out now. And with each word, I felt more secure. Someone knew, someone who would understand and believe my account. I began to tell him everything, about the fire and the blood that stained the floor. Soon, I was telling him about the man.

"There was a man." My gaze averted to the side as I recalled the memory. "He was wearing a lab coat. Like a doctor. And he was telling me to run away."

"What did this man look like?"

"He…" I frowned. "He…I can't…I'm not sure. But I think…the man I saw on the screens in that abandoned house, they're the same people. I'm sure of it."

"How so?"

"I don't…I don't know. When I try to remember the man from the building, I can't remember his facial features. But I'm sure they're the same people."

I told him how he led me outside, where we were surrounded by forest. And how, looking back, I saw the furnace consuming the building.

"What happened then?" Takigawa's voice was soft.

I stared at the floor again, and guilt overwhelmed me. "The man died."

"What?"

"He died. He told me to run, and then he was still and he wasn't breathing. And…" I glanced at Takigawa for a mere snatch of a second before turning away again.

"What did you do?"

"I ran." I shook his head. "I had no idea what the hell was happening. I didn't know where I was, why I was there. So I just ran like he told me to."

I fell silent again. For a moment, Takigawa did not force him into speaking again.

"I should have helped him."

"John, there was nothing you could do." Takigawa interrupted me, placing a hand on my shoulder. The movement made me jump, but his words were sincere and calmed me. He did not look angry or disgusted.

"So you ran." Takigawa urged me to continue the recollection. "Where did you go?"

"Into the forest. I kept on tripping and coughing up…God, I don't know what. And then…I could hear voices. And another man was coming."

"Another man?"

"Yes. But…I was scared. I don't know why. But I was scared and I ran away faster from him. And eventually, I was out of the forest and…at a cliff edge. And a river was at the bottom."

Takigawa's face became grim. He knew what was coming.

"And a man followed me. He was carrying a gun."

"A gun?! Did he hurt you?"

"No. He told me to come away from the edge of the cliff. But I didn't. He terrified me. So…" For a moment, I was tempted to lie; to say that I fell into the river. But something inside me stopped me. I was tired of keeping secrets and lying. It only served to fuel my fear and isolation. Instead, I looked at him directly, and said the words I had been hiding.

"I jumped off the cliff."

Takigawa stared at me in shock. "…What?"

I repeated the words firmly, almost defiantly. "I jumped off the cliff."

For a moment, Takigawa was speechless. He could only stare, open-mouthed at me.

Finally, he managed to overcome his shock. "…Ok. So you jumped off. Then what?"

I shrugged. "I fell unconscious. The only thing I remember after that is waking up at the river and repeating the name Mattaku, like I told you."

Takigawa let out a breath. "So…you think it was a hospital?"

I nodded. "I can't say for sure." The smell still scared me, even after working at the hospital. I just didn't know why.

"John…is there anything else you want to tell me?" Takigawa suddenly spoke up. He looked suspicious.

Enhaling sharply, I tried to summon the words, to tell him about the colleague, but I could not find them. All I could give was an excuse. "Well…it's just…you might not want to know. And, well…" My words trailed off weakly.

Takigawa shook his head. His eyes were soft and yet intent. "Tell me."

Nodding meekly, my hand rose to the bandage around my neck.

"Um…when I got home from hospital," my voice was a lot quieter than before, "I saw this on my neck." Slowly, tentatively, I began to unwind the bandage. And when I removed it, when Takigawa saw the green mark around my neck, his eyes widened with shock.

"Who did this?"

"I don't know. But I found out something recently. Remember that dream Mai had?"

"About the man who crashed his car?"

"Yeah, that one. Well, that was Doctor Nakumura. The man who treated me when I was in hospital."

"Really?"

"Yes. And I found out…his death wasn't an accident. Someone caused that crash."

Takigawa paled. "Someone caused it? Who?"

"I don't know his name…I just call him the colleague."

Frowning, Takigawa asked, "The colleague? Why that?"

"He called into all of my work places during March, pretending to be a colleague of mine and claiming that I was going on a business trip. To cover up that…there's this month gap where no one heard from me, because I was apparently on this business trip. And during this time, I don't know what happened."

"Oh…"

"And…well…" I wrapped my arms around myself, in a defensive position. "Someone kept on sending me orange lilies. As a sign of hate. Then I was talking to Father Toujou in the church and when I left…" I swallowed. "He was there. He talked to me, introduced himself to me."

Once I had started, I couldn't stop. I told him everything. That he had watched me on the streets on the night of the news announcement. That he had come to Doctor Nakumura's funeral service. He had watched me as I slept at night. He had broken into my apartment, changed my security pin number, waited for me to arrive. That he planned to kill me.

When my account had finished, I realised that I had begun to shake at some point. Takigawa remained silent, and neither of us breathed a word for a while. Breathing deeply, trying to calm myself, I looked to Takigawa. His expression was blank, as if he was still trying to comprehend what he had heard.

"…Have you told the police?" Finally, he spoke up.

"They didn't believe me."

Takigawa opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, sighing exasperatedly.

"…I…what are you going to do?" He asked.

"I don't know." That was the problem. There was not much I could do, not if the police didn't believe me. And each possible option seemed extreme or ineffective.

"I could leave the country. Head back to Australia."

Takigawa nodded. "You could."

"If I was to leave for Australia…what if he follows me?"

"Wouldn't that be…unpractical for him?" Takigawa pointed out.

"I know. But…I don't think he sees it that way. He's a sadist. I'm sure of it. The way he just…revealed himself like that, the lilies, the message from the hospital, his manner of speaking and the way he looked at me…" I shuddered. "He liked watching my terror. He found it amusing. Appealing. And he told me…he wants me to pay, he wants to punish me. I don't know what I did, but I angered him. And he will make sure I am punished, wherever I am."

The thought was a terrifying one, but I had acknowledged it already. He would try to kill me, wherever I was, no matter what happened.

"…The only real reason you're alive now, and not in a tragic accident like dear Nakumura-san, is because it's rather inconvenient for me. If you were to die suddenly, there would be many people who would doubt your death. And I can't just kill them off as well. It starts to get a bit messy if you do that. No. You don't have to worry about your inevitable death just yet, John. Not for a while…"

As soon as he had managed to find a way to get rid of me, a way that made no one suspicious, and a way that amused him, I would die. So that left only one option left to do.

"Well? What will you do?"

"I need to find out what happened. Who this man is, who Mattaku is, what happened during March. Everything." I had to prove his existence, and whatever secret he was keeping, to the police. It wouldn't be easy. But I couldn't think of another alternative.

"That won't be easy."

"It won't, I know that. But I have to." I looked up at Takigawa. Like before, his face was unreadable. A thought struck me suddenly. This was such a dark situation…was I going to endanger him? Was he angry? Did he even believe me?

I asked him this.

"Why would I be angry?"

I shrugged. "If you don't want to be involved with this anymore, just tell me."

Takigawa took hold of my shoulders. Immediately, I tensed in momentary panic. However, he did not hit or attack me. He just spoke softly.

"John, I will not stand by while this bastard hunts you down. Do you think I would really do that?"

"He's trying to punish me. What if he tries to punish you too?"

"I don't care. You're my friend. I can't just sit and watch. Let me help you."

These were the words that, inside, unknowingly, I had been desperate to hear. That there was finally someone I could rely on. Someone who could help me. Someone I could trust. And right now, trust seemed to be a rare, distant ideal – I could not trust the police, I could not trust the doctors. My relatives were far away, in different countries, and my friends were unaware. Except Takigawa. I could trust him.

"Look, I know you won't want to, but you should really consider telling Kazuya-san and the others. They could help you. I mean, this is Oliver Davis we're talking about. And Mai has already had a dream relating to your situation."

I nodded. He was right.

"I know it will be a hard thing to do. But let's just leave that until another day, ok? You look exhausted. Stay at mine tonight, I don't want you going back to your apartment if that creep can get in there."

"Yeah." I couldn't agree more – there was no way I was sleeping there again.

In the end, I found sitting in the corner once more, with a clock ticking loudly on the wall. The hands read 1 o'clock. Takigawa had let me sleep in a spare bedroom of his, but somehow I could not sleep in the bed. It made me feel vulnerable; exposed. After an hour of tossing and turning, I slipped out and nestled myself in the corner. Something about it made me feel a lot safer. I would have to do something about this – I couldn't keep on sleeping in a corner, people would think I was mad. But I could worry about that later. I had other things on my mind.

How would I face up to Kazuya, Mai and the others? What would they say? More importantly, how was I going to prove the existence of the colleague? As long as the police refused to believe my story, it made everything a whole lot more difficult. I had no protection from them, no help in discovering what happened, nothing. And how would I be able to find out what really happened? The colleague would try and stop me, I knew this. At least I had a few starting points – Itsuke Watanabe, Sayomi's grandfather. From the looks of things, it sounded as if his car accident was caused by the colleague, just like Doctor Nakumura's. And the colleague only would have killed Itsuke Watanabe if he knew information that he shouldn't have done, and was threatening to share it, again like Doctor Nakumura. What's more, I needed to find out what Mattaku was. The colleague did not know I had remembered a snippet of information about it, so this would be an advantage.

And finally, there was a place that I knew I needed to check out. The abandoned house, where I saw Sayomi and the man form the screens. No one would buy a house in such poor state, like Ayako had said. And thinking back to what Saymoi told me, it was most likely the colleague who had bought this house. What was he hiding there?

Eventually, the stress and uncertainty of the day began to fade away. Despite everything, I could feel myself beginning to fall asleep. I was just so exhausted…

The day is the 2nd of December. Outside, the air is freezing, and the clouds are heavily overcast. I won't be surprised if it snows again. The ground is covered in slush and ice, dirty and blackened by car exhaust and fumes. But, if the weather is going to be like it was a few weeks ago, then there should be a new layer of fresh, white snow on the ground.

The problem with snow it that it causes more accidents than most times in the year. The hospital is completely crowded every single day. The waiting rooms are filled with people, and the ambulances are constantly being rushed in and out to deal with emergency calls. All the nurses, doctors, technicians and even the janitors are forced to work more days and longer hours during the winter months.

Today, I have to be able to clean the rooms of patients, who have left, as quickly as I can for the next patient. It is not an easy task, when the room has to be fully sanitised and cleaned. Any machines and heart monitors have to be tested and checked before the nurse can move on. If it was any other time of the year, then it would not be such a stressful task, and a task normally carried out by the cleaners. But since there are more patients needing beds than there are beds available, and the hospital is short staffed on cleaners, it means the nurses have to help and work even quicker than normally.

Finally, I reach the last room before my shift ends. There are two beds, separated by a thin curtain. Right now, it is open wide, and the fabric is fraying by the hangers. In the other bed, a patient is lying with bandages wrapped around his head, while talking to one of the doctors.

Unfortunately, someone had reported the heart monitor as being broken, so I have to verify this before calling in the technician. As I sit in front of it, pressing buttons and flicking switches as hastily as I can, the patient in the other bed calls over to me.

"Hey."

I call back simply. "Hey." I don't really have time to speak, I have to try and get this machine sorted.

For a moment, the patient says nothing as I battle with the machine. He speaks up again after a while.

"What're you doing?"

"Sorting out a broken machine."

"Oh. Sounds fun." The doctor is talking to another nurse, so the patient calls over to me again.

"You a nurse?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm…that's strange."

I ignore him. The doctor begins to talk to the patient again, and I am saved from his attempts at starting conversation. As for the machine, it really is broken. There must be a wire broken somewhere in the sensors.

One of the janitors enters the room. A small, stocky man, his name is Masaru Sato.

"Is this the one?" He asks.

I nod. "The sensors are broken."

Grumbling to himself, he walks up to the heart monitor and regards it with a sullen expression.

"I swear, we spend more money on fixing these things than we do buying them." He complains. "Well, they're beyond me. The technician can fix it. I'll just help move it out the room."

After he leaves, the doctor speaks up snidely.

"You know, you nurses complain a lot whenever you have to clean all the rooms."

"If you were doing it, you'd be complaining." I reply to him. "And you can't criticise us for complaining. All you ever do is complain about the food in the canteen."

The doctor grins. "It really is overpriced, though."

I nod in agreement. The doctor, carrying a clipboard filled with papers, hurries from the room. I am about to leave when the patient speaks up again.

"You're not from here, are you?" He asks.

"No." I look at him. He is a young man, perhaps in his twenties, and he is dressed in one of the hospital gowns. Though his head is covered in bandages, his face looks healthy and defined.

"You don't look Japanese yourself." I remark. His eyes are grey, for one thing, and his skin is very pale.

"Right." He smiles. "I'm half-Japanese, half-American. What about you?"

"I'm from Australia." I tell him.

He grins. "Oh, an ozzie? What brings you here, then? I thought that foreigners weren't allowed to be nurses. Only people from Indonesia and the Philippines, right?" He is speaking in English now, so I do the same.

"They made an exception for me. It's complicated."

"Wow. That's rare, making an exception."

"Why, do you have a problem with it?" Many doctors seem to around here. The patient is right; normally foreigners aren't allowed to become nurses or doctors. So when I managed to get a job as a nurse, it caused a lot of prejudice from the other doctors.

"No. Just curious, that's all. I saw you, and I wanted to know what you were doing here.

"I could ask the same. Why are you wrapped in bandages?"

"Oh…" He looks embarrassed. "Well, I slipped and fell on the ice. Hit my head. And, like an idiot, I just brushed it off. Then, what, a couple of hours later, I collapsed, was brought to hospital and was operated on after it turns out I was suffering from brain bleeding."

I grimace. "You were lucky, then. Not many people get out of that situation alive."

"Well, I've learnt my lesson now." He sighs. "They're keeping me in for a day or so to keep an eye on me." He tilts his head as he looks me up and down briefly.

"I'm guessing you stick out a bit here, don't you?" He comments. "What with the whole blond hair blue eyes thing?"

"Yeah. I'm used to it."

He peers at my identity card. "Sooo…John Brown. Nurse Brown. Where you from in Australia?"

"I lived in New South Wales."

"Isn't that near Sydney?"

I roll my eyes. "Sydney is in New South Wales, but I didn't live particularly near it."

The patient chuckles. "I guess a lot of people assume that, huh? That you live in Sydney because you're Australian."

"More than you'd think."

"Well, what do you think of the snow?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm guessing you don't get much snow in Australia. What with the desert in the middle."

"Well...it's ok, I guess…It causes a lot of accidents, though." I look at my watch. I really should be going.

"What's the matter? You leaving?" The patient asks.

"Yeah, my shift officially ends in a few minutes." I dread the cold, wet ice outside.

"Oh…well, I'll see you around, Nurse Brown."

"You too…" I peer at the clipboard on the end of his bed, where his medical details and personal information is listed.

"…Kazuki." With that, I leave the room.

Chapter 13: