*So, this is going to be a pretty important chapter. Not something you're gonna want to miss. We're finally getting to the point where questions are being answered. Happy Reading!

(Kate)

Kate would have stayed up all night with Castle's murder board if it hadn't been for Martha. It had been Martha who finally turned off the smart board and led Kate back to bed. Kate had eventually fallen back asleep, helped along by the feeling of Martha's fingers running through her hair. She woke up alone around dawn, still angry and conflicted, but more refreshed than she'd been in weeks.

She dressed quietly in her clothes from the day before, trying not to wake Martha or Alexis. She scrawled a quick note to them, explaining that she had to be to work early. That was a lie-she was technically only on call for the next couple of days-but she needed time and space to process what she'd learned the night before. Mostly what she needed was to get away from the murder board before it drew her back in.

Kate was still unsure of where exactly she was going until the driver of the cab she'd hailed asked for an address. She immediately gave him the address of Burke's office, surprising herself. The drive was shorter than she'd realized, and far too soon, she was paying the cabbie with trembling hands and entering her therapist's office.

Dr. Burke was coming out of his office just as Kate entered the waiting room. "Kate, this is a surprise," he commented. "I was under the impression that our next session wasn't for another two days."

"No, I know," she said, looking down. "But something happened last night, and I need to talk about it before it swallows me whole."

Burke nodded, checking his watch. "I have some time before my first appointment," he said. "I was just going to get a cup of coffee. You can wait in my office, if you'd like."

Kate considered tagging along to get coffee for herself, but she decided against it. She was still jittery and nervous, and a caffeine fix wasn't going to help. So she nodded and slipped into his office, taking her usual seat for a few moments before she stood up and started pacing. She forced herself to sit back down again, but she spent the next few minutes alternating between pacing the room and sitting on the edge of her chair.

Kate was pacing again when Burke entered his office. She sat down again and tried to calm her rattled nerves. Burke waited through a few minutes of silence before speaking up. "So, Kate, you said you have something that you need to talk about."

She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah." She filled him in on the events of the past two days; her talks with Hannah and Will, arresting Paula, spending the night in Castle's bed, and finding the murder board.

Burke's eyebrows shot up when she told him about the murder board. "And how did that did that discovery make you feel, Kate?"

Kate scoffed. "Angry," she answered immediately. She paused, then added, "hurt, betrayed, I guess. Castle knew how important my mom's case is to me, and he kept all that information from me for months." She sighed, blinking back tears. "I felt like a child," she admitted. "Like he thought that I was too impulsive and reckless to be trusted with that information."

Burke studied her for a moment. "I want you to think back to September, Kate," he instructed. "If Castle hadn't kept you in the dark, what do you think you would have done? How would you have handled the knowledge that that information existed?"

Kate stared down at her lap for a minute before answering. "It would have consumed me," she murmured. "I would have dove headfirst down that rabbit hole, and I may not have ever come back out." She sighed again. "I understand why Castle didn't give me that information back then. I wouldn't have been ready to deal with it in a safe way. I would have gotten myself killed digging into it."

Burke nodded. "But you're still angry," he observed.

"Maybe angry isn't the best way to describe it," Kate mused. "I think I'm hurt more than anything else. It hurts that Castle didn't trust me enough with my own life to be honest with me."

"But isn't that the exact reason you lied to him?" Burke asked. "You didn't trust yourself not to hurt him, so you weren't honest."

Kate huffed. "The situations are completely different," she protested. "I needed time to process, to heal. I was trying to be better for him so that he wouldn't get hurt. I was protecting him."

"And, from what you told me, it sounds like he was trying to protect you," Burke countered. "Perhaps he also needed time to process and to heal. And maybe the best way he could think to do that was to do everything in his power to keep you from being hurt again."

"It still hurts," she muttered.

"Understandably so," Burke replied. "Being lied to by the people we love hurts. But the hurt can be forgiven if the love is strong enough."

Kate nodded. "Thank you," she said. She stood up and stretched. "I should go. Thank you for taking the time to see me."

"It's what I'm here for," Burke said, giving her a gentle smile. "One more thing, Kate. Don't shut out Castle's family because of this. From what you've told me, they've been an incredible help to you these past few weeks. Don't throw that all away over one secret."

"I won't," Kate promised. "Thank you, again."

When Kate finally arrived back at her apartment, she was immediately confronted by her father.

"Katie, where were you?" he asked. "I've been trying to call you for over an hour. We were worried sick."

"I went to see Doctor Burke, and then I went for a walk," she explained as she toed off her boots and kicked them into the hall closet. "Wait a minute," she said, closing the closet door. "We?"

"Martha and I," he said, fixing her with a pointed stare. "She filled me in on what happened last night when I stopped by the loft this morning with a change of clothes for you." He raised an eyebrow at her, and she ducked her head guiltily.

"I couldn't stay there, Dad," Kate explained. "Not with that thing just sitting there in his office. I wouldn't have been able to resist it. It would have sucked me right back down, and I might not have been able to find my way out this time." She looked up at him, blinking back tears again. "I think that's why he kept it from me. He knew that I wouldn't stop until it destroyed me, and…" She let out a shaky breath. "And he loved me too much to let that happen."

Her dad wrapped his arms around her. "I know, sweetheart," he murmured. "I understand." He pulled back a little, smiling at her. "Martha does, too. She's not upset with you. In fact," he said, pulling away completely, "she sent me back with these." He handed her Castle's pajamas, the ones she'd worn the night before. "She said they're yours to keep." He pulled her in for another hug. "Now, why don't you go change into those, I'll order some take-out, and we can spend the day watching that show you and your mother were obsessed with. That Temptation Drive, or whatever it's called."

"Temptation Lane, Dad," Kate corrected, grinning. "And that sounds perfect."

"I figured you wouldn't say 'no' to that," her dad said. He took her hand and squeezed it. "You'll get through this, Katie. You'll be okay."

"I know, Dad," she whispered, squeezing his hand back. "I know."

(Ryan)

Ryan followed Esposito down the stairs to Mulrooney's front door, stopping him before he entered. "I just gotta know before we go in there," he said. "Does Beckett know about this?"

Espo shook his head. "Didn't want to get her hopes up."

Ryan nodded and they stepped inside the pub, the dim, smoky atmosphere a stark contrast to the bright winter afternoon. Bill Mulrooney, the owner, looked up from his place behind the bar. "Detectives," he greeted them, "what can I do you for? Don't suppose you're just stoppin' by for an afternoon pick-me-up?"

"'Fraid not, Mr. M.," Ryan replied, taking a seat at the bar. "We've got a few more questions to ask you about James Avery."

The old man nodded, leaning on the bar. "I'll see what I can do, but, like I told you last time, there's not much else I can tell you boys."

"We talked with Hannah Foster a few days ago," Espo started. "She told us that something happened around New Year's that had Avery real jumpy and paranoid. Any idea what that might be about?"

Bill thought quietly for a few moments. "Now that you mention it, something did go down here on New Year's Eve," he said. "Jamie got into it with some guy. Nothin' I had to break up, mind you, but they were having a pretty intense conversation. Looked to me like the other guy was threatening Jamie. Will and Hannah showed up a few minutes later, and everything went back to normal."

Ryan exchanged a look with Esposito. He pulled the sketch and the surveillance photo out and handed it to Bill. "Could that be the guy that Jamie was fighting with?"

Bill nodded as he studied it. "Oh yeah, that's definitely him. Right down to the camo pants and jacket. Thought he might've been military at first."

"Do you remember if he bought anything that night?" Esposito asked. "Maybe paid with a credit card or a check?"

The bartender chuckled. "Course he bought somethin'," he replied. "He was in a pub on New Year's Eve. I remember serving him a couple of drinks myself before the fight. He had expensive taste. Only wanted this fancy foreign beer. We didn't have it, so he had to settle for domestic."

"Do you remember how he paid?" Ryan prompted.

Bill nodded again. "Oh yeah. He paid cash, pulled a huge wad of bills out of his wallet, peeled a few off and told me to keep the change." He scoffed. "Eh, he was no high-roller, though. He was trying a little too hard to act like he wasn't showin' off. My guess, he withdrew half his bank account from the ATM across the street before he walked in."

"And when was that?" Ryan asked.

"Hmm…around eight, eight-thirty, I'd say," Bill said. "He was here for about an hour before he tried approaching Jamie."

Ryan and Esposito sighed simultaneously and stood to leave. "Thanks for the help, Mr. M.," Ryan said, holding out his hand. The old man took it gratefully.

"Not a problem, boys," he replied. "Hopefully, next time you come in, it won't be on business."

Ryan and Esposito nodded. "Hopefully," they chorused.

Ryan started when a cup of coffee plunked down on the desk beside him. He looked up to see Esposito standing there with his own mug. "You getting anywhere with that?" he asked, nodding to the computer screen.

Ryan shook his head, taking a sip of coffee. "Not yet, but I'm only now hitting seven pm. There might be another hour or more of footage before we get him on camera."

"Or," Espo started, "he could have gone to a different ATM entirely. In which case, this is a dead end."

Ryan sighed, taking another drink. "Well, we'll find out soon," he remarked. "You get a hold of Beckett?" he asked.

"I called, but her dad answered," Esposito replied. "Said she was passed out on the couch, but that he'd let her know what was goin' on before she went to bed."

Ryan nodded, turning back to the computer and hitting play. The footage sped by, minute after minute of nothing, until the timestamp hit 8:06 pm. Ryan hit the pause button before Espo could say anything. He turned to face his partner. There was an incredulous smile on Espo's face, that he knew was mirrored on his own. "We found him."

One short, tense phone call to the bank that owned the ATM later, Ryan was bursting into Gates' office. "We got him," he said without preamble. Gates looked up in surprise as he slapped a DMV photo of their suspect down on her desk. "Matthias Gatlin, 36, just released from prison in December. Esposito's running down his last known address now."

"And you're sure this is our man?" Gates asked.

"We're sure," Ryan asserted. "It's him."

(Kate)

Kate jerked straight up in bed, breathing hard. She brought a trembling hand up to wipe away the tears left over from her dream. She cursed under her breath as she tried to slow her heart rate. She'd really thought the nightmares were getting better.

She was about to get out of bed to get water when her phone rang, startling her. Kate let out an involuntary shriek, clapping a hand over her mouth and closing her eyes. She fumbled for her phone, answering it without checking her caller id.

"Beckett," she breathed, her voice sounding shaky and unstable to her own ears. There was no way the person on the other line wouldn't know she'd been crying.

"Hello?" she ventured when her initial greeting was met with silence. Still nothing. "Hello?" she repeated, annoyance building slowly.

She heard someone take a breath and then a familiar voice whispered, "Kate…"

Kate froze. It sounded like…no, she told herself. It couldn't be. He was…wasn't he?

"Who is this?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper. She was trembling with anticipation, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. She was almost scared to hear the answer. Almost.

"Who do you think?" Castle asked, a teasing lilt in his voice. She could just see the amused smirk on his face, the sparkle in eyes.

Kate tried to steady her breathing, but could only manage breathy little sobs brought on by a tidal wave of emotion. "Castle," she whimpered, happiness bubbling up. "Oh god, Castle," she said, taking in a shuddering breath. "I thought…I thought you were…" She broke down completely, overwhelmed by the joy of hearing his voice again.

"I know," Castle replied, his voice cracking slightly. "I know, and I'm so sorry, Kate. I'm so sorry."

"I love you," she blurted, needing to say it, needing him to hear it while she knew he could. "I love you," she repeated. "So much. You have no idea…"

"I know," he whispered. "I know, and Kate, I-" The line went dead, Castle's voice replaced by silence. She checked her recent calls frantically, heart sinking when she saw the blocked number at the top of the list. A burner phone. Almost impossible to trace, especially now that they knew he'd called her. Whoever they were.

Kate laid back down, curling up into a ball, her knees pressing against her chest. She closed her eyes against the onslaught of tears, crying out of frustration and happiness. Frustration because she had no idea where Castle was or who was holding him and had no way to contact him. Happiness because he was alive. He hadn't died. She hadn't failed him, not completely anyway. She could still make this right.

That thought kept her going, kept a smile on her face as she drifted off to sleep. He's alive, he's alive, he's alive…

*Toldja it'd be worth the wait, didn't I? Well, maybe not in so many words, but you get my point. I'm so sorry for the ridiculous delay. I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again because we're close to the end. We're so close.