Cliff-hanger! So sorry I can't resist but I promise no more, for now.
Longest chapter ever… just for you guys, luvin' the reviews.
BTW this is going to be a song fic… kind of…
If you really want to understand how Amy is feeling then I would really suggest that you listen to the song "Don't Forget" by Demi Levato, even though I am going to be incorporating it into this chapter anyway.
Please 'don't forget' to review.
Cristina
SHAMY4EVER.
Disclaimer from previous chapters applies.
(Sheldon)
"I'm sorry what?" Sheldon was stunned; suddenly things were falling eerily into place.
He put Tyler down slowly and saw a little girl, probably of the same age approach the boy, whisper something in his ear before running away together, and he was flabbergasted to notice that the little girl had the same sparkling blue eyes that he did.
"Hello, Sheldon." A voice came from behind them, Sheldon turned around to see Amy Farrah Fowler. She looked far more sophisticated than he remembered wearing dark grey trousers that hung loosely on her legs and a creamy loose shirt, her hair was up in a sleek ponytail and the beret was no longer there. She stood holding the little boy, who moments before had been in Sheldon's arms, the little girl grabbing onto her right leg.
(Amy)
She woke up to a pounding headache made worse by the sound of her son crying, she quickly got up and went down the stairs, stopping abruptly when she saw him.
The man of her dreams and her nightmares, holding her – his – son in his arms gently moving him from side to side. He looked the same as always, messenger bag, superhero shirt over a long sleeved shirt and nude corduroy trousers.
Her heart broke thinking about what her life together would have been from the beginning. If only she had told him. Suddenly she heard him ask Tyler for his name, she prayed to a deity she wasn't sure existed that he didn't say his full name, she had chosen to use his name too because she wanted the twins to have a little bit of their father even if he was never really there.
"…Tyler Robert Fowler-Cooper." Amy was dragged out of her thoughts by the name, she saw Penny bite her lip nervously and wince when Sheldon turned a sick white colour. He put Tyler down and together with Marie came up to her, she picked him up and softly kissed his forehead, he nestled into her shoulder and Marie held onto her leg still looking at Sheldon. She had to speak up.
(Sheldon)
His gaze flew over her, examining every detail, taking it all in.
"Well, we are just going to check on Ryan, I think he is awake now, you know motherly feelings and all, so you know, get comfortable and …" Penny quickly left the kitchen, grabbing Leonard's hand hastily and both avoiding all eye contact.
"Wait!" Amy said to Penny, who stopped suddenly, "Take them please." She said giving Penny and Leonard the children, Penny just nodded silently and gave her a look of determination.
Sheldon may have not even realised that they left, his eyes glued on Amy and the children she was holding onto so tenderly. He realised he hadn't said anything yet so he decided to speak up, "Hello Amy." He squeaked causing her to look at him briefly in the eyes before looking down at the ground.
"Sheldon, I have something to tell you, please sit down." Amy whispered looking directly at the table rather than at him. He nodded his head and proceeded to sit down. Amy followed him.
When they were both seated, Amy folded her hands and placed them on the table, wringing her fingers in anxiety.
"What was that?" Sheldon said suddenly causing Amy to look up at him; he needed to hear what he already suspected come from her own lips.
"What was what?" Amy asked but realised what he was talking about.
"Why did he say my name is his?" He said completely discombobulated about the entire situation.
"He… umm... he…" Amy took a long pause in which Sheldon was now looking directly at her and his eyebrows furrowed in deep confusion. "He's your son." Amy whispered looking down at her hands.
"What?" Sheldon said quietly, his face expressionless. "No… I… umm… don't have a son…" Sheldon said completely in denial and stuttering. He took a long pause and Amy's heart pounded faster than ever before; she could hear Sheldon taking short, jagged breaths
"How old is he?" Sheldon asked his tone breathy, demanding and irritated.
"He's 4 in July." Amy replied, her tone also becoming stronger, she wasn't going to let him make her feel guilty.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Sheldon said his whisper furious, tightening his hands into fists.
"YOU LEFT, SO IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!" Amy shouted, causing Sheldon to glare at her.
"How in the hell can you say that you being pregnant with my children has nothing to do with me. I would have stayed." Sheldon said still whispering, causing Amy to feel even more annoyed at him. "And the girl?" Sheldon asked looking directly at her.
Amy looked away clenching her jaw also tightening her hands, "She's your daughter; they're twins." She replied.
Suddenly he banged his fists on the table and stood up causing the chair to tumble over. Amy jumped at the sudden noise but also stood up.
"I HAD A RIGHT TO KNOW!" Sheldon shouted, running his hands through his hair roughly and looking up.
Did you forget
that I was even alive?
Did you forget
everything we ever had?
Did you forget?
Did you forget
about me?
"YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME, ABOUT EVERYTHING!" Amy shouted back, tears starting to fall down her cheeks.
"I…" Sheldon didn't know what to say, the immense anger and hurt he was feeling left him numb.
Did you regret
ever standing by my side?
Did you forget
what we were feeling inside?
Now I'm left to forget
about us?
"It wasn't easy, Sheldon, a week after you left I found out, four weeks after we…" Amy had already sat back down and had her head in her hands. "I gave you everything I had and you left, so I hadto forget."
But somewhere we went wrong
we were once so strong
our love is like a song
you can't forget it.
"No Amy, I never forgot, I couldn't, and I wouldn't." Sheldon said quietly, also sitting back down.
"You don't understand, I haven't seen my mom in 4 years and I would have had to raise them alone if it wasn't for Penny and Leonard." Amy said, tears falling silently.
"I was head over heels in love with you; you finally gave me your love and all I ever wanted… you," Amy whispered. "But you left. Did you forget how strongly we felt for one another, how we vowed to make each other happy regardless what others thought?"
So now I guess
this is where we have to stand
Did you regret
Ever holding my hand
never again
please don't forget
don't forget.
Sheldon felt so guilty, but the anger for not being able to see his children or even know they existed took over.
"Nevertheless, you could have called, I would have come back." Sheldon said through gritted teeth, trying to stay calm.
"Why, to do what?" Amy said angrily.
"To get to KNOW THEM! DON'T YOU COMPREHEND? THEY ARE MY OFFSPRING! I HAD A RIGHT!" Sheldon shouted back.
"No, don't give me that crap! If you cared you would have called, made an effort." Amy snapped back.
"I… thought you moved on… we broke up… there was no reason to call you…" Sheldon reasoned, mostly with himself.
We had it all
We were just about to fall
Even more in love
Than we were before
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us
But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
"How about, oh I don't know, to say 'Amy we had sex four weeks ago, how are you?'" she said sarcastically.
Sheldon narrowed his eyes at her, "Our relationship was over, it didn't work out, and therefore I could not call to say that." He spat back.
"No, you didn't let it work, you suggested we terminate it and now look where it got us." Amy said quickly wiping her tears.
"Well I beg to differ, had you called and told me everything, I would have returned and it would have been easier for you." Sheldon said haughtily.
Amy's eyes widened at his response, "Right, because you're perfect, my fucking hero! If I had called you I would have bet money that you would have panicked and stayed in Geneva, it took us 5 years to have sex!" Amy spat back even angrier than before.
"And look where that got us." Sheldon muttered back.
Somewhere we went wrong
we were once so strong
our love is like a song
you can't forget it
At all.
So at last
all the pictures have been burned
and all the past
is just a lesson that we've learned
I won't forget
I won't forget us.
Shaking her head, Amy replied "You know what Sheldon? I'm over this, over you, over everything and most of all, know that I was done with you a long time ago." Sheldon winced for a second before turning back into his expressionless demeanor.
"Likewise." He replied looking away, his jaw clenched.
But somewhere we went wrong
our love is like a song
But you won't sing along
you've forgotten
about us.
They stayed in an eerie silence for some minutes before Sheldon spoke, "What are their names?"
Amy looked up, somewhat shy because the names she had chosen were some of his favorite scientists. "As you already know, his name is Tyler Robert Fowler-Cooper and her name is Marie Annabelle Fowler-Cooper, Tyler was born 5 minutes before Marie." She said quietly and becoming surprised when she saw his face soften.
"Why did you give them my name?" He asked, genuinely shocked.
"My own father was rarely ever with me, I needed to give them something to hold on to." She replied quietly but sternly.
Sheldon remained quiet again and so did Amy, stealing looks at one another but mainly keeping their eyes on their laps.
Sheldon's mind raced with all kinds of thoughts, he couldn't believe Amy said that to him, he couldn't believe he replied like that. He couldn't believe he was a father to twins, with Amy Farrah Fowler… a father.
When he was small he vowed to himself that when (if ever) he became a dad, he wouldn't be like his own, he'd be better, he'd care for his children. He'd love them.
"Can I see them?" Sheldon asked his tone soft and even shy.
Amy looked up at him, shocked at this; she stared at him for a long while before saying, "Are you going to be around for them? Will you be there for them when they need you?" she wasn't sure Sheldon would commit and she wouldn't let him do the same thing he did to her, to them.
Sheldon's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and shock, "Of course, I would never do otherwise." He said.
They both stared into each other deeply for the first time in four years, they could feel how the other was feeling just by looking into each other's eyes and in that moment they realized that they've never stopped loving, missing and longing for each other, tingles ignited all over their body making them tremble slightly. Sheldon looked away and cleared his throat loudly. Amy stood up hastily and blushing said "I'll be right back."
As Amy left Sheldon remembered of all the times when he was in Geneva, he thought about coming back or even calling Amy, but the fear of hearing she had moved on with someone else held him back. He regretted it.
Sheldon stood and realized that a miniature Dr. Who was on the ground, he walked over and picked it up.
(Amy)
As she walked outside of the kitchen, she turned down the hall and leaned against the wall, taking deep slow breaths to calm her speeding heart.
She couldn't understand why she still felt like this for him after so long, after everything that had happened between them. Just then she realized that Penny and Leonard were hiding at the top of the stairs, when Amy saw them they both smiled sheepishly and stood up.
"Where are the twins?" Amy asked going up the stairs.
"In Ryan's room." Leonard replied opening the door and letting Amy in.
"I need to speak with them" She said, Leonard nodding and Penny walking over to get Ryan before shutting the door.
Although the twins were only three going on four, they were incredibly smart for their age.
"Hey guys." Amy said quietly.
"Hi mommy!" They both said in unison, Amy sat down in a tiny children's chair whilst the twins sat in the creamy colored carpet.
"Who was the tall man?" Marie asked causing Tyler to rub his forehead.
"Well, he's your daddy." Amy replied back seriously; hoping to get their full attention.
"Our daddy?" they replied in unison again.
"Yes and he wants to see you." Amy continued, searching their expressions.
"He wants to see us? Why?" Tyler replied, Marie looking down at the ground.
"Well because he wants to meet you, would you like to meet him, you don't have to if you don't want to." Amy said looking into their eyes with concern.
"I do!" Tyler said, "I really like his Flash t-shirt!" Amy smiled at that.
"And you, Marie?" Amy said lifting her daughter's face by her chin, she had been unusually quiet.
"What if he doesn't like me?" Marie asked softly chewing on her bottom lip, Amy's eyes softened.
"He'll love you." Amy replied smiling softly at both children.
She watched as their eyes lit up and they both nodded in response.
"Come on." She said, offering each a hand.
(Sheldon)
Sheldon stood by a chair, shifting nervously on each foot. He started to hear footsteps and his heart sped up.
Suddenly Amy walked in, hand in hand with Tyler and Marie and his heart skipped a beat. There they were; the people he lived for and loved even though he knew he needed to show that.
Amy looked down at the twins, who were hiding behind her legs. She nodded at Tyler, who stepped forward cautiously. Sheldon bent down so as to not intimidate him, Amy watched carefully.
"Hello." Tyler whispered looking at the floor, as he stood in front of Sheldon.
"Hello, Tyler," Sheldon also replied softly, "I believe this is yours." Sheldon said, showing him the action figure and watching his son's eyes light up.
"Yes!" He shouted grabbing the action figure and jumping onto Sheldon, hugging him tightly.
Amy's eyes bulged out as she watched Sheldon hug him back tightly and smile, instead of tensing up like he usually did.
As Tyler let go of Sheldon, they both looked straight into each other's eyes, Sheldon still mesmerized by how much they reminded him of Amy.
Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye he saw Amy nod at Marie who approached with small tentative steps, until she stood right next to Tyler. Sheldon noticed how much his daughter looked like him, blue eyes, dark brown hair and milky white skin.
"Hello, daddy." She said quietly, looking at her shifting feet.
"Hello Marie." Sheldon replied, just hearing them call him 'daddy' tugged at his heart. Amy leaned on the door frame, a smile playing on her lips as she looked on.
"I really like your shirt, daddy." Tyler said, looking down at the Flash shirt admirably. "Thank you Tyler, I really like your action figure too." Sheldon replied softly.
"I knew you liked Dr. Who because mommy told us so." Marie joined in, now more enthusiastic than before. "She also told us that you're super smart." Tyler continued; smiling adoringly at his father.
This caused Sheldon to look up at Amy, who simply blushed and looked at her feet, tightening her grip on her hands.
When Sheldon's attention came back to his children he noticed that they were whispering in each other's ears. Suddenly, he saw Tyler shake his head vigorously at Marie, who pouted at her brother.
"Daddy, Marie wants to know what your name is." Tyler said shyly, "My name is Sheldon Cooper." Sheldon replied smiling softly at his children.
"That's my name too!" Tyler and Marie both shouted out, whilst jumping up and down. Sheldon looked up to see Penny, Leonard and Amy grinning at him and the twins.
"Come on, daddy, let's go and play." Tyler said whilst tugging on Sheldon's hand followed by Marie taking his other hand.
As he left Penny turned and said to Amy, "Who would have thought that Dr. Whackadoodle is good with kids?"
"Yes, I believe I wasn't expecting that either," Amy replied, "but as long as he cares for them."
"And what about you?" Penny asked; concern in her eyes.
"Penny, we both agreed that it didn't work out before therefore it won't work out now." Amy said committed to not letting her real feelings loose.