I've finally figured out that this story is set around the middle of Startled By His Furry Shorts. Veggies, and reindeers, and knickers, oh my!

Enjoyyyy!

Friday August 25th

Boudoir of confusionosity

1:00pm

What motivated Sven to throw Rollo's undercrackers on the chandelier, after Rosie dared him to run down her street in the nuddy-pants, I will never know.

I blame my family.

1:10pm

Lolling around the house. Swiss family mad should be home soon.

5 minutes later

I hear a lot of giggling.

Mutti, vati, and Libby just crashed into my room.

Mutti said, "Oh Gee! It was so fabulous! There was this one class me and the girls took! And the instructor was so cute! He had-"

Vati interrupted her by clearing his throat.

Mutti said, "Oh I missed you all so much!" And gathered us into a group hug.

Believe me, I tried to run, but Libby got a hold of my legs.

2 minutes later

I doubt I'll even be able to get live the life of luxury that I'm destined for, with all the money I'll have to spend on a therapist.

I've been quite literally almost crushed by mom's coconut bra. She says its part of her hula costume, but I think it's just an excuse to practice her side career as a prostitute.

1:30pm

Walking around with Libby hanging onto my leg.

Bloody hell. Why do boys not wear belts? My pants are about to fall off. Ooer.

I was about to have to walk down the stairs like that, but thankfully Angus walked by, so Libby grabbed onto him.

I still don't get why he lets her do that.

I'm the one who actually takes care of him.

But he is a boy cat, and boys are vair confusing.

In the kitchen

Quelle surprise! No food.

30 seconds later

Eating toast

2:00pm

Phone rang.

Vati said, "Georgia, I'm trying to sleep! Get that bloody phone!

And as you all know I'm vair polite, and full of niceosity, so, I said, "Don't worry oh badgery one! I know you are so tired from your long vacation of plotting ways to turn houses into swimming pools! I'll get the phone!"

And a shoe flew down the stairs.

Great parenting.

1 minute later

It was Jas. She sounded out of breath.

"Gee! Gee! Guess where I am!"

"In a pumpkin?"

"Ye- wait, no. People don't stand in pumpkins."

"Pumpkin people do."

"No, they don't."

"Yes, they do."

"No, they don't."

"Yes, they do." I put the phone down on her before she could disagree with my full of logicosity argument.

30 seconds later

Phone rang.

I answered, "Hello, this is Georgia Nicolson, I can't speak very long, because some cousins of mine, who are pumpkin people, are visiting.

Jas said, "Gee! Open the door!"

"Which door?"

"The front one!"

"Front of where?"

"YOUR HOUSE!"

What the bloody hell is she talking about?

Front door

Jas is hopping.

She said, "LOOK! LOOK! LOOK!" And held a mobile in my face.

"Yes, that's lovely, Jas."

"It's mine!"

I tried to hide my jealousosity. "So?"

"So? I can press buttons! And make calls! And take pictures!"

"My remote can do that."

"No it can't."

"Yes it can."

"Show me."

"It's in the shop."

"What shop?"

"The remote control shop."

"There isn't a remote control shop."

"That just proves that you're even more of a non believer than I thought. Now, shut up, Jas, before you annoy me further."

She was getting her keys out to start up her huffmobile, so I pretended that I was interested, even though I was. Très confusing, I know, but you lot aren't so dim that you can't keep up. I hope.

My fortress of womanosity (i.e. my bedroom)

3:00pm

Apparently she bought the mobile herself because she works now. It's a pre-paywhatsit mobile.

Jas was telling me about her job at the Jennings's organic fruit and legume shop, when vati walked by.

Vati said (as he rudely and uninvitedly entered my room), "See, that's what a sensible gir- um…boy? I think… should be doing. Getting a job, saving up money, buying her-his own THINGS." He patted Jas on the head, and her wig started to slip off.

Vati looked really confused, and tried to push it back into place, but it covered her eyes. Then he just quit at trying to fix it.

Jas said, "Well, actually, they were looking for a temporary employee, because Tom is leaving next week to go to a Kiwi-a-gogo land for 4 months…" She started to tear up; I wasn't sure if it was because I kept elbowing her in the ribs to get her to stop talking, or because Tom was leaving. Or a little bit of both…

Vati ignored Jas's reaction, and focused on me. "It's perfect! Gee, get down there now, and talk to the Jennings, now I won't have to give you money!" He walked out of my room, skipping and humming.

How those pants support his giganticimus bum is beyond me.

10 seconds later

Really, how the FLOOR supports him is even more beyond me…

2 minutes later

Jas is still sniffly, but she's perked up a bit at the idea of us working together. I was surprised, but then I remembered how I was the replacement Tom. But, because I'm full of kindnosity, I agreed.

4:00pm

Home

After a rigorous interview (i.e. they asked me how old I was, and when I could work), I have a job. Goody!

9:00pm

In my bean bag chair, reading up on one of mum's books.

10 minutes later

Oh merde. Would a guy read this? Probably not…well I can't let Dave the Laugh know, but I do need to catch up, it's been a years since I learned more about boydom.

30 seconds later

But…I still need to find out how to entrance boys when I go back to being a girl. Well, what Dave doesn't know won't eat him.

2 minutes later

Or is it hurt?

9:15pm

That wouldn't make any sense.

9:20pm

Buddha's words always confuse me…oh this is so tiring…

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Saturday August 26th

8:30am

The ground

Oww owwwwy ow! My head hurts like billio. I must have fallen off the bean bag and hit my head on the side table when I fell asleep.

Great, this only gives me an hour for hair and make-up. Oh, no, damn, I can't. Stupid bet. Well, I'll just go get brekkie. Then, I get to meet Jas and go to the Jennings Grocery for training.

9:00am

Phone rang

It was Jas.

I said, "Hello."

"I JUST SAVED A BABY BIRD!"

"From a turtle?

"What are you talking about? Turtles don't eat birds."

"Hungry turtles do."

"No, they eat plants."

"And hummus?"

"No, Gee."

"Well you should name it turtle."

9:30am

Jas is on sitting on her wall, fiddling with where her fringe should be, but thanks to her Tomish wig, she can't fiddle. Ha.

I said, "How's Turtle?"

"His name is Karen."

"His name?"

10:15pm

I'm not going to be able to speak again, my throat is so sore.

Why am I in here? What did I do? I didn't even kick that old pensioner when he couldn't decide between green and red apples. I was being the bestest sales person.

2 minutes later

Now I'm stuck with Ms. Huffy Knickers in a closet full of potatoes, onions, and carrots.

I'm going to be forced to kill her and make a delicious stew.

I said, "Jas, if we're in here any longer I'm going to have to kill you and make you into a delicious stew."

"Well, that's too bad, because you won't be able to."

"Why's that?"

"Because you have no pots, or water."

"Well I'll…good point." I started throwing more potatoes at the door and shouting.

10:30pm

If only I hadn't come to help Jas and her commodious knickers reach something high up. Or I could have just not agreed to help close the shop, and left Jas to do it, but she said she was scared.

I had said, "Of what?"

She said, "Well sometimes, you know, people like, grapes and all, and they come in and take them."

"Jas, you know the only people that come in here are the elderly mad and pregnant women, you could easily summon the woodland creatures to help you. Like in the popular kids story Spring Blue."

"You mean Snow White."

Then I biffed her over the head, and she got all huffy until I agreed to help her.

Now I'm here.

20 million years later (or do I mean trillion?)

I said, "I really hate you, Jas."

"This isn't so bad; I can teach you some wilderness songs that Tom and I learned on our adventure course."

"Does it involve voles?"

"Oh, so you already know it?"

Kill me now.

10 minutes later

I said, "OH GOD! WHAT IF WE BECOME VEGGIE PEOPLE?"

Jas started to hyperventilate.

I heard loud stomps outside and started to shout again.

"Aider moi! Les légumes attaquent!"

Jas nudged me, "Hey, I'm here, too."

I said, "Aider moi!...et ma très stupide ami!" And threw more onions at the door.

Finally, the door flung up, and I accidentally pegged the person on the other side of the door, Sven.

Sven said, "Ja! Party with the veggies!"

I jumped on him and shouted, "NEVER HAVE I BEEN SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU! YOU REINDEER-A-GOGO FULE!"

Jas ran out behind me and hugged the rest of the Ace Gang.

Jas said, "How'd you know we were in here?"

Rosie said, "Well remember how we were planning to go shopping? Well, when you two didn't show up, I got my Sherlock Hilary costume out, and we searched the town. Mabs remembered you were working today, so we went to the Jennings house, and then, well, um, Robbie answered the door, and said you were closing the shop, so he brought us here.

WHAT!

THE GUITAR PLUCKER WAS HERE?

Robbie walked from the front of the store to where we were standing.

Robbie said, "Hi, Gee…nice hair…and pants?"

I said "Hngggggmmm."

Oh God, am I drooling?

A/N

I had to, it was so tempting.

Xoxo,

Tay