Book Ends

Chapter 2 – Don't forget to sleep with one eye open.

Kubras face came in close. She could smell the coffee on his breath and the pepper in his cologne, his stubble roughly brushed her cheek. His fingers gently moved a lock of her dark hair and tucked it behind her ear. His breath was hot on her neck when he spoke, his voice haunting, "I will find you."

Green eyes shot open. Alex did a quick scan of the room and once satisfied she was alone, she allowed herself to breathe. It didn't happen regularly, but every so often Alex woke from a dream similar to this. A subconscious reminder to sleep with one eye open, a reminder that she wasn't free, that she would never be free. She didn't know if Kubra was actively looking for her anymore, but she was sure there was still a bounty on her head. It had been just under three years since she made her escape in Cambodia, and today she found herself in an apartment in West Hollywood.

Pealing herself from her bed sheets, she headed for the bathroom. Her roommate had company tonight, she could hear them. Splashing cold water onto her face, she filled a glass with water and stared into the mirror, her thoughts somewhere between Bucharest and Berlin, the last places she had spent any time before landing in Los Angeles.

"Ayyy," a wild haired woman appeared behind her, waking Alex from her thoughts. She took the glass of water from Alex's hand and downed the contents in one motion. "Thirsty work," she winked at Alex's reflection before passing the empty glass back. Alex stared at the glass, and painted a smile on her face. She wasn't very good at fooling Nikki, her best friend of two years. Kind eyes looked at her with concern, "bad dream?"

Alex gave a nod and let out a frustrated sigh. Nikki knew about Alex's past, not in any great detail, but enough to understand the troubled look on the taller woman's face. She had no words of comfort for her friend, what could she say?

"There's cake in the refrigerator," she offered.

"Thanks," Alex left the bathroom and headed to the kitchen. She checked the clock on the wall. 4am.

It was the anniversary of her mother's death, and for the first time in three years, she was going to visit her grave. Returning to New York, if only for a few hours, came with its dangers, it was her home, it was where Kubra was based. New York was big, but there was at least a small chance she could be seen by one of his men. She would have to be careful. Her bag for the journey was already packed, Nikki had paid for the trip on her credit card to help Alex avoid any traces back to herself, and she had a disguise picked out with another for back up.

Alex knew nothing about Kubra or the company anymore, she was blind to any information they may have on her, and blind to anyone who may be working with them. She hadn't noticed anything suspicious, but his men were talented enough to make sure that she wouldn't. She had lived like a normal civilian for over two years, she wasn't as observant as she had once been, she wasn't as sharp. She didn't let her worries show though, Nikki would never have helped her with the ticket if she'd thought Alex was putting herself in danger.

As 5am crept around, she began dressing in her disguise, nothing too extreme, a simple long sleeved white shirt to cover the tattoos on her arm, a pair of smart grey trousers and a matching tailor fitted suit jacket. She tied her hair up, popped in a pair of contact lenses to change the colour of her eyes, applied a subtle layer of make-up, and slipped on a pair of rimless glasses.

As she grabbed her bag to leave, Nikki walked in and gave her a wolf whistle. Alex shoved her playfully. "Keep it shut, Nichols" she threatened.

"Very niiiice," the girl let her fingers slide down the buttons of her shirt, "you look almost intelligent," she joked, poking her hard in the chest. "When will you be back?"

"I land at twenty to midnight tonight," Alex told her friend, "don't worry, I'll catch a cab." She scooped up her keys and left before her friend could protest.

Her flight left on time at 7.25am, it was filled with people dressed much like herself, all absorbed in paperwork and laptops. By the time the flight had landed at 4.05pm, New York time, there were women refreshing their makeup ready for late afternoon meetings, and men stretching in their seats, eager to enter the hustle and bustle of the city. Alex kept her mind focussed on the route she would be taking, she would go straight to the place her mother was buried, and then straight back to the airport. She had four hours before she was due to board the flight home, and when considering the traffic in New York, she didn't have much time to waste.

The subway was as busy as she remembered it, New York hadn't changed much.

When she arrived at her mother's headstone, she noticed that somebody had been maintaining it. She wasn't sure who, she hadn't known many of the people in her mother's life around her time of death, but it made her happy knowing somebody cared enough to keep the headstone looking clean and tidy, as her mother would have wanted. A feeling of guilt spread through her that she couldn't be the one visiting her, and taking care of her resting place. Alex sat down and crossed her long legs, feeling as small and as vulnerable as a child, she placed a colourful bouquet of flowers down beside the headstone and rested forehead against the cold stone. A single tear swelled in the corner of her eye before rolling down her cheek, "Hi mom," she started. She wasn't sure what she believed, or if she believed anything at all, but just in case, she decided it was time to be honest with her mother, it was time to come clean. She pulled at her hair, and it fell in loose waves around her shoulders.

"I don't know if you're listening, or even if you can listen.. I don't know if you've been able to look down on me, is that how it works?" She shook her head, "maybe you already know what I'm here to talk to you about.." She looked around, almost hoping for a sign that her mother could hear her.

"Remember when I used to call you, and each time I would be someplace else? Panama or Tanzania, or wherever.. And you would laugh at some of the crazy stories I would tell you? I think you knew I wasn't exactly working in a respectable job, but you never asked.. I was working for a drugs cartel. You always warned me to stay away from drugs, you didn't want me ending up like half of our neighbourhood, dealing drugs or hooked on them, you will be happy to know that I wasn't either.. The job I did wasn't on the streets, it was very much in the background.. Importation, I was good at it, really good at it" Alex took a deep breath, "anyway, when you… left.. I wasn't there, I didn't even know you were ill, you didn't tell me, I hadn't seen you in so so long, and then you were just.. gone" another tear ran down her cheek, and then another… "and I just kept thinking about all of the things I wished I'd done differently.. I lost someone else that day too, someone who came from nowhere, completely unexpected, but I fell for her, big time fell for her, she accepted me for who I am, she was smart, too smart to stick around while I was busy directing heroin around the globe.."

She cleared her throat, regaining more control over her emotions, "I was broken, so I left.. Ran away in Cambodia with $70,000 of the cartels money, nearly got caught in Istanbul, but I spent the best part of a year in some really crazy places, had to throw them off the scent. The world is much smaller than you would think, especially for an international drugs cartel. But I got to see Europe a little. I know you always wanted to see Europe, so I went for you. Anyway, the adventure couldn't last forever, so I made my way to California, stayed in a motel for a while until I found a job, a real job, on the right side of the law.. In a Book store, it suits me fine, you know how I like to read. It's not as exciting as I was used to, and it was definitely a pay cut, but it covers the bills, and keeps me out of trouble.. I live in a rented apartment with my best friend, Nikki, she's wild but she has a good heart. I'm single, forever single," she let out a sad laugh. For as long as she could remember, her mother had been single, clinging onto the hope that Alex's "Rock Star" father would come back for her. Alex knew better than that, though. She'd known, even from a young age, that her father wasn't coming back. Her father was a drunk, drug abusing has-been, she'd had the disappointing displeasure of meeting him once, and it had been his manager who introduced her to Kubra and the cartel. She chose not to share any of this with her mother, still wanting to protect her from unnecessary pain. "I'm sorry," she rubbed her thumb over her the letters engraved into the headstone, "I'm sorry," her voice was barely a whisper.

The alarm on her phone sounded, it was time for her to leave. "I love you," she leant in and kissed the top of the headstone. She couldn't bring herself to say goodbye. She walked away, and wiped the tears from her face before tying her hair back up. She turned to look back before she left and felt her shoulder knock into a solemn looking man who was holding a phone to his ear, he grunted and she apologised but he had already passed her by. She looked over the sea of graves, and smiled seeing the bright flowers she had left, they were the brightest in the graveyard; her mother would like that.

The journey back to the airport had been a blur, she had walked to the subway station paying no attention at all to her familiar surroundings. She felt happy as she thought about her mother, enjoying memories she shared with her. It was dark as she boarded the plane, and she felt a little more relaxed now that she was leaving New York. Tired from her long day and disrupted rest the night before, she let herself sleep on the plane, and before she knew it they were circling LAX, and preparing for landing. She had been waiting and preparing for today for so long, and now it was over. She felt relieved and peaceful. It was as she exited the plane that she noticed a familiar brown jacket and dark green woolly hat. She thought for a moment about who it was, perhaps a customer or one of Nikkis friends.. and as the man turned to grab his bag from the overhead compartment, she recognised him as the man she knocked into at the graveyard. Surely it was just coincidence? She knew better. She lowered her head, knowing her height made her easier to see. She followed the crowd of people off the plane, her ability to find calmness when under stress was a natural gift, she headed for the ladies toilets, and sure enough she could see his green hat leant against the wall a short distance away. She was being followed.

Alex locked herself into a cubicle and rang Nikki.

"Hey," she said calmly, "so, a situation has arose, and I'm going to need you to come and get me.. I'll be in a blonde wig, blue jeans and a grey UCLA pull over, try and use a different car," she advised, knowing they would be able to trace Nikkis car back to their address.

Alex wiped the make up from her face with a wipe, and tied her hair back tightly before pulling on the blonde wig. She took out a creased fabric shoulder bag, and put her other bag and her belongings inside, before walking out of the cubicle. She paused in the mirror and adjusted the wig before calmly leaving, fighting the impulse to look over her shoulder and check whether the brown jacket and green hat was following her. She continued down the causeway, passed through security and checked her phone as she entered he parking lot. She couldn't see any sign of the man from the graveyard and let out a breath she hadn't even realised she'd been holding in.

Pacing up and down the path impatiently, Alex kept a look out of any sign of trouble, she scanned each car as it went by, and watched the few stationary cars for any sign she was being watched. She was on edge and almost jumped out of her skin when she felt the phone buzz in the pocket of her jeans. "Red Kia, to your left" she slipped the phone back in her pocket and headed for the car.

The driver was a dark haired younger woman with smudged red lipstick, Alex looked from her to Nikki, who had a smudge of red upon her own lips. "Lorna, Alex, Alex, Lorna" the wild haired girl introduced, "We good?"

"Lost him," Alex nodded, she pulled the itchy wig from her head as they hit the freeway.

Nikkis eyes were full of concern as she turned in her seat to look at her friend. Alex shook her head. Now was not the time to explain. Nikki took the blonde wig and shoved it between her friend's legs, "now you have a merkin!"